And now to reply to this C&C.
Probably the only one I'll get to today:
Appreciated ^_^
The One She Truly Loves
A Ranma 1/2 fanfic
by Ginrai
A sure sign of evil, then.
Thanks ^_^
--------------------------------------------
Once again another morning that I wake up angry.
Ah ha. First person narrative. Usually means less grammar mistakes that
way,
since poor grammar is often necessary to get the proper 'voice' of the
chracter.
Yup, does make things easier.
Angry that my dream
of being with him was just that; a dream.
Ah, no doubt Kodachi thinking about Soun. A little OOC, bit not too much
so.
As I go through my morning routines I
routines, I (I think)
Yup. Didn't change that in the rewrite, either.
once again think about _him_.
The man of my dreams. The one with the cute eyes.
Not sure if I would bother with the lines around 'him'. Don't think the
word
needs the added emphasis there.
Hmm... well, it's not as necessary here as in some other parts in the
fic. Will see.
But then come the thoughts of honor. Damn that word.
I missed it in a spelling bee in second grade and have hated it since.
Hehehe
It's only because of honor that I am supposed to marry Ranma. Such a
stupid word.
Along with 'stupid' which is also a stupid word, but that goes without
saying.
Of course ^_^
I mean, he can be nice at moments.
But then, I'm sure Genghis Kahn had his nice moments too.
Everyone has their nice moments. Even a younger brother or sister ^_^
And yes, there are times when I
think that he would be a great life-mate.
for someone else, like, Bess next door.
Hey, it's your own fault, Gin. :P
Wait... when did I get blamed for that? ^_^;
Thought that was reserved for Gary ^_^
But I feel so ashamed at
those moments. Ashamed that I can even think of someone else with him
in my life. But that's just it.
I'd reword it as ''But that's the problem' since you use 'just' in the
next
sentence and the change won't interrupt the flow of thought.
Works better that way. Will change.
They're just moments. In the end I
realize that he was raised in a different lifestyle.
Eat. Fight. Crap. Sleep. Repeat.
Well, that was pretty much it. :)
Heh
It would never
work. He, on the other hand, was raised the same way I was.
As the youngest of three girls whose mother died young.
Kunou: Quiet, you! No one should know about my sex change operation!
(Assumuing it's Akane)
Now what are the chances of that? ^_^;
It would
be a perfect match.
Sounds like the title of another fic. :)
Err... ^_^;
I begin to notice that I've been taking my routines rather slow today.
I just sigh and try to hurry things up.
Sometimes.
Sometimes I wish that Ranma would just marry the girl his father
engaged him to.
Kaori Diakoku: Cool! Someone else who sees me as a legitamate fiancee. I'm
so happy!
Heh
Sometimes I wish my family would just screw the whole honor system.
Sometimes I wish that I would just have the guts to walk up to him and
kiss him right on the lips. But I know it wouldn't be right.
Besides, I can see the cold sores on his lips. No way I'm contracting
that.
Mousse (talking to fence): Shampoo, is that why you don't love me?
Shampoo: One of many, many, _many_ reasons...
Sometimes I wish that he would finally fight me seriously and beat me,
damn it! Damn that stupid rule. Damn it to hell. I'm powerless to do
anything until he fulfills it, one way or another.
Heh. Actually sounds like it could be Shampoo there with the way it's
worded.
And that's why it was written ^_^
Feeling my eyes getting hot and misty, I stop to compose myself and
prevent any sort of crying.
I decide to cut some onions to distract me so I won't cry.
Heh
While doing so, I see Ranma run past me, not noticing how I am. Though
I am relieved, it's just another reason why I like him more.
He's someone that would always pay attention to me.
Ah. So it is Kodachi thinking about Soun. Or maybe Nabby thinking about
Genma. It's hard to say.
I know what you mean. When I re-read it, I thought it was Kasumi
thinking of Happosai.
Willing to always
protect me. Always be there for me, no matter what condition he's in.
I know I sound a bit vain, but sometimes a girl likes to have attention
solely on her.
Actually it's been my experience that women get offended when they realize
that the men in their lives don't think about them all the time. ^_^
Heh, in due time I'll probably learn that the hard way ^_^
.And not matter
no matter
Sighing, I go to look, even though I know just what I'll find.
And it is exactly what I thought it would be. My true love once again
trying to untie me from an engagement I want no part of. Yet one where
'that' sounds better than 'where'
Will change.
Tatewaki Kunou, please know in your heart of hearts that you're the
only one for Akane Tendou. And one day we _will_ be together, like it
should be.
Heh. Sort of thought that was what it was.
Of course you did ^_^
Actually you could make it better and still maintain the mystery of who it
is, by throwing in some disdainful thoughts on Akane's part about how 'he'
(Kunou) sometimes makes her angry with his foolish behavior and she can't
help but hit him when he acts so stupidly. It could still give the
illusion
of Shamps/Mousse if you keep it vague.
That actually works real well. Will see where I can include that in
the revision.
--------------------------------------------
Been trying to think of what to write with all the snow outside and
this is what I get.
Heh. Snow? Defintely from a while ago.
There are some places where it's still snowing... just that it's no
where near me ^_^
I got most of my ideas for this fic from Wade Tritschler's Anti
Shampoo/Mousse page and his response page against arguments for
Shampoo/Mousse. It's amazing how similar this match is to Akane/Kunou.
I never noticed. (DB whistles innocently)
Hehehehe
Yet there are so many more fics where Shampoo is secretly in love with
Mousse.
When it's so obvious she's in love with Konatsu. :)
Heh, that could actually work rather well.
As a firm believer in Akane/Kunou and any other matches where
the girl continuously tells the guy off (it's actually her way of
saying that she loves him), I felt it was my duty to write a fic
showing her true feelings for Kunou without him changing in any sort of
way. I'm just that type of guy.
Agree. Like I said at the start, you're just plain evil.
Heh. Hopefully a few more serious fics will be out.
Though there is a certain other fic I have an urge to write one of
these days. And I can even partially blame that on you ^_^
Thanks a lot for the C&C and suggestion!
Ginrai
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