I'm still having trouble with my browser, which means I can't surf.  It 
sucks!  Anyways you read the pilot of FUMA 3000, now here's the first 
episode.  Please tell me what you think.  The next episode is Choices by Raye 
Johnsen.  That will be fun!  So enjoy the next episode of FUMA 3000.  (And 
yes there is a website, I just need to upload everything.)  Enjoy!
--------------------------------------

Now look, we're reasonable businessman, but you are trying our patience.  
Even Buddha can only be patient three times.

-Yakuza

Well, that's interesting.  I had no idea that Yakuza quoted Proverbs.  Boy 
this is so educational.

-Kintaro Oe


-- HTML Attachment decoded to text by Listar --
-- File: episode1.html

Episode One-FFVII Mystery Crossover by Sephiroth

[IMG]


I'm still learning how to MST, so please be nice. Oh yeah, the stuff in bold
is the fic itself.



Theme[0]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------

In a not too distant future
About 3000 A.D.
There was a guy named W0nderboy
Who's no different then you and me
He was a writer at fanfiction.net
He had his whole freakin' life all set
He was about to get to first base
But the writers didn't like him so they shot him into space

We'll send him bad fanfiction
The worst we can find (falala)
He's going to have to read them all
And it will really screw up his mind (falala)

Now keep in mind he can't control where stories begin or end
Because he used to those parts to make a phone and call up some of his
friends

Strange Friend Roll Call!

Dittodeth! (What's up?)

Burntice! (I do not like to fuck Pikachu!)

Weirdboy! (Smurfs? Where's those smurfs? Must kill em'!)

Maaaaaaaaage! (We can hang out and all that good stuff!)

If your wondering how they eat and breathes
And other science facts (falala)

Well guess what we don't give a darn
So shut the heck up and relax

For Fucked Up Mystery Anime 3000

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------

[Cut to space. We see a satellite in the middle of nowhere. We go for a
closeup and it slowly moves so we can see the design a little bit better.
There's is a marking on the side, and the camera stops. It says: Satellite
ofHAL]

[Cut to inside of ship]

[We see several people inside. They look bored. This is W0nderboy, Mage, and
Dittodeth.]

Mage: Damn it.

[The two look at him. The have the same feeling he does.]

W0nderboy: Until Xing sends us the next story, there's nothing we can do.

Mage: Like that's any better?

W0nderboy: True...

[Dittodeth pulls out an object, they are cards.]

Dittodeth: Fortunately I brought a deck with me. Is there a table?

[Mage leaves to get one. At the same time a button begins to flash.]

W0nderboy-Dittodeth: Man you are our hero, how did you sneak them in?

Dittodeth: Don't ask.

W0nderboy: Time for commercial break

[Presses button and scene blacks out]

[Enter scene again. Dittodeth, Mage, and W0nderboy are at a table playing
cards.]

Dittodeth: Royal Card House Flush.

[Both slam their cards on the table.]

Wonderboy: Darn!

Mage: Oh well.

[Loud noise starts. Everyone covers their eyes.]

W0nderboy: Can someone turn that off?

[Mage walks over and does so.]

[Burntice and Weirdboy enter.]

Weirdboy: Mage have you found someway to disable that alarm.

Mage: Not yet...

[Screen turns on, it's Xing.]

Xing: Hi everybody.

All: Hello Neuman!

Xing (Sarcastically): Very funny! Anyways I got your new project. It's by an
author named Sephiroth and it's called, let's see... [Checks file] Oh yes,
It's called FFVII Mystery Crossover. I hope you enjoy it.

[Loud alarm starts]

W0nderboy: We have a fanfiction alert!

[Everyone runs off screen]


Focus on doors, which opens one at a time and has strange features


#1- A mouse brandishing a huge sword as a design

#2-A steel safe. The lock moves to the right combination and then opens
automatically

#3- This door has Oompa Loompas guarding it.

#4- Next to the door are two holes on the wall and a train track on the
floor. Wile E. Coyote dashes out followed by a huge train which says
Roadrunner Rail Company on it and mentions several cities on it.

#5- Kefka's on the door. On the loud speaking you can hear his annoying
laugh.

#6- Fujiko is being chased by Lupin the Third around the area.

#7- Cupid is there. Why? I have no idea.


[The last door opens to the theater where everyone is already sitting down
orgetting ready to]


FFVII Mystery Crossover

Sorry About This Fic[0]

Mage: Then why did you make it?

Disclaimer: don't own 'em. Ain't gettin' paid.[0]
--------------------------------------

It was worse than Hell.[0]

Mage: A Sailor Moon episode?

W0nderboy: Tenchi Myuo edited on Cartoon Network?

Burntice: Pioneer?

Mage (Alex Trebek): Can you please be more specific?

Weirdboy: What is stuff Pioneer promoted?.

Mage (Alex Trebek): You are correct, pick a category.

Weirdboy: I'll take "Stuff companies who sponsor anime do to screw their
customers" for 200 Alex.

Much worse. Sephiroth wanted very much to go back in time, tell himself off
and punch Jenova in the mouth.[0]

Weirdboy: Did that make sense at all?

Mage: Nope. The author could have said that differently.

~Ruler of the planet,~ he scoffed, inwardly, ~Not even close All I got out
ofyour lies, Jenova is these two idiots who think I'm a god, and I'd give
anything to get rid of them.~[0]

W0nderboy: But unfortunately they are in the Whitehouse right now...

Burntice: I know he's evil, but isn't that a bit[0] too much?

Dittodeth: Yeah, I feel sorry for him. Not even Sephiroth deserves this.

"Hey! He's over here!" the annoying voice came from a distance but was
approaching rapidly along with its owner and the boy's close friend.[0]

~So much for a little peace and quiet.~[0]

Mage: The peace and quiet ended when this story started.

"Again, again! Heh heh heh heh!" the blond boy was near-orgasmic with
delightas he watched Sephiroth's power ignite their neighbor's newest
trailer.[0]

Weirdboy: Now for my next trick, I will throw this thing at them and kill
them. Then I will be free!!!!

Burntice: I don't think you can kill them.

W0nderboy: He was kidding. Besides, it's predictable anyways.

"Cool!! Huh huh huh huh huh," the other boy laughed.[0]

"Fire! Fire!" the blond boy praised insanely. "Hey, set me on fire,"[0]

"No way, buttmunch," the blond boy argued, pointing back at his friend "set
me on fire."[0]

"No way, you got set on fire last time,"[0]

Mage: Well that was a pointless argument.

"Who made these two idiots immortal[0]

Burntice: See?

W0nderboy: But it was[0] still predictable.

Mage: The author forgot to add a question mark.

Weirdboy: Who made them immortal? The author.

and why in the name of the planet did they stick them with me?" Sephiroth
screamed to the heavens.[0]

W0nderboy: It could have been worse.

Mage: He could of

Burntice: stuck

Dittodeth: Here.

-OWARI-[0]

Dittodeth: Oni Were Already Rejecting Inaba?

Sorry. It was nagging me. I had to do it.[0]

Weirdboy: No you didn't...

Burntice: I think it's over. Let�s go.

Mage: About time.


[Everyone leaves]


Doors:


#7- Cupid is there. Why? I have no idea.


#6- Fujiko is being chased by Lupin the Third around the area.


#5- Kefka's on the door. On the loud speaking you can hear his annoying
laugh.


#4- Next to the door are two holes on the wall and a train track on the
floor. Wile E. Coyote dashes out followed by a huge train which says
Roadrunner Rail Company on it and mentions several cities on it.


#3- This door has Oompa Loompas guarding it.


#2-A steel safe. The lock moves to the right combination and then opens
automatically.


#1- A mouse brandishing a huge sword as a design.


[Back on the SOH]


Burntice: That was short. Does anyone else have a bad feeling about it?

Dittodeth: I agree, Xing's up to something.

[Xing appears on the screen.]

Xing: So how was it?

W0nderboy: Short.

Burntice: What are you up to Xing?

Xing: What do you mean?

Burntice: Never mind.

Xing: Well until the next story is sent.

[He press a button but the screen doesn't go off]

Xing: Fools, you have no idea what I have planned. 

[Begins to laugh]

Xing: Hehehehehehe... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Oh, the screen's still on.

[Presses the right button this time, and the screen turns off]

Burntice: I knew it...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is copyrighted by Best Brains

The story is from Sephiroth (quatre@skyfall.com) I have permission to MST
it.

Inaba was created by Rumiko Takahashi

Omi are Japanese demons, but was inspired by Rumiko Takahashi's character,
Lum.

FUMA Theme by Wonderboy (Sorry, I don't know who did the original for the
show, Joel Hodgerson I think.)

This fic was inspired by Silent Steel's stories. But I don't know her email,
but you can read her stuff at
http://www.darknessrising.com/Fanfiction/SilentSteel/[1]

Please tell me what you think.

--- Links ---
   1 http://www.darknessrising.com/Fanfiction/SilentSteel/

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