Part Two of... oops, three.  ^^;;

 (Door #7: the dog-bone raises and the doors separate)
 (Door #6: a Dutch double-door.  You open the top and fall over the
   bottom)
 (Door #5: Just to spite you, it's a window.)
 (Door #4: it's a garage door.  You have to open it manually)
 (Door #3: "The Complete Works of David Eddings"... flame works well)
 (Door #2: It's a wardrobe.  You open the door... but no Narnia)
 (Door #1: a vault door; after it shuts again, it effectively keeps you
   inside)

(Mike entered the theater, carrying Tom.  Tom was placed in the fourth 
seat from the right, as Mike sat next to him.  After that was Joel, and
Crow sat in the far right seat.)

A short time later...

Joel: John Ratzenburger was lynched.
Crow: Cold fusion was achieved, at the cost of New Guardia.
Tom <physicist>: "Oops?"

Koban stood up and looked everyone at the table square in the face and
said, "Okay, first things first... 

Mike <Koban>: "Does anyone like my bug-eyes?"
Crow <Koban>: "Serena had a pimple on her forehead, that'll have to
 be squeezed soon... Rei needs her nose hairs trimmed... Ami could use
 some eye liner...."

Would any of you like some tea?"
KnightShade said, "Yeah! Tea!"

Mike <Billy>: "Teateateateateateateatea!!!  TEA!!!"
Joel: He's half in the drink as it is.
Tom: There's better ways to get your caffeine fix, Billy boy.
Crow: The legacy of the round Tetley tea bag lives on.

"Would kill for some," Mina said.

Mike: Could you demonstrate on Billy?
Tom: For shame, Mike!  Billy's just a kid!

"FOOD!" Serena said. "Uh... Drink! Gimme!"

Tom <Serena>: "Ugg, food good and drink good!  Must have both!"
Joel: The primordial Kuno.
Crow: First Frog, now Ayla... it's such a good thing that Serena's 
 characteristics are so malleable.

"Hold it down, meatballs," said Koban, "you don't want to spill on
yourself."
Serena gulped the tea down, and blacked out. 

Crow: Someday, Koban will learn not to mix up the ground tea leaves
 with the dust from the kitchen floor.
Joel: She passed out from TEA?  Man, one sip of beer might kill her!
Tom <Koban>: "Yes!  Now we can draw on her!  Doodley-doo!  Doodley-
 doo!"

Magus had a cup and seemed unfazed. He did sigh, though, as all of
the Senshi passed out.

Joel <Magus, singing>: "Jiggly... puff, ji-gaallyyy-puff!"
Mike <Koban>: "You give Serena a pair of black eyes, and I'll draw
 some whiskers on Lita!  It'll be fun!"
Crow: Geez, that's taking 'good to the last drop' a little far,
 isn't it?

"AHH!" He said. "What fine tea!"
"I've got to learn to put less chamomile in," Koban said.
Seconds later, the scouts reawakened.

Tom <Mina>: "I can see through time!"
Crow <Lita>: "I am the lizard queen!"
Joel <Marle>: "Isn't it cool?"

"Sorry about the tea, ladies."
Crono and crew explained their reasons for coming there...

Crow: Garage sales?
Tom: A fifth of Jack D.?
Joel: For Magus to answer personals ads?
Mike <ad>: "I'm twenty-something, of Asian extraction, and just
 getting over my last boyfriend who couldn't keep his eyes in his
 head.  Don't worry, I'll contact you; I can read minds."

"Okay," said KnightShade, "so you've come to kill Lavos, who'll be
cropping up in a couple of months... Hmm... 

Tom: It sounds familiar, he has a rash like that.
Crow <Magus>: "Yep, we put in a crop of Lavos sixty-five million years
 ago, and he's just beginning to produce..."
Joel <Lucca>: "We're praying daily for hail but so far, no dice."

Now you, ladies."
The scouts explained about their poor choice of paths.

Tom <Serena>: "Who knew that the sign saying, "DON'T ENTER!" was
 serious?
Mike <Ami>: "I admit it!  I knew that joining up with these girls
 would prevent me from my college education and lucrative practice!"
Joel: Something happened on the way to becoming Doc Hollywood.

"Well, we were in the NegaVerse," said Serena, "and we kinda took a
wrong turn while trying to get back home."

Joel: Be glad it didn't happen in New Orleans, the people there
 don't have a good track record with Japanese nationals.
Crow: Though I hear their funerals are a pure delight!

"So you say this Alan character looks like Magus?" Inquired Koban.
"Yep," said Rei. "Pale skin... Light blue hair... Odd clothes...
Pointy ears..."

Joel <Koban>: "Y'sure he wasn't a troll doll?"
Tom <Rei>: "And don't get me started about that Jamie Farr character!
 Talk about odd clothes... whew!"
Mike <Rei>: "Waitaminute... Ami, are you SURE you had nothing to
 do with this whole story arc?"

"Was he really quiet?" Asked Marle.
"No..."
"I'm really quiet?" asked Magus. "Well, if you would speak to me every
once in a while..."

Joel: Well, an air raid siren would look quiet compared to a blonde-
 haired pre-teen.  
Crow: For more reference, see Mina.
Tom <Magus>: "I'd still have to snub you, of course, but I'd appriciate
 the effort!"

Marle decided to ask something different. "Did he have a somewhat grim
attitude?"

Crow: She's just searching for ways to get Magus beat up by the 
 Sailor Senshi now!
Tom <Marle>: "In that case, does he look anything like Malachite?  At
 least tell me he could double as a youma!  Please?"

"Not really..." Rei said. "He kinda liked Serena."
Magus looked at Serena and said, "I don't see anything special about
her. She looks like she has big meatballs on her head."

Tom: Bill Murray and Ivan Reitman?
Mike <Magus>: "And her hair like spaghetti... along with that tiara,
 which could double as sauce... MMmmmm!"

Marle said, "Did Alan have a sister?"

Joel: Elly-Mae?
Tom: Eva Gabor?

"Um..." Rei responded, "Yeah. I think. Not sure though. Ann was...

Mike: Raggedy.  Really raggedy.

Uh... Well, he *said* she was her sister, but they treated each other
as if they were in love or something."
"Yeah," Serena said, "Ann would always get jealous when me and Alan
got close."

Crow <Serena>: "Especially when I popped in a stick of Big Red before
 meeting him... boy, we did EVERYTHING a little bit longer!"
Tom: She was wishing Alan was more like the Doublemint Twins.

"That sounds kinda like Alfador," Lucca said.
"Who?" The senshi all asked.

Mike: Lobster Alfador?
Joel: Pasta Alfaredor?
Crow: Alfalfa Alfador?

"Magus' cat."
"The story of Queen Beryl reminds me of when we saved Queen Lenee from
Yakra," Frog interjected. 

Mike: Wasn't it Queen Leene?
Tom <Frog>: "Darn it, we rescued the wrong one!"

"Except it was the King's Chancellor who was the evil creature."
"Umm..." Mina said. "Mr..... Um..."

Crow: She's trying to connect with her inner soul.
Joel: Or her inner Crash Test Dummy.
Mike <Frog as Virgil Tibbs>: "They call me... MR. TIBBS!"

Frog said, "Frog will do."
"Mr. Frog, why... uh... Are you a frog?"

Tom <Frog>: "I'll tell you, but first wanna hear the story about how
 two gay elves came to live inside my sword?"

"Ask the cloaked one..."

Mike <Mina>: "Okay.  Spill it, Koban!"
Tom: Speaking of which, whatever happened to the mighty Red Dragons
 in this scene anyway?
Crow: All of them slipped out while the Senshi and the Crono Trigger
 gang were passed out?
Joel <Brown Hornet>: "They miraculiously escaped unharmed..."

Magus explained, "Me and Frog here, we... Had an argument, and I
turned him into a frog.

Joel: Through the use of a twitching nose and a blonde wig.
Tom <Frog>: "Saman-THA!!"

Ami walked over to where Robo was standing, and stared for a while.
"May I help you?" Robo said.

Joel <Robo>: "Are you being served?"
Crow: One of the few cases where a picture *wouldn't* last longer.

"It talks! Amazing!" Ami said.
"But of course."
"What is your name, robot?"

Joel <Ami>: "Name, rank, and serial number!  NOW, Private!!"
Crow: Well, if you *must* know, I'm Crow.  Now quit breaking the
 fourth wall!

"R66-Y. Or Robo. Or Prometheus."
"Well, Robo, would you mind, er could I, um..."
"Anything, mistress."

Tom <Ami>: "Oh wow!  And I was even going to reprogram you to say
 that too!"
Joel: I dunno, but I wouldn't stand all too close to a submissive
 robot with multiple personalities.

"Can I have a look inside?"

Tom <Robo>: "Umm, shouldn't we get to know each other first?"
Crow: Geez, she just can't enough of our kind, can she?
Mike: You know you love it.
Crow: Heh.

"..............................." 

Mike: Robo's operating system just crashed.
Tom <Robo>: "DEFRAGMENTING.  PLEASE WAIT FOR - five days.  BEEP"
Joel <Ami>: "D'oh!"

a large sweat drop appeared on Robo's head, 

Mike: And as it began to fall...
All: TEN!  NINE!  EIGHT!  SEVEN!  SIX!
Tom <Dick Clark>: "Man, look at this crowd in Times Square!"
All: THREE!  TWO!  ONE!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

which was very unusual, as robots do not sweat. 

Joel: Robots, unlike humans, do NOT have an excuse for their BO.
Crow & Tom: Hey!

"That is not something I enjoy, but go ahead."

Tom <Ami>: "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!"

"You mess him up and you DIE," Lucca said.

Joel <Lucca>: "You'll find a robot's head in yer bed, capiche?"
Mike: That would certainly raise a Robot Rumpus.
Tom [shuddering]: "Don't remind me!"

"I'll only take a minute, and I'll be careful," Ami said, opening up
Robo's head and looking at the jumble of wires. 

Mike: Cut the red one!
Joel: Go for the black one!
Tom <City Hunter>: "It's the blue one!  Nookie never lies!"

"Is this supposed to be in there?" She said, pulling out a
small insect."

Crow: See?  It landed at the end of that sentence!
Joel: Robo's got lice!  Send him home with a note to his
 parents!

"No wonder he hasn't been so good in combat lately," Magus said.
"It appears Robo has literally got a bug!" Ami said, laughing to
herself.

Mike <Robo>: "I'll have you know that the "bug", as you call it,
 is my level nineteen Venonat!"
Tom <Ami>: "And it's contagious... uh-oh..."

Frog stuck out his tongue, nabbed the bug, and ate it. 
"That is what Thou geteth for messing with Robo's brain!"

Joel: Rather draconian, if you ask me.
Tom: ...Thou getteth for "messing"?
Crow: Well, it was an obscure archaic word.
Tom: I guess.
Mike <Frog>: "Thou shalt not screw with mine posse, word?"

Ami closed Robo's head and went back to her seat.

Mike: And then Ami closed Robo's seat and went back to the
 head.
Tom <Ami>: "Ahh, sweet release."

KnightShade sat, contemplating the immanent danger the world was in.

Joel <Billy>: "Wait'll they get a load of me!"
Mike: He's warning us that there's another Keanu Reeves film
 out soon!

Akira was holding his hand, wishing that he would take that stupid
iron glove once in a while. 

Crow: Alexandre Dumas this isn't.
Joel: It's barely even Leonardo DiCaprio.
Tom [singing]: I wanna hold you gaunt-gaunt-gauntlet...

Sandra was sitting there with a sad expression on her face.

Mike: There?  There?  How about there?
Crow: Take off your mask!
Joel <Sandra>: "Man, Ally McBeal wasn't even nominated as best
 comedy!  The world is just so rude!"
Tom: Fortunately, she would soon shed her plain jane looks and dress
 like the rock bimbo of John Travolta's dreams....
Joel: You're thinking of Sandra DEE, Tom.
Tom: Well... would you rather I think of Sandra Bernhard?

"What is troubling thee, milady?" Frog asked.
"Nothing," Sandra said. "I just had a mental parasite that made
gave me a severe case of depression. 

Mike: The maid gave you that parasite?  Here I always thought
 the butler did it!
Tom <Frog>: "Ooh, really?  Dinner's coming up!"
Joel: Well, for that he'd need to stick his tongue into her ear...
All: Eww!!

The parasite is gone, but the effects are still there, but not
as bad."

Crow: Well, next time cook your pork all the way through!
Mike: And remember, DON'T eat raw cookie dough.  Paid for by the
 Overprotective Parents Against Fun

"............Parasite?" Magus asked.
"Yes. My parents had it, too, and it killed them."

Joel: Anyone else having an "Aliens" flashback?

"......"
"But, fortunately, Akira was able to find and destroy it before
I fell prey to it."

Tom: Nope, now it's sounding like "Innerspace", Joel.
Mike: Did she use Monistat-3 or Monistat-7?

"Are you saying that Akira is psychic?" Rei asked.

Joel <Akira>: "I knew you were going to ask that... Hey, I
 guess I am!"
Crow: No, we're saying Tetsuo is psychic.  Pay attention!
Tom <Akira>: "Hey, I'm no one's sidekick!"

"Yes," Akira replied. "Not only am I a psychic/telekinetic,

Joel: She's also a client?

I'm also the best Ninja in the world apart from Koban."

Tom: In that case, Sho Kosugi has a bone to pick with you.
Mike: Apart from?  Does that mean the catman's Siamese
 brother is better?

"How did you turn into a cat, Koban?"

Mike: Blame Magus, again.
Joel <Koban>: "A bit too much mutagen."
Tom <Koban>: "I was once a powerful wizard until my house boy
 tricked me into eating an enchanted cookie... I knew I should
 have killed him on his seventeeth birthday instead!"

"I'm the direct result of a failed experiment in genetic
engineering," Koban explained. "Four years ago, 

Joel <Koban>: "I worked with the Scots to help them to
 clone animals.  As a gag, they made me eat off of a
 petri dish.  Those darned haggis-eaters!"

a group of genetic engineers were trying to create the
ultimate Ninja. 

Crow: And since Lee Majors moved on to be the Fall Guy,
 they had  to pick this poor schmuck.
Tom <Koban>: "Why?  Well, to extort funding from the world's
 major governments!  Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?"

So they took a sample of the DNA of the greatest Ninja master
in the world, and that of his best student. They combined it
to see if they could create a better Ninja.

Joel: But since learned skills have NOTHING to do with
 chromosomes, they decided to just turn him into a cat.
Crow: And thus the Samurai Pizza Cats were born!
Tom: These scientists were influenced heavily by Ptolemy's
 writings.
Mike: And here I thought it was one tequila worm too many.

But there was a mistake made. 

Mike: Dr. Pierre Lamarck had to go back over his
 calculations.
Tom <Dr. Frink>: "Oops, forgot to carry the one."

The student's cat left a hair in the DNA, and, 

Crow <Koban>: "We couldn't find the lint brush in time."

when the DNA was put into the recombiner and artificially
aged, they ended up with me:

Crow: Nine zany ounces of Roquefort cheese!
Tom: But was it cask-aged or barrel-aged?

the ultimate Ninja... cat. As a by-product of the genetic
tomfoolery, 

Joel: There's MANY more statutes on the US Code concerning
 ethics of science.

I ended up with the ability to shoot fire out of my hands."

Joel: Yeah, now THAT'S based in science too!
Mike: Especially if he picks a Fire Flower first.
Tom <Koban>: "And if I get my hands on a leaf, I grow
 a different tail!"

"So, you're a mutant?" Ami asked.
"Yes."
"What's Erick's story?" Rei asked.

Tom: Betcha he's a genetic accident too.
Crow: Or at least a genetic accident waiting to happen.

"I come from the future." Erick said
"Big deal," Magus interjected. "We come from the past."
"Not I," Robo said.

Crow <Magus>: "But I didn't say 'I', I said 'we'."
Mike <Magus>: "We were all stuck in a bomb shelter for
 centuries upon centuries!"
Tom: This is starting to sound like a Fallout crossover.

"I come from the year 2300, to be exact." Erick said.
"That is my time period also."

Tom [singing]: "If you're from 2300 and you know it, clap
 your hands... if you're from 2300 and you know it, clap
 your hands!"
Crow [singing]: "That's my time period too... whenever we go
 out, the people always shout..."

"My parents were killed by mutants while trying to get food. 

Mike: In that case, blame Koban and his spawn.
Joel: It was a rather nasty accident... Billy's parents
 were reaching for some cream of mushroom soup, and forgot
 to check for shopping carts coming the opposite direction.
Crow: Yeah, I hear those Supermarket Sweeps can be messy.

While trying to find them, I stumbled upon a strange door.

Crow <Billy>: "It said, 'Employees Only'."
Joel: We now take you back to the Drawing of the Three...

I used my expertise in explosives to blow open the door,
and found a strange hole. I entered it, and found myself here,
3 years ago."

Crow: I met this white rabbit that kept bitching about being late
 but this blonde chick chased him away....
Tom: Five arrests and three trials later...
Joel: Why'd you have to remind the author about these characters
 anyway?
Tom: I didn't think it'd get THIS tedious!

Magus drew a picture of a strange crest on a piece of paper and showed
it to Erick. "It wouldn't happen to look like this, would it?"

Mike <Erick>: "No, I believe it was tartar control."
Tom: That man's got a future in composite sketches.
Crow: I hear he signed as a free agent to "America's Most Wanted".

"Yes! Exactly like that!"
"Well, here," Magus handed Erick a pendant. "This makes it *much*
easier to open the doors."

Crow <Erick>: "Wow, a new blasting cap!"
Joel <Magus>: "You're not supposed to blow it up!"
Tom <Magus>: "Or you could just yell 'Open Sesame!', whatever turns you
 on."

"Oh. I wouldn't want to go home. I had nothing to live for. My
girlfriend was killed by robots when we were looking for food.

Mike <Erick>: "That'll teach her to get robot rump roast."
Crow: Silver Sharks forever!  Woohoo!!
Tom: Never get between a robot and his food.

The odd thing is, Sandra only happens to be my Girlfriend's
great-great-great-grandmother!"

Mike: Meaning that Erick, for revenge, will completely burn his old
 girlfriend's genes.  Whatta guy.
Tom: Coincidence?  Read the book.

"Guess what? You kill Lavos, and none of that happens."
"Wait a minute, I happen to know something about mucking about in
time. 

Joel: Him and Q had a brief but bitter affair.
Mike: Flyfishing in the fabric of space and time... they caught a lot
 of tachyons, that's for sure.

If we kill Lavos, won't I never have been born?"
"Uhh... Yeah, you would have been born, just in a better world,

Crow: A material world, and you would be a material girl.
Joel: And what a wonderful world it would be.
All <characters, singing>: "We are the world... we are the future..."

and I don't suppose you would make the trip here, but, no mutants in
2300 AD."

Tom: Sorrrrrryyy, Koban.  Goool-gul!

Sandra decided to change the subject. "When I was infected by the
parasite, I tried to kill myself by going to the desert without food
or water."

Mike <Sandra>: "I rode a horse with no name, if I recall..."
Crow <Sandra>: "Unfortunately, I hit an oasis every ten miles.  Just my
 luck."

"That's nothing. Crono *was* Killed."
"WHAT?" Crono said.
"And he doesn't remember!"

Tom: Another case of a corpse developing Alzheimers....
Joel <Marle>: "But watch this when I shine a flashlight in his eyes."
Crow <Crono>: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Mike <Lucca>: "Well, actually it was a doll of Crono that got fried. But
 we use that story to impress the yokels."

"Anyway," Sandra said, desperate to return to the subject, "For some
reason, my body ended up fusing to the sand. 

Joel <Author>: "Because... because... uhh... it just did, 'kay?"
Mike <Sandra>: "That's the last time I take an acetylene torch with me
 into the desert!"
Tom <Sandra>: "It was almost like I was... quickly sinking into the
 sand!  Yeah, I was trapped by that whatchamacallit quick sinking sand
 stuff!"

As a result, I can turn my body into sand, make my skin as rough as
sandpaper, and attack my enemies with a sandstorm. 

Crow <Sandra>: "They also call me when a bridge needs its paint
 stripped off."
Tom <Sandra>: "Rub me all over your deck for a smooth professional
 finish."

That's why people call me 'SandStorm,' in fact!"
"So," Rei questioned again, "What's *your* story, Billy?"

Joel <Billy>: "I'm Billy and I wanna be a hero!"
Tom: Here's hoping he says "To Build a Fire".

"My parents were a human and a monster," Began Billy, "who met in a
monster village, and shortly after I was born, the village was
destroyed by humans. 

Tom <Rei>: "But I thought Mink starred in Dragon Half!"
Joel: Proving who the real monsters were in the end.
Mike <Billy>: "Beastor and Chuckie sold us out to Mr. Hinkle!"

I was left with a magical sword and some black magic, and I 
grew up to be a good swordsman. Oh, and call me KnightShade,
okay?"

Joel <Billy>: "It's better than my first name, WindowShade..."
Tom <Billy>: "Cause, you see, 'Billy' always got me beat up in grade
 school and KnightShade sounds all dark and cool and stuff..."

"So, what are your abilities, ladies?" Koban asked.

Mike <Mina>: "I can name all forty-eight states!"
Tom <Rei>: "I can stick forks into light sockets!"
Joel <Lita>: "I have the power to brood over men I shouldn't brood
 over anyway"
Tom <Ami>: "I can calculate the amount of dark matter in the universe!
 No really!"
Crow <Koban>: "Uggh, sorry I asked..."

The senshi told him of their powers, how Mina could fire
Crescent-shaped beams of energy, Ami could attack her enemies with
bubbles and freeze them, 

Tom: For easy storage in any convenience store refrigeration unit.
Joel <Ami>: "I'm the Selling Wizard!"
Mike <Koban>: "Okay, Ami's out!  How about you, Cow-Tails?"

Rei could shoot fire and ward off evil spirits, Lita could summon 
Lightning and fire it at her opponents, and how Serena could 
obliterate an enemy with her Moon Scepter.

Crow: And with this much firepower, they should *theoretically* be able
 to take on any third world country.
Tom <Robo>: "Hey, you're Itsuko Pappadopolous!"
Mike <Rei>: "Shh, I'm undercover right now!"

----

Crow: Okay, there's the dashes... now where are the boulders?
Joel: Holding an avalanche in Rockford's honor?
Crow: Ahh

Later that night...

Mike: Koban, Billy, and Magus are caught as they plan a panty raid
 on the women's compound.
Joel <Koban>: "Whew... okay... now what is it YOU can do, Sailor
 Starmaker?"

Everyone except for Crono and KnightShade was in bed. Serena and Ayla
were snoring loudly, which was giving Marle nightmares.

Mike <Marle>: "Edgar!  Stop it with the drill!  No... not the
 chainsaw!!"
Tom: She shouldn't know about that!
Mike: It's just a fanfic, you really should just relax.

"Can't... Stand it..." She said. Then she screamed.
In the next room, KnightShade was reading the comics section of the
news paper. 

Tom: Billy likes things with pictures on them.
Joel <Billy>: "Hey!  What happened to The Far Side and Wizard of Id?!"

He laughed and said, "That Garfield cracks me up! Hey, what was
that?"

Crow: Binky being shot in the alley?
Tom: The sound of a package being stamped for Abu Dhabi?

He and Crono rushed into the room where the girls were sleeping,
and were blasted by the loud snoring. Together, Serena and Ayla's
snoring packed quite a wallop! 

Joel: But it was disqualified in the fourth round for a low blow.
Crow: Sounds closer to low brow.
Tom: Though it paled in comparison to the chainsaw that is Ami
 Andersen.

KnightShade rolled Ayla over onto her side, and got a punch in
the stomach for his trouble.

Mike: From Akira?
Joel <Akira>: "How about a nice Hawaiian Punch?"
Crow <Billy>: "Sure!"

"Oh well, at least she's on her side."
Magus was awake, looking out of the window at the moon. "I can feel
you, Lavos," he said, 

Tom <Moon>: "TRY LOOKING LOWER!"

"and you can feel me... Awaking is so sweets, is it not? Soon,
Lavos, very soon..."

Joel: I thought parting was sweet sorrow, not 'awaking'.
Crow: Well, not according to Willem vanShakeyspare here...

Lita was also talking in her sleep. "Ohh, Tommy... You really want
me back? ...Of course I'll accept your hand in marriage..."

Joel: I wonder if Lita can feel him near her?
Mike <Lita>: "But I'd rather have it as a trophy, to all the
 men who'd still like to date me..."
Crow: Wonder how many "Tommys" she meets in Tokyo, JAPAN, anyway.

"Talking in her sleep."
"But Shadow,... I beat you fair and square!" This from Koban.

Joel <Koban>: "Now, where's your sense of fair play, Alec?"
Tom: Two snorers, three people talking in their sleep... a
 psychologist would have a field day with this group.
Crow <Freud>: "Annnd... ezzactly how long haff you had zis 
 deluzzion of being, os you zay, a zailor zzcout?"

"What do you mean, FAILED?" Ami.
"Will these interruptions never cease?" Magus said, slightly
peeved at the disruptions to his concentration.

Mike: He should be more peeved at the fact that this scene hasn't
 ended YET.
Tom <Magus>: "They're wasting my acting prowess!"

"Grandpa, I told you never to come in when I'm doing a fire reading."
Rei.

All: ... ... ... SAID.  Rei SAID.
Crow: <Grandpa> All right, already!  Come on, Igor, we're not
 appreciated here!
Joel: Wrong Grandpa, Crow.

"Whatta ya mean my series is canceled? I'm a hit! 

All [chorusing]: "Yes, Ms. Drescher.  We know, Ms. Drescher."

Sailor Moon? She's gonna replace me? Who the heck is Sailor Moon?
Sailor V rules!" Mina.

Joel: So what, all Japanese people talk in their sleep?  Isn't that
 an ethnic slur?
Tom <Mina, singing>: "'Cause I am the champion, my friends..."
Mike <Mina>: "And the original Bubblegum Crisis is the only TRUE
 Bubblegum Crisis!  I mean, a *blond* Nene?!?  Come on!"

"Darien... what do you mean, 'over?'" 
Serena. 

Mike <Serena>: "I wanted them sunny-side up!"
Crow: Hey, she was supposed to be snoring!  I call no fair!
Joel: If only the author gave these girls interesting neuroses, like
 a touch of megalomania or submissive/dominative tendencies...

"You little pink-haired brat! Get back here!"

All: NO!  STAY AWAY!
Tom <Serena>: "Damn you Utena!  You stole my director!"

----

Tom: No, no, just three lines or we'll be arrested for an illegal
 gathering!
Crow: Someone get that hair off of the lens!

Meanwhile deep under the earth, a huge, strange creature had paused in
its long ascent to the surface, listening, afraid.

Joel <Professor Hardwigg>: "Man, I didn't know this journey would be
 so long!"
Crow <Henry>: "Hang in there, Uncle, a few more miles to go!"

"Grr... Noo! Get away! I'll kill you just like your sister! Aaahhh!
Noooooo...."

Crow: Yay!  Get ALL of the Jacksons!  Go after Tito next!
Tom: The Greek god Cronos must be having a bad dream.
Joel: Someone should tell the senshi to lay off the hookah for a while.

====

All [singing]: "The erasers come marching two-by-two, hurrah,
 hurrah..."
Crow: Hey, it's the suicide lane!

I hope you enjoyed reading Sailor Trigger, part 1: a Wrong Turn as
much as we enjoyed writing it. 

Crow: Well, if it charbroiled your soul and panfried your brain, then
 yes.
Mike: Man, what a relief... I thought that thing would never end.
Tom: Stay tuned for Sailor Trigger, part 2: Severe Tire Damage!

Thank you, and good night.

Joel: Don't forget to gratuitize your servant!
Crow: And tip him too!
Joel: Right!  Wait a minute....

Greetz go out to Alanis_Hunter_K, CapnAhab, 

Crow: Alanis_Hunter_K!  Hunting wild Alanises before they strike
 for over ten years!
Mike: ...Queequeg, Starbuck, and the rest of the crew!
Tom <Koban>: "Hey man, catch that whale yet?  Heh heh..."

Claud, CyberSled, Edge64, EvelSizor, Evolver, FuzzBuster, Garjon,
Genji, GrImp, JohnRisser, King_Giott, ]{ipi, KnightShade, 

Joel <Koban>: "Thanks for coming up with such great backstories,
 man!  Couldn't've done it without you!"
Tom: Nobody does light comedy better than JohnRisser!
Mike: And extra special thanks to Jerry Mathers, just for being the
 Beaver.

Lukka, Magus9X, Mecha, MentalMan,

Mike: That's what we're going, man.
Tom: MentalMan?  Isn't that Ed Grimley?

Ranko, Ranma`Saotome, Ryoga, Sheex, SirGolbez, SOM2Freak, 
SouL-CrusheR, Suky, WhiteMage.

Crow: If only "greetz" was a slang word for "letterbombs".
Mike: As long as I'm thanking the whole world wide web, I'd like to
 thank a guy I know named Earl....

PS. Never fear, Sailor Koban the Ninja Kat is here!
Warning: If you don't pay attention, you're head will explode like
that one guy in "Fist of the North Star" and about 7 other guys in the
same film.

Tom: Sounds more like a disclaimer to me.
Crow: Actually, it sounds like a warning that's meant for YOU, Tom.
Tom: Hey!

"You must think my head zips up the back!"

Mike: In that case, your fly is open!

Is this Hematite guy a general, or just a fancy name for a bloodstone?

Mike: A new drug from Pfizer?
Joel: My guess is a juror for Judge Brainitite.
Crow: And the fic degenrates down to random musings... I like it!

It's just that I keep having this dream in which someone calls me
that...

Tom: You mean you're never mistaken for the Cat in the Hat?
Crow: Man, I'm glad this thing's over.
Joel: Let's hit the kitchen, I think there's some RAM chips left...
Crow: Really?  Let's go!
[A crackle from the ceiling, and...]
Dr. F: Not so fast, Fearing-some Foursome... I have another part to
 deliver to you!
Joel: Hey, Magic Voice!  That's not funny!
Dr. F: This won't be either, Joel.  Keep it rolling, Frank!

Sailor Trigger
Part 2 - the Time of Dread

Crow: Aptly named chapter.
Mike: You got that right, I don't think I can take much more of this.
Joel: Now I wish it WAS Magic Voice pulling our legs.
Magic Voice: I could never do that to you, Joel.
Joel: Well, at least we can count on some things in this world, guys.

A Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger crossover fanfic by Sailor Koban
TNK(Koban.tnk@prostar.com)

All: Yes, yes, we've heard it before!
Tom: <whistles the theme to Popeye>
Joel <Koban>: "C&C and spinach are welcome!"

With help from KnightShade(debracras@tislink.net) and
Suky(odonnell@wvi.com).

Joel: Koban named his F1 key "Suky"?
Tom: And the little Word paperclip was Knightshade.

Legal notes:
Chrono Trigger, and all characters derived from it are the property of
Square co., and are used without permission.

Tom: Aww, they're too busy making movies to notice anyway.
Crow <Author>: "So there!  Hmph!"

Sailor moon, and all characters derived from it are the property of
Naoko Takeuchi, and are also used without permission.

Mike: This is not an officially licensed broadcast of Major League
 Baseball.
Joel: No copies may be made without the express drawn consent of Ms.
 Takeuchi.

Red Dragons, and all characters derived from it are the property of
the author, and are used with permission.

Crow <Koban>: "Imagine my surprise when my initial response was 'no'..."
Joel <Koban>: "I just pray that I can do justice to my creations and
 write as close to my canon as possible."

Story notes:

Tom: Sponsored by 3M!  Science, industry, technology... all this and
 Post-Its too!
Crow <Story>: "I hope you enjoy me immensely but if I suck, remember
 I'm at the whim of the author.  I am the Mr. Bill to the author's Mr.
 Hand...."

This story takes place on the world described in Chrono Trigger. For
those familiar with the game, the land is similar to that shown in
1999 AD.

Joel: For those of you unfamiliar with this world... were you really
 planning on going back over what we covered so far?
Mike: For those of you unfamliar with 1999 AD, it's kinda like Fallout
 2.  For those of you unfamilar with Fallout 2, it's somewhat resembles
 'Escape from New York'.  For those unfamilar with 'Escape from New
 York'....

For the senshi, this story takes place sometime between "Treed" and
"Serena times two" in the Sailor Moon R series.

Joel: The score in this series is three games to two, with Sailor
 Moon holding the advantage.  This is Joe Morgan in the booth...

If any characters seem to be out of character, it is entirely my fault
for not knowing quite enough about them.

Tom <Koban> And YOUR fault for not giving me C&C!  So c'mon, folks,
 get it in!
Crow: This is the fortieth hour of the telethon, and still no
 replies...

----

Mike: If fine lines were like fine wines...
Joel: This would be a Mad Dog 20/20.  Thank you.

The next morning, the Senshi, the time travelers, and the Red Dragons
decided to go to Bangor for a sightseeing tour. 

Tom: Bangor?  Maine?
Mike: Meanwhile, the cheese stood alone.
Crow <Mina>: "But we were lookin' to snowmobile and four-wheel!  Take
 us to the north-country, eh?"

They passed an ice cream store, and...
"Rei can I borrow some GP to get some ice cream?" Serena asked.
"No," replied Rei, "We should save our GP."

Joel <Rei>: "I'm planning on investing in a diverse portfolio of oil
 options and utilities."
Tom: Should've just taken investment advice from Robo and Erick.

"Come on, Rei!"
"I said 'no!'"

Tom <Serena>: "Give into the peer pressure, babe!  Next, we can go
 on coke runs and maybe pimp out the rest of the Senshi!"
Crow: Next time on a very special 'Sailor Moon'....

"But-" THWACK! Rei slaped her upside the head. Serena fell backwards
and started bawling.

Crow: She was tether-bawling, actually.
Joel: Boy, this 'fic's really getting to poor Rei.
Tom: Imagine what Rei would do if it was more serious than just asking
 for some money...
Mike: I'm all in favor of stopping Whiny Moon, but this is a bit much.

"Crying like a child," Magus said partly to himself.

Mike: More like tears of a clown.
Crow: ...partly to the boys in the back and partly to the man upstairs.

"Why does everybody hate meee?" Serena whined.

Tom <Serena, singing>: "Don't cry for me, Argentina..."
Joel: All this over *ice cream*.

"Because you're weak!" Magus shouted. "And Lavos eats the weak! 

Joel <Serena>: "Does he start with Monday?"
Crow <Magus>: "He also eats huddled masses yearning to breathe free!"

Shape up while you can!"
"I just wanted some GP for ice cream!"

Mike <Magus>: "And when I say shape up, that doesn't mean a sphere!"

"Then fight a monster!"

Tom: Better take Lita with you, Serena.  She's got experience.
Crow <Serena>: "But I didn't say I wanted cookies, I want ice cream!"
Joel: Fight a monster, get some ice cream.  It's the anime way!

Serena got up and walked away from the town, grumbling.

Mike <Serena>: "Razzin' frazzin'..."
Joel <Serena>: "I'll show them!  I'll walk all the way to New
 Hampshire by myself!"

----

Crow: It's the cast of "A Chorus Line!"
Mike: This fic's definately got the minus touch.

Serena went into the forest just west of Bangor to have some time to
herself. 

Joel <Serena>: "Whose woods are these, I think I know...."
Tom: She's taking the road less traveled.
Crow <Serena>: "Wait a second, what am I doing?! I once got lost in a
 *closet*!"

She walked along thinking until something hit her leg. She
looked down and saw a basketball-sized green creature with a large,
toothy mouth.

Mike <Serena>: "Oscar the Grouch?  How'd you get here?"
Tom <Oscar>: "I smelled some Luna on you, and a bit of Artemis.  Take
 me to your cats!"
Joel: Wrong Oscar, man.
Tom: Heh...

The RolyPoly growled.
"Moon... Crystal... Power!" Serena shouted, transforming into her
abbreviated sailor Fuku. 

Joel: So, her salr.fku.
Mike: Essentially.
Tom: She *became* her outfit?
Crow <Serena>: "Quickly, Rei!  Wear me and I'll give you the powers of
 the moon!   Wait!  No, don't give me to Darien!  NOOOOOO!!!"

Serena pulled out her Moon Scepter. Swinging it, she said, "Moon.. 
Scepter... Elimination!" The scepter shot out thousands of tiny 
sparkles at the RolyPoly.

Crow: An awfully long way to go for photography.
Mike <Serena>: "You'd be perfect for my next motivational poster!"
Joel <Serena>: "Like my technique?  I learned it from multiple viewings
 of 'Bring It On!'"

The sparkles passed harmlessly through the RolyPoly. It bit Serena's
leg, and she screamed in pain.

Tom [laughing]: Well, *that* accomplished a lot...
Joel: Looks like someone will need another tetanus shot.
Crow: Then it bit her knee and she screamed in agony.  Then it bit her 
 thigh and she screamed in discomfort.  Then....

"Get off my leg, you weird little ball-thingy!"

Crow <Serena>: "I like you as a friend!  And this is a PG fic! 
 EEEK!"
Tom: When Popples go bad.

----

Joel: Is it me or are these scenes getting shorter and shorter?
Tom: I avoided the lines by dealing with a scalper.

Koban, who happened to be in the woods meditating at the time, 

All: HOW CONVENIENT.
Mike <Koban>: "HMMMMM.... Ohwhatshouldtheplotbenow.... OOHHMMM...."

heard Serena screaming and ran towards her. He grabbed the 
RolyPoly and killed it with his bare hands. He then bandaged 
Serena's leg. 

Joel: This fanfic sponsored by Ace Bandages!  Wrapping up 
 wounds and Lon Cheneys for over a century!
Tom: Man, Koban's just tearing through this scene like a hot knife
 through butter!
Crow: <Koban> I'm too good to waste a fight scene with a RolyPoly!

A sweat drop rolled down the back of Serena's head as she said, 
"I'd better learn to fight, this is pathetic!"

All: <humming "Eye of the Tiger">
Crow: So much for passive resistance.

Koban was about to reply, "You're right, you can't even handle a
RolyPoly," but he decided not to. 

Mike: Because, at that moment, he felt an itch in his nose that
 needed his utmost attention and a finger or two!
Joel: Instead, he said, "You suck.  Just go find a corner to hide
 in while the REST of us try to save humanity, load."

He was not terribly compassionate towards most people, but he was not
a cruel man.

Tom: Nope, he's the ultra-sensitive new-age protagonist cat!
Crow: Not "cat", "kat".
Tom: Right, of course, how could I forget?
Joel <Koban>: "I AM NOT A BARBARIAN!  I AM A SENSITIVE MALE THAT NEEDS
 LOVE!!!" 

----

Mike: Sailor Trigger.  The only fic that DARES to write sentence
 breaks!
Tom: Looks like somebody was playing Load Runner recently....

Meanwhile, back at the tour of Bangor...

Joel <tour guide>: "Umm, here's the McDonald's... and if you
 look everywhere else, you'll see pine trees.  Thank you for touring
 beautiful Bangor, Maine."

"And this is the main control panel for the dome shield." The tour
guide droned.

Crow <the guide>: "Please don't touch it, or we'll all die horribly
 painful and/or violent deaths. Now, over here we have..."

"So... Boring... ZzzzZz... Huh? Wha?" Mina drowsed.

Mike: If she can't stay awake while *walking*, what chance do we have
 *sitting*?

"Who's idea was it to tour the city's security system, anyway?" Lita
grumbled.

Crow <Marle>: "Well, when someone said 'security', I thought guards!"
Joel: May we rephrase the question?  Whose idea was it to pad the fic?

Lucca paused in her examination of the control panel and said, "I
happen to enjoy learning about complex technological systems."

Tom <Lucca>: "I watched 'Virtuosity' eighteen times to boot!"

"So do I," Ami said, "But I don't interrupt everyone's schedule with
it."

Crow <Lucca>: "Oh yeah?  Then YOU try to build a gun with tenth-century
 parts!"
Tom <Ami>: "Sure!  Once you figure out how you can BITE ME!"
Crow <Lucca>: "Mrroww!"
Tom <Ami>: "Ffft!"

Everything was good and boring until Serena stumbled in, tripped over
a loose floor panel and hit the guard robot's control panel. 

Mike: We're on a collision course with zanyness!

The 12-foot tall robot made some strange scrambled noises, then 
scooped up a couple of people and started juggling while singing a 
part from Wagner's "*the Ring Cycle,*" 

Tom: ...since Serena *obviously* hit the "juggle while singing Wagner"
 button on the control panel.
Crow: Well, it was a special option to keep the kids entertained while
 major actions were taking place.

which would have created a very funny picture for an independent 
observer. 

Joel: However, the U.N. observers were not to be moved.
Mike: Nor was Brain Guy.
Tom <U.N. inspector>: "What does this have to do with a free vote?"

Koban entered the room and, seeing the robot singing and juggling, 
managed to stop himself from laughing long enough to say, "Looks 
like we'd better take this thing off-line."

Tom: In that case, just take out its modem cord!
Joel: He went through three hundred battle phrases before settling
 on that one.

Five transformations and 12 weapon draws later...

Crow <Magus>: "How the HELL did I end up in a skirt?"
Tom <Billy>: "I don't know, but it feels strangely liberating..."
Mike <Rei>: "I can't use a scythe!  Help me!"

Crono and frog ran toward the robot and simultaneously slashed their
swords at the robot when their paths crossed. 

Mike: Also known as the double seppuku slash.
Tom <Robo>: "How come you guys have a grudge against me?  What'd I do?"
Crow: More senseless destruction of defenseless robots.  The poor
 thing was PERFORMING for you, darn it!

Immediately afterward, Ayla jumped and landed on the robot's head, 
spinning like a drill. 

Joel: Hey!  She stole that from Mega Man 3!
Tom: This ain't Shadow Man, Ayla!

All three of them were surprised that the robot had apparently not 
taken any damage.

Mike <Billy>: "How do you know it didn't take any damage?"
Tom <Frog>: "We didn't see any white numbers flash in front of it!"
Crow: Go robot!  Fight the oppressors!

"Mars... Fire... Ignite!" Rei shouted, firing a fireball at the robot.
The fireball richocheted off of the robot's skin and headed right back
at her. 

Joel: Number Ten Express, serving Rei, the robot, and Rei and all
 points between!
Tom [chanting]: "Ro-BOT!  Ro-BOT!  Ro-BOT!"
Crow: Yay!

Robo quickly removed her from the fireball's path. 

Crow: Traitor!  You're letting the human scum LIVE!
Joel: Ahem?

The 17 fighters threw everything they had at the robot, but to no
avail.

Tom [singing]: "There were seventeen fighters but nothin' on..."
Mike: Why don't you throw a MAGNET?
Joel: Why don't you have Jupiter surge it to death?

"We've thrown everything at it but the kitchen sink!" Koban
shouted.

Crow: Aww man, don't tell me...

Magus hurled a kitchen sink at the robot.

Mike: Sorry, buddy, they did it.
Joel <Koban>: "Not our good sink, with the Price-Pfister faucets!"

"I had to say it..."
"I had to do it," Magus responded.

Crow: Finally, someone who doesn't blame the poor Devil.
Tom: So, if these seventeen people cannot beat up a defenseless
 robot, what chance do they have against the final boss?
Joel: Bribery.

The sink hit the robot and knocked open its head, thus exposing the
wiring inside. Akira telekinetically lifted Koban onto the robot's
head. 

Mike: When it started a-buckin' an' a-snortin' like a real steer
 would!
Tom <Koban>: "Yee-HA!  I gotta get me one o' deese mechanical bulls!"

Koban cut the wires with his katana.

Joel: Whoops!  There goes Akira's telekinesis.
Tom <Koban>: "It's a good thing that cats land on their feet!"
Crow <Billy>: "But you're a kat!"
Tom <Koban>: "D'oh!"

"Whoops! Cut the blue wire!"
The robot's eyes went dark, it made a coughing/hiccuping/wheezing
sound and it fell forward at the hips, until its body almost touched
the ground.

Mike: And stretch and two and three and four... work those joints!
Tom: Yet, in his own sad way, the robot still kept reachin' for
 those stars...
Crow, Tom [singing]: "A-ma-zing grace, how sweet the sound..."

Erick looked at the robot and said to the tour guide, "You'd better
fix that. Someone could get hurt."

Crow: Like the poor robot, you heartless fiend!  WAAAAHHHH!!
Mike <guard>: "Oh, a wiseacre. In that case, here's a bill for the
 technology you damaged, you punk kids!"
Joel <Erick>: "Umm... guys, what number has five commas?"
Tom <Koban>: "A number we'll be working to until 3000 AD."
Mike: Feel better with our skit, honey?
Crow: <hic> I think so, Mike... <sniffle>
Joel: Then how about we break for a bit, little buddy?
Crow: O-okay...


---Satellite of Love

  Tom, Crow, and Mike all returned to the desk to wait for Joel and his
idea.  He said that it'd take him a couple minutes to put it together.
Then, the three of them saw Gypsy in a catsuit (more like a rubber tube
sock) and a pair of cat ears, along with whiskers.

  "Whoa, hey, are we doing Failed Pickup Lines again?"

  "No, silly," Gypsy replied, "We're having Koban Konvention I! Mrroww!"

  Crow inquired, "Whatcha supposed to be, Gypsy?"

  "One hundred percent catwoman!" came the answer.

  "As opposed to katwoman?" Crow asked.

  Tom shook his bubbledome.  "She's got a great sense of irony, but she
doesn't know it."

  "Yeah..." Mike started.  "Hmm, wait a minute..."

  Joel came back from offcamera, dressed with fuzzy cat ears and a tail
along with a painted face.  "I'm Koban, and you MUST be superheroes!
Go, get dressed in your costumes, and we shall share stories of our
origins!"

  The human and two bots rushed to the pile of clothes left to the
side as Joel sidled up to Gypsy.  "Hey baby, wanna purr all the way to
my cat dish?"

  "We already did Failed Pickup Lines, Joel!" Magic Voice accused.

  Sheepishly, Joel responded, "Oh yeah... sorry!"

  Meanwhile, the other three came back to the desk.  Mike stepped
forward, wearing a large foam cowboy hat, a yellow shawl, and a bad-
looking belt.  "I am... Coatimundi Man!  I have been blessed with the
sacred powers of the coatimundi due to the fact that I once stepped
on one."

  "And those powers would be...?" Joel trailed off.

  "Uhh... I dunno, Tom and Crow never told me..."

  "Err....great! Glad to have you!" Joel yelled, hitting Mike on the
back.  "If you'd like to bite something, we'd suggest the buffet
table!  And remember, the table itself isn't edible!"  Mike shuffled
off with his belt-tail held up.  "And next... what are you, little
boy?"

  "Hello, mister!" Tom Servo squeaked.  He was dressed in a garish
white-sequined shirt and he attempted to put a pair of boxer shorts on
his hoverskirt.  "I'm here to be help and to have assist with
everyone!  I'm Split Infinitive Boy!"

  "Oh wow, I see your powers already... I bet you talk down many a bad
guy before he's about ready to commit a crime and annoy the rest, don't
you little boy?  How'd you get this way?" Joel asked.

  "Too few grammar classes, I guess..." Tom replied.

  "Well, off with you, you scamp!"

  Tom made a whooshing sound.  "Split Infinitive Boy!  I'm here to the
protect!" he called as he also made his way off-screen.

  Meanwhile, Crow appeared from the side to speak with Joel/Koban.  He
had a suitcoat and a rumpled white shirt, along with a tie.  His horn-
rimmed glasses didn't seem to be on straight, either.  "I, good sir,
am the Noble Hostage!"

  Joel rubbed his chin, and a few flecks of facepaint came off.  "What
is it that you do, Noble Hostage?"

  "I cower in fear as the bank/convenience store/gas station that I'm
currently in gets robbed.  I can slither into any hiding spot, no
matter how small it is, and my luck is the worst of all."

  "How did you get like this, Noble Hostage?"

  "I think it was that radioactive ant that bit me.  No, couldn't be
it, all I got from that was hives.  That mutagen that spilled all over
me?  No, that cleared up with aloe vera..." Crow mused.  "Maybe it was
because I came from the planet Fraidus... no, that just gave me a bad
rash when I came through the stratosphere... I'll come up with it, I
promise..." Crow trailed off as he left in the same direction as the
other two did.

  Just then, the red light started flashing.  "Yeah, sirs?" Joel asked
as he hit the button.

---Deep Thirteen

  A figure with a LONG nose appeared on the screen.  He was wearing a
large backpack like one of the Ghostbusters, and there were three tubes
intertwined on both his left and right arm.  "Have room for another
superhero?  This has ALWAYS been my number-one dream!" Frank said
happily.

  "And you are?

  "First, my powers!  I have the power to spray soda in any direction I
feel!  I have the power to charge kids two dollars for liquid
refreshment!  You are talking to... THE SODA JERK!"  Frank squirted
some soda from his right arm-squirter into his mouth.  "Mmm, rock-n-
rye!"

  "I'm... speechless," Joel stuttered.

  "I am a secret to the ordinary run-of-man.  But still, I carry on,
the protection of poor defenseless people with a squirt of cream soda
is my goal!"  Frank aimed his left arm towards the monitor, and a
bit of brown liquid came out.  "Darn this pack, it's on the fritz..."
Frank pounded on his backpack, and suddenly a large splash of the brown
liquid sprayed all over the computer.  Frank touched one of the
keyboard keys, and tasted it.

  "Aww crap, I got Coca-Cola all over the keyboard... hope Dr. F
doesn't kill me!  Where's the buffet, Joel?"

  Joel looked thoughtful, and then his eyes gleamed.  "Well, if you
bring us down to Earth, Frank, you can have some..."

  "Okay, just a second..."  Frank tapped on the keyboard, but to no
avail.  "Come on, you stupid keyboard, work for me!  Come on, I'm your
friend, aren't I?"


  Just then, the satellite's lights started flashing and the satellite
itself shuddered.

  "Oh no, you hit the wrong key!  We've got FIC SIGN!"  Joel/Koban
yelled.

===

  One more part to go... will anything interesting happen?  Yeah, you're
probably right, but have some faith!  "Z"


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