DB Sommer wrote:

And cutting through even more of the backlog. Thank goodness most of the
pieces aren't terribly long.

 That sounds like a challenge!

lumping to his feet in the otherwise deserted corridor, its gleaming
steel and cold empty stretches echoing.

Run on, I think

 Will adjust.

Ah ha. So he's being attacked by a herd of lemmings. They really are
unbeatable, since they have no regard for their own lives. It's true.

 That... could be done, yes...

He blinked, staring at the slip of paper on the table, suddenly
frighteningly aware of the eyes on him. He had gotten a pass. Not Kuno,
with his wealth, nor Nabiki with her grades, or anyone else... but him.

Ranma; Thank god! Sorry all ofyou are toast, but better you than me.

 Heh.

Ranma swallowed involuntarily, taking the note as Nabiki pressed it into
his chest. "Pick one, and make it a good choice, Ranma."

"I can't believe you picked me!" Akari squealed in delight.

"Always had the hots for you, I but I didn't want Ryouga ripping my balls
off and feeding them to me for stealing away another girl her fell for, if
ya know what I mean," Ranma explained.

 Ranma snorted, "Plus, he can't exactly catch us, here."

Ukyou nodded. "He's probably going to choose Akane."

Probably.

 Now... you've read my stuff, Mr. Sommer. :p

 I like to keep my readers on their toes.

"Yeah..."

Nothing like keeping everyone in suspence.

 It's a hobby. Might be a little OOC for Ranma here, though. Hmm...

24 hour karaoke: It was not a pretty sight.

 ...

Had he chosen her?

Gee, since she's on the ship and has her suitcase with her, you think that
would be assumed.

 And yet...

knew, none of the other girls had pets...

Not counting Mousse's relationship to Shampoo.

 That's harsh.

Ranma; A giant secured door. Didn't you read the sentence before your
dialogue?

 Now you're giving me Tron flashbacks.

Akane; But I'm not a lesbian. I have no interest in Ukyou that way.

 Ukyou: Got some SoD man water.

 Akane: Sold!

Hmm. They must have gotten hot water, broke through the door, and moved fast
if they think they can catch up to him.

 Or something's actively slowing him down.

Ukyou nodded, darting a single glance back at the ship and its promise
of safety. "We'll find him, then... then..." she trailed off, not having
the slightest idea what she would do afterwards.

Die a fiery death?

 Gosunkugi: Sounds like a plan!

With the four foot long spear protruding from his back, you think they would
have been tipped off sooner as to how bad it was. :)

 Ranma's not the best with hints, you know.

"You owe me," he announced. "I gave up what I got for you, and you...
you owe me bein' safe. So... go." He coughed, turning to the panel on
the side of the door, and smashing the protective glass covering a large
red button.

A voice over the intercom boomed. "This ship will self-destruct in one
minute."

"Damn, wrong button!" Ranma cursed.

 Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo: Ranma no baka!

Ranma's eyes drifted closed, and he nodded to himself weakly, the
feeling of cold settling into his bones. "I win..."

Ranma: Now I got rid of all of them, and don't have to marry any of them!
Hahahaha! I win.

 I was never going to outright say that, but... yeah.

It's a one-shot! It's a prologue! It's a one-shot _AND_ a prologue!

Heard it was to the Tenchi megaxover or something. Hopefullly will get to it
someday. As to my reaction, pretty shifty on Ranma's part. I approve. Didn't
detect any spelling errors, though there was very little detail in this to
add flavor to it. I think it would be worthwhile to flesh out some of the
background and scenes in a revision. Aside from that it looked good.

 Well, if it'll help you, you don't need to C&C Process of Elimination. :p

 It's left bare (ish) for anyone who wants to use it to flesh out as they see fit. Thanks again for the C&C!

D.B. Sommer