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The FFML Refugee List


This interlude takes place (chronologically) between chapters 11 and 12. And
it's not the chapter 12 that I promised last time. I'm going to post that
today as well.  :)

Disclaimer time: Rumiko Takahashi, Shogagukan, Kitty and Viz Communications
own Ranma 1/2. Hideaki Anno, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Gainax and ADV Films own
Neon Genesis Evangelion.

A big thanks to my pre-readers for this chapter: James Merritt,
Merc-for-Hire and Thomas Hackwood.

Corwin (ely7@inter.net.il or corwin@virtuallyjeannie.com)
http://www.virtuallyjeannie.com/ranma.html

* Previous chapters can also be found at:
http://members.xoom.com/phu_lam/index.htm
http://tannim.anifics.com/rfics.html
http://ranmaxovers.tripod.com

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A Couple of Angels

Chapter 11b

"Does she still cry at nights?" Shinji asked his brown-haired companion.

"No," Hikari slowly drawled out, tapping her lips with a finger. "At least,
I don't think so."

Shinji sighed loudly in relief.

"That's good to hear."

"You... you care a lot about Ayanami, don't you?" Hikari asked, biting on
her lower lip as she anxiously waited for his answer.

"Yes. She's one of my friends," Shinji replied absentmindedly.

Hikari stopped in her place, asking carefully, "Is a friend all that she is
to you?"

The boy took a few steps, before he noticed that his companion remained
behind.

"Rei's a female friend, but nothing more."

It was Hikari's turn to sigh in relief.

"I'm glad. I... I know it's wrong to feel so happy, when there's so much
suffering around us, but..."

Walking over to his date, Shinji put his arms around her in a gentle hug.

"No, Hikari-chan. It's hardly wrong to enjoy life. Hell, just take a look at
me! I pilot an Evangelion just to hear a few words of gratitude from the
person I hate the most in the world..."

"It's ironic," Hikari murmured, leaning into his embrace.

"No," he replied, looking into the distance dejectedly.

Hikari nodded to herself at his words, before remembering something that
she'd meant to ask him on their date.

"Shinji, did you know that Rei came home with a nasty bruise yesterday? Did
she get hurt during the last Angel attack?"

"No; at least, I don't think so. She looked fine to me when I saw her at the
debriefing at my father's office. Asuka and I left together, because he
asked her... to... stay..."

Looking at his date's face, Shinji saw his shock at the mere concept
mirrored in her hazel eyes.

"Would he do that?!" Hikari finally blurted out, unable to keep quiet any
longer.

"I wish I knew. The only ones who know my father enough to answer that are
Fuyutsuki Kozo, Dr. Akagi and Rei. My own father... I can't even tell if my
own father is abusive or not!"

 "Shinji... maybe it's for the best. What if he is... and you had to stay
with him for that decade..."

"Like Rei probably did?" Shinji said bitterly.

"Y-Yes."

Shinji took a step backwards, not meeting any resistance from Hikari.
Spotting a few toy robots in a nearby store's window, the boy walked over to
them, observing the mecha models intently.

"The first time I was brought to Nerv, Hikari, the Third Angel was attacking
Tokyo-3. When I refused to pilot Unit 01, my father had Rei wheeled in."

"Wheeled in?"

"She... she was in terrible shape."

Shinji shook his head, leaning it tiredly against the cool glass.

"Rei could hardly move, and she was bleeding through her bandages. And
father... that bastard still ordered her to get inside the Evangelion!"

"But you protected her," Hikari stated, not moving from her spot.

"Not by choice. I... I was so scared... everyone expected something from
me..."

Shinji's breath came out in short bursts, and his entire body shook as he
spoke quietly.

"Do you know what it's like to be all alone in a crowd, Hikari? That's what
I was going through. And the EVA... it protected me! It moved its arm and
protected me, sending the debris that were about to crush me at my father."


Shinji punched the store's window, bruising his knuckles in the process; his
hand lacking the power to do any real damage.

"I gave up. I wanted to be accepted, and so I went inside the EVA... inside
the only thing that protected me... cared about me..."

"Shinji... you don't have to..."

"What I felt inside Unit 01, when I was going in shock..."

Shinji squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching and unclenching
sporadically.

"After regaining my memories, I never told anyone what happened."

"Shinji, maybe you should talk about this to a professional," Hikari said
soothingly, walking over to Shinji and putting one of her hands on his
shoulder. "I'm just a class president, and..."

"I think we're all beyond help, Hikari. What can I tell that shrink you want
me to meet? That I saw my dead mother in Evangelion Unit 01, as I was lying
there on the brink of death?"

Shinji laughed bitterly, turning around to lean against the glass window.

"I, Rei, Ranko... maybe even Asuka... I honestly don't think we'll ever be
normal, when... when this is all over. Hell, I'm not sure we'll all even
make it to the finish line!"

Hikari recoiled from him, fear evident in her eyes.

"Shinji, you're starting to scare me."

"Don't tell me you haven't seen the signs, Hikari. All three of the girls
that happen to be Evangelion pilots are suicidal. That doesn't look very
encouraging to me."

"S-Suicidal? Shinji, are you..."

The boy shook his head slowly in response.

"No. Whether it's because I'm a guy, or because I've always tried to ignore
everything around me, being as passive as I can... I don't know. Ironically
enough, you've changed all that. You've finally given me a reason to live,
rather than simply exist."

Blushing, Hikari covered her face with her right hand.

"Aww, you always know just the right thing to say to a girl."

"It's quite easy to say the truth," Shinji replied with a small smile.

Sobering up, Hikari grabbed her boyfriend's hands, looking at him
pleadingly.

"Shinji... promise me that you won't turn out like the other pilots. Promise
me that you'll live on!"

"Don't worry about this, Hikari. The other pilots don't have what I have...
an anchor, someone to rely on to always bring me back. In short, you."

"Shinji..."

"So, you see, everything will be fine - well, what passes for 'fine' here,
anyway - as long as you don't leave me."

Her voice trembling, Hikari spoke, "Oh, Shinji, I'll never leave you!"

"Even if I crack under the pressure eventually? Or become some helpless,
mutilated cripple?"

Hikari shook her head expressively, hugging Shinji.

"Well, enough of this. The topic is starting to depress me... not the best
way to spend a date, is it?"

"Shinji... don't Rei, Ranko and Asuka have... anchors... of their own?"
Hikari asked suddenly.

The boy thought about her question for a few moments before answering.

"I suppose Kaji is Asuka's link to life, in a way. And Rei... Rei hasn't
been acting very alive recently, has she?"

"And Ranko?"

"No one's seen her in over a month now. At least, not that I've heard of.
Father must've given up on her, since I've heard from Misato that Nerv is
looking for replacements for Ranko."

Hikari blinked at the news.

"If you need pilots..."

"No. Please take my word on this. Piloting Evangelions only brings you
misery," Shinji said bitterly, cutting her off.

"Are you thinking of Toji's little sister again?" Hikari asked, recognizing
the haunted expression on Shinji's face.

"Am I that easy to read?"

"Sometimes... to me."

Shinji sighed, his shoulders visibly slumping.

"Yes. She got hurt pretty bad because of me. I know that there's nothing I
could do to prevent that... that is, my mind knows that. My heart, on the
other hand, continues to carry the guilt."

Hikari's hand brushed by Shinji's cheek, gently wiping away the tear that
appeared there.

"I keep thinking about Ranko's last words to me. She cared for that child -
a little girl she'd never met in her life... a relative of the person who'd
pestered her the most ever since she first joined our class..."

Shinji hung his head in shame.

"I'm a bastard, Hikari. I won't even go and visit a little, injured girl
that wants to meet me. My father and I... we're quite the pair... a pair of
bastards..."

Hikari gasped at his words, and grabbed both of his cheeks in her hands,
raising his head and making Shinji look into her eyes.

"No! I don't know your father, Ikari Shinji-kun, but you are the nicest,
most gentle person I've ever met! Instead of all this self pity, how about
just getting off your butt and going to see Toji's sister?!"

"I... my guilt..."

"It's your obligation to go and visit that little girl, Ikari Shinji-kun!"
Hikari exclaimed passionately, her eyes burning with conviction. "You must
go and apologize to her! I told you that I didn't believe you and your
father were the same... now it's up to you to prove me right!"

"You're right," Shinji said quietly.

"Just ask Toji to join him the next time he goes..."

"I said that I agree with you, Hikari-chan," Shinji repeated with a smile
dancing on his lips.

"Oh," Hikari said intelligently, before perking up. "Great! Do you want me
to come with you? Maybe I can make some cookies..."

"No, that's all right," Shinji cut her off. "This is something I've got to
face on my own... with Toji's help, that is."

Seeing the disbelieving expression on Hikari's face, Shinji asked
defensively, "What?! It's only appropriate that I go with him, like you
suggested yourself."

"I know, Shinji. I was just teasing you," Hikari replied with a smile, as
she tapped him lightly on his nose.

Laughing at her antics, Shinji surprised Hikari by leaning in and planting a
light kiss on her lips.

--------------------------------------------------

End of Chapter 11b.



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