don't forget a disclaimer. ^_*

You really need to think of a title before posting.
^_^
You've got several nice underlying themes:
Pain, memories, loss, selfishness, lies . . .
For instance:

The Selfishness of Memory

Painful Love

Memories of Lies

etc, etc. I generally start with a working title, then
let the theme of the story, as it progresses, suggest
a final title to me. IMO it's better to _wait_ for a
title that will grab a potential readers interest. I
almost didn't read this one, which would have been a
shame. :(
I'd hate to think people missed reading this because
it lacked a title. ^_*


It's an excellent story. Well written, superb dialogue
and descriptions. VERY professionally done.
However . . .I don't really see any of the Ranma cast
in any of the characterizations. It's a GOOD,rather
noir, story, but only the names remain from the
original, IMO. That said---- I only wish I could write
this well.^_O Really, really good.

 Some rough spots and places where the story seems a
bit stilted. For instance, the inital bit between
Ukyou and Akane seemed a little contrived. I think it
was the mini-spatula that destroyed the mood for me.
IMO it wasn't needed and seemed very artificial.  But,
overall, those are minor points. IMO you might want to
put an [ALT] label on it.  This is _well_ worth
continuing. A really wonderful story.



=====
"When I get a little money, I buy books;
 And, if any is left, I buy food and clothes."-Erasmus

"A man is a small thing, and the night is large 
and full of wonders." -Lord Dunsany

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