--
Jack and Jill Staik
(Yes, we know...)
http://home.earthlink.net/~jstaik1043/otaku.htm
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: owd09.txt
DISCLAIMER: We couldn't help it; it was a full moon and
there was romance in the air!
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Ranma 1/2: "Our Wedding Day" pt. 9
by Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
--------------------
When Ranko had gotten home that evening, she was still
annoyed and high-strung concerning the meeting with the
doctor's mother.
Married. Children.
Thinking she and Tofu were doing naughty things involving
chocolate! She was only eating some chocolate pudding and it
dripped on the bed. Not her fault the old bat thought it was
naughty. Mama Tofu has a dirty mind.
Ranma and Akane were watching TV while Ranko finished her
dinner quietly and wandered outside. Ranma became worried;
curiosity being one of the Hibiki-spawn downfalls, he
followed her outside.
"Ko-chan?" he whispered.
He searched around the yard for her, looking around trees
and statues. He never realized how large the Tendo yard was
until he tried to look for someone.
"Ko-chan?"
A black shoe landed on top of his head. He pulled it off and
looked up in the tree.
"Well, Saotome," Ranko murmured. "Trying to get me alone, eh?"
He chuckled, hopping into the tree to sit next to her on the
branch.
"We haven't talked for a while, huh?" he asked.
Both stared up at the moon for a long silent moment, just
sitting, doing nothing.
"Tofu-sensei's mother came for a visit."
"Gaahh!" he sighed. "Don't tell me she - "
"Yep."
"Poor Ko-chan," he drew his arms around her waist and lay his
head on her shoulder. She held him, laying her head on top of
his.
"Seems destiny conspires to drive me insane."
"Nah," Ranma replied. "Remember when destiny conspired to
make me marry Ukyo?"
"Conspiracy with indigestion; that was Genma's doing. This
is different."
"
*Did* you love Doctor Tofu?"
Ranko didn't answer. She rubbed his back, inhaling his scent
gently.
"Ko-chan?"
"Part of me did - and still does. But I've always been in love
with you, Ranma-sama," she breathed. "You were the only person
in my world and you became the center of it. I never knew
loving someone
*outside* of them was frightening. What I feel
for you is much stronger, closer, than with anyone else in this
Universe."
Ranma nodded, hugging her closer. "I loved you as much, Ko-chan.
All the love I had ever had was from you the last year. I'm so
afraid of being alone."
"You're not alone," she replied, running a hand down his cheek.
"We'll never be alone. We'll always have each other, ichunnohito."
"Suki da," he whispered, kissing her cheek.
"Ai shiteru," she breathed, darting her tongue out to lick his
cheek.
Their mouths met without thought, a short, soft kiss. Both
pulled away in alarm. Ranma lept down from the tree and
dashed into the house. Ranko lept to the roof and disappeared
into her bedroom window.
Akane stepped from behind the tree, a pulverized rock in her
clenched fist.
Akane had watched them. She wasn't jealous of the red-haired
husband-stealer in the least little bit, she told herself, not
at all.
But something had to be done now that it progressed into a
kiss. She couldn't let her husband be the rebound relationship
for his emotionally-vulnerable twin. After all, he was such a
wimp in romantic things, he'd probably be unable to stop her.
So, Akane Saotome must come to his rescue!
<Mental image: RANMA bound and helpless, being dragged off to
a love motel by RANKO. RANKO is wearing fishneck stockings and
a black dress slit thigh high and cut to the navel.>
<RANMA: Eek! Help! Save me!>
<RANKO: Nyah-hah-hah! You're mine now!>
<AKANE jumps out in an outfit similar to the magical battle dougi.>
<AKANE: I'll save you, Ranma!>
<AKANE beats RANKO up and unties RANMA. RANMA jumps into her arms,
kissing her.>
<RANMA: My heroine!>
She felt a matchmaking might be in order; after all, Ranko and
Tofu-sensei made such a beautiful couple.
* * * * * * * * * *
Hiro was getting ready to rest whan a knock came on his
bedroom window.
He glanced out, and got the shock of his life.
"Kuno-sempai??"
"Yes, my trusty lieutenant. It is I, your team Captain."
Hiro Watanabe, second-in-command of the Furinkan High Kendo
Club, gazed at the figure before him in a bizarre combination
of amusement, disgust, and disappointment.
"Oh, my Captain!"
"Worry not, my trusted friend!" Kuno proclaimed, holding high
a pair of panties. "For while I may have been lax in my duty
toward the team, I have found the path to true manly power!"
Hiro shook his head sadly. <Oh my friend, that you would be
reduced to this.>
"Now I require your assistance!"
Hiro looked at the bag of undergarments Kuno carried, at the
...
*THING* ... that used to be a bokken in his hand. "Um ...
I don't think -"
"I need information! Since the evil sorcerer Tofu kidnapped
my faithful man-servant, I have no knowledge of the fair,
buxom, wide-hipped Goddess Ranko Saotome!"
Hiro exhaled in relief. "For a minute I was afraid you were
going to ask me to help you steal my sister's panties."
"Already done. Do you know anything?"
He shook his head. "Just that she resumed school. The only
other thing I heard is that Ranma and Akane are getting
married in a couple of weeks."
"WHAT?!?" Kuno cried. "They are not wed yet?!?"
"Well, you see -"
"OH FRABJOUS DAY!! CALLOO!! CALLAY!!" Kuno chortled in his
joy. "Then I may yet possess both the fierce and passionate
Akane Tendo
*and* the fiery Ranko Saotome!!" He jumped out
the window. "I AM COMING TO SAVE YOU, MY LOVELY DARLINGS!!"
Hiro shivered as he shut the window. "Dear gods, what sort
of freak has he become ... wait a second. What did he mean
'already done'??"
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko had changed into a robe and had taken her nightclothes
with her as she went to take a bath. Nodoka invited her, so
she needed some time off from thinking about 'could-have-
beens' relating to all the men in her life (both of them).
As she approached the bathroom door in the dark hall, she
felt a presence enter the window behind her. Her agility
brought her fist around and socked the intruder, sending him
arse-over-teakettle on the floor.
"Who the hell are you?" she demanded.
"You have to hide me, Ko-chan!" a familiar voice implored
her.
She flicked the hall light on and saw Tofu sprawled on the
floor, shaking in fear.
She slapped him with her nightclothes.
"You hentai!" she yelled, still hitting him. "Scaring the
crap out of me like that!"
"Gomen nasai! Just hide meeeee!" he cried, diving into the
hamper in the bathroom.
"Snivelling coward," she muttered.
"Damn right!" he replied, muffled by clothing.
She turned around and went into Nabiki's room; if there was
anyone to help her male-bash, it was Biki.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nodoka stepped out of the furo and dried herself, wrapping
a robe around her slight frame. She softly sang an old song
to herself as she went from the laundry room to the hallway.
"Ko-chan?" a voice asked behind her.
She turned to see a man pop out of the laundry hamper, a
pair of panties laying on top of his head.
Nodoka screamed.
Everyone poured out of their rooms. Nabiki and Ranko first,
followed by Kasumi with a romance novel in hand and then
Ranma and Akane, both pulling on robes. Sasuke appeared as
well, wearing an NBC suit while he cleaned out Happosai's
old room.
Nodoka ran out of the bathroom and into her son's arms,
crying hysterically.
"What's wrong, mom?" he asked.
She blubbered incoherently, pointing back into the laundry
room.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Saotome-san! I thought you were Ko-chan!"
Doctor Tofu said as he appeared in the door (still wearing
the panties on his head).
"This is different," Nabiki commented.
"What the hell did you do to my mother??" Ranma asked.
"Nothing!" he cried. "I never got a chance!"
<Uh-oh,> Tofu thought after the words left his mouth. <That
did
*not* sound right.>
Ranko slammed her forehead into her palm. "I dated a major
pervert."
Akane and Ranma's battle auras lit the hall, and Nabiki and
Sasuke both went to hide. Kasumi buried her nose in her book
and wordlessly went back to her room before her pheromones
zapped Tofu's brain. "I saw nothing - I saw nothing - I saw
nothing - " she chanted like a mantra.
"You're going to die, you pervert!" Ranma announced.
Ranko sighed, and grabbed Ranma by the ear, pulling him back.
"Leave the freak alone. If he wants to hide in the laundry
basket, let him."
Nodoka regained a bit of composure and asked, "Why are you
hiding in the laundry hamper, anyway?"
"Ex-girlfriend chasing me."
Ranma nodded. "Been there, done that."
Akane elbowed him.
Tofu looked around, alert again, and dove back into the hamper.
"Remember: you never saw me." And slammed the lid back down.
"Like we'd admit it," Akane said.
"I need some aspirin," Nodoka stated.
"Me, too," Ranma added.
Ranko went into the laundry room and kicked the hamper.
"Coward!"
As her husband and his mother went downstairs for the aspirin
and Ranko stomped off to her room, Akane approached the hamper
and tapped on it.
"Who is it?"
"Yuko Moriyama."
"Ichiro's not here; I thought you two broke up?"
Akane blinked and opened the hamper. "Doctor Tofu! You're
being a jackass!"
He popped his head up slightly, a bra covering his head now.
<Must be Ko-chan's,> Akane thought. <One cup covers his head
like a cap.>
"I'm sorry for you to see me like this, Akane-chan, but I
fully admit I am scared to death of Ina finding me! She came
into my office and went into the Whip-Mistress routine - "
Akane smiled indulgently. "Uh-huh."
"It's true! I barely escaped alive!"
"Forget about her. Do you love Ko-chan?"
He quieted, sitting back down in the hamper, lowering his
face. "Yes. With all my soul. And I screwed up what we had.
Gods, how I screwed up!"
Akane knelt down and held his face in her hands. "Listen to
me, Tofu-san. I know Ko-chan is still in love with you."
He piku'ed a bit. "She is?"
"Yes!" Akane said in her strongest voice. "And you have to
show her that you love her, too! You
*MUST* win her back!"
He stood up out of the hamper in heroic pose (spoiled
somewhat by the bra on his head). "I shall!"
"Good. You're on your own," she finished, getting up.
He shrunk back into the hamper. "She's moody. She could kill
me right now."
"Oh that. Just wait until the Midol kicks in."
He sighed, pulling the lid on top of him. "While it helps the
symptoms, it doesn't affect the mood-swings. Call me out in
five days."
She reached in, pulled him out one-handed, and dragged him
down the hall. "You are going to make up with Ranko right now!
You are going to march in there and demonstrate how manly and
macho you can really be!" Kicking open Ranko's door, she threw
him in overhanded. "NOW GET TO IT, YOU WORM!"
Tofu scrambled to his feet and jumped for the door, but Akane
had already nailed it shut from the outside.
"THAT should get them to talking!" she crooned to herself as
she went back to her room to await her husband.
"What are
*you* doing here?!?" Ranko snapped.
"Well, in an existential sense -" Tofu began.
"I mean in my room!"
"Akane threw me in here!" he said.
"Why would she do that?"
He slumped. "Because I'm a weak, spineless jellyfish."
"Sounds about right," she snorted. "You sleep on the floor."
"As you wish." He bowed.
"And take my bra off your head!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Cologne had two more nights. Time enough to work on more
dreams for the Saotomes.
She squinted as she peered into the scrying bowl. Ranma was
curled up next to Akane, freshly worked out and in the
lassitude of open consciousness; time for another enchantment.
Cologne wrapped the red hair around the black, murmuring
incoherent Chinese and Greek. Simultaneously, she evoked a
memory of her girlhood, when she was more attractive and ...
adventerous; a little escapade that made an eighteen-year-
old Happosai's hair turn white for three days, and should be
suitable for arousing two teenagers (assuming they survived
the experience).
She turned the watery image to Ranko, the girl sleeping
soundly, if with trouble. Worrying too much. Cologne twisted
the black hair back on the red, binding the two tightly
together.
The image split to show both, and the enchantment laced around
them, weaving through their bodies and touching their souls.
<A blur of purple and blonde, highlighted by flesh tone,
becoming only a mass of colors and movement ... then figures
could be seen, a redheaded girl and a blackhaired boy.>
<They caress and kiss, gently at first, then gentleness
became savage ravishing. Bruising and biting and animalistic
humping. Tearing of clothes with teeth, rude pinches and
grabbing. Building pressure with wetness and hardness.>
Cologne observed the Saotomes' reactions in their sleep;
Ranma thrusting against Akane's hip and Ranko writhing in
her bed.
She concentrated the attack on the boy, steering him to
pursue the object in his dreams rather than the girl in his
bed. So much easier to get him into the redhead's room.
<Penetration, both raping the other as he keeps up with her,
biting and squeezing - >
Both awoke in their respective beds, sweating and aroused
beyond return. Must have someone! NOW!
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranma grabbed Akane.
"Hmm?" Akane exclaimed. "Ranma?"
Then, "RANMA!!"
Then, "Oh RANMA!!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko turned over, finding the doctor sleeping on the floor.
He was sprawled on his back, still in his clothes.
She slipped over the side and sat on his hips, kissing him
deeply.
He awoke with a start.
He murmured her name against her lips, around her persistant
tongue. Her hands traced down his throat and his chest,
shoving his shirt off.
She broke the kiss and ground her pelvis down on his. "I
want you so much, Ono my love."
"Huh?" he asked.
Ranko sat up and pulled her tank-top off, her breasts
breathing freely without the restraint. She grabbed his
wrists and placed his hands on her chest. "Please take me,
Ono-chan, make me a real woman!"
"Oh, one of those dreams again," he muttered, massaging her
breasts.
"No dream," she leaned closer to his face, licking his chin
and lips. "I just want you. I just want to screw your brains
out. Any questions?"
Tofu was in awe of how she felt ... more vivid, more real,
more <chuckle> delicious.
"Are you ready, Ko-sama?"
"Take me!"
* * * * * * * * * *
An undetermined amount of time later, Ranma and Akane held
each other as they let the world return back to its normal
pace.
Akane raised her head, then giggled and smiled.
"Mmm," Ranma murmured. "What izzit, anata?"
"Sounds like Ko-chan and the doctor are at each other at last,"
she replied, kissing his forehead.
Ranma remained silent, hearing his Ko-chan enjoying herself in
the embrace of another man.
"Are you sure it's her?" he asked.
"You know you two have the same squeals in female form?"
Akane commented. "Uncanny. Be happy for her, Ranma-sama. He
loves her, she loves him - that's all that matters."
Ranma sighed to himself, the memory of the dream flooding
back.
*He* should be the one making her moan and cry out.
<No, you shouldn't,> a voice told him.
But the thought of Ko-chan, all sweaty, her face contorted
in ecstasy ...
He took a deep breath and started in on Akane again.
* * * * * * * * * *
Nabiki growled under the pillow she was pressing onto her
own head. "One set of horndogs is bad enough, but in
*stereo*??
I'm spiking the food with sex-drive-killing drugs!"
<Jealous, Nabiki?> that nasty voice inside herself asked.
<YES!!> she yelled back. Regardless of her other faults,
Nabiki was honest with herself. After all, she knew all the
blackmail info about herself.
Nabiki failed to hear the window slide open.
"Is this the room of the fair Ranko? Yes! Behold the nubile
form beneath the bedclothes! The lush hips, the firm buttocks,
the way the rib cage is held above the bed by the bountiful
bosom - it could be no other!"
Nabiki scrambled up at the first feeling of hands on her
posterior. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU - MMRPH!!" She found a
tongue in her mouth, kissing her deeply.
She had no idea who this idiot was, but he was
*so* dead! One
hand grabbed his throat while the other one got the lamp from
the nightstand.
<CRASH!!>
Nabiki looked at the somewhat-dazed figure on the floor.
"Kuno," she muttered. "Kuso. The dream of five years comes
true, and I kosh him with a lamp."
She considered for a long moment as she stared at him.
Despite the ugly Pikachu print boxers and the t-shirt saying
'Happiness Is a Handful of Warm Booby', she couldn't help
but admire the fact he was well-built and quite cute.
<As long as he keeps his mouth shut,> she added.
She had two options open to her while he was still unconscious:
toss him out the window or ravish him on the spot. Both appealed
to her.
"Mrrr ..." Kuno moaned. "Akane-chan? Ranko-chan? My loves?"
For a moment, Nabiki was annoyed. But the racket coming from
all sides now gave her other notions. <Oh what the hell,
everyone else is doing it ...> "Of course, Tatewaki-sama."
* * * * * * * * * *
Kasumi was sitting up reading a romance novel. Hearing the
noise from three different directions, she sighed and stuffed
more cotton in her ears. The energy was weirding her out,
making her think of Jiro in very improper ways. She even,
briefly, dwelled upon a memory from her high school days
concerning her Home Economics teacher and the proper way to
knead pastry dough ...
Kasumi put down the novel and picked up the 'Apartments for
Rent' listings. "Let's see ... quiet efficiency apartment,
no loud music ..."
* * * * * * * * * *
Downstairs in the dining room, Nodoka and Sasuke, being unable
to sleep due to the noise, were playing cards, politely
ignoring the racket from upstairs.
<From 'House of the Hentai' to 'Whorehouse',> Sasuke thought
to himself. <Reminds me of that brothel my brother-in-law
works in as a bouncer.> "Dealer takes three."
<It's so good Tofu-sensei is sleeping with Ranko tonight,>
Nodoka mused. <Accepting a man into her bed before marriage
may not be proper, but at least it isn't her brother.> "Two,
please."
Sasuke's head jerked up briefly at a familiar sound. <That
sounded like ... nah.> Shaking his head to rid himself of
such silly notions, he concentrated on his cards.
* * * * * * * * * *
Cologne tried to regain her view of her two subjects, but
huge amounts of free ki-energy were being expended in the
vicinity, interferring with her scrying.
<Could that be ... SUCCESS!!> She chortled to herself. <Must
be an epic shagging, too. If I didn't know better, I'd swear
that was the energy of several people!>
Then she noticed something; some of that energy was
*here*!
Pogoing down the ship's corridors, Cologne followed the
trail of tantric force to it's origin ...
... Mousse's cabin?
A quick peek ... Cologne chuckled to herself. It seemed that
Rose Petal found a way to make the Duck-Boy forget Shampoo.
<Probably a side-effect of my shapings ... must watch that
corona effect next time,> she said to herself.