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Breaking this into smaller pieces than I normally do (and to make C+Cing
easier ^_^)
$Wai! You finally listened!
Prologue
"It's about time you finally showed up. We've been waiting almost half an
hour for you. I thought you weren't going to make it. And that really would
have been too bad, since I have a feeling this is going to be the most
important meeting of all."
$Even more important than the one were we decided on the club name?
"Sorry. Business was heavy."
"Don't worry about it. You're here now, so sit down and we can begin. I'll
cut to the chase by saying what's on everyone's mind: we're getting nowhere
with Ranma. Ever since the attempted wedding several months ago, things have
just gone downhill, and there isn't any sign of them getting better."
"Loathe as I am to agree with you, I fear you are right. Ranma has been
showing me little attention. I know he doesn't love me, but that doesn't
mean he won't fall in love with me. I know he will, once we have some time
alone and he is removed from that wicked girl's enchantment, which seems to
beguile nearly all men. She's even managed to win the attentions of my
brother, moron that he is. It's uncanny how she does it since it seems like
she isn't even trying."
$Hint hint. Few guys like to be chased.
"Shampoo agree. She getting nowhere with Ranma fast. It take forever to get
him to talk to her again after wedding. He never marry Shampoo with the way
things are going now."
"He would never marry you any-"
"Enough! We aren't here to argue amongst ourselves, so settle down. Now,
since everyone can agree that things are going badly, then we can agree that
a course of action has to be taken."
"Absolutely, and it has to be taken immediately before things go too far.
The point of no return is coming soon, and if something isn't done right
now, there's no point in doing anything ever. Everyone might as well go pack
up and start thinking about finding their future husband in some other
district."
"Forget it! Ranma's mine. There's no way I'll let Akane have him."
$Over her dead body!
"Keep it down. The restaurant's walls aren't that thick. Now, I'll admit I
have been giving this matter some thought, and I've come up with the only
possible course of action. Look, the simple fact of the matter is Ranma
loves Akane. The only way to win his love is to get her out of the picture.
That'll free Ranma up and then the playing field will be level for the first
time. However, the only way to truly remove her is to get rid of her
permanently."
$Shampoo know this superpowered martial artist back in China, maybe he
kidnap Pervert-girl?
Ukyo: Umm, Shampoo, we've already tried that one. Several times.
Shampoo: Oh, Shampoo forgot.
"Permanently? Do you mean kill Akane?"
$No, I ment we should turn her into a panda and sell her to a zoo. OF
COURSE I mean kill her!
"Of course I mean kill her."
$YAY! Everyone's turning evil!
"That seem cold-hearted coming from you."
"Oh, it is. Make no mistake about that. But nothing less than that will do.
Otherwise there will always be a chance she'll somehow pop up again, or
Ranma will go on some idiotic quest to find her, and if he discovers even a
clue to her still being alive, he'll spend the rest of his life trying to
find her. You should be the one with the least hesitation about this. You do
have an outstanding kiss of death on her, as I recall."
"Well, yes, but that was from long time ago."
$Statute of limitations, you know.
<snip>
"Is you sure? Maybe there is still something we can do to make Akane no want
to be married to airen for real. Maybe we can trick Ranma into sleeping with
another girl and get pictures, then Akane throw him out for good."
"Don't be stupid! Idiotic plans like that are why you've never made the
least bit of progress in all of this time. I can think of a hundred things
that could, and probably will, go wrong with that idea, and you'll end up
being the one that gets screwed. Why are you of all people acting squeamish
about killing Akane?"
"Now you is the stupid one. If Ranma ever finds out someone killed Akane, he
won't rest until he gets the killer. Everyone knows that."
"Of course he would, which is why he can't ever have a clue that she has
been killed. She needs to just 'disappear'."
$Ranma is thick headed. He'd probably never think that she was killed.
"Why not kill her and set someone else up to make it look like they did it?
That way Ranma can get revenge, and we won't be suspected of a thing."
"I did consider that, but it's too likely something will go wrong and we'll
get blamed. Then that will be the end for all of us. Best to keep things
simple. We kill her, make sure the body is never found, and give ourselves
in alibi for when she disappeared."
"You're right. Ranma's mine, not hers, and she knows it. I haven't been
after him for over half of my life just to give up now. She should have
backed off when she knew that I had prior claim and really love Ranma.
$HAH HAH HAH! Oh, please stop. My sides are aching.
Whatever happens to her now, it's her own fault."
$Yeah, I gotta agree there. You juggle dynamite when you screw with
obssesive compulsive stalkers like these three.
"Indeed."
<snip>
"Okay, so we lure her somewhere alone and then what? How we kill her? Who
kill her? All of us, or just one with others helping? And what we do with
body afterward so no one finds it?"
$Shampoo know this really good recipie for pork ramen!
Oh please, my tomboy okonomiyaki would taste way better than noodles.
I've got this pet alligator...
"We need somewhere relatively close by so as not to arouse her suspicion,
yet quiet and out of the way so that no one can see what happens. How about
the restaurant?"
"No way. If anyone sees her enter and not come out, we're done for."
"I was thinking about the park in the late evening, near where they're
constructing that huge new playground. It's within easy walking distance.
There's lots of heavy equipment there and the place is off-limits, so no one
should be hanging around there. The foliage near it is pretty thick since
they haven't gotten around to removing most of the trees around the area
yet, so it's hard to see unless you're right there. I checked it out and
they don't have a night watchman or anything. There shouldn't be any
witnesses to what occurs there. Still, disguises would be called for, just
in case. And if anyone does stumble on the scene, Shampoo can erase their
memory with that special shampoo of hers."
"Hmm. If they're laying the foundations, it would be a convenient place to
dispose of the body. Bury it in some quick drying concrete in a hole in the
ground, and no one will be the wiser."
$Personally, I'd grind her up and flush her down the public toliets bit by
bit.
"Exactly what I was thinking. Nice to see our minds think alike."
"I suppose I should take that as a compliment."
"Shampoo can administer death blow. It come so fast, Akane will not have a
chance to cry out."
"Nice to see you're finally participating in this."
"As you say, is only way to get airen away from her."
"So we lure her out to the middle of the construction site, kill her, mix
the body with the foundation and hope they don't discover the ground is
settling and tear it up and find her skeleton. It almost sounds too easy."
"Can you come up with a better plan?"
"I'm not saying that. It's a good plan, but I'm so used to plans getting
screwed up, no matter how simple they are, that I don't have much faith in
them."
"Then you not interested in killing Akane and getting shot at Ranma?"
"I didn't say that. I guess you're right. It's the only way."
"So who will lure Akane out there?"
"I'll do it. She trusts me the most. She's always been too trusting for her
own good. I'll call her and tell her I have a lead on a cure for Ranma and
want to talk to her in private out in the park. She's always eager to help
Ranma. If it happens fast, she won't wonder why I'm calling her instead of
getting it myself to give Ranma."
"Wait. How do we keep Akane from telling her family it you who she's
meeting?"
"I have an idea on that. Leave it to me. Once she's alone, I'll give you a
call to give her a call."
$Err, wait, I'm confused. How would that work?
"That sounds reasonable. We'll take care of matters from there. Then
afterwards, if anyone asks, we provide each other with alibis by claiming we
happened to run into each other and had an argument which ended up at the
restaurant. With the way we're continually at each other's throats, no one
should doubt us. Few will have any suspicions that we acted in unison to
dispatch our rival. We'll even fight with each other worse than ever to add
credibility to the idea."
$Another good idea would be to betray the other two, _almost_ save Akane,
make sure she gets out a few last breaths to her familiy from the comfort
and safty of your arms, and kill the other two. But then again, that would
be violating the KISS rule.
"Yes, is a good thing we not let anyone know we get together like this
several times before, or they might not believe it."
"So when do you think we should do it?"
"Why not the day after tomorrow, before someone loses their nerve or
something come up which prevents us from meeting again?"
"I see no reason why not. This sounds like an exceptionally good plan, as
long as the timing is there."
"You mean it sounds like the kind of plan one uses when there's no other
course of action left for them to take."
"Having second thoughts?"
"No. Just recriminations. But like you said, things have been going downhill
and it's all Akane's fault. I can't deny I've been wondering how much easier
things would be if Akane was removed from the picture. I keep coming up with
a much better world than the one I'm in now and will likely end up in. I
like her well enough, but when push comes to shove, I'll choose Ranma over
her every single time."
$Too bad this isn't a lemon.
"Then it's settled. We'll check out the area and, if it's useable, we'll set
events into motion the night after tomorrow around ten thirty. It'll take
Akane roughly between about half an hour to get to the right place in the
park. By that time the area should be clear. Shampoo can reconnoiter it
beforehand just to make sure. If something goes wrong, Ukyou can make up
some vague rumor she heard about a casket of Nanniichuan somewhere and tell
Akane the two of them can get together to recover it. There's an outside
chance we can work with that if things falls through, though I doubt if they
will. It is, after all, a good plan."
$Heh, if I was in Nerima, I wouldn't trust a plan to bake a cake.
Everything screws up there.
*sigh* I've a bad feeling about this. Ninety nine percent of the time I
don't like darkfics. The other one percent are just funny. The problem is
I soak up the emotion like a sponge, and always end up pissed or depressed,
both of which are not fun states for me. I can't distance myself properly.
So, I sincerely hope you really don't make this dark, or, if you do, that
you screwed it up and I won't be affected. Faint hope there, given how good
your fics are normally. With that said, I continue on.
Ragun