Twas the night before X-mas

    and all through my job,

    no person was angrier

    than this dumb slob



    We mixed up the packages

    Oh my, what a fright

    In order to compensate

    We offered to send them overnight



    The bitch didn't like it

    She complained for some cash

    Had I been seeing red then

    She would be nothing but ash



    I roared and hollered and bellowed

    Cash AND compensation?

    Not in this store,

    I'd make sure she felt a certain sensation



    No person could stop me

    had I lost control

    A rampage would have followed

    And I was on a roll



    F**k you, you dumb fool,

    UPS is overworked this season,

    I huffed and puffed.

    She didn't listen to reason.



    Better Business Bureau,

    Lawyers, harassment,

    My anger built higher and higher

    Soon, she would be in a casket.



    But just then, what did I hear?

    Old Saint Nick didn't appear



    No God, no Buddha, No John Romero,

    No Jesus, No Ala, Not even Belldandy

    The picture of my nephew kept me cool

    Though a hammer _was_ been handy.



    My assurances were nothing,

    It was just a mess

    I told her to hope it got there

    And may Takahashi bless.



    The witch wanted nothing to do with it,

    She climbed on her evil broom

    "They'd better be there!"

    And flew off with a *ZOOM*.



    I sighed and tried to get some holiday cheer

    Anything would be tolerable, even vile beer.



    No, I grabbed a Dew,

    I closed the gates,

    I had nothing to do.

    I'd wait on the fates.



    I sit here typing away,

    Slipping caffeine into my system

    Wishing for a credit card

    Which is the smallest problem



    My buddies are equally swamped,

    Boy are we tired,

    We all have worked tirelessly

    Or else we'd be fired.



    A Christmas fic isn't likely

    I haven't the time this year

    My back's killing me

    And the lack of a job I fear



    This songfic'll do I have to give

    that and my internet time I must.. ah, hell



    Tears fill my eyes as I say-ed,

    "Merry X-mas to all, can I get pay-ed?"



============================================================



    A-kun sighed as he stared at the screen.  His appetite was spoiled and his
mood was poor.  Others would have fun, but not him.  Thanks to the bitch, he
was lacking a lot of sleep and food.  The only thing he could down was Dew
and the occasional meal after he got hungry enough.

    "This year sucks.  My computer's still down, I'm overworked, underpaid and
exhuasted.  If I were able to use a ki blast out of depression, I'd blow up
the entire Twin Cities." A-kun muttered aloud.

    "Don't worry, A-kun.  You can find time to do that next year." Ranma
suggested.

    "Yeah, right.  I'll just lay down and sleep to spring, right?  Not with my
job." A-kun sneered.

    "Hey, buck up-" Ranma began.

    "What did you call me?!" A-kun demanded.

    "Uh, I meant feel better.  We're here to give you inspiration."  Ranma
stated.

    "Pffft.  Fat lot of good that did." A-kun retorted.

    "You read D.B. Sommer's Good Plans, right?" Ranma inquired.

    "Yeah, what of it?" A-kun asked.

    "Is that where you got the urge to write this next fic?" Ranma inquired,
motioning to the minimized .txt file.

    "Heh.  Yeah.  I also got that idea for the Evangelion fic, the GSMIT fic,
the Roku-Bun No San fic, and a thousand of other things.  Hell, even that
Malkavian fic." A-kun murmured.

    "So what's wrong?" Ranma asked.

    "First of all, I can't spend twenty-six hours a day working on my fics. 
Sometimes I need new inspiration, but that always backfires.  Hell, I even
started a Trigun fic and a Threads of Fate/Slayers crossover." A-kun huffed
before continuing, "Not to mention the fact that I can't keep up with my
thoughts.  That's why my Pokemon fic is stalled."

    "I thought it was because it sucked. You were adding too much depth." Ranma
noted.

    "No, the problem is I try too hard.  Too many stories start out all
ladie-dadie, then turn into bloodfests where mere survival is
nigh-impossible.  You should see the chapters I rejected for Pokemon
HAHAHAHA and even Variable Geo: Variable Nu.  Hell, I had originally planned
to finished VGVN with chapter 9." A-kun responded.

    "Why haven't you been busy on the FFML then?" Ranma asked.

    "Because I'm trying to spread my focus.  Of course, that backfired
partially." A-kun sighed.

    "Yeah, that last Nut Punch Kamen you put out totally sucked." Ranma said.

    "Why are you here again?" A-kun asked.

    "I'm here to make sure you finish that Ranma fic." Ranma sneered.

    "Yeah.  Get me a computer that's strong and fast enough to handle my speed
of thought and the time to type and I'll spin universes around my thumb."
A-kun huffed.

    "Get typing, monkey boy." Ranma laughed.

    "I hate you." A-kun retorted.

    "Yeah, just keep saying that and I'll turn into the Ranma from Paint It
Black." Ranma answered.

    "Try it and I'll take Huh?'s idea of writing Yaoi.  You always like
Tsubasa, right?" A-kun smirked.

    "Maybe you could come up with an idea generator for people who can't think
of stuff." Ranma reasoned.

    "Nah." A-kun said.

    "Hey, you thought up that strange world where I wound up with Akari, Ukyou
and Mousse got together and Ryouga and Akane were dating." Ranma noted.

    The two grinned in unison and continued, "And Shampoo really deserved
Tatewaki Kunou."

    "I'm still amazed at the whole bit with Tsubasa and Konatsu doing it with
Kodachi." Ranma snickered.

    "In any case, I've got to finish this." A-kun said.



=========================



    Merry Kwanzaa, Have a Yuletide Hannakah, a Kooky X-mas, and a Solemn New
Years.



    "And beer is no substitute for sex." Gourry declared.

    "Gourry, shut up." Naga sneered.



    From everyone who knows that five rings with no answer means "WE AREN'T
HERE!"

_________________________________________________________________

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