* * * * *
An hour after the event, a young Amazon warrior with hair the same shade as
summer violets laid on a cot inside of a hut designated for the local healer.
Five other cots surrounded her, all recently vacated. On the wall before
the cots were two shelves stocked with innumerable sealed or corked jars
containing various mixtures or handpicked samples of vegetation. Beside
those was another shelf , this one hosting ancient herbal lore alongside
modern medical textbooks and encyclopedias. On the far side of the room was
a moderate-sized desk and chair with an old, shrunken woman poring over the
pages of an aging tome.
"...ohh..."
"So you're finally awake, Great-Granddaughter."
Through the haze of dull pain and herbal mixtures, Shampoo recognized that
voice immediately. "Great-grandmother..."
The ancient woman turned away from the thick book to face her
great-granddaughter still lying down on the cot. She took hold of her
gnarled staff and hopped onto it, pogoing over to the recovering girl. "Yes,
Shampoo?"
The indigo-haired girl groggily opened her eyes tried her best to focus in
the direction of the voice. "Who won?"
"The boy named Ranma did."
She smiled weakly. "Good. So, we'll get married, right?"
"Yes, you will. All six of you girls will be married to Ranma."
"Great. All six of us..." she mumbled, drifting off to sleep.
Cologne blinked, staring at Shampoo. "My, she seems to be taking that well.
I thought she wasn't into same sex relationships."
At that moment, the young woman's eyes flared wide open in abject horror.
"All six?!" She sprang off of the cot and landed on her knees in front of
the old woman in less than a blink of the eye. "Grandmother, you can't be
serious!"
"I'm afraid so."
"B-but what about the law? When two or more Amazons are challenged to
hand-to-hand combat, the last one defeated is given the chance to give the
Kiss of Marriage!"
"After the tornado dissipated and Lotion's mother Medicine came to attend to
you all, I asked the witnesses about what happened. From their accounts, you
challenged Ranma to a duel. He in turn challenged you and at least five
others, correct?"
Shampoo frowned. "I think so. They were talking in Japanese, so I couldn't
follow it at all, but Frost gave us the final translation in the end."
"I see..." Cologne thought on that new fact for a second before filing it
away for future reference. "Then, after some dispute, all of you girls
decided to attack the boy as one, correct?"
Shampoo slowly nodded, a sense of dread settling in the pit of her stomach.
"Apparently, someone pushed Frost to the ground in the middle of the fight.
A bad choice, considering how much she dislikes others exerting their
physical superiority over her. In anger, she used her magical abilities to
create a tornado, which swallowed everyone involved in the fight, including
herself. After a moment, the spell abruptly ended, presumably when Frost was
knocked unconscious. As best as they can tell, he beat all of you at the
same time. Since there is no subclause pertaining to instances such as
these," she continued on. "It's been decided that he is to be considered
married to all of you, as it will be unlikely he will issue another challenge
in the present time."
"That can't be right! There has the be some other solution!"
"Well, I could declare Frost as the legal wife of Ranma-" The younger Amazon
started at this. "-or, since this matter is ambiguous, I could have the
entire event made null and void."
Fear flashed in Shampoo's eyes. "No, those can't be options!"
Cologne studied her great-granddaughter's face briefly. "Then I'm afraid
that the original decision stands as is."
The indigo-haired girl wavered, then wilted, groaning and covering her face
with her hands. "This can't be happening..."
The elder watched her for a few moments. "So you've really fallen for him,"
she said under her breath. "Just like the other five have... This is serious
indeed."
* * * * *
"Um, Guide?"
"Yes, Honored Sir?"
"Just what exactly is going on?"
"What do you mean, Honored Sir?"
"Please, just call me Saotome-san."
"Yes, Honored Sir."
"... "
"Something wrong, Honored Sir?"
"Nothing to be concerned about. Please, answer my earlier question."
"Oh, I not sure how you mean."
"I mean, why are all these people putting up decorations and cooking and the
like?"
"Oh, that! They prepare for ceremony. Once in lifetime. No one ever marry
six Amazon all once before. Too too fortunate groom!"
"Ah, I see. Well, I suppose we shall stay around until after the reception."
"Well, Honored Sir, there little choice in matter of staying."
"Eh? Why's that?"
"Other Honored Sir is groom. Would do no good to leave own wedding."
"Well, we can't have that now, can w-?! What did you say?!"
"Calm down, Honored Sir! Would think you be very proud of other Honored Sir.
Very lucky to marry such strong women indeed!"
"The hell you say! We're leaving right now!"
"Wait Honored Sir! Where you go?"
"To get my son, that's where!"
"Oh, they no like that..."
* * * * *
Cologne remained in the healer's hut long after Shampoo had left to prepare
for the polygamous wedding, still reading the huge, ancient tome opened up
before her. Her finger slowly roved up and down the columns of Chinese
characters inscribed on the yellowed pages, aiding her in her quest for an
answer to a nagging question; just what spring did the Japanese boy (and
future son-in-law) Ranma fall into? The guide had claimed the young Saotome
boy fell into Nannichuan, but the elderly woman knew better than to take his
word for law; he had been known to lose track of which spring was which in
the past, and those times had almost led up to disaster.
There were one hundred and thirteen known cursed springs out of one hundred
and forty-one springs total at Jusenkyou as of current times. At least
seventy-two cursed those unfortunate to fall into their waters into different
animals such as Shomaoniichuan (Spring of Drowned Panda), Heituenniichuan
(Spring of Drowned Pig), and Lungniichuan (Spring of Drowned Dragon). She
was thankful that neither the Ranma youth nor his father had fallen into the
latter; the destruction they would have accidentally caused trying to adjust
to that form would have been much more than what the entire country of China
could have had handled even with its one-point-one billion-plus population
ratio. The other forty-one springs had varying effects, mainly those which
affected the mind and sometimes the body as well. At least seventeen of
those springs cursed the subjects to become or to remain human, but the
personalities were, to be polite, greatly altered. One spring could cause
one to become two, though the personalities would sometimes conflict.
Another spring could change even the most raging, violent psychopath onto the
pinnacle of sainthood. There was even some old rumor such as the "spring of
drowned perfect husband" and "spring of drowned love god." Cologne chuckled
to herself; if those springs really existed, no doubt there would be a six
mile-long line of married women with their husbands waiting at Jusenkyou's
front gate.
The ancient woman let the humorous thought pass, and focussed on more serious
matters. A spring that could make one immensely attractive to the opposite
sex...
Movement caught the corner of eagle-sharp gray eyes. Reflexively, she looked
towards the open window of the hut and saw a furtive passing of a grimy white
figure. Curious, Cologne let the unanswered questions slip into a pocket of
her mind as she took up her staff, then crept outside. Before her was the
back of a bulky man in an old gi with a bandanna tied about his head. Genma,
she realized immediately. What was he doing around here, sneaking through
the village like a thief? With a small smile curling at the corners of her
mouth, she went to find out.
* * * * *
"Let me guess," Nabiki said suddenly. "You caught Genma trying to sneak out
with Ranma."
"My, you are a perceptive child. At any rate, you are correct. I subdued
him and had him placed under guard until the ceremony."
Soun leaned over to Genma's ear. "You, a master of Anything-Goes, allowed an
old woman like her to best you in unarmed combat?" he whispered, shame
evident in his tones.
"She said the Master's name. She knows the Master!" the stocky martial
artist replied in the same whispering tone.
Soun turned to stone on the spot. In an instant, he prostrated himself
before a now-bewildered Cologne. "I'm sorry, Cologne-san. I did not realize
you knew... him."
She quickly regained her composure. "Who, Happousai?"
Genma's hankerchief flew off of his bald head, while Soun's hair stood up on
end. "Shh! Please don't say it out loud, or he'll return!" they said
simultaneously.
"Return?" A wiry, white eyebrow perked up slightly. "Where has he gone to?"
An uncomfortable silence sat heavily in the room. "I see... Understandable,
considering who it is. Well, I won't press the issue much farther."
"Cologne-san?" Kasumi asked.
"I apologize. I do not believe we have been properly introduced earlier."
"That's all right. My name is Kasumi Tendo. These are my sisters, Nabiki-"
She indicated the brunette on her right. "-and Akane." She pointed to the
girl in a gi occasionally stealing looks towards Ranma as he looked somewhat
embarrassed with all the attention he was receiving from his six lovely
Chinese wives. He had long since discarded the slicker, and the Amazons
nuzzled up with him as close as possible.
"Thank you. Now, did you wish to ask me something?"
Nabiki quickly cut it. "Yeah, I was curious. What brings you all here to
begin with, since Ranma seems to be having more fun with six girls over
there?"
"Um, we're looking for Mom," the pigtailed boy spoke up from his sitting
position. "Oyaji had the idea that we should get her approval before I
became officially married."
Soun immediately whirled to face him. "What?"
The girls realized too late what was going on and quickly tried to make move
to silence their shared husband. However, he said, "Right now, we're
symbolically married, but Mom has to have final say in it."
At that moment, Soun and Genma exchanged knowing looks. His three daughters
hid smiles among themselves. The six Amazon girls silently groaned as the
cat escaped the bag with supple celerity. Cologne gave Ranma an unreadable
look before making an almost imperceptible nod of her head. Ranma simply
blinked. "What?"
"Oh, nothing," everyone in the room spoke as if one.
The Saotome heir blinked twice. "That... that was a little unnerving..."
* * * * *
Years from now, Ranma would most likely regret letting the status of his
polygamous marriage become public knowledge. That is assuming he were to
live through the trip Fate so lovingly prepared for him in advance, that is...