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---
"Ah! My Hentai!"
Episode 4: Deus ex Machina
A lemon by Twoflower based on characters by Fujishima Kosuke
(18 and over only, please: very absurd adult material within
in full defiance of plausibility and common sense.)
http://www.bewareofart.com/ahmyhentai
---
ObDisclaimer: The following story does not even bother to represent a
realistic view of relationships and should be taken as 128% fantasy. But if
you didn't know that already, you probably believe in a bunny who gives you
chocolate and hides festively colored eggs.
Remember, in real life, always make sure you have rough unprotected sex with
multiple drug using partners while sharing needles!
---
Another beautiful morning.
Keiichi arise from easy slumber to find himself in love with the world.
This was in sharp contrast to how he woke up two days ago, dreading what the
day might bring... now, he had quite a bit to look forward to. His first
official date with Belldandy would be today.
It was just last night...
"A date?" Belldandy had asked, her ice cream cone melting as she held it
without chowing down. "Aren't we on one?"
"I mean a real date," Keiichi explained. "This is... more of a meeting,
so we can talk about stuff. I want to make this work, Belldandy. I'm sorry
it took me so long to see it... and it took me this long to just sit down
with you and explain how I felt."
"I'll do anything you like, I promise. I don't have to call you
Keiichi-SAMA anymore if you don't want me to. And if you want--"
"I want you to do what you want to do," Keiichi warned quickly. "This
isn't your master giving you an order. Like I said, that's not honestly what
I'm looking for. But I do want to be with you... I want to, you know... do
this kind of the normal way. Tomorrow, we'll go out to a movie, and dinner,
and... um..."
"Aaaand?" Belldandy asked, adding a teasing tone.
"Err... we'll figure that bit out when we get there," Keiichi had said,
unable to resist blushing about it. "But I won't run away. I promise."
He was as smooth as he could have hoped to be, and Belldandy had proven
to be quite understanding. All it took was sitting down and talking about
it... talking about it and forcing himself to really open himself up to the
idea.
It was surprisingly easy to get to sleep, even in anticipation of the
glorious day that would follow -- after all, the sooner to bed, the sooner to
the date! It would hopefully be everything Keiichi wanted AND everything
Belldandy wanted... a nice romantic classical date, and then once they got
home and turned out the lights...
Keiichi peeked down beneath his quilt. Apparently he had a visit from
the Morning Wood Fairy. It wouldn't do to go out there looking like this, so
he quickly got changed into some fairly thick jeans -- a tidy solution to a
little problem, and likely the only problem he'd experience that day.
And so, Keiichi Morisato strolled out into the living room content in
the fact that everything was coming up roses, and nearly missed discovering
that the roses had thorns en route to his bowl of Corn Pops.
The first unusual thing he noticed was that all three goddesses were
awake. He was up a bit early, and he had figured on Skuld sleeping in and
Urd snoozing away on the couch as she usually did after a night of
celebration... but instead, they were all sitting on the couch, watching
television.
Keiichi considered fetching his breakfast and then joining them, but
curiosity got the better of him, as he walked up behind the couch to watch
over Belldandy's shoulder. He squinted a bit at the funny box that was
sitting on top of his boob tube.
"Err, what's--"
"Modification to pick up Heaven's cable system," Urd said quickly. "Now
shh."
"...will be a sunny and pleasant 75 degrees," the weather girl was
saying, pointing to a map of heavenly clouds covered thick in 75 degree
indicators. "Clouds eight and nine will also have a sunny and pleasant 75
degree day, and the Silver City will experience a sunny and pleasant 75
degree day. That'll do it for weather. Pat?"
The newscaster appeared next. "And our top story again... the culprit
behind the recent wave of Yggdrasil bugs has been caught. Current God of
Death, Shinigami (seen here in his college graduation photo) was arrested
last evening on charges of life record hacking, intent to cover up a crime,
and conspiracy to crash Yggdrasil. After making an illegal edit to save the
life of a mortal, he continued to hack the system in order to cover his
tracks and leverage the balance of life force in the universe. When
questioned, he had this to say."
A gaunt man in a black coat, flanked by two mean lookin' angels, spoke
into a handheld microphone. "There is no true judge other than the Father
himself. I will not admit guilt in this case, and will rely on His wisdom to
see this through."
"The suspect also made unfounded claims about lead investigator Loki's
involvement in the hacking, but no proof has been found for these wild
allegations," the newscaster continued. "Continuing in this story... Loki
and his bug tracking committee have determined that the optimum course of
action to repair Shinigami's damage, since there is now a cascade failure in
progress, is to restore reality from a tape backup made two days before the
incident. This will set back the universe at large several weeks, but is
unavoidable in order to ensure the continued safety of all life. The
oversight committee has approved Loki's decision, and the restoration of the
backup universe will commence later today. All gods, goddesses and angels
currently on earth are to report to heaven before the restoration. Now, in
sports..."
Urd clicked the Mute button. This effectively muted the television and
all conversation, as the four sat/stood in utter shock.
"...doesn't that mean that the world is going to be reset to a point
just before I met Belldandy?" Keiichi spoke up, his mind clicking through to
the inevitable conclusion.
"Give the boy a prize," Urd groaned, leaning back. "Exactly, Keiichi.
Leave it to Loki to come up with such a ridiculous plan. He never did
anything the simple way..."
"Great," Keiichi groaned, slumping against the back of the couch. "That
means I have to do those papers and take those tests all over again. As well
as racing against the Auto Club, and.... err. Wait, if it's that far
back..."
"We'll be fine," Urd said. "Bell, Skuld and myself will go back
upstairs and get back to our jobs. But you and your contract will be gone,
and it'll be like you never met Belldandy. I'd like to state for the record
that I think this completely sucks ass, girls. But if it is a divine
mandate, there's not a whole lot we can do about it--"
There's a peculiar sound the throat makes when it's catching and choking
on a sob. It's impossible to put into words, but on hearing it, there's an
empathic reaction from everybody around you... attention shifts, sympathy
rises, and concern mounts. Belldandy did her best to hide her tears... but
with her family and her lover nearby, there would be no hiding.
"Belldandy..." Keiichi spoke quietly.
"...I'm sorry, Keiichi," Belldandy said. "This is my fault. If I
hadn't brought you to this temple, I wouldn't have had to make that deal with
Shinigami... and this wouldn't have happened. We wouldn't be..."
"Belldandy, there's no fault here," Keiichi said, finding himself (much
to his surprise) putting his arms around her shoulders, and hugging her from
behind. He was shaking just as much as she was, though, which was of no
comfort to either of them. "I guess... sometimes stuff like this happens.
R-Right? If... if we only have a day... we should make the best of it. We
agreed to--"
But Belldandy stood up quickly, pulling away from his arms. She turned
to face him, even if it hurt just to look at his eyes. "Keiichi, please...
if I'm going to lose you... don't make it harder for me. Or any harder for
you. It hurts already to think about what's going to happen... I should just
go. Go now, rather than wait through half a day of suffering..."
"Huh?" Keiichi asked, standing as well. "What do you... B-Belldandy..!"
Moving quietly (but swiftly) from the room in her morning slippers,
Belldandy exited the temple. Keiichi wasn't far behind, even if he had to
scrabble a bit more for a footing before pursuing.
"Terrific," Urd commented. "They're not taking it well at all. It's
probably to be expected--"
"This blows," Skuld spoke darkly.
"Yeah, I know. We--"
"I don't buy it. Not for a minute," the younger sister said, crossing
her arms. "Look, I was THERE. I was fighting these bugs during nearly the
entire run of the errors! Okay, maybe a few were cascade failures... but
something smells wrong here. And it's not just because Loki's involved and I
trust him as far as I can spit Britney Spears!"
"You think we've got foul play?" Urd asked, raising her infamous eyebrow
of curious inquiry.
"I'd put my allowance on it," Skuld replied, getting up and setting her
empty cereal bowl aside. "That's it. It's time to crunch the bits. If you
need me I'll be in my room online to Yggdrasil. If there is anything fishy
to this I'm gonna sniff it out. Nobody fucks around with Skuld the Mistress
of Debugging... or with my sister's happiness."
"So you're accepting Keiichi now, is that it?"
"What, that dickhead? Of course not. But Belldandy does, and anybody
who makes my sister cry gets to pay in blood, bile, phlegm, stomach acid,
sputum--"
"There goes my interest in breakfast. What if you're wrong, Skuld?
Loki's an asshole but I don't think he'd be crazy enough to fake something
like th... okay, he would be. But what if you're wrong?"
"If I'm wrong..." Skuld said. "Then... we go home. And I'll do my best
to comfort oneesama... er. Shouldn't you go after them?"
"I probably should... but I can't think of anything to make the
situation any better," Urd said, watching the door the two had just bolted
from in worry. "If anything, I might make it worse. If it could be worse.
...but hell if I'm just gonna sit around during my last hours here before
returning to the daily grind. I'm outta here."
"Urd, keep your pager on. I might need your help."
"Kid... if I do what I think I'm gonna do, I'm leaving the pager off.
Or maybe just switching it to vibrate mode."
"Huh?"
"Later," Urd said, giving a little wave before diving through the TV
screen and vanishing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The bathhouse was still in ruins from the Skuld assault the other day.
The water had drained out, leaving the floorboards only vaguely damp, and
covered in jagged bits of porcelain. Keiichi wished he had remembered that;
his first step into the building had been right onto a nasty bit of craggy
white artificial stone.
He slipped badly, but caught himself before he could fall over... but it
was enough of a delay for Belldandy to get away, and reach the bathroom
mirror.
Cursing, he hopped on one foot a moment while trying to plead with her.
"Please, Bell!... I know you think you're protecting me, but... I still
haven't been able to wrap my mind around this, I'm sorry, it's early, but I'd
want to spend my last hours with--"
"It's for the best, Keiichi," Belldandy said quietly, wobbling a bit
from the tears. "I'm sorry. Maybe Shinigami was right... this contract was
an error to begin with, and this is why, because it wasn't meant to be. I
didn't mean to break your heart. I'm so sorry... goodbye..."
"BELLDANDY!"
The lunging grab wasn't going to work, but he felt he had to do it
anyway. Springing through the air, he grasped for the space where
Belldandy... was. Instead, his hands met the mirror.
He didn't notice it break, or the cuts on his hand. His brain was still
reeling from the last five minutes... when his perfect day completely fell
apart. He must be dreaming.
No... his hands were cut, and they did hurt. It wasn't a dream.
Although he wished it was.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Travelling to Heaven doesn't feel like anything special.
There's a bright light, and a rushing sensation, and then it's over.
It's no worse than a tight turn on a roller coaster. No matter how you may
travel there... by dying, by using a mirror, by using a television or water
or camera lens or whatever, it's always the same general conduit.
Belldandy was so shaken up that she didn't notice what felt different.
It was a snap decision... bail, escape, flee from the horror of losing
everything she had worked so hard to get. Right on the cusp of what felt
like a new beginning for them... after the talk last night, and all her
anticipation of the wonderful day ahead... hearing this was too much. She
had to get away. So she didn't have to sit around dreading and waiting for
it to be over...
She couldn't go back now; it'd be going back on her decision. It would
be caving in. Even if every fiber of her soul told her it wanted to go back
to his arms. He had hugged her back there, he wanted to make it all better,
and...
...and this wasn't Heaven. Something had felt different on the way up
here. Some sort of unknown twist...
She twirled around, nearly losing her footing in the gnarled roots of
the unknown tree. "What...?"
"It's so good to see you again, Belldandy-chan..." he spoke.
Darkness.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For all the mortals on the cusp of a universal reboot, it was just
another Sunday morning. Many were asleep; others were reading the paper,
walking the dog, doing the yardwork, any number of things. Ootaki was busy
killing Diablo.
He'd crawled through stony ruins; he'd fought through the Tomb of Baal.
He'd collected specialized sets of armor and had potions hotkeyed into his
inventory for immediate use. Now, armed with his Superior Broadsword of
Destruction and a Shield of Holy Might, he was taking on the man himself.
Weeks of work, building up to a single frenzy of mouseclicks on his cheap
Pentium...
"Die, you foul beast!" Ootaki cried out, rapidly clicking that left hand
button (and rapidly chugging life potions, since he actually had no chance in
hell of surviving the encounter). "For love and glory, I will punish--"
*WHAM WHAM WHAM*.
The sound distracted him enough not to hit the potion button fast
enough, and soon his brave warrior was a thin paste smeared against the
dungeon walls. Diablo gave him the finger.
"Dammit!" Ootaki shouted, banging a fist on the table. He whirled to
his feet and stormed off to the door of his dorm room, intent on unloading
great vengeance and furious anger on the intruder. He whipped the door open.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU Urd?"
Urd stormed into the dorm just as firmly as he had stormed to the door.
She sat down on his bed right away, with one simple command at the tip of her
lips.
"You. Me. Sex. Now."
"Er, what?" Ootaki said, his male mind having trouble shifting gears so
quickly.
"Sex," she repeated for his benefit.
"Sex?"
"Sex."
"Uh..."
"Problem?" she asked, starting to unbutton her blouse.
"Well... not technically," Ootaki said, his pulse starting to outperform
the finest Winston Cup racers. "But--"
He started biting his kuckles as the blouse fell to his unwashed
mattress. Urd quickly reached behind herself to undo the bra... and was
surprised to find the boy taking her arms, and preventing her from getting
that far.
"What's wrong?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. "I thought this
is what you wanted, pal. To land a hot babe. C'mon, I'm a babe, I'm REAL
hot and I want some horizontal lambada immediately!"
"...look, believe me, I WANT to!" Ootaku protested, stepping away.
"But... I can't yet."
"What, you're having erectile difficulty? I know a great spell--"
"Gah!" he gagged, the pure horror blocking his ears from hearing a very
key word like 'spell'. "No way, baby, I'm like the Rock of Gibraltar!! ... I
mean... It's just that... mumble mumble mumble."
Urd crossed her arms, getting annoyed now. "Speak up, Ootaki."
"...I kind of wanted to get to know you more first."
"You're kidding."
"I'm just as surprised as you are, believe me!" he declared. "I've
stroked off three nights in a row thinking about you, and yet, I just can't
see doing it until we're closer together!"
"That's... almost complimentary, Ootaki."
"A guy like me, you know, it's all like gravy," he boasted. "Just sex
everywhere, white on rice, the chicks LOVE me. But it's never been more than
that, yeah? Never a second thought. With you, I can't get you out of my
MIND, Urd. It's like... like... I want... err..."
"Yeah?"
"A... a reeee.. a reell.."
"Relationship?" she guessed.
Ootaki quickly clamped his hands over ears, looking away. "LA LA LA LA,
can't HEEAAAR the evil word--"
It was Urd now who pulled an arm away... his arms, to uncover his ears.
She treated him with the gentlest smile she'd managed in months, no mocking
amusement, just pure delight at the boy's words. "You know how I said I
liked how shallow you are?"
"...yeah?" Ootaki asked, puzzled.
"I wouldn't mind a little depth, either," she said. "Mindless sex is
fun. But I think I've grown past that. You're right... we should know each
other better before we have hours and hours of hot, sweaty carnal fun. So...
let's get to know each other."
"Right!" Ootaki agreed. Smiling.
Urd smiled.
Ootaki smiled.
Diablo got bored and went off to play with the illegal copy of Starcraft
on Ootaki's D: drive.
The neko clock on the wall ticked away.
"What's your favorite color?" Urd asked.
"Red."
"Mine too."
The two jumped into each other's arms, locking lips tighter than the
vaults of Fort Knox, while pulling at each other's clothing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
There are seven sins, seven virtues, seven dwarves and seven stages of
acceptance. If man is five and the devil is six, that makes seven self-help
literature.
Nobody knows why this is the way of things. For something as painful as
acceptance of transition, it would make sense to reduce the stages to
something less stressful, such as 'one' (acceptance). That way we could cope
with loss like a driver changing from first to second gear, rather than
changing from first to seventh gear and causing your engine to explode,
spewing shattered parts of your ego around the racetrack of existential life.
For example, Keiichi staggered around the grounds of the temple
experiencing all seven stages in a nasty smorgasbord of angst after cutting
his hand on the mirror. True, he'd paused the throes of depression long
enough to get some iodine on the cut and bandage it up; he was a practical
man, even when having a nervous collapse. But anything after that was fair
game.
Shock was over. Shock was when Belldandy decided to 'help' him jump
straight to acceptance by simply running from him. Shock was when she went
through the looking glass, never to return.
'Never to return' kicked in his Denial. Denial that she was really
gone, that things were really over. He couldn't possibly forget her, even if
the universe was rebooted, right? She meant too much to him...
Which downshifted him right into Grief. They had barely a few weeks
together! He hadn't even understood his feelings until yesterday; how awful
was that, to have her snatched away right when he was beginning to love her
truly and freely?
The very thought of it made him Angry! He sank to his knees and beat
his fists against the grassy ground, yelling and whooping to the lack of
neighbors around the temple, but more importantly screaming to the sky. God
presumably lived up there, since all the books said he did...
Then the gears skipped a notch (Depression) when he realized that maybe
he could Bargain. Beating his fists switched instantly to rubbing his hands
together in prayer, chanting something he hoped was spiritual enough to get
some attention from the lord(s) above. If he could offer something, his
body, mind, soul, GPA, whatever it took to get her back...!
Of course, he couldn't do anything of the sort. It was out of his
hands; heaven had made up its mind, and he'd never even remember the love he
almost but never quite had. That's when Depression popped back up, and hit
him full force. It was over. Kaput. Never to be. He was the saddest sack
of the sad sacks, the last picked, the one who could be pointed at and mocked
for having the perfect thing and letting it go because he couldn't get over
himself in time. There was nothing left for him to do but Accept it.
The gearshift got stuck between 6 and 7.
Acceptance wasn't coming. Keiichi glanced at his watch; maybe it was
optimistic to hope he could achieve Acceptance after an hour or so of
emotional distress, but given the timetable for the universal reboot, it
would have been better if he could make peace before peace was made for him.
This made the whole exercise futile, of course. The raving, the
yammering, the curling up and rocking back and forth... it was all childish,
really, when it didn't help him feel better at all. He felt just as bad as
the moment she went through the mirror.
Nothing left to do. The misery of it really ate at Keiichi. And since
misery loves company, and he didn't feel like standing out in the blazing sun
until the universe restarted, he decided to seek others to make just as
miserable as he was. It was petty, true, but it was all he had left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Crunch time is the phase software developers go into when the deadline
is looming, the product is not finished, and it's time to bust some ass.
Skuld was very familiar with crunch time; she had a mental switch deep in her
noggin behind an In Case Of Emergency, Break Glass sort of affair. The glass
was broken the moment she heard the report.
Instead of going through the seven stages of acceptance, she stayed
nestled deep into the firm kind of denial that you can ride like a rocket
towards an unachievable goal. If she gave up and accepted this bizarre
reboot without hacking it for all her worth, she wouldn't be worthy of the
title Supreme Bitch Goddess Queen of the Hacking World. She wouldn't be
3l33t3.
While the others were off doomsaying and weeping, she was slamming out
code at speeds Mavis Beacon would have an orgasm over. Stacks upon stacks of
empty ice cream cups towered at either side of her monitor, a sort of dairy
offering to Legba, loa of roads and computer communication.
Heaven's top minds had already worked the problem, and determined that
the errors were a cascade from Shinigami's original edit. There was nothing
left to do but restore and reboot, they had decided on consensus (a consensus
headed by Loki, of course). Skuld parsed through the logs, slipped past
security blockades, and did everything she could to prove the impossible
theorem that Something Else Was Going On.
Time slid by like a Slip 'n Slide. She only looked at the clock when
Keiichi slumped in, looking like an Atlas with severe back pain.
"If you're here to express how unhappy you are, I'm too busy for it,"
Skuld informed him directly, never ceasing in her typing.
"I wasn't gonna," Keiichi lied. "I just... I guess I didn't want to be
alone. Belldandy left for Heaven already... I didn't even get to say goodbye
in any real--"
"You're expressing how unhappy you are," Skuld pointed out. "If you
want me to do anything to make you happy, shut up and let me........ son of a
BITCH!"
"There's no need to resort to name calling," Keiichi mumbled.
"No, not you, you dumb bastard," Skuld said, grasping her monitor and
twisting it so he could see. A stack of empty Ben & Jerry's was knocked
aside. "Look at THIS! I knew it! I fuckin' KNEW it, man!"
"Uh... knew what?"
"Observe: Yggdrasil's bug tracking logs," she introduced, pointing to
the list of obscure hexidecimal code. "The bugs Loki found are published and
documented, but I did my OWN bug tracking... and I just found something
weird. The first bug was the one Shinigami caused by letting you live,
right?"
"He what? ...Belldandy said something about him and the temple, but..."
"You hadn't figured it out? You were gonna die from exposure, but he
cheated the system to save you," Skuld explained. "A bug like that needs
some serious leverage elsewhere in the flow of life, time and space in order
to balance out, which it hasn't done... blargh. That's besides the point!
Keiichi, there's something strange in the timeline even BEFORE that. I can't
tell what it is, a bug or a patch or what... hang on."
Skuld whipped a digital cellphone from her jacket pocket, keyed in an
imaginary number, and waited. Somewhere else in the world, a beeper set on
vibrate rattled around on a bedroom end table...
"Who you gonna call?" Keiichi asked, curiously. He could feel that
lever shifting back from Depression to Denial... the good sort of Denial, if
it turned out to be supported. If it meant Belldandy was coming back... if
it meant they WERE meant to be, and not just a mistake like her friend had
apparently said they were...
A long, shapely leg emerged from a nearby portable television. It was
attached to a pair of shapely hips, a shapely torso with VERY shapely
breasts, and added up to a shapely goddess in a red satin bathrobe.
"This had BETTER be important, Skuld," Urd said, tying the robe a little
tighter, even if it was showing off enough skin to set Keiichi's nosebleed
off (if he wasn't already in emotional turmoil). "I was enjoying my last few
hours on... they ARE my last few hours here, right?"
"That depends on what this is, Urd. I need your password, I can't hack
past this level."
"Why?" she asked. "There shouldn't be anything locked in the logs."
"Funny, I've got a file locked here with YOUR specific security
identifier," Skuld explained, tapping the screen and pushing the keyboard
over for her older sister to type.
Urd made the kind of frown that was just waiting to deepen into a
serious grimace. "That can't be..." she mumbled, as she keyed in a sequence
of characters... and then grimaced. "The hell...? That's--"
"A bug!" Keiichi spoke up suddenly. His head jerked up so fast he
nearly gave himself whiplash. "Belldandy said that Shinigami said that our
contract was an error! That'd be a bug before the 'first' bug, right?"
"Hey Skuld, the kid just figured it out before you could," Urd teased.
"He's right. I've got a serious hack edit here before the bug that saved
Keiichi's life... a hack made to insert a contract that didn't exist before.
A hack 'I' covered up..."
Skuld scratched her head. "So... you framed Shinigami? Huh?"
The grimace sunk to a dark look of pure anger. "*I* didn't cover it
up... the person I gave my ID to two nights ago did. Loki."
"Sharp as ever, Urd my love..."
It's funny how quickly despair can shift into rage. It's one of the
seven stages, but in this case it wasn't spurred on by the need to accept
something... unless it was the need to accept some kind of bloody minded
revenge on the one who spoke that.
The goddesses have various mediums to move through: water, television,
mirrors. But the gods can more about more freely, as Loki proved by simply
appearing without any flashy special effects. He didn't look nearly as
worried or pissed as anybody else in the room; his neutral expression of calm
was like a mask of pure ivory.
Urd, however, wore no such mask at all. She quickly charged a wad of
flaming holy electric death, holding it in one fist. "You BAS--"
"Urd, please, don't be so impetuous," Loki suggested. "After all, if
you do somehow manage to eliminate me here, you'll never find Belldandy
again. The same goes for you Skuld, with your rather annoying sledge hammer,
and Keiichi's... what power do you have, anyway?"
"...none," Keiichi replied, holding a fist tight enough to drive his
fingernails through his skin. "You're the one who did all this... you're the
one who separated Belldandy and I..."
"'Belldandy and me', please, at least get the grammar of your language
correct," Loki suggested. "But I commend you on figuring it out. All of
you. Thank you for helping me achieve my dream, and I thank you for being a
part of it. Of course, it's too late to do anything to stop me -- the reboot
will take place in minutes, and it's tied into my existence-process now. But
you do have a chance to get Belldandy back if you want her."
"What game are you playing here, Loki?" Urd asked, toning down (but not
turning off) her attack spell. "What's the point of this convoluted scheme?
Other than setting up an obvious trap for us to walk into when we look for
our sister."
"I think you know what I want, Urd," Loki spoke. "And I think you know
where to find us. Come, I invite you, come all. You, Skuld, and even your
mortal friend Keiichi. I'd like to explain my intentions and my generous
offer, but I can't properly illustrate it here. I will see you soon. But so
I have a proper head start..."
The god flicked his fingers, the motion blurring -- right as a blue
pulse of light burst from his body. The computer, the television, every
electrical device blew out at once.
"Much better," he said, fading from view. "Be seeing you, Urd-chan."
A whirling sledgehammer span through the space Loki previously occupied,
embedding itself in the far wall. Skuld kicked the now useless computer,
feeling the urge to break stuff in pure frustration.
"...I never wanted this," Keiichi spoke quietly. "I just wanted to live
happily with Belldandy. I didn't want to get into a war with heaven. Why
does this have to happen to us..."
"Focus on that, Keiichi," Urd nearly commanded. "Just concentrate on
how you feel for Belldandy. Let us handle the jihad. ...I'm going to need a
television, and fast."
"There's still water in the house," Skuld spoke up. "You may be
delayed, but I'm not. I'll go up there and kick that fucker's--"
"You're not powerful enough to go toe to toe with a first class god,
Skuld," Urd explained. "He knows that, that's why he only knocked out the
televisions. He also scrubbed the evidence, so you can't bring anything
conclusive up there to stop this madness quickly... but I want you to go to
the head office anyway. Maybe you can get us some help. It's worth the
chance."
"Urd, he's got oneesama! I'm gonna--"
"Head office, NOW," Urd ordered. "We don't see eye to eye on a lot,
kid, but get moving! This is important, dammit! KEIICHI!"
"Huh?" Keiichi asked, still stunned.
"Warm up the motorcycle. I've got to find a television, and the closest
one I know of is a few miles away. Let's ride."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Two upperclassman giggled away, as they were finding that professional
sports were far more entertaining when watched under the influence of
questionable substances you light and smoke.
"Maaan, it was just awesome," Ootaki was still ranting on about, despite
Tamiya being more fascinated with his navel and the funny colors it was
turning. "I'm SO in love, man. It's just... it was just awesome. Yeah.
It's like... when you really gotta go to the bathroom for like hours, and you
finally DO, and there's that relief like.... whoooaa."
"...that's gross," Tamiya said, after thinking about it for a full
minute. "You crapped on her or something?"
"I was making a metaphor. Sculpting one. Out of the puffy clouds of
purest love, my man. Floaaaating by." Pfff. "Really floating. Man, it was
just awesome--"
The door to his dorm room was kicked in. Fearing a surprise inspection,
Ootaki hid the stash and waved his hands in the air, as if it could clear up
the smoke.
Urd stomped through the room, dragging Keiichi along. Not that he was
protesting going along with her, he just wasn't able to keep up with her
angry stomping pace.
"Don't mind us, Ootaki. Just need to borrow your boob tube," Urd spoke
quickly, before jumping through his television screen with Keiichi and
vanishing.
Tamiya looked at his joint in awe. "I think this shit just kicked in."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nowadays, you don't need to climb to the top of a mountain while your
people wait below for stone tablets of standard operating procedures in order
to have a few words with the Lord. You just need to schedule a meeting in
Outlook.
Skuld, who abhorred all software products from downstairs (Redmond
goodies were only allowed upstairs by some obscure loophole) didn't bother
scheduling a meeting. She just kicked down doors and resisted security
angels until meeting her goal.
She could have gone through proper channels to let the proper folks in
the chain of command know about Shinigami's frame job, but that would have
involved forms in triplicate and working committees and other shit they
didn't have time for. When you want something done, do it yourself. When
you can't do it yourself, go RIGHT to the top. To God himself.
She had momentum now, busting through office after office and shrugging
off people trying to stop her. Keep moving, keep going just like a shark,
slow down and they'll get you--
The final level, the Lord's secretary, blocked her path. Her wings were
especially preened and fluffed, so she managed to cover the door enough to
stop all forward progress.
Security guards and whatnot filed into the tiny office behind her, as
Skuld drew her sledgehammer.
"Move," she ordered.
"I don't know who you are, but you can't just come barging in here!" the
secretary warned. "I--"
One solid whack with the hammer later, Skuld did a quick and silent Hail
Mary request for forgiveness. She could've said it out loud since He was
close enough to hear her, but some things are traditional. She turned to
back towards the door and fight off the others... even if she'd go down,
she'd go down swinging. It was useless, of course, since she'd only come
this far on pure luck... but if she didn't make the effort for her oneesama
(much less the universe) she could never live with herself...
Fortunately for her, the door behind her swung open quietly, spilling
white light that would sear mortal eyes into the antechamber. The security
guards shielded their eyes, and stopped advancing... the unspoken order was
clear. Skuld is invited, do not interfere.
Primo, Skuld thought, lowering the hammer and rushing into the Lord's
office before anybody changed opinions...
"I--"
There was no point in speaking, she realized. He already knew. He knew
everything, that was sort of the idea of being God.
"But--"
And Shinigami was to be freed promptly.
"And--"
No support would be given to Urd and Keiichi's rescue effort.
"Why--"
The matter would resolve itself. All was right.
"--oh."
Kind of made Skuld feel a bit useless, but it was hard to feel bad while
in that white light. Even with her oneesama kidnapped and the very universe
on some rocky, uncertain point, she couldn't feel worried.
And no, she didn't want a cookie at the moment, but thanks for offering.
The Lord truly moved in mysterious ways.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So this is Heaven, Keiichi thought...
"This is messier than my room," was his first response.
"I didn't have any time to clean up for visitors, okay?" Urd said,
snatching a stray pair of pantyhose from the rabbit ear antennae of her
apartment television set. "This is my entry point. Don't worry, we're not
staying..."
In a blur of reality, the scene shifted. Now Keiichi stood in a massive
hallway that stretched on endlessly, which seemed to be made entirely of
crystal and marble. On infinite shelves sat an infinite number of bonsai
trees, tiny and perfect in their square boxes. His mind had a fun time
trying to cope with the sheer size of it all...
"Like I said, focus on Belldandy," Urd suggested, as she quickly
searched along a wall of trees. "Heaven is a little hard for a LIVING mortal
to wrap their brains around. So don't bother trying. It's like looking at
the center of a spinning object so you don't get seasick; just look at the
Belldandy aspect of all this."
Belldandy. Belldandy. Belldandy... it did help to disregard everything
other than her. Keiichi nodded, as he followed along. "What are you looking
for, exactly?"
"The Yggdrasil backup copy they're gonna restore from," Urd replied.
"He told me to go where I knew he'd be... why else would Loki have arranged
for a restoration from backups unless he's altered the backup universe
somehow? There'd be no other reason, unless he just wants to piss you off,
which is too minor. No offense."
"Uh, none taken."
"He's the sort of person to 'logically' assume he could do a better job
at things than the Lord can, and what better way to take control than by the
press of a single button? Pessimistic, I know, but nothing wrong with
pessimism when it's true."
Keiichi's brain resumed boggling. "We're REALLY in a war for the fate
of all of creation?!"
"This is Heaven, kid," Urd said, pausing in front of a particular
bonsai. "We save the world nine times before breakfast. I'll enter the
backup and get Belldandy out for you--"
"No."
"She's in there, Keiichi, trust me. I have to act on malformed hunches
here, but I know this one's true."
"No... I mean I'm coming with you," Keiichi explained. "Yes, I know I
don't have any powers. I don't care. You said to focus on Belldandy... and
Belldandy is in there. Even if I can't do anything, I'm going to be there to
make a stand for her. Take me with you. Please!"
"Okay, okay," Urd said. "Hell, this is insane enough already, adding
more craziness to it only makes it mildly loopier. Grab onto me and watch
what you're grabbing. Hold your breath, too. This is gonna suck."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Belldandy.
It was the best way to deal with constantly shifting from one impossible
landscape to another. The transition did suck, as Urd warned him, but the
arrival in another infinite plane wasn't so bad if he tried to ignore it and
concentrate on Belldandy.
If he hadn't done this, he'd have had to cope with the idea of a tree of
infinite height, infinitely gnarled roots extending in all directions, and
branches and leaves that followed a fractal pattern. The sky at least was
pure black, so staring into infinity was easier on the eyes. The only things
he'd have had to get a good sense of scale was your own body, the body of
Loki, and the sparse furnishings awkwardly resting in the roots they stood
on.
Through a filter, all he saw was a vaguely lumpy ground, Urd, Loki, and
some tacky decorative furniture.
"You've made it this far," Loki spoke, while sitting behind a work desk.
He set down a compass, his tree-design blueprint now complete. "I commend
you, Urd. You truly know how my mind works. And you even brought the mortal
with you! He's quite determined, isn't he?"
"Belldandy. Now," Urd ordered. Twin balls of lightning charged in her
hands. "We came, you provide. That's the deal. Otherwise we kill you to
stop the restoration process and we take our chances finding her ourselves."
"That'll be a bit hard to do with your fingers in your ears, won't it?"
Loki asked.
"What?" Urd replied... and instinctively did just that, jamming her
fingers into her ears before a nearby gramophone player kicked in a polka.
(It hasn't been mentioned to date, but each of the goddesses also has a
specific weakness. Belldandy falls asleep if she uses too much magic -- and
since she hasn't used very much since arriving, that hasn't been an issue.
Urd, however, falls asleep if she hears polka music. Nobody can explain why
things are this way except God, and as noted, he's a bit terse on the
explanation front.)
"What a ridiculous weakness," Loki said, a little disappointed. "You
can either unplug your ears and hope you can cast a spell before falling
asleep, Urd, or you can stand there useless and helpless. If I were you, I'd
pick the latter. After all... you might hit your sister."
Loki waved a finger in the air, light blurring in a trail... and his
work desk vanished, revealing the truth.
Belldandy.
Keiichi's focus snapped into sharp relief when he saw her. Bile churned
in his stomach, hormones fired in his brain, rage boiled in his soul when he
saw what she was doing.
The goddess was dressed in a frilly set of white lingerie, very lacy and
feminine, as she knelt between Loki's legs and pleasured him with her mouth.
He smiled as he sat back, holding the end of a leash connected to a collar
around Belldandy's neck.
"As you see, we've had some time to enjoy each other's company since she
got here," Loki replied.
Something inside Keiichi snapped. He didn't bother forming words; he
simply rushed headlong at Loki, screaming like an animal and waving his arms.
Loki shook his head sadly and waved another finger, to freeze Keiichi in
place. Urd ran up to Keiichi's side, even if she couldn't do anything, so
she could glare evilly at her former lover.
"The reason I invited you here is so I could illustrate how you have
nothing to worry about, Keiichi," Loki explained, calm despite Belldandy's
head bobbing slowly up and down over his lap. "You can rest assured that
Belldandy will be treated well and given the kind of care and attention she
craves. After the reboot, you won't remember her, but I thought you'd want
to make peace with the idea of losing her."
Keiichi's muscles strained against the magic... and he found he could
speak, which was enough to vent his emotions. "How DARE YOU?!" Keiichi
screamed. "How could you do that to her?? BELLDANDY!"
"You're refusing to understand, Keiichi. Belldandy is happy here.
Aren't you, Belldandy?"
Belldandy looked up at Loki, withdrawing long enough to wipe her
mouth... and turn to look at Keiichi with empty, emotionless eyes. "Yes,
Master, I'm happy here," Belldandy whispered.
"BELLDANDY! What did you DO to her, you bastard?"
"What? Nothing at all. She did this to herself. You knew she was like
this from day one, Keiichi," Loki explained, stroking Belldandy's head like a
favored pet. "She wanted you to be her dominating master, to use her for
interesting kinky purposes... and you did not. You refused, you took the
moral high ground, and she was left hanging and wanting and longing. She
simply has chosen an upgrade to a lover who CAN provide what she desires.
Isn't that right, slave?"
"Yes, Master," she spoke. "Go home, Keiichi. I don't want you. I want
someone who can own me, someone who can control me fully..."
"Belldandy, NO! You're not like that!" Keiichi protested. "It's
true... you like sex, you're a hentai. But I'M a hentai too. Everybody's a
hentai on some level! That doesn't mean you wanted to take it THIS far... I
won't let this happen!"
"Why do you care, Keiichi?" Loki asked. "She's nothing to you, after
all. Just a 'date girlfriend', right? Even on your last day together you
wanted the romantic routine, pure and plain. You could never be what she
needs. Wouldn't your life be so much simpler, so much better if you forgot
all about her and your life went back to normal? Isn't that what you've been
wishing for on the inside for weeks?"
"Maybe once... but not anymore," Keiichi hissed, somehow pushing past
the magic enough to make a fist. "She means more to me than someone like you
can ever understand!"
"Is that so? What are your true feelings, then?" Loki asked, leaning
forward, resting his chin on his hands to listen closely.
"I... I..."
"Say it, boy. This may be the last chance you ever have."
"...I LOVE BELLDANDY!!" Keiichi screamed, right from his core. "I love
her! I want to spend the rest of my life with her! With her, with
everything she is, I love everything about her and I accept her and I accept
myself!"
"...do you. Excellent."
With a bright smile, Loki waved his finger again. The world shifted...
the phonograph playing polkas vanished, for starters, but Keiichi didn't
notice that. What he did notice was Belldandy vanishing.
"It's fine time you admitted it aloud, as well," Loki chided politely.
"I was beginning to wonder if you ever would take the final step of full
acceptance, Keiichi."
"...what?" Keiichi asked, too confused to maintain his anger.
Urd, however, was PLENTY angry and now able to express that clearly.
"The hell are you up to now, Loki?!"
"The same thing I was always up to, Urd," he said. "What I was up to
when I made the contract between Keiichi and Belldandy... I wanted to bring
these two together."
His finger trailed again, in the air, and Belldandy reappeared... but
not the Belldandy from before. She was still wearing her clothing from the
morning, when she went into the mirror. Belldandy floated gently into
Keiichi's arms, fast asleep, and quite untouched. He held her close, and
shut out the rest of the bizarre world around him... finally, there was peace
in the chaos...
"She's slept quietly in subspace for the last few hours, Keiichi. I
apologize for the illusionary Belldandy, but it was required to goad you on,"
Loki spoke. "Good work, mortal. Don't you understand, Urd? The reason why
I'm doing this? This is my gift to you. I found the perfect man for your
dear sister to love forevermore. Of course, it took a little trial by fire
to prove... but that's how love is, it burns like fire. You know that better
than anyone, yes?"
Urd's anger subsided... only in the sense that a dammed river is slowed
down, not that it loses any force. "I know that quite well, Loki."
"Don't worry, Keiichi. Once this new world is rebooted, you and
Belldandy will be king and queen over reality," Loki explained. "You need no
others. The world will be replaced with a much simpler world... only us, the
ones who are capable of acting with love will remain. Hopefully Skuld will
arrive soon, since I know she'll want to be a part of the new reality. With
Urd and her family by my side, we can institute some fairness in this
universe. The Lord is unfortunately a bit of a hands-off manager... we can
do far better than he. Urd, consider this gift proof of my good faith, and
accept my offer."
Urd stepped forward, past the silent Keiichi who was lost in his own
world with his true love. She squared face to face with Loki, intense. "You
did all this... to make up with me?"
Loki smiled, rising from his throne. "You know I go to great measures
to prove my love, my sweet Urd. We've had some problems, but I knew if I
could prove to you how deep my feelings run, we could be whole again. What
would love be without hard work and sacrifice? Just think about it. It'll
be wonderful... just like old times, Urd."
"Yeah," she said, smiling wistfully. "You know? You're right. It
WOULD be just like old times..."
She kicked him directly in the testicles.
"And that's why I'm saying no," she added, after turning her back on
his groaning, wretched form. "Never again. I finally got the strength to
say no to you, and still I burned for the longest time from the pain your
'love' gave me... well, I'm done burning now. It's over, and I'm healed.
It's OVER between us, Loki!"
Loki blessed his aching crotch enough to speak with dignity, to
straighten out. "Urd... this is not optional. The new world is coming.
Please don't do this, don't cast my love aside when we've come this far!
I've made your sister happy, haven't I? I've made you happy before. You
have to decide NOW... because the backup is about to be restored, as per my
living will. As long as I breathe, I will own the world, and if you are not
for me... I'm afraid you are against me."
Pure holy fire filled Urd's hands, as she whirled on him. "Then we'll
have to correct that little problem!" She twisted her hands into a Hadoken-
esqe pose, and the energy unloaded... warping around a bubble of will Loki
easily used to thwart her efforts.
"Please, Urd, be reasonable," Loki requested through the haze of the
spell collision. "You can't destroy me, not in my own world. I'm far above
you. I am above ALL now..."
...a dark shadow rose from behind the trickster god.
Loki twisted around, hands blurring as he prepared to defend himself.
"What--?!"
"No one is above Death," Shinigami spoke coldly, scythe raised.
The scythe lowered.
"...I told Belldandy there would eventually be a leveraging," Shinigami
whispered. "A life for a life, as the universe demands. The scales are
balanced once more."
The God of Death stood upright, his scythe held like a simple walking
staff as he addressed Urd. Keiichi even looked up, his tear-streaked face of
joy somehow tearing itself away from the goddess in his arms long enough to
hear his words.
"Begone from this false world," Shinigami spoke. "Its aborted potential
now only exists in my realm of ruin and decay."
"Don't have to tell me twice," Urd said quickly, pulling out a pocket
television she lifted from her apartment. "C'mon, Keiichi, let's get back to
Earth. We're done here."
Keiichi turned back to Belldandy. "We're going home," he spoke quietly.
"It's over. It's all over now, and you're safe."
She couldn't hear him, but somehow, she managed to smile in her sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Safe...
The word was on her lips as she awoke. Not that she knew why, since the
last thing she remembered was Loki's hands clamping over her mouth and a
sleep-spell overcoming her. She should be panicked, she should be afraid,
but...
She was home. Her bedroom, her stylishly and erotically decorated
bedroom. She was safe, she could somehow feel that, despite the universe
reboot upcoming, despite...
Keiichi!
He was sitting indian style by her cot, head tilted a bit to the side
and snoring away. How long was she sleeping? How long had he been sitting
there? She prodded him lightly, then not so lightly, wanting answers.
He snapped awake at the seventh prodding. "Belldandy!"
"Keiichi? What hap--"
"It's okay now," he explained quickly. "We stopped Loki and the
universe is okay and you're okay. It's all over."
"...oh," Belldandy said, not sure exactly what she missed. "I guess
that's all good, then... um. I'll get the details later. But what's going
on? Why are you here?"
"I was waiting for you to wake up, actually," Keiichi explained, leaning
over a bit. "There's something I needed to tell you."
"What's that?"
It was three words long.
"..." Belldandy replied, the woman who had seen and heard everything
kinky under the sun actually blushing at those words. She looked on in
shock, and almost didn't notice until it was too late that her lips were
being kissed.
She returned that kiss... it was not fierce and intense, but with the
quiet and understated passion that she always knew Keiichi had inside him.
Of course, there weren't any handcuffs or gags or blindfolds or things
like that, but it didn't matter to Belldandy. Keiichi had said those three
words, and everything that followed was golden. From the moment she had
arrived she wanted nothing more, nothing at the pure heart of her desire,
than to be with him and for him to love her. No matter what the way, no
matter how, it all boiled down to that love.
At some point she had taken off her clothing, as had he. Her mind was a
wave of bliss, finding discrete moments in time rather than a flow of it;
moments of sensation and thought as she made love to her beloved Keiichi.
Him holding her in his arms, the kisses, the way their bodies felt as the
reclined against the cot together...
She'd read about it. She'd researched it, she'd practiced it, she'd
teased it. But Belldandy had never truly and actually DONE it; she was
waiting for this special moment, to share it with the right person. It was
more wonderful than any of her experimentations to date because it was the
true thing, the actuality. Her body fit so perfectly to his that there
wasn't any attention paid to the 975 techniques she knew or any of the
intense learning she'd done; it all came naturally to her, like she'd known
what to do even before she learned word one.
They moved in harmony together, an intertwining of bodies and souls that
felt like pure relief after the day's hardships. It lasted forever in her
mind. And then, it was done... she rested in Keiichi's arms, out of breath
and near out of her mind with joy. The look in his eyes spoke volumes that
everything she just felt, he felt as well.
"I love you, Keiichi," Belldandy whispered to him.
"And I love you, Belldandy."
...and her mischievous smile returned at last.
"Again?" she suggested. "And again and again and again? And then maybe
dinner and again and again?"
Keiichi had to laugh out loud. "You hentai!"
"Hai... you're right. I'm sorry. ...we'll skip dinner."
"That's better."
It felt just as good the second time. And the third, and the forth...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Skuld wandered through the common area, in search of dinner. Her
stomach rumbled in violent protest as she sought out something, anything...
since her oneesama was a little too occupied to cook something yummy, cup
ramen would do.
She returned, and was surprised to see Urd still groaning and fingering
herself, eyes locked on the TV screen.
"Don't you get, you know, tired?" Skuld suggested. "Or too sticky?"
"GOD, this kid is a dynamo," Urd breathed. "Belldandy's gonna be bow-
legged for weeks. I'm SO glad I put that hidden camera in her room. I KNEW
it'd eventually be a worthy investment!"
"You're a bad influence on her, you know?" Skuld glowered.
"Look who's... oooh... talking."
"I think I'd better stay around Earth for awhile," Skuld said. "I
hacked myself some vacation time, and Belldandy's gonna need someone around
to keep that dipstick Keiichi in check."
"I got a time off award for finding the bug, so I'll stay too," Urd
said. "Now get out of the way, they're getting to the good part!"
"What, again?"
"Yes, again."(*)
* THE END
Author's Footnote.
It's not over.
Okay, season one is over. But I have ideas for more of these, a second
season that's a bit more episodic, a bit crazier and with more sex. Whee!
But since I've been having trouble finishing projects lately (Starboard is on
indefinite hold, for instance) I'm going to SAY it's over now, and then I
might continue it at a later date. Sound cool? Cool.
For a complete list of all my writing online, visit my new site at
http://www.pixelscapes.com/twoflower and peruse. I'll be linking my Next Big
Project to it, and there's a hint up there already as to what it is...
Moving on...
My thanks go out to everybody who's read this far. Drop me a letter; I
appreciate your support. Writing this series has probably been the
healthiest thing I've ever done in terms of my own sexuality. A few years
ago I was pretty closeted. I didn't even tell dirty jokes, since I didn't
feel it was right to donate a large timeshare of my brain to such things, and
ESPECIALLY not to express that sort of thing in public. Now here I am
writing pr0n, and loving it, and feeling pretty damn good about myself. This
is most groovy and I'm happy I did it.
Not much else to say that I haven't already said on the website or discussion
board or whatnot. Thanks for reading, always practice safe sex, too much of
a good thing is never bad and have a nice day.
-Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
November 28, 2000
Gaithersburg, MD