Subject: [FFML] [impro] mtcff ULTRA #55 : Revenge; Lukewarm
From: "Stefan Gagne" <twoflowr@pixelscapes.com>
Date: 11/18/2000, 12:46 PM
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In a darkened room, powerful men watched a small glowing box.  

Occasionally one would make a cryptic note or whisper excitedly to a 

colleague, but for the most part they were spellbound by the flickering 

screen.



"Since you were stupid enough to join up with Jack, and have been stupid 

enough to work against Miss Tendo nearly since she took command of this 

organization... well, I think we need to send a message to the real 

fighters of Ultra."



Jack Lysias was intimidated by it all.  It wasn't the tight little room, 

or the expensive suits, or the fact that he really didn't understand 

what was happening...  No, what really unnerved Jack was the fact that 

they were here to decide his fate.  Jail was no fun at all, he had 

discovered.  Controversy just couldn't exist behind bars.



"So pretty.  Such a shame, really."



And why did his lawyers insist on showing an old Ultra tape to the 

prosecutors?  Shouldn't they be poring over their law books, finding an 

obscure loophole, or maybe checking up on the police who had arrested 

him, in search of a cop with a bias against red hair and rubber ducks?



"'Sexiest woman in Lambda' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?  

...they're still awake?  Marlo, do you mind?"



"Not at all."  



**CRUNNNK**  "Oooof"



On the other hand, this certainly seemed to be having an effect.  The 

lead prosecutor, who had been so cruelly on the Beekster's side in 

court, looked positively nauseous as he watched Team Rocket get beaten 

to a pulp.  Maybe these overpriced suits really were worth the money 

Karin had shelled out.



"Nothing like whipping a couple of pansy asses to put me in a good 

mood....  Seeing them out of commission to defend their title would be 

even better, though."



A remote control was raised, a button pressed.  The VCR stopped and the 

picture dissolved into random static.  Light switches were flipped, and 

the knot of lawyers collectively sat back in their seats.



"As you can see, gentlemen, any crimes that my client allegedly 

committed pale in comparison with the outrages perpetrated against his 

associates... outrages perpetrated by my client's primary accuser and 

her agents.  One might argue that his alleged offenses were merely the 

acts of a man defending his livelihood.



"And in any case, these charges are an incredible overreach.  No one was 

harmed in the incident.  No one was held at any location against their 

will.  The only people harmed were those who did not arrive at the event 

on time - and they merely lost the money they had spent on tickets and 

transportation.  Miss Tendo herself made out quite well from this 

incident - replay purchase rates for UltraRage Epsilon were almost twice 

as high as those for previous Ultra pay-per-views."



The lead prosecutor had recovered his composure, and shot a disapproving 

glance at Jack before responding.  "While I admit that we might have 

trouble proving thousands of cases of kidnapping, there is no doubt in 

my mind that Mr. Lysias is guilty of at least the lesser charges.  As 

for Nabiki Tendo-"



"We can help you get her.  And you haven't seen _anything_ yet."  The 

lawyer raised the remote control once again.



"Are you ready for a little... ULTRAVIOLENCE?!"



"SURE!"



***



Two bodies lay still on examination tables in a quiet, darkened room.  A 

monstrous looking machine covered with glowing status indicators hovered 

between them, ghastly mechanical arms reaching out to grasp the heads of 

its victims.  After an indeterminate amount of time, the indicators 

dimmed, the arms retracted, and one of the bodies began to stir.  A 

rested yawn changed into a tortured gasp as a door opened and the 

overhead lights switched on.



"Wakey, wakey!"



Athena sat up and opened her eyes for the second time, squinting against 

the brightness.  "How long did it take?  Did it work?"  She looked over 

to where Sie lay motionless.  "Is he all right?"



"Six days, looks like it, probably."  Washuu pulled out a hand scanner 

and proceeded to take Athena's vital signs.  "Let's see.  Metabolism up 

30 percent, psychic function up 75 percent, personality definition down 

10 percent.  Everything looks like I expected.  How do you feel?"



Athena slid off the bed onto her feet.  She stretched for a moment and 

rolled her head back and forth, then tensed her muscles.  A purple aura 

formed about her, faintly at first, but growing to nearly blinding 

brilliance as she concentrated.  She let go of the power, but her 

muscles didn't unclench for a second and the aura didn't fade right 

away.  She almost complained to Washuu about it, but just as the words 

were about to leave her mouth she realized that she could not afford any 

more delays.  "Pretty good, I guess.  Better than I expected!"



"Great!"  Washuu turned to Sie for a second to take his vitals as well.  

"He looks like I expected too, though he probably won't wake up until we 

reverse the procedure."  She turned back to Athena and looked her 

straight in the eye.  "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"



She could taste the power now, feel the raw energy coursing through her 

veins.  "I have to.  Bison is already far too powerful, and if he adds 

MewTwo's power to his own then we will never be able to face him."  

Athena smiled suddenly, and casually started juggling balls of raw 

psychic energy.  "Right now, I don't think even Protege could stop me."



Washuu looked a little dubious, but smiled and led Athena out of the 

psychic transference lab.  "At least have a little breakfast before you 

leave."  They walked down a hallway to a conveniently located kitchen.  

"How's it coming?  Washuu asked as the two entered.



Athena gasped as she saw a subdued looking Asuka scrambling eggs in a 

skillet while Mary tried to poor orange juice into hypercube shaped 

cups.  Neither was succeeding - Asuka's eggs were brown and dry looking, 

and Mary just couldn't figure out where the liquid was supposed to go 

in, but neither of them looked to upset.  Mary looked up just in time to 

see Athena flinch back at the sight of Asuka.  "Don't worry," she said 

in a quiet, serious tone, "she's a lot better now, at least while I'm 

around."



"I'm not so sure of that," Washuu said sotto voce once Mary had turned 

back to the breakfast chores.  "She still hasn't spoken a word since she 

arrived, and her nightmares are so bad, I don't think she has slept six 

hours in the last week.  Still, at least she isn't screaming 

continuously anymore.  Please, sit down.  It may not be the most tasty 

breakfast, but your body is going to burn food faster so you'll need all 

the empty calories you can get."



Athena nodded and reached for a steaming bun, which she popped whole 

into her mouth.



***



In another darkened room, evil forces plotted their next assault on the 

powers of good and light.



Well, perhaps not.  Nabiki preferred to keep her office brightly lit.  

She was a businesswoman, and her workplace was designed to radiate power 

and efficiency rather than conspiracy and deception.  Not that she 

didn't mind a little conspiracy and deception from time to time.



And while Morrigan probably counted as an Evil Force(tm), Marlo, the 

samurai, and Tarou were generally regarded as merely mean.  Moreover, 

questions of good and evil were not a part of this conversation - after 

all, in a business like Ultra there are much larger things at stake.



"Dammit Morrigan, do you have any clue how much money Sakura could sue 

us for?  You and your little stunt last week might well have cost us far 

more than your presence here earns, if Karin's lawyers weren't tied up 

with Jack's case.  Well, that's it.  If you disobey me again, you're out 

of here."



"Give her a break, Nabiki!"  Marlo leaned back on his couch and put his 

arm around Morrigan's shoulders.  "She can't help what she is.  If I 

were a sex fixated demon, I would probably kidnap cute teenage girls 

myself."



Nabiki facepalmed, and Tarou shook his head in disgust.  The Samurai 

merely looked bemused.  Morrigan smiled winningly and said, "You can't 

be that angry with me, giving me a tasty little treat like Shermie 

tonight."



"I had to do that.  If I let CHAOS have a moral victory from the 

situation, it would just encourage them to challenge me more often.  

Tonight's fight isn't about you, it's about you punishing Shermie.  Can 

you at least do that for me?"



"Ooooh!  Punishment is something I can always take care of!"



"I didn't mean - oh, never mind.  Just don't go overboard, particularly 

if Sakura shows up.  On the other hand, Marlo, please feel free to go 

was overboard as you want against Bean.  You have the headline fight 

tonight, so make sure it's a spectacular show."



Marlo pulled out an office chair, and idly twirled it on a finger.  

"Don't worry, boss.  I'll give the proles a show they'll never forget."



"Are you sure you don't want some help?  Bean is tough - he put you down 

awfully fast at Epsilon..."



"That doesn't count.  He surprised me that time.  Bean is all muscles 

and no skill, anyway.  The Furnityre Savior will run rings around him."



"The rest of you have the night off.  Wait a minute, not you, Tarou.  

You have to tape a segment with Hiroshi before the show starts, so don't 

just leave."



Haohmaru stood up and announced, "I DESIRE A MATCH!  IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO 

LONG SINCE THE PUBLIC HAS HAD A CHANCE TO GAZE UPON MY MAGNIFICENCE!"



As Nabiki checked if it was safe to pull her fingers out of her ears, 

Kunou chimed in.  "Indeed, Nabiki Tendo, in the time since we agreed to 

help each other out you have only scheduled us to fight once, and that 

never transpired in due to the scheming of that cursed sorcerer Jack.  

If you can not help us gain the glorious Lambda belt, then we have no 

further reason to associate with you."



Nabiki blinked and counted the weeks on her fingers, and realized that 

the two samurai were correct.  "Well then, I guess it's time for the two 

of you to earn your pay.  It just so happens that I have an open Lambda 

fight yet tonight, and the current champions owe me a favor."



"EXCELLENT," grinned Haohmaru.



Nabiki nodded agreement, then reached for the telephone as the fighters 

filed out of the room.  Putting the belt on the Samurai would be a Good 

Thing... but it they surely weren't capable of doing it on their own.



***



In a darkened room, powerful men sat and watched a glowing sphere.  The 

red and white ball still crackled with energy as the discorporated 

Pokemon inside struggled with its bonds.  It had taken Bison's 

scientists all week to determine the safest way to remove MewTwo from 

the master ball so that they could begin to study and siphon its power.  

What they had come up with was simple and direct.



"Are you sure this is safe?"  Sagat had seen dozens, perhaps hundreds of 

entities pass through Bison's labs, and this one was the first that was 

still putting up a fight after more than a couple of days.  "You could 

barely match its power last time."



"Yes, but now it's hurt, and probably drained from fighting the pokeball 

for almost a week.  I can face it down without any problems, and once my 

technicians begin the process of subverting its power, it will be unable 

to even think of putting up resistance."  Bison turned and addressed the 

lab manager.  "You may begin the procedure."



The lab manager in turn nodded to one of his flunkies, who pressed a 

button on his console.  A robotic arm picked up the pokeball and lifted 

it above a large tube filled with a dark, bilious fluid. It pressed the 

button on the ball, and MewTwo emerged in a burst of yellow light.



The Pokemon hovered above the tube, and locked eyes with the Psycho 

powered villain.  There was a momentary test of wills, though neither 

psychic bothered to use his powers.  After a second, MewTwo nodded its 

head and sank into the tube.  As the hatch closed above it, the Pokemon 

went limp.



"There, you see how easy that was?"



"Okay, you were right," Sagat admitted.  Bison stood up and left the 

room, Sagat following behind him.  There were still video cameras and 

technicians watching the tube, but none of them noticed as the Pokemon 

curled its tail in anticipation.



***



Athena stepped out of the portal, and came to a halt in sudden surprise.  

"Hey!  This isn't Shadowlaw headquarters."  She had emerged ringside in 

the empty Ultradome, not at all where she had expected to be.



Washuu deftly managed to avoid running into Athena's back.  "No, it's 

not.  I told you, I don't want to get in a fight with Bison right now.  

I might be able to teleport you there without him detecting me, but I'm 

not going to take that risk.  You'll have to provide your own 

transportation... or you'll have to be your own transportation.  You 

have more than enough power now to fly there on your own."



Shock and pleasure warred briefly for control of Athena's face.  

Pleasure won, and her aura flared once more as she gathered power and 

leapt into the air.  She took a couple of practice laps in the huge open 

cavern of the Ultradome, then waved farewell to Washuu and zipped down 

the service ramp.  Washuu waved back, then returned to her lab through 

the portal.



Neither of them noticed the automated, hovering camera platform which 

took off after Athena.  



***



"Hi, Daisukeeeee!"



"Hello, yourself."



"Aw, what's the matter?  Don't you like working with me?"  Sana put on 

her best hurt-puppy face.



"No, it's just that there's an awful lot of hard fights for my friends 

tonight, and I'm worried that Nabiki's up to something."



"Is there anything I can do to help?  Huh?  Huh?"



Daisuke looked at her strangely for a moment, then smiled gently.  "Not 

really, though if you promise not to rap tonight it would make me very 

happy."



"What?  Can't I rap (rap) (rap) just a itty-bitty (itty-)-"



"Please?"



Sana stuck her lower lip out.  "Okay, I promise.  But you're no fun at 

all."







                              LIVE!

                      FROM THE Ultradome!

                     THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE

                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME

                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT

                        AND IMPROFANFIC!

                        IT'S TIME FOR...



         { M A G I C A L  T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }

         {    C R O S S O V E R    F I G H T I N G      }

         {             F E D E R A T I O N              }

         {                .-----------.                 }

         {                | U-L-T-R-A |                 }

         {                `-----------'                 }

         {          http://www.mtcffultra.com           }



                 Episode 55:  Revenge; Lukewarm



                 Written by:  Kerry "Ked" Stump

             Additional writing by:  Brian Stricklin

             and supplementary humor from:  Kryptik1

Excerpts from episodes #50 and #53 by ColdFury and Brian Stricklin







Do I need to mention that the Ultradome was loud?  No?  Good.



Daisuke and Sana took their seats at the announcers' table, and Sana 

leaned forward to give the opening invocation.  "waaaaaaiii!  

ultraviolence!!!"



No one heard her.



The crowd cheered on, oblivious to the fact that the show had started.  

Sana tapped her microphone, pouted for a moment, and yelled for a 

production assistant to help her.  Predictably, without electronic 

amplification or training in the Haohmaru School of LOUD, the techs were 

unable to hear her.



She redoubled her efforts, growing more incensed as nobody paid any 

attention to her.  Even Daisuke, sitting beside her, was hunkered down 

with his fingers in his ears as the crowd continued to roar.  Finally, 

someone in the control booth figured out what was happening and quickly 

raised her microphone level.



"-SONS OF BITCHES GET YOUR GODDAMN FUGGING ACT TOG...  oopsie?"  Sana 

giggled nervously as the crowd went silent, shocked at the string of 

profanities.  "Um, ultraviolence?"



The crowd erupted once more.  There would be lectures to their children 

about proper language in public places and official protests from 

network executives later on, but Ultra was starting now, and everything 

else could wait.



"And we have a great show for you tonight!  Morrigan takes on Shermie in 

an encore of last week's unscheduled brawl!  B-ko wants a piece of Nuku 

Nuku, and tonight she'll get her chance!!  And our main event, a 

Hardcore Title challenge!  Bean's been looking for a shot at Marlo and 

tonight they'll meet right here to settle the grudge!!!  All that and 

more, tonight on UUUULLLLTRRAAAgghh-"  *cough* *cough*



Daisuke thumped Sana on the back a couple of times to help her clear the 

phlegm.  "As Sana says, there's sure to be a lot of exciting action.  

Also tonight is the official announcement of the card for Ultra Reboot 

2.0, coming later this month!  First, though, is the match between 

Morrigan and Shermie.  I see the fighters have already made their way to 

the ring, so let's get started!"



][ Gamma Match

][ Morrigan vs. Shermie

][ Fight!



Shermie hopped up and down in her corner, her long bangs almost but not 

quite bouncing up to reveal her eyes.  As she moved to the center of the 

ring she settled into her fighting stance and approached the succubus 

warily.



Morrigan glared at the former Void fighter with malice visible in her 

eyes.  "You're catching me on a bad night girl.  Nabiki just told me I 

couldn't play with my favorite toy, so I guess I'll have to take out all 

my frustrations on you."



"I'm sure I can handle it... " Shermie quietly declared, but was 

immediately proven wrong as Morrigan took to the wing and tried to take 

the girls head off.  Shermie ducked under it, but Morrigan banked back 

around in time to catch her before she fully recovered.  Shermie went 

flying into a turnbuckle, and Morrigan worked to regain altitude for her 

next attack.



Shermie stood up and turned around just in time to seeing Morrigan 

diving straight for her.  Reacting without thinking, Shermie bicycle-

kicked Morrigan over the ropes and into the audience, where overexcited 

fans tried to rip souvenirs from her scanty clothing.  It took the 

succubus a few seconds to fight free of her crazed admirers, but she 

made it back into the ring with plenty of time to spare.



"I see Shermie's been playing soccer - I've never seen that done in the 

ring before," commented Daisuke.  "So far, this looks like a pretty even 

fight."



Shermie caught her with an Electric Kiss as she came through the ropes, 

but it only seemed to make the demon madder.  Morrigan charged straight 

into the attack once again, and this time managed to grab one of 

Shermie's feet as the girl tried to counter with a kick.



"I think you spoke too soon, Daisuke!  Morrigan's got a grip that I 

don't think Shermie will be able to break!"



With an evil grin on her face, Morrigan leapt up into the air still 

holding Shermie's foot... and kept going up, and up, and up until she 

was level with the lighting walkways far above the mat.  "Let's see if 

you can fly!"



Shermie tried to gather herself for an attack, but Morrigan simply 

dropped her.  The girl fell, screaming, twenty meters to the canvas.  As 

a trained fighter, she was able to roll with some of the impact, but the 

breath was knocked out of her and she lay motionless on the mat.  The 

referee began to count, but he was interrupted when Morrigan swooped 

down and put Shermie in a vicious chokehold.



"Waiwaiwai! Yummy ultraviolence!"



By the time Shermie was alert enough to resist she had lost far too much 

breath to have a chance to break the succubus's iron grip.  She had 

almost lost consciousness when Morrigan suddenly let her go.  Shermie 

collapsed at Morrigan's feet.



"Well, that's it.  Shermie's not going to get up from that."  Daisuke 

eyed the situation nervously.  "The referee is signaling that the fight 

is over, but Morrigan doesn't look like she wants to stop."



"I'm not done with you yet.  Don't think I'll let you off that easy."  

Morrigan viciously kicked Shermie's limp form.  A few people in the 

front rows thought they could hear a rib snap.



"Oh my God!  Someone stop this now!"  Daisuke was frantic as he saw the 

newest addition to CHAOS getting pulped.



Sakura had been watching the fight from the entrance ramp, and now 

gathered herself for an attempt to save Shermie.  She tensed, and was 

just a second away from sprinting down the ramp when a large, heavy hand 

gently grasped her shoulder.  "Don't worry, I'll save your friend.  It's 

my a week for a little retribution so stay out of the way, kid, it would 

be a shame if you got hurt," Wolverine rasped.



The mutant unsheathed his claws as he stormed down towards the ring.  

Rather than leaping over the ropes he simply cut right through them, 

demonstrating their nonregulation, unblunted state.  Morrigan was too 

busy pummeling Shermie and warding off the panicking referee to notice 

her former slave's approach.



This changed rapidly as three long gashes appeared in her side.  Demon 

blood flew everywhere as she spun to face her new opponent.  The referee 

took the opportunity to drag Shermie out of the ring for medical 

attention.



"And Wolverine goes hardcore on Morrigan!  He's playing for keeps - do 

you think she has a chance to get out of this one alive, Daisuke?"



"I sincerely hope not.  Dice her, Wolverine!" he cheered.



Morrigan had been having fun.  Not a lot of fun, as she preferred 

slightly more... sophisticated means of torture than simply pounding 

someone into a bloody pulp, but all traces of merriment left her face as 

she studied the murderously angry mutant.  "I see you have returned to 

your mistress, " she snarled.



Wolverine did didn't bother to answer verbally, instead charging 

straight for her once more, leading with his deadly clause.  Morrigan 

took to the air and once more, but the wounds she had already suffered 

slowed her ascent and Wolverine was able to stick his claws straight 

through one wing and rip the delicate membrane to tatters.



Morrigan screamed in agony as she spiraled out of the ring and crashed 

in the front row.  Wolverine started after her once more, and but looked 

up and saw Lilith, Marlo, and Tarou coming down the entrance ramp for 

him.  "Don't worry," he called to Morrigan, "I'll be back for more 

later."  The mutant and leapt out of the ring, landed on one of the 

Spanish announcers, and made his escape down a service ramp.



***



"I'm not so sure about this, Ash.  I mean, we're trying to keep the bad 

guys from cheating, but isn't what we're doing almost as bad?"



"We're the good guys, Misty, don't ever forget that."  Ash's cap was 

pulled down farther than usual, casting a deep shadow over his eyes.  

"Nabiki told us all about their little scheme, and we would be 

negligent, perhaps even responsible, if we didn't take appropriate 

steps."



"[duck!]" agreed Voiduck, pleased that Ash was so easily manipulated.



"I suppose.  It just seems-"



"Shhh!  I think he's coming out!"



James emerged from the men's locker room, freshly showered.  His blue-

violet hair was even pointier than usual, having just been blown dry and 

moussed.  The white Team Rocket uniform was bleached to a blinding white 

and properly starched to eliminate those uncool wrinkles.  Tonight would 

be another glorious defense of Team Rocket's Lambda title, and Nabiki, 

despite her opposition to CHAOS fighters in general, had been kind 

enough to give them some easy opposition.  Life, not to put too fine a 

point on it, was good.



"Voiduck!  Now!"



"[VOI]," chirped Voiduck.  It waddled out into the hall and fixed its 

mournful gaze on the strutting Pokemon trainer.



James froze as Voiduck appeared in front of him.  There was time only 

for the beginning of panic to set in before the Pokemon's black aura 

flared.  James fell to his knees as the migraine erupted in his skull.



***



"Do you have a moment?"



B-Ko looked up from the workbench in her dressing room, a sharp comment 

forming on her lips... then calmed down slightly when she saw who her 

visitor was.  "I *am* a bit busy, Tendo-san," she replied, turning back 

to the BioSuit laid out on the table.  "I must make some adjustments 

before my fight with that insufferable catgirl."



"That's why I'm here, actually."  Nabiki remained leaning against the 

doorway, casually holding a small package in one hand.  "You and I have 

never really had a chance to talk since I took over Ultra."



"There hasn't been much reason to do so," B-ko admitted.  "To be sure, I 

prefer you to that uncultured oaf you replaced, but when all is said and 

done, it matters little to me who runs this... barbaric display."



"Understandable.  Out of curiosity... had you been wondering why I 

booked you against Nuku Nuku?"



The mecha designer paused.  That *had* been odd - she was going to 

finish her latest masterpiece of destruction before requesting the 

match, only to find that it had been made for her.  "Somewhat... but I 

assumed that you knew I was seeking revenge against her."



Nabiki shrugged.  "That's partly it... but remember, I have my *own* 

reasons for punishing the android."



"You mean for what happened at Epsilon?  I understood that she was only 

a minor player in that plan."



"That's irrelevant.  Anyone who aligns themselves with CHAOS - with 

*Jack* - is pretty much my enemy."  Her gaze turned calculating, 

watching B-ko as she wrote a few notes on a scratch pad.  "But then, 

you've probably never had to deal with someone like her.  Someone who 

defies you at every opportunity..."



B-ko lifted her head, her eyes focused on a not-too-distant memory.  

"...someone who conspires against you..."



"Someone who takes away things that are rightfully yours," Nabiki 

continued relentlessly.



"Someone willful and stupid, with no class or breeding."



"Someone who doesn't show the proper *respect*."



There was an abrupt *snap*, and B-ko's suddenly broken pencil fell to 

the floor.  "That filthy red-haired trollop!  I'll DESTROY her!"



Nabiki smiled.  "You know, Daitokuji-san," she began, "I think we 

understand each other better now.  I'd like you to have this, in 

recognition of our... understanding."



Puzzled, B-ko took the parcel and opened it... then stared.  "This... 

this is..."



"I'm sure I don't have to tell you what to do with that," Nabiki 

interrupted smoothly.



A malicious grin spread across B-ko's face.  "Indeed, no.  Thank you, 

Tendo-san - I'm sure we'll both greatly enjoy tonight's match."



"I'll be looking forward to it."  As B-ko stowed the package away and 

returned to her work with gusto, Nabiki left the room, wandering down 

the hall and humming a self-satisfied little tune.



***



"Um," ummed Daisuke, desperately shuffling papers on the announcer's 

desk, looking for the information he needed.  "Sana, what's the next 

fight?"



"Don't you know?  It's so so coool!  The Samurai Swordsmen are 

challenging Team Rocket for the Lambda title!  It got added to the card 

just before the show started.  Didn't anyone tell you?"



Daisuke fought off the sudden sinking sensation just long enough to 

admit, "No, no one told me.  I wonder why not..."



"And here come the Samurai!  Aren't they so handsome?"



The two swordsmen marched proudly down to the ring, ignoring the chorus 

of boos that followed them.  "BASK IN THE RADIANCE OF OUR GLORY, PEASANT 

MASSES!  DELIGHT IN THE CHANCE THAT NABIKI TENDO HAS OFFERED YOU.  AT 

LAST, THE LAMBDA TITLE WILL FALL INTO DESERVING HANDS!"



Kunou stepped up into the ring, prepared for battle.  The corner 

opposite him was noticeably empty.



][ Lambda Title Match

][ Team Rocket vs. Samurai Swordsmen

][ Fight?



The bell rang, and the referee started counting.



"Where is Team Rocket?!  Are they conceding their title?"  Sana's head 

whipped about wildly as she searched for the missing fighters.  "Eeek!" 

she screamed as Jessie ran out of nowhere up to the announcers' table, 

followed by Pikachu.



"Daisuke!  Help!!!  James was supposed to meet me on the stairs above 

the control booth for our entrance, but he never showed!"  Jessie was on 

the verge of tears.



"Pika-pi pipi CHU!"  The little yellow Pokemon was just as distressed.



"I didn't know you had a fight.  And I can't leave now-"



The referee had reached the count of ten, and he waved his hands to 

signal the end of the fight.  The bell rang, and Sana erupted.  "Ladies 

and gentlemen!!!  We have a new champion team in the Lambda division!  

Let's hear some applause for the Samurai Swordsmen!   WAAAIIII!!!"



Haohmaru lifted the Lambda belt above his head to show the crowd.  Kunou 

raised his booked high as well.  "It is shameful that our opponents 

should show their craven cowardice in such a public forum, but one can 

not blame them, for they are right to be scared of us!"  The crowd 

booed, and a few more adventurous souls began to throw things.  The 

Samurai marched out of the dome, heads held high.



Daisuke shook his head in disgust as Jessie cried on his shoulder.  

"Something stinks here..."



The UltraCam logo flashed on the Ultratron, then faded to show a 

nondescript corridor in the Ultradome... with James's crumpled form 

sprawled on the floor, the sort-of-menacing figure of Voiduck looming 

over him.



"[VOIOIOIOIDUCK]!"  The Pokemon did a silly little victory dance over 

its fallen foe, then subsided as Misty picked it up.



Ash moved into view of the camera and declared, "When I... we heard that 

Team Rocket was going to fight tonight, we knew that we had to do 

something to prevent them from cheating once again.  As you can see, we 

succeeded.  Let this be a warning - Team Pokemon will not rest until 

Ultra is a fair competition once again!"  Misty nodded agreement behind 

him, though she had a pensive look on her face.



The Ultratron went black, and Daisuke muttered, "And who do you suppose 

told them that Team Rocket was fighting?"  He looked over to see Sana 

literally bouncing in her seat.  "Why are you so happy?"



"New champions are always cool!  And we're about to find out who's going 

to be fighting at Reboot 2.0!  I can't wait!"



"Do you have no understanding of what just happened?  ...don't answer 

that."  Daisuke looked directly at the camera, and forced himself into 

Professional Announcer(tm) mode.  "Sana is right, though.  Hiroshi has 

an important announcement to make about the upcoming Ultra Reboot 2.0.  

Hiroshi?"



***



As Daisuke finished, the Ultratron lit up with a hokey-looking Ultra 

News logo, which quickly faded into a close-up of Hiroshi.  The cloned 

announcer was wearing a dark suit and fashionably loud tie, and sat 

behind a news desk.



"Big news, Ultra fans!  We've just received the card for Ultra Reboot 

2.0!  In just two weeks, these eight fighters will face-off for the 

coveted Ultra Internet Championship belt."



As Hiroshi named each fighter, his or her face flashed onto the screen 

behind him.  "Slated to fight are: Lilith Aensland, Wolverine, Athena 

Asamiya from the Psycho Soldiers, Mousse from the Jusenkyo Survivors, 

Sakura Kasugano, Marlo Semaj, James of Team Rocket, and Sagat of Bison's 

Busters.



"There will no doubt be some degree of controversy as Tifa Lockhart is 

not able to defend her title.  But with this lineup, I have no doubt 

that this season's Reboot will be even more exciting than the last one, 

even if the world doesn't end during the show.  be sure to preorder 

Ultra Reboot 2.0 through your cable company, satellite provider, or 

Ultra's official web site.



"And we have more exciting news from the trial of Jack Lysias.  Tarou 

has been covering the trial for us this week - how's Jack doing?"



Tarou's smirk was positively feral as the camera swung to face him.  

"Jack's had a very bad week.  His lawyers know his case is a loser, and 

I'm surprised that none of them have jumped ship.  And once Jack is put 

away, maybe we can find a way to send a few of those CHAOS losers after 

him.



"Here's a clip of the prosecutors, as they took a moment to sum up 

before resting their case:"



***



The lead prosecutor stiffly stood up and opened his mouth to speak.  One 

of his assistants dashed up the aisle behind him and whispered something 

in his ear.  The prosecutor paused, took a deep breath, and began again.  

This time his demeanor seemed much more relaxed, though his tone was 

angry and aggressive.



"We have shown you over the last two weeks how this man, Jack Lysias, 

orchestrated and acted out a terrorist operation on the night of 

UltraRage Epsilon.  There can be no doubt that he is guilty of the 

crimes of kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, breaking and 

entering, and criminal recklessness.  His attitude in this courtroom has 

been one of continual disrespect-"



Jack sat up in his chair, and would have objected were it not for the 

large gag stuffed in this mouth.



"And there is no doubt in my mind, that were he left on his own 

recognizance, he would commit dangerous crimes again in the future.  He 

deserves the maximum sentence, and society deserves the chance to be 

free from fear of wackos like him."



***



Tarou shook his head in mock sadness.  "For their first witness, the 

defense tried a truly incomprehensible tactic."



***



"The defense calls Mr. Duck to the stand!"



"Objection!  This witness is not even alive!"



"Squeak!"  Mr. Duck squeaked angrily.



***



"This created a minor crisis - the defense refused to let the trial 

continue without what they describe as 'critical testimony from a 

crucial witness'.  Both the prosecution and defense are going to produce 

testimony on the validity of Mr. Duck's status as a living being capable 

of testifying in the court.  Jack's defense team has called Washuu to 

testify on Mr. Duck's behalf, while the prosecution has reportedly 

contacted a rubber duck manufacturer."



Hiroshi tried to appear thoughtful for the camera.  "So how long as the 

trial expected to take?"



"No one can say for sure.  The strategies that Jack's lawyers have 

undertaken are sure to delay the trial for at least a week or two, but 

it's hard to tell what they expect to gain from it all.  It certainly 

has pissed off the prosecutors and judge."



"And it's a sure thing at this point?"



"That's what our legal experts are telling us.  I spoke with a couple of 

Ultra's corporate attorneys yesterday afternoon, and they were of the 

opinion-"



The close-up of Tarou was cut off by a sudden burst of static, and 

replaced a moment later by an extreme close-up of controversial Jack.  

His red hair glinted under bright camera lighting, spikier and more 

threatening than ever before.  "You really shouldn't believe everything 

you're told, especially when it comes from the Beekster's cronies.  What 

they don't know is that my lawyers have been showing the prosecutors 

exactly what shenanigans Nabiki has been up to since she acquired Ultra.



"I really couldn't believe it.  None of those nice men who were running 

my trial had ever watched Ultra!  And they were shocked, just shocked to 

find out just what sort of an organization she was running.  Corporate 

child abuse!  Rigging sporting events for profit!  Even consorting with 

known criminal masterminds!  I may have been controversial, but that was 

good clean fun compared to her morass of deceit and fear mongering.



"Well, that's all about to change.  I have been allowed to plead guilty 

to one charge of felony vandalism... with most of the sentence 

suspended.  In return, I will help the prosecutor's office in their new 

investigation of Miss Nabiki Tendo.  I hear that the first thing on 

their agenda is figuring out why she sold all the Ultra tickets for two 

weeks ago to Bison and Shadowlaw.  She's going to have a lot of tough 

questions to answer, and I will be around to enjoy every minute of it...



"At least once I get out of jail.  The sentence for vandalism ended 

yesterday, but unfortunately there is still a little matter of contempt 

of court charges.  The lawyers say that there still trying to figure out 

what my total in fines and jail time comes to, but I'll probably have to 

stay here for at least the next few weeks."



"Time to go, Lysias!"  The camera panned back as a uniformed prison 

guard pulled Jack away by one arm.



"It's your turn next, Nabiki!  Don't think for a moment that you'll get 

off a slightly as I did!  And the rest of you: don't give up the fight!  

Ultra will be free again someday!"



The Ultratron went blank as the pirate feed dropped out.  For a moment, 

the dome was silent.  Then scattered cheers broke out and Daisuke 

decided to seize the moment.  "You hear that, folks?  Jack is coming 

back to Ultra!"  As the crowd erupted in frenzied elation, a quick 

thinking technician in the control booth cut to a commercial.



***



(A skydiving instructor looks out the door of an airplane, then glances 

back at his student, a certain pink warrior chugging down a Sprite)



Instructor:  Ready Dan?  Just follow my lead!



Voice-Over:  What happens when you drink Sprite?  Can it give you great 

strength?  Can it make you a better skydiver?  Can it make you fly?



Dan:  Ha!  I need no parachute!  I am the mighty DAN!  OOSHA!! (With 

that, he leaps out, momentarily forgetting he can fly....)



VO:  No, but it'll still quench your thirst...



Dan:  (Panicking)  OOOOOYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAJ*BOOM*



VO:  Even if you're a legend in your own mind.



Dan:  (Weakly with wavering manly forearm)  Jiiiii.......



Instructor:  (Chugging down a Sprite as he glides to a perfect landing)  

Hang in there, Dan.  You'll get it soon....



VO:  Image is Nothing.  Obey Your Thirst.  Sprite.



***



The traditional portal opened, and two figures stepped through, one over 

twice the height of the other.  Krillin looked around, noting the 

fighting terrain - some set of ruins or other, with about equal amounts 

of open space and heavy cover.  Nothing terribly exciting.



He glanced upwards.  "You ready?"



"Hai!"  The android hopped eagerly from one foot to the other.  "Nuku 

Nuku is ready to play!"



"...right."



A sudden self-confident laugh reverberated across the ruins.  "Indeed?  

I hope, then, that you're also ready to be thoroughly humiliated!"



As the last echoes died away, they were replaced by the thunder of a 

mighty engine roaring to life.  A moment later, B-ko and her latest 

battle-mecha rolled into view...



...which, at first glance, wasn't anything much.  It was a truck, an 

eighteen-wheeler to be precise, with a cherry-red cab and a silver 

trailer.  B-ko herself was behind the wheel of the cab, clad in her 

skimpy yet apparently protective BioSuit.  Without further ado, the rig 

rolled closer to Krillin and Nuku Nuku; the trailer disengaged halfway 

there, leaving the cab to coast to a stop in front of them.



And then, with a series of metallic grinding noises, the vehicle changed 

shape.  Armored plates split apart, segments twisted and locked into 

place, and the entire thing seemed to grow in size until a giant 

humanoid robot loomed over the android and the noseless monk, easily 

forty feet tall.



Another chortle of laughter emerged from the mecha's external speakers.  

"You will pay for injuring my darling Sephiroth, you horrible creature, 

and this will be the instrument of your destruction!  Prepare to face 

the full fury of my latest original creation, the Sakamura Beta-Five-

Seven!"



After a moment's pause, Nuku Nuku raised a hesitant finger.  "Ano..."



"I see you've been awed into silence," B-ko said smugly.  "And well you 

should be!  The world has never imagined such a power as the Sakamura.  

You will be powerless before its titanium-reinforced plating, the 

colossal strength of its fusion-powered servos, its-"



"Ano... that's Optimus Prime."



There was a pause, then: "...what?"



"It's Optimus Prime.  From that American cartoon.  Papa-san has a lot of 

the tapes in his research collection."



"It... it's the Sakamura Beta-Five-Seven."



"It's Optimus," Nuku Nuku insisted.  "Look, it's got the same colors and 

everything.  It's even got that funny symbol on the front, see?"



B-ko's voice was, by now, weak with denial.  "No, that's... that's the 

new Daitokuji Corporation insignia.  We started using it weeks ago."



"Well, if you say so, but it *looks* like-"



"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"  B-ko glared down at her opponent, then 

turned her attention to Krillin.  "I'll be right back."



"Uh, sure.  Whatever you say."



The Sakamura stomped off, trailing angry mutters with every step, and 

concealed itself behind a small pyramid.  As Krillin and Nuku Nuku 

waited, they could hear the canopy of the mecha open, shortly followed 

by an odd rattling sound.  The muttering continued unabated, and was 

soon joined by the distinctive hiss of a spray can.



A few minutes later, B-ko appeared again, still behind the controls of a 

giant robot.  Her 'new' mecha looked almost exactly the same as the 

previous one, except that it had been crudely and hastily painted green.  

Blotches of red and white were still visible under the partial paint 

job, though the insignia was completely covered.



The mecha halted in the middle of the ruins' courtyard, posing 

dramatically.  "Nuku Nuku," B-ko's voice rang out, "be thankful that 

your demise was even slightly delayed... but now, you are surely doomed 

as you face the Sakamura Beta-Five-Se... I mean, Eight!"



Krillin's expression was composed of equal parts disbelief and 

bewilderment.  "You gotta be kidding me.  That is just completely-"



"Amazing!"  The android's eyes were wide with astonishment.  "How did 

you build a whole new robot so fast?!"  Krillin fell over.



Another confident laugh echoed across the ruins.  "Foolish catgirl!  You 

should never underestimate the heir to the Daitokuji empire!"



The referee stood back up, rubbing his bald head in an effort to ward 

off a growing headache.  "...Let's just start this thing before it gets 

any worse," he decided.



][ Omega match: 

][ Nuku Nuku vs. B-Ko Daitokuji

][ Fight!



B-Ko wasted no time.  "Plasma cannon online!"  The Sakamura reached out 

one crudely painted arm, and a huge rifle-like weapon seemed to appear 

from nowhere, drawn from the subspace pocket that contained it.  It 

opened fire, sending a barrage of fiery green bursts toward the 

schoolgirl android.  Nuku Nuku quickly dodged away, rolling behind an 

ancient statue - Krillin was less agile and received the brunt of the 

attack, though came out of it with little more than singed clothing.



The two fighters failed to notice this as their battle continued.  "Come 

out and play, android!"  B-ko shouted, and sent another round of plasma 

bursts toward the statue.  The blast struck home, though was less than 

effective; while it did destroy the statue, it also created a large 

cloud of dust, concealing her opponent until she leapt out and sprinted 

behind a collection of crumbling walls.  A third barrage failed to flush 

out the catgirl, and B-ko tightened her grip on her controls.



"So... hide and seek, is it?"  The mecha designer grinned madly.  "I'm 

sorry, but I don't indulge in such games.  Let's clear the playing 

field, shall we?  Micro-MIRV launchers engaged!"



A pair of missile-launching arrays rose from the Sakamura's frame, one 

on each shoulder, and almost immediately released their full payload.  

As the miniature rockets sped toward their target, the warhead of each 

one split into five smaller missiles, which wobbled slightly before 

continuing toward their destination.



Two seconds later, the ancient buildings were hit by approximately three 

hundred small but intense explosions, reducing them to little more than 

rubble and dust.



B-ko didn't wait for the dust cloud to clear, however.  She watched the 

Sakamura's motion detector alertly; when it blipped, she immediately 

launched another barrage of plasma bolts.  The green flames roared 

through the air, cutting through the dust and coming within an inch of 

Nuku Nuku.



Now revealed, the android abandoned her attempt to sneak up on her 

opponent, and instead charged full tilt toward the Sakamura.  B-ko 

filled the air with high-energy projectiles, but all of them failed to 

connect with the dodging, leaping catgirl.  As the distance between the 

fighters closed rapidly, the giant robot returned its weapon to subspace 

and reached out, ready to crush its foe in its bare metallic hands.



It wasn't to be, however.  Once within striking distance, Nuku Nuku 

proceeded to hammer the Sakamura with a series of unscientific but 

powerful punches.  The robot staggered back under her assault, dents 

appearing in its armored hull as the catgirl veritably danced around it, 

pounding it repeatedly and laughing with innocent glee.



For her part, B-ko was having less of a good time.  She'd outfitted the 

Sakamura with a dozen different weapons, each capable of reducing the 

catgirl to her component atoms, but with a certain lack of foresight 

she'd neglected to include any that could be used at close range.  This 

point was driven home when, with a particularly fierce punch, Nuku Nuku 

drove her fist through the Sakamura's chest plate... and when it stopped 

moving, the android's small but potent fist was mere inches from B-ko's 

face.



Almost immediately after Nuku Nuku extracted her arm, a high, insistent 

siren began to wail within the Sakamura.  B-ko's eyes suddenly went 

wide, and she desperately scanned the controls.  "Wha... what is..."  A 

flashing red light caught her attention, and the young inventor paled.  

"The... the plasma containment unit is disabled!  No!"



Desperately, she activated the Sakamura's escape hatch, leaping out and 

leaving Nuku Nuku behind to cheerfully smash her mecha.  She hadn't gone 

more than a few yards, however, when a concussive blast struck her 

between the shoulder blades, lifting her up and throwing her across the 

courtyard.  The Sakamura had exploded, creating a massive pillar of fire 

that lit up the ruins.



As the light began to fade, B-ko lifted herself painfully onto one elbow 

and surveyed the rising cloud of smoke.  Finally, after a long moment, 

she allowed herself a smile.  "She... she maybe have destroyed... the 

Sakamura," she managed, sitting up, "but now she has most certainly been 

destroyed!"  The mecha designer clasped her hands together, and a single 

grateful tear welled in her eye.  "Sephiroth-sama, my darling, you have 

been avenged!  Now our love can truly bloom without fear of  

interruption.  Our passion will blaze through the annals of history!  

We... we..."



Her sentence trailed off even as the final traces of plasma dispersed 

into the atmosphere, leaving behind a rather surprised android.  With 

metal fragments strewn around her feet, Nuku Nuku blinked once or twice, 

her fighting outfit for the day (jeans and a rather cheerful CHAOS T-

shirt) tattered but more-or-less intact.  For a moment, she seemed

disappointed at the sudden lack of a playmate... then she beamed happily 

and turned toward a rather impressed Krillin, raising her arms 

triumphantly.  "Yahoo!  Nuku Nuku won again!  Time to go home and take a 

nap."



B-ko stood up, her teeth grinding together in frustration.  "Damn you... 

why won't you just DIE like a good little girl?!"



Nuku Nuku stopped in mid-skip, and turned around slowly.  "B-ko-san?"



Composing herself, B-ko haughtily flipped her hair back.  "Hmph!  You've 

done well, Nuku Nuku.  But you see, that was just the first round.  I 

wanted to avoid this, but since you've proven to be so stubborn, you 

have forced my hand.  You will most assuredly regret your juvenile and 

inconsiderate actions!"



"Nuku Nuku doesn't understand, but if you still want to fight, then I'm 

ready, too!"



B-ko raised a scolding finger, reaching into a pouch at her waist with 

the other hand.  "Not so fast, you brainless catgirl!  I have something 

you need to see first, something I think you'll recognize."



The android tilted her head slightly.  "Eh?"



With a flourish, B-ko produced a small, irregular object, holding it out 

toward Nuku Nuku with a malicious smile.  The mere sight of the thing 

was enough to make the android gasp and take an uncertain step 

backwards.  "You... what are you doing with-?!"



B-ko laughed.  "What's wrong, Nuku Nuku-chan?  Why don't you attack me?"



"That's not fair!  B-ko-san, you're mean!"



(Back in the Ultradome, the audience was filled with confused murmurs, 

and Daisuke was rubbing his forehead.  "I don't believe this...")



With a smirk, B-ko lifted one arm and pointed her wrist at the object 

she held.  "Fairness is for the weak!  And I suggest you tread 

carefully," she added, bringing her Akagiyama Missile launchers online 

with an audible hum, "or the duck, as they say, 'gets it'."



Nuku Nuku was near to tears.  "Mister Duck-san!" she shouted.  "Don't 

worry - I'll save you!"  The rubber toy in B-ko's grasp was speechless, 

paralyzed by fear (or maybe just unable to talk because it was, well, a 

rubber toy).



"Oh, will you, now?"  B-ko produced another item from the pouch, this 

one a small circular device.  "That may be a bit difficult, you know."  

She pressed the device onto the top of her hostage's head, where it 

immediately adhered and began to blink rhythmically.



A sudden metallic sound behind her made Nuku Nuku turn, only to see the 

Sakamura's detached trailer split open and unfold into what could only 

be described as a mobile weapons platform.  Guns and missiles of every 

description bristled from the platform... and after a moment's 

uncertainty, they all swiveled and focused on the duck in B-ko's grasp.



As Nuku Nuku gasped, making an unusually quick (for her) connection, B-

ko laughed again.  "Nuku Nuku-chan!  I realize that you're a cat, and 

not a dog.  Nevertheless..."  She pulled her arm back, duck in hand, 

then snapped it forward in a quick throwing motion.  "...FETCH!"



It was an impressive throw, considering that the projectile was a hollow 

rubber object, and covered quite a considerable distance.  As Nuku Nuku 

bounded after it, B-ko pointed toward her.  "Salvo One!  FIRE!"



The weapons platform erupted, launching several dozen missiles and 

uncountable energy blasts.  Each one came within a hair's breadth of the 

spinning, tumbling duck, and the occasional explosion threw it forward 

on its journey.  Nuku Nuku, however, wasn't quite as lucky, often ending 

up on the receiving end of the attacks as she tried to catch up with the 

toy.



Finally, dodging through a fiery burst of shrapnel, she put on an extra 

burst of speed and caught her target - this left her open for the 

platform's final shot, sending her sprawling into a pile of rubble.  

Battered and gently smoldering, the android picked herself up painfully 

but triumphantly.  "I got you!  You're safe now."



*Sqwark!*



She blinked twice.  "Eh?!"  She peered down at the rubber bath toy; now 

that she had a closer look, she realized that it wasn't quite the same 

shade of yellow, and it wasn't as comfortably worn from untold hours of 

shoulder sitting as she would have expected.  "You're not Mister Duck-

san!"



B-ko laughed, loud and long.  "That's right, Nuku Nuku-chan - what 

you're holding is, in fact, a *decoy*!"



"What?!"



The young inventor raised her arm with a smirk.  "Salvo Two!  FIRE!"



Unable to get up in time to escape from the hail of weapons fire, Nuku 

Nuku quickly disappeared from view, pummeled by the barrage of missiles 

and bullets and other esoteric projectiles.



Eventually the salvo ceased, and Nuku Nuku could be seen, lying at the 

bottom of a smoking crater.  Krillin began the obligatory ten-count, but 

it was clear that the android wouldn't be getting up any time soon - he 

finished the count, then floated over to the self-satisfied young woman 

nearby and raised her hand.  "The winner by a knock-out... B-ko!"



(In the Dome, Daisuke sighed.  "Well, a sneaky but legal move by B-ko 

has given her a-")



"Salvo Three!  FIRE!"



("What?!")



As Krillin watched in disbelief, the platform let loose another barrage 

of attacks, which slammed into Nuku Nuku's motionless form with unerring 

accuracy.  B-ko laughed again, the gleam of madness in her eye.  "*This* 

is what happens to those who would dare hurt my Sephiroth!  Salvo Four!  

FIRE!"



No sooner had the last shot been fired from the platform than a new 

series were issued forth... and B-ko didn't stop there.  At her command, 

two more salvos were launched, tossing the catgirl's body to and fro 

like a rag doll.



"Yes!" B-ko crowed.  "Destroy her!  Leave nothing left!  Salvo Seven!  

FI-"



A huge explosion sounded behind her, and she whirled about just in time 

to see a second energy disc slice into the platform.  This was enough to 

finish what the first one started, and the platform disintegrated as its 

stockpile of missiles exploded in one titanic chain reaction.



Krillin glared at B-ko, a sphere of energy forming in his hand.  "That's 

ENOUGH," he growled.  "You've won.  Fine.  But if you do one more thing 

to her... I'm gonna make you wish you hadn't."



She narrowed her eyes, then shrugged carelessly.  "Very well, then.  I 

suppose justice has been served."  She sauntered away, and was soon 

whisked away by a dimensional portal.



***



Athena blazed down a corridor, idly blasted a security camera, and then 

forced her power level down to hide as a band of Shadowlaw thugs ran by.  

The bad news was that Shadowlaw HQ was on crisis footing.  Alert sirens 

blared a steady alarm, interrupted only by an occasional panicked 

intercom announcement.  The good news was that Athena wasn't responsible 

for that state of affairs - as near as she could tell, no one had seen 

her enter the base (though the big hole she had blasted through the 

ceiling must have been noticed pretty quickly).



A distant explosion shook the floor, but Athena barely noticed it.  She 

wrenched open a nearby security elevator and stepped into the shaft, 

letting gravity take her down fifteen stories to the bottom level of the 

base.  As she approached the bottom, she tried to slow her descent with 

her enhanced power but even as she reached for the required energy she 

could feel her body involuntarily shifting in preparation to roll 

through the landing.  The dissonance between what she wanted and what 

she was actually doing resulted in nothing at all being done... and she 

slammed into the concrete floor, creating a crater.



When she woke up, she found herself standing over the assorted mangled, 

unconscious, and/or dead bodies of a Shadowlaw guard troop.  She was 

panting heavily and her muscles ached, but she could feel strength 

returning and even increasing as she became more alert.



A door in front of her was marked "Psycho Experimentation Lab B/1" and 

covered with just about every warning symbol Athena had ever seen.  

Biohazard signs battled with radioactivity symbols, hardhat and goggle 

requirements were squeezed between "No Smoking" signs and Spice Girls 

posters.  Athena blithely strode through the door into the workspace 

beyond.



Not too long ago, this room had been Bison's personal playground.  Not 

any longer.  Smoke rose form crushed control consoles, and disturbingly 

thick liquids fountained from recycling units built into smashed 

lifeform containment units.  Something squelched underfoot as she moved 

further into the room.  Athena glanced down, and went pale as she 

realized that she was striding through human entrails.



The center of the room was a sphere of destruction five meters in 

radius.  She thought there was some sort of machinery smashed into the 

bottom of the crater, but there was no way to tell for sure and no 

reason to really care.  Looking up, she saw that the explosion had 

trashed the rooms above the laboratory as well.  There was a hole in the 

far wall, slightly larger than man-sized.  As she concentrated, she 

could feel Psycho Power being used in the hole's general direction, 

though it had to be hundreds of meters away.  Athena took only a moment 

to decide:  she sprinted through the hole and prayed that it was MewTwo 

and not Bison at the far end of this trail.



A battered camera platform bearing the Ultra logo limped after her, 

occasionally correcting its course to align its antennas for a burst 

transmission to a commercial satellite thousands of miles overhead.



***



"What do you think did that?"



"Probably MewTwo.  Get the boss on the phone - we might be able to get 

some usable footage out of this yet tonight."



***



Washuu walked into the family room in a bad mood, but she smiled as she 

saw Gally, Mary, and Asuka all huddled together on the couch watching 

Ultra.



Gally looked up from the television and nodded a hello.  "Shh.  I think 

Mary's asleep.  How's Nuku Nuku?"



"B-ko did a number on her, but she's plenty tough.  I expect she'll be 

on her feet later today."  Washuu kneeled down beside Asuka, and asked, 

"How are you doing?"



Asuka smiled sadly, and just shook her head.  Gally observed, "She was 

pretty excited earlier during Nuku Nuku's fight, but I think she's about 

to doze off too."



"I wasn't so sure she should watch Ultra so soon... but maybe it's good 

to give her something she can recognize from happier times.  Is there 

room left on the couch?"



"I think so, if you can get Asuka to scoot over a little I won't have to 

disturb Mary."



***



"And now, the main event!  Bean Bandit challenges Marlo Semaj for the 

Hardcore belt!  WAAAIII!  Ano, who do you think will win, Daisuke?"



Daisuke snorted in disgust.  "Well, let's see.  Marlo is openly allied 

with Nabiki, so I imagine that he'll probably win."



"I don't understand!  What does that have to do with the fight?"



"Are you really that blind?  Anyway, even without that advantage, I 

suspect Marlo is the better fighter - certainly he's the better martial 

artist.  If Bean wants to win, he's going to have to surprise Marlo 

somehow."



"We'll find out the answer soon, since they're both about to enter the 

Ultradome!"



Bean stepped between the ropes, waving to the (mostly) cheering crowd.  

He straightened his jacket and popped his huge knuckles with a sound 

like that of automatic weapons fire.  He took a moment to look for Tifa.  

She was nowhere to be seen, so Bean shrugged his shoulders and put on a 

tough-guy look as Marlo entered the Ultradome.



The Furnityre Savior took his time coming down the entrance ramp, 

pausing on occasion to sign a folding chair or kitchen table offered by 

one of his fans.  The mix of boos and cheers rose in intensity as he 

came ringside and displayed his Hardcore belt proudly overhead.  He 

tossed it to a waiting flunkie, then vaulted into the ring.  "You wanted 

me:  here I am," he taunted the Bandit.  "Let's see if you take as good 

as you can give!"



Bean's face twisted into an amused sneer.  "You have no clue at all what 

you're getting into, do you?"



][ Hardcore Title match

][ Bean Bandit vs. Marlo Semaj

][ Fight!



As the bell rang, Bean charged forward to meet his opponent.  Marlo 

whipped out an ottoman to block the Bandit's first, massive punch.  To 

his surprise, Bean's fist went straight through the overgrown footstool 

and tagged him in the stomach.  Bean stepped back and shook the antique 

off of his arm while Marlo struggled to recover his breath.



"And Bean starts the match by using his one solid advantage - he's 

probably the strongest fighter in Ultra, excepting Omega."



By the time Bean stepped forward to attack again, Marlo was ready.  As 

the Bandit wound up for another punch, the Furnityre Savior simply 

dropped a refrigerator on him.  Marlo turned away, satisfied with 

himself.  "Feh.  No skill at all."



"Who needs skill?" grunted Bean.  Marlo spun back around to face his 

unsquashed opponent.  Bean was down on one knee, but had managed to 

catch the appliance over his head with both hands.



"Wai!" waied Sana.  "Look at those muscles!  Daisuke, can you catch 

heavy appliances like that?"



Daisuke muttered something about dropping refrigerators that the 

microphone didn't quite catch.



Marlo eeped! and jumped aside as Bean tossed the refrigerator back at 

him.  Well, if brute force wasn't going to do the trick, Marlo would 

have to do it the old fashioned way - he knew that he was faster than 

this muscle-bound brute in front of him.  Pulling out the old standard - 

a metal folding chair - he went to work.



Bean raised his arms to try to ward off Marlo's onslaught.  Whack!  

Clang!  Crunk!  The continuous rain of blows mostly were absorbed by 

Bean's armored jacket, but he could fell Marlo setting him up for one 

big blow...



The chair swung up in a perfect uppercut, and Bean went flying over the 

ropes.  Marlo followed through, golf-style, and grinned as he saw his 

opponent's head bounce off the metal rail separating the crowd from the 

ring area.



"And Marlo gets all Tiger Woods on Bean's ass!"  Sana stood up and 

cheered.  "Can he make the tap-in for the win?"



Bean used the rail to pull himself to his feet.  He took one unsteady 

step before Marlo slid in front of him, folding chair at the ready.



Marlo sprung into action once again, and it looked for a moment like 

Bean could not defend himself.  Then he half-stumbled, half-spun inside 

Marlo's guard and got a one-handed grip just above the teenager's left 

elbow.  He hauled Marlo off his feet, ignoring the frantic, but 

ineffective kicks and punches raining on his head and torso.  Bean took 

a moment to center himself, then backhanded Marlo with as much force as 

he could find.



Marlo dimly perceived himself flying far above the audience's heads.  He 

blacked out momentarily, but was rudely jerked back to consciousness 

when he landed on a drink vendor and cold, sticky fluids sprayed 

everywhere.



"I don't think I've *ever* seen someone hit that hard," commented 

Daisuke, eyes wide.  "I can't believe Marlo's getting back up!"



As Marlo struggled to his feet, Bean stood panting, trying to regain his 

normally cool composure.  Marlo finally managed to stand up, but a wave 

of dizziness overwhelmed him.  He fell to his knees and puked up his 

last two meals as Bean started lumbering in his direction.



Marlo finally managed to really stand just in time to take Bean's boot 

right in his stomach.  He stumbled back, and reached for a piece of 

furniture to defend himself with.  He could feel the Lazy Boy he wanted 

and tried to bring it out of FurnitureSpace... and blinked in surprise 

as nothing happened.  He tried for a folding chair to block Bean's 

incoming fist... and was knocked flat, thin air not being an effective 

blocking instrument.



Bean reached down to pick up the fallen Furnityre Savior, but Marlo 

rolled away, got to his feet, and promptly ran away down the service 

ramp.  Bean shrugged, and jogged after him.



***



"The Hardcore title has left the building!" enthused Sana.  "But that's 

okay, since those nifty UltraCams will let us keep an eye on the 

action!"



"One should be reaching the scene of the fight right about... now."  

Daisuke pointed to the Ultratron.



***



Marlo tried desperately to access his furniture as he made his way 

through the service corridors.  He could tell it was right _there_, 

literally in his hands, but whenever he tried to pull it into realspace 

it would evaporate and a wave of nausea would wash over him.  He could 

hear Bean lumbering along behind him and was pleased to know that even 

when hurt he could outpace his opponent.



Left at one corridor, right at the next, through a random fire exit...  

and Marlo found himself in the underground section of the Ultradome's 

parking garage.  He shrugged his shoulders and started upwards.



By the time he reached the first sub-basement Marlo was beginning to 

feel halfway normal.  He tried brandishing a loveseat, and grinned 

viciously as the overstuffed fuzzy purple chair materialized in his 

hands.  He tossed it aside and looked for Bean... and realized that it 

had been a minute since he had heard the Bandit behind him.



"It's no use hiding, Bean!  We both know who the champion here is!"  

Marlo retraced his steps down into the depths of the garage.  He 

cautiously scanned left and right, making sure not to cede the advantage 

of surprise.  In the distance he heard tires squeal... but dismissed it 

as random street noise.



Bean knew he probably could have found a better car if he had looked a 

moment longer, but the souped-up Civic was complete with keys left in 

the ignition and he didn't want to give Marlo any more time than he had 

to.  He revved the engine and slid the compact car around the corner.  

Directly ahead, facing the wrong way, was Marlo.



Marlo spun just in time to see the small blue two-door accelerating 

straight for him.  He leapt straight up, and bounced off of the 

windshield and over the car.  He landed on his butt and dazedly watched 

as Bean came to a spinning stop and began to line up for another attack.



This time, Marlo was able to roll out of the way.  Bean was prepared for 

this, though, and had brought the car to a screeching halt just beyond 

Marlo.  He engaged the reverse gear, and caught Marlo by surprise.  The 

Furnityre Savior twisted away, but his left hand smacked against the 

rear bumper and he could feel several fingers dislocate.  Bean continued 

backwards down the ramp a ways, creating distance for his next run.



Marlo moved to the center of the drive, cradling his left hand.  His 

expression was one of pain and intense concentration as he set himself 

for Bean's next attack.



Bean gunned the engine and smoked his tires as he tried once more to run 

down his opponent.  Marlo held his ground, and at the last moment heaved 

a concrete picnic table in front of him.  Bean slammed on the brakes, 

but it was too late - he smashed into the table, totaling the car.  He 

was thrown into the air bag, and sat stunned in the silence that follows 

every wreck.



Marlo wasn't doing much better - the picnic table weighed as much as the 

Civic, but the car had a lot of speed and the table wasn't bolted down.  

The concrete table slammed into the teenager at ten or fifteen 

kilometers per hour, and Marlo went down hard.



Bean staggered out of the car as Marlo got to his feet.  The Bandit was 

shaking his head, trying to clear his ringing ears.  Marlo was obviously 

hurt - his face was bloody and bruised, and his left arm hung limply at 

his side - but he screamed wordlessly in defiance and raised a sofa over 

his head in preparation for Bean's inevitable attack.



Bean lumbered forward, intent on finishing the fight.  He moved in to 

punch as Marlo tried to heave his sofa at him and -



"FIRE2!"



The sofa exploded in a ball of flame.  Bean was thrown back a couple of 

meters, but Marlo, already braced for a blow, managed to keep his feet.  

Both turned to face up the ramp, where Tifa stood, glowing with rage and 

power.



Marlo charged Tifa, pulling out another folding chair as he ran.  The 

chair froze and shattered as she hit it with an Ice spell, then she 

moved to meet his attack with an impressive limit break combo.



When the dust settled, Tifa stood over Marlo's prone form, a satisfied 

look on her face.  "Take that, Beekster.  Shut me out of Reboot, will 

you?"  Her mood was spoiled, though, by the slow, sarcastic clapping 

that echoed from a far corner of the garage.



"Congratulations," said Nabiki, as she emerged from behind a minivan.  

Tarou and Dark Schnieder flanked her as she walked towards the fighters.  

"Your boyfriend was winning, and you interfered.  Guess who gets to keep 

the Hardcore belt?"



Tifa nearly Lightning2'd Nabiki, but Bean stopped her just in time.  

"Don't, Teef.  Not with _them_ here."  



Tifa swallowed her pride, but before stalking away she said, "I hope you 

know you've made an enemy today, boss lady.  Don't think for a moment 

that you won't regret this."  Bean limped after her, anger and 

disappointment evident in his every move.



***



"What did I tell you?  With Nabs on his side, how could Marlo lose?"



"I guess..."  Sana pouted for a moment.  "That doesn't really seem fair, 

though!"



Daisuke casually pounded his head on the desk several times.



"So that it for Ultra tonight, folks!  We'll see you next week, and 

don't forget-"



"Hold on a second, Sana."  Daisuke pressed his hand against the earpiece 

and concentrated for a moment.  "I've just gotten word that we may have 

one more fight tonight!  Remember last week, when Rei beat MewTwo, and 

captured him with a pokeball?  Well, Athena Asamiya has gone to 

Shadowlaw Headquarters in an attempt to rescue the Pokemon!  We've had 

an UltraCam following her the whole time, and it appears that she has 

just found MewTwo... in the middle of another battle with EVA-00!



"The fight is unsanctioned, since we can't get a referee there in time, 

but we can show you what's happening.  This is live, folks!"



***



][ Unofficial Omega brawl

][ Fight!



EVA-00 chased MewTwo across the floor of a huge hangar bay.  The psychic 

Pokemon occasionally would turn and blast the Evangelion, but the 

psychic bolts merely spanged off the AT-field.  Athena kept pace with 

them as they crossed the kilometer-long enclosed space, but both 

combatants ignored her presence.



The intercom system crackled to life.  "Surrender now, or die, MewTwo!"  

It was Bison, and he sounded angry.



*Surrender and submit to your domination?  I think not.*  MewTwo's 

psychic reply was powerful, but weary.  *And I very much doubt those are 

my only choices.*



"Very well.  Rei, the being you are chasing is an Angel!  It must be 

destroyed.  Do you understand?"



"yes, sir."  The Evangelion picked up its pace, gaining a few steps on 

the fleeing Pokemon.  MewTwo ducked under a progressive knife slash, and 

zipped back between EVA-00's legs.



As the Evangelion skidded to a halt, MewTwo sized up the situation.  A 

blindingly bright ball of light grew between its paws, then flew up at 

the ceiling.  Before the debris even reached the floor, MewTwo had 

zipped up through its improvised escape route.  EVA-00 crouched and 

leapt up after it.  The Evangelion was able to grab the edge of the hole 

and pull itself through.



Athena concentrated for a moment, then followed with a flare of purple 

ki.  The Ultra camera floated up behind her, unable to keep pace.



When the camera finally emerged from the hole, it found itself a hundred 

meters behind EVA-00 and MewTwo on a flat, grassy plain.  There was a 

small village in the far distance, and the sun was setting.  The 

fighters cast long shadows which seemed to roil and waver as the wind 

blew the long grass about.



MewTwo tried to fly away, but the Evangelion was too fast for it.  

Realizing this, the Pokemon turned to fight.  It energized a spherical 

shield, and cast down the metaphorical gauntlet.  *Just because you are 

a victim of Bison's manipulations does not mean I will go easy on you 

this time.*



Rei refused to rise to that.  "die," she merely said, and reached out to 

grab the Pokemon.



MewTwo did not dodge.  Rather, it flew inside Rei's swing to land on the 

EVA's shoulder.  Angry purple hexagons hissed and spit as the AT-field 

rubbed against MewTwo's psychic barrier.  *After you trapped me I had 

some time to ponder the question of this marvelous shield, girl.  I 

think I found the answer.*  MewTwo's right paw grew a halo of black 

energy, and it plunged it straight into the center of an AT-field 

hexagon.  *What do you think?*



The entire AT-field flashed for a moment, and then disappeared with a 

deafening crack.  Rei screamed in agony from the psychic whiplash.  The 

Evangelion's arms flailed about wildly for a moment as the giant mecha 

lurched backwards.  After a moment it regained its balance, and looked 

about wildly for its tormentor.



MewTwo was still airborne, but its barrier was down and its limbs hung 

loosely.  Rei stepped up to the Pokemon and grabbed it with one giant 

hand.  She squeezed, hard, then threw MewTwo to the ground.  It bounced 

once, skidded a few meters, and did not get back up.



EVA-00 prepared to stomp on the fallen Pokemon.  The giant foot started 

to come down... and the Evangelion was blown off its feet by a huge 

blast from Athena.  EVA-00 landed on its back, but quickly climbed to 

its feet and searched for its new opponent.



Athena stood her ground and prepared another attack.  She gathered her 

power and screamed as the ball of energy sped towards the EVA.  Rei 

braced herself against the attack, and when it hit it bounced off the 

reformed AT-field and dug a long trench in the field.



EVA-00, secure behind its shield, walked right up to Athena and booted 

her across the field.  She came down, hard, almost half a kilometer 

away.



Satisfied that there were no threats left, Rei turned her attention back 

to MewTwo.  Once more, she prepared to grind the unmoving Pokemon into a 

pulp.  This time, she halted at the sound of a familiar voice.  "I can't 

let you do that, Rei."  It was Shinji, in EVA form.  "My father is dead.  

The man who you obey now is an imposter, and the creature you're trying 

to kill is no Angel."



"i think it is... and i know you are."  EVA-00's foot began its descent 

once more... and Shinji tackled his one-time ally.  The two EVA's rolled 

down a slight incline, and came to rest in a heap at the bottom of the 

slope.  Shinji was on top of the pile, and he moved to try to pin EVA-00 

to the ground.  Rei was not going to let him do that:  she headbutted 

Shinji off of her.



The two Evangelions stood up.  "Give it up, Rei," warned Shinji.  "You 

know that EVA-01 was always more powerful.  I don't want to hurt you."



"i have learned some new tricks.  you are the one who will die.  psycho 

crusher!"  EVA-00 flew forward in a spiraling nimbus of fierce purple 

energy.  Shinji's AT-field collapsed as Rei's attack struck home, and he 

blacked out as the Psycho power unleashed its fury on his Evangelion 

body.



Rei pulled out her progressive knife once more and leaned over for the 

coup de grace.  A ball of Psycho power bouncing off her AT field drew 

her attention, and she turned around to see Athena floating in mid air, 

once again ready to do battle.  "didn't I already kill your ass, little 

girl?"



...except something was wrong with this picture.  It was indeed Athena 

Asamiya's _body_ but the posture it showed was not Athena's linear, 

defensive stance.  Rather, it was wide open, ready for spectacular, 

flashy moves.  The expression on the girl's face was founded on a 

frighteningly huge grin, rather than the pinched, worried smile Athena 

had adopted through these last few stressful months.  And when she 

spoke, her voice had an unexpectedly deep, rough timbre.  "Who are you 

calling a girl?!?"



"whatever.  psycho-"



"Eeeeaaaaarrrrgh!  Die!  Die!  DIIIE!"  In a flash of crimson flame, 

Asuka's twisted, scabrous Evangelion form fell from the sky and landed 

on EVA-00.  Their AT fields fought one another for a second, then Rei's 

collapsed once more as the demonic energy took advantage of Psycho 

power's corruptible nature.  Asuka, despite being smaller than EVA-00, 

managed to grab it around the chest in a titanic bear hug.  As she began 

squeezing, Asuka yelled, "No one gets to kill Shinji except me!!!  You 

can't do it!  He's MINE!  All mine!"



EVA-00's chest armor cracked and split under the pressure, and Rei 

screamed as she sympathetically felt as if all her ribs had snapped at 

once.  She quickly passed out, but Asuka continued to press the attack.  

"You were always the perfect one!  But who's winning now, wonder girl?  

Huh?!  Who's better now?"



Pulpy liquids sprayed from EVA-00's smashed chest as Asuka finally 

released her grip.  The mecha slid to the ground, and Asuka began to 

kick it, her taunts becoming incomprehensible screams of rage and grief.  

She eventually collapsed too her knees, and then reverted to her human 

form.  The girl huddled against the warmth of EVA-00's thigh, curled 

into a sobbing, fetal ball.



"Athena" turned and saw a convoy of Shadowlaw vehicles rolling over the 

top of a nearby hill.  She recognized the power signatures of Bison, 

Sagat, and Protege in the command car leading the way.  Behind them were 

several tanks, and something that looked like a bizarre combination of 

ray gun and artillery piece.



Shinji had recovered, and got up in time to see the artillery piece 

turning to aim at him.  "I think it's time that we left," he announced.  

"Do you want a lift?" he asked Athena.



Shinji bent down and picked up MewTwo with one hand, Asuka with the 

other.  Athena settled on one of his shoulders, and the four of them 

disappeared with a flash of blue light.



***



"...I hope that Rei's okay."  Daisuke had just about fainted when her 

EVA had gone down.  "Do you think-"



"Oh, I'm sure those wonderful doctors at Shadowlaw will fix up your 

girlfriend as good as new!"  Daisuke sweatdropped.  "And we just saw the 

return of Shinji and Asuka to Ultra!  Just like some sort of family 

reunion!"



"You've got to be kidding.  They were trying to kill each other out 

there!"



"Work with me here, Daisuke!"



"WHAT!?!"



Sana turned to face the secondary camera bank as Daisuke sputtered in 

indignation.  "That really does wrap things up for this show.  I hope 

you had nearly as much fun as I did!  And don't forget to preorder Ultra 

Reboot!  It's only $54.95 if you order it ahead of time!  Yaaaaay!



"For all of us at Ultra, I'm Sana!"



"And I'm Daisuke.  Good night, everyone!"



***



In technical terms, a lot of complicated things happened.  Internal 

diagnostics reviewed the worst of the damage and directed the self-

repair circuits accordingly, sensory regulators dampened any discomfort 

to a level that would not be traumatic, and artificial stimulants were 

carefully routed to the organic portions of the system.



In terms that her simple kitty brain could understand, Nuku Nuku woke 

up.



"Wha-?" she began, but immediately cut off as a sharp pain throbbed in 

her head - even with all the advantages of modern psuedoscience, she had 

one monster headache.  The android clutched her head.  "Nyaaa..."



"Nuku Nuku!"  She looked up to see Shingo and Sakura, standing over her 

with concern.  "How are you feeling?"



She nodded, very carefully, at Shingo.  "Nuku Nuku is okay... but her 

head hurts a bunch."



"I'll get you some ice."



As he scurried off, Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.  "I'm glad you're 

better.  Washuu dropped by and did a system check on you - she said 

you'd recover, but I was kinda worried.  It's been a rough night for 

CHAOS."



Nuku Nuku smiled as best she could.  Shingo returned with a cold 

compress, which the android gingerly placed on her head.  "What 

happened?  I remember B-ko-san shot me with her guns, but I didn't think 

I'd be this hurt."



Sakura snorted.  "That bitch... after Krillin gave her the win, she just 

kept attacking you, over and over.  If he hadn't stopped her... I don't 

know what would have happened."



"Oh.  That wasn't very nice."  Suddenly the catgirl brightened.  "Still, 

Nuku Nuku hopes she gets to play with B-ko-san again soon!"



The two Gamma competitors stared at her.  "Uh... Nuku Nuku?" Shingo 

began.  "It *really* looked like she was trying to flat-out kill you.  I 

mean, kill you *dead*."



She waved it off.  "That's okay.  Back home, my friends *always* try to 

kill me.  It's fun!"



They continued to stare, and might have been frozen for the rest of the 

night if the phone hadn't rung.  Grateful for the distraction, Sakura 

picked it up.  "Hello?"  An odd look crossed her face, followed by 

annoyance.  "Oh, it's you.  Why do you always-?  Yeah, she's fine.  You 

wanna talk to her?  Okay."  She held out the receiver.  "It's for you."



Nuku Nuku blinked, then took the phone.  "Moshi moshi?"



"Heya, kid!  Are you okay?  Looks like you took a bad beating there."



Her face lit up.  "Jack-san!  It's okay - Nuku Nuku's better now.  What 

about Mister Duck-san?"



"What?  Oh, he's fine.  Never left my side.  He appreciates the 

sentiment, though."



"That's good.  I was worried."



"Well, worry no more - we'll get you a rematch so you can get that 

psycho back for what she did to you.  You can beat her up as much as you 

want next time, no holding back!"



Blink, blink.  "Ano... I don't mind fighting B-ko-san again, but I don't 

want to be mean to her."



"C'mon, Nuku Nuku!  She's rotten to the core!  She has to be punished 

for her crimes!  It's not like we're in Los Angeles or anything."



"B... but..."



He sighed.  "Look... I know revenge isn't your thing, but this is sports 

entertainment we're talking about - the audience likes it when the bad 

guys get what's coming to them.  You wouldn't want to disappoint your 

fans, would you?"



"I guess not."



"Okay, then.  Trust me, everyone will be happy when you win!"



His attitude started to rub off on her.  "Everyone will be happy!"



"But to do that, you've gotta be mean!"



"Nuku Nuku is mean!"



"You've gotta be tough!"



"Nuku Nuku is tough!"



"You've gotta show *no mercy*!"



"No mercy!  And afterwards we can all go out for pocky and yummy fish!"



Jack sighed again.  "...we'll work on it.  Are Jesse and James there?"



***



Washuu sighed and looked up again at the huge hole in the ceiling.  

Asuka had transformed before teleporting away, and the structural damage 

would take a few weeks to fix.  At least Mary had only been mildly 

traumatized by the experience - she stopped crying in less than a 

minute, and now seemed more worried about Asuka than her own safety.



The television had been smashed as well, so they didn't know how things 

had turned-



*BOOM*



The sound of a 70-meter mecha teleporting into an enclosed space is 

possibly even louder then the start on an Ultra episode, though Ultra 

gets points for longer duration.  In any case, the report was enough to 

shake, shatter, and pulverize the nearby structures not already 

destroyed.



Oh, well.  Washuu had been wanting to redecorate, anyway.



She ran out into the larger laboratory space in time to see Shinji do a 

slow transformation to his human form, gently lowering MewTwo and Asuka 

to the floor during that process.  Athena gracefully swooped down to 

land next to the three.  "Dammit," Shinji cursed, "I didn't have time to 

get Rei out of there.  Bison had a couple of guns big enough to maybe 

bring my AT field down."



"Good to see you back, Shinji!"  Washuu quickly scanned MewTwo and 

Asuka, then nodded in satisfaction.  "The big gray fella is just 

battered around a little, nothing some rest won't fix.  Asuka is 

physically in great shape... but it appears she has a few deep-seated 

psychoses that we're going to have to do something about."



Shinji smiled gently.  "I think those psychoses may have saved my 

life... but you're right.  It is sad to see her like this.  If only I'd 

been able to-"



Athena smacked Shinji on the back of his head.  "You can't control 

everything, kid.  I'll bet you tried your best, like you did out there 

tonight, and that's what counts."



Washuu whipped around as she heard the odd timbre of Athena's voice, and 

she paled as she recognized the changed speech patterns.  "Athena," she 

asked sharply, "do you feel normal?"



"I feel great!  But I'm Sie, not Athena..."  "Athena" trailed off as she 

looked down and realized  she had breasts.  "Or am I?  What's going on 

here?"



Washuu scanned the girl.  "Personality definition down 46% and falling.  

Metabolism rate rising geometrically... we need to reverse the 

procedure, fast!"  She grabbed Athena's arm and dragged her back to the 

transference lab where Sie's body still lay.  Athena lay down and the 

mechanical arms snapped down as Washuu frantically worked the controls.



"This won't take nearly as long, Athena, since we're moving in the 

direction your psyches naturally want to go.  Just lay back and relax."  

Washuu flipped the final switch, then went to take care of Asuka and 

MewTwo.





***



"So you see, Miss Tendo, while you may be able to push the blame for the 

incidents of child abuse to other parties, you are still very exposed on 

the issue of aiding a known felon."



Nabiki shook her head in horror.  "I can't believe that Jack was able to 

shut up long enough to let his lawyers set something like this up!"



"Regardless, you must become more conciliatory in dealing with his 

organization!  While the prosecutors are certainly interested in seeing 

you charged, Mr. Lysias is the real driving force behind the 

investigation.  The longer he can appear to be the injured party, the 

better his position with the authorities becomes."



"So you're saying I should kill Jack with kindness?"



"At least don't treat him worse than anyone else maybe?"



"I don't know if I can do that."



"And for heaven's sake - don't have any more contact with Bison, no 

matter-"



The wall screen chimed, and Bison's grinning face appeared on it.  The 

lawyer screamed, and ran from the room.  Bison watched him go, and 

asked, "Is this a bad moment?"



Nabiki rested her head on the desk, and Bison had to strain to 

understand her muffled words.  "It's always going to be a bad time.  

What do you want?"



"It seems to me that you're having some problems with Ultra, and I could 

use another toy.  How much would you be willing to sell it for?"



***



The reversal process had lasted a mere four hours.  MewTwo was still in 

a recovery tank, and Washuu had tranquilized Asuka, so there wasn't 

anything else to do except wait in the dimly lit room next to Athena and 

Sie.  Finally the transference device's arms lifted, and Washuu leaned 

forward, crossing her fingers for luck.  The instruments indicated that 

the psychic power transfer had completed successfully, and each had the 

same potential they had started with a week ago.



Athena yawned and sat up slowly.  She saw Washuu and smiled.



"Athena?"



"Yes?"



Washuu sighed in relief.  "Good.  You were getting confused when you 

came in - you actually thought you were Sie."



"No, I'm Athena."  The psychic girl frowned suddenly.  "But I think Sie 

is in my head, too."  Her voice lowered and her posture subtly changed.  

"I sure am!  Hi, Washuu!"



Washuu sweatdropped.  "Doh!"



***



][ ULTRA EPISODE 55 RESULTS RECAP:

][ 

][ MORRIGAN def. SHERMIE, now [6W, 3L]

][ KUNOU/HAOHMARU def. JESSIE/JAMES, now [4W, 5L]

][ KUNOU/HAOHMARU become Lambda Champions

][ JACK cuts a good deal with the prosecutors, but remains in jail

][ NABIKI gets a big legal problem of her own

][ B-KO def. NUKU NUKU, now [3W, 2L]

][ MARLO def. BEAN (disqualification), now [11W, 4L]

][ MARLO retains Hardcore Championship

][ ATHENA/SIE, SHINJI, and ASUKA rescue MEWTWO

][ BISON makes NABIKI an offer for Ultra

][ SIE is stuck in ATHENA'S head



I may tack on the plot thread summary if I have time in the next few 

days.



***



Author's Note:



I worked up a long, involved note that expressed some of my frustrations 

about how the writing of this episode played out... and then I realized 

that it was probably inappropriate for this setting.  If you're of a 

mind to, look it up on the ML in a day or two once I get a chance to 

edit it a little.



I've done a couple of things here that were not explicitly stated in my 

outline, but I think I've left them loose enough for the next authors to 

have some fun with.  Good luck to Cactus, and HHHitSquad with Reboot.



Big thanks to Brian Stricklin for writing the B-ko/Nuku Nuku fight and 

supporting materials.  It really rounded out the episode nicely.  And 

the Sprite commercial is Kryptik's work, though I trimmed it down a 

little to increase the comic effect.  The excerpts from Ultra #50 at the 

beginning of the ep were used without permission, though I assume that 

light cribbing for dramatic effect from previous eps is within the 

bounds of propriety.



I'll probably sit out next season for sure, unless someone wants some 

spot help, but expect me to try out for the season eight queue.  Writing 

Ultra produces a neat frission of stress and exultation... a great 

feeling, but I just want to relax for a few months.



Kerry "Ked" Stump

November 12, 2000



***



"You know, if I didn't think Nabiki would fire me the moment I told her, 

I would refuse to ever announce with you again."



"Waaaaaah!  But I kept my promise!  I didn't rap at all!"









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