The Way We Weren't, Chapter 7
David Johnston
rgorman@telusplanet.net
What has gone before: Genma Saotome died believing
himself cursed by Happosai not to see the birth of his
son. He asked his pregnant wife to swear to raise his
child to become the greatest martial artist in Japan,
not realising she was carrying a daughter.
Nodoka has spent the last 16 years proving that
a strong but eccentric dedication to honour isn't
necessarily much better than flexible ethics when
it comes to raising a child. Now, Ranma finds herself
preparing for a duel with Kodachi Kuno with her
engagement to the youngest of the three Tendo brothers
at stake.
Cue Theme Music: "She's Nobody's Girl"
It was well after midnight when the flight from
Shanghai pulled up to the Tokyo International Airport
terminal. Isurugi yawned and sauntered out to join
the worker already opening the cargo compartment.
Once it was open, they began to pass suitcases out
and down to the waiting driver of the luggage train.
"You look like you could use some coffee," the driver
commented.
"Still...switchin' over ta night shift," Isurugi yawned.
"Say, did I tell you about my boy's assignment? Get this,
the JSDF assigned him to be the mechanic for-" The end
of his sentence was cut off by a piercing scream.
He turned to see the other luggage handler flat on the
tarmac, having fallen out of the plane. "Pretty clumsy.
Kid, you're as bad as my-" He broke off again as the
darkness of the cargo compartment shifted and came to
life, flying past him. "Is that what scared you? A
stowaway?"
He leaned over and checked the younger man's
head. "Relax, Kid, you're all right. Just got a bit
of a scare. Those critters'll camp out
anywhere dark when it comes daylight, but trust me,
it's more scared of you than you are of it."
Actually, of course, the bat-shaped being had already
forgotten the encounter. He had more important things
to think about. This time nothing would stop
him. All he had to do was find and claim his prize.
A chill ran down Ranma's spine and she shuddered
awake. Insomnia had never been a problem for her.
Her schedule was so physically and mentally exhausting
that the moment her head hit the pillow she would be
virtually comatose. Despite that, her internal clock said
something had awakened her early. She deliberately
relaxed her body, feigning sleep as she opened up her
senses, to sense for movement in the room. Kodachi
had sworn to leave her alone until the match but
could she be back?
"Ranmaaaa..." The low pitched voice had an ominous
tinge to it. "I know you're awake. I've got a surprise for
yooooou."
Cautiously, she opened her eyes to look at the form looming
over her in the pre-morning twilight.
Akira, on the other hand, hadn't been sleeping at all well,
There was nothing like knowing that his demented ex-girlfriend
might be sneaking into the house to maim his fiancee, or crawl
into his bed to ensure that any small sound would bring him wide
awake. So far he'd noticed that the plumbing could use
some work, all the hinges needed a little oiling, and the house
seemed to be settling a little, so when he heard the outcry from
the adjacent room where Ranma now slept alone, he was
instantly in motion, only to stop dead at Ranma's door.
No sign of Kodachi, just a Ranma glaring at her mother and the
school uniform being held up for approval.
"Oh come on, Ranma. It's a very nice uniform. You'll look cute
in it. All the other girls wear it, you know," Nodoka pleaded.
"Oh, for-! Is that all it is? I thought something had happened to
you!" Akira yelled. He had a bit of temper at the best of times,
and going without sleep had left it distinctly frayed. "Stop
squawking and just wear the stupid thing!" He slammed the
door and thumped down the stairs, muttering to himself as
he went.
Nodoka looked thoughtfully after him, as she said, "Now,
that was a very promising sign, indeed. He was very eager
to rush to your rescue, wasn't he?"
She looked slyly at her daughter who was turning red as
she answered primly, "He was very rude."
"Rudeness comes naturally to them, dear. I'd trust a rude
man over a polite one any day, at least before their marriage.
Now, about this uniform-"
"No."
"Why am I cursed with such an unfeeling daughter?" Nodoka
lamented. "Does she even care about how it looks if a teacher
allows her daughter to break school regulations freely?"
"Not all of them...just...well, can't I get a medical exemption or
something? Because of my curse? If you asked Tofu to-"
"That's Tofu-sensei to you, young lady, and there is nothing
about your condition that entitles you to special treatment,"
Nodoka admonished sternly, as she tossed Ranma an
umbrella. "This will keep you dry as long as you remain alert,
and a martial artist should always be alert. It will be good
training."
Ranma nearly strangled on her frustration. Her mother always
had that trump card. No matter how boring, embarassing, stupid,
or painful something was, it could always be "good training", an
argument that she'd never thought of a counter for since the most
bizarre things had sometimes turned out actually to be good training.
She sighed and stripped off her nightshirt.
"That reminds me, tonight I have to take you shopping for a better
nightgown than that ratty old thing. When your fiancee sneaks
into your room, you want to make a good impression, after all."
"He wouldn't dare!" Ranma protested as she finished quickly pulling
on her school uniform.
Nodoka clasped her hands, starry eyed, and sighed, "A manly man
will dare anything. Did I ever tell you how your father and I first
met? I was in the changing room at the-"
"Sorrygottagolateforschool!" Ranma hastily fled the scene.
"But you haven't even had breakfast, yet!" Nodoka called out,
and then sighed. "So like her father."
After school, the ribbon was still giving Ranma fits. The methods for
using it effectively ran counter to her training and instincts.
Nikkei lowered the AV Club's video camera from his eye and
suggested, "Why don't you just forget about
that ribbon and the rest of the junk? You can probably pound her
flat just using the clubs."
"She can't do that!" protested the Gymnastic Club member who was
trying to teach Ranma the ribbon. "It would be spitting in the face
of the proud traditions of Rhythmic Gymnastic Martial Arts! It is not
enough to win. You must win with style and grace and variety!"
"Give me a break. RGMA doesn't have traditions. It was invented
seven years ago. Winning isn't the important thing. It's the only
thing."
Ranma interrrupted the developing argument. "I'm not gonna let myself
lose to a ribbon! Besides, the best way to counter a move is to know
it."
"Whatever," Nikkei said with a shrug. "Are you about done here?"
"Not yet. I think I've almost got it."
"Famous last words, Ace. My battery's running low, so I'll see you
later" Nikkei sauntered out the door and into
"Nikkei Tendo, I must speak with you." Kuno was dressed in his
hakama, with bokken casually across one shoulder as he intercepted
Nikkei on his way out of school.
Nikkei sighed, "Must you? I'm running kind of late and even though-"
In a flash the bokken was pointing at the middle Tendo brother's
chest. "I insist," Kuno said grimly.
"Fine, what's your problem?" Nikkei didn't seem particularly
intimidated.
"I am aware of you and your lecherous cabal and I have been informed
that you have been taking advantage of your proximity to insult the
modesty of the beauteous Ranma Saotome by distributing representations
of her unclad form."
"Yeah right," Nikkei sneered. "You think I'm that stupid? If I
pulled something something like that, she'd crumple me up into a
little ball and dribble me up and down the basketball court. I may
have some pictures, but I can assure you that they are no more
revealing than than the leotard she'll be wearing in her match with
your sister."
"Leotard...?" Kuno's eyes glazed over as his bokken slowly drifted
upwards to slightly above Nikkei's head.
"Say," Nikkei said, as if hit by sudden inspiration, "you wouldn't be
interested in having a look at them yourself, would you?"
Kuno snapped out of it, answering stoutly, "As a gentleman, I can do
no less than personally confirm your claims. Unveil these pictures,
that I may judge them."
"Here y'go." Nikkei spread the snapshots on his desk. "Nothing too
racy as I said, but I did get some nice action shots." Kuno's eyes
widened at the sight of poses of Ranma kicking, leaping, doing splits,
twirling a gymnastic ribbon and helplessly entangled in said ribbon.
"As you can clearly see, she is fully clad at all times," Nikkei dryly
commented to the drooling kendoist. "Still, she's quite photogenic,
don't you think?"
"She is beyond compare," Kuno moaned, snatching at the pictures as his
forgotten bokken clattered on the tile.
Nikkei hastily held them out of reach. "Hey, easy there, big fella.
Those are mine. However they could be yours for the low, low price of
only 1,000 yen a picture."
"What? That is unconscionable profiteering!"
"It keeps me tossing and turning at nights. On the other hand I am a
firm believer in the virtues of the barter economy."
Kuno looked confused. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I'm open to an exchange of comparable commodities."
"What do you mean by 'comparable commodities'?"
"Well, as you may have noticed, your sister has captured the
imaginations of many poor deluded fools here, even though she will
never notice any of them. Lucky for them. What could be a kinder
public service than to provide these love-struck swains with a small
momento of the object of their affection to soothe their futile
yearnings?"
Smirking comprehension leapt into Kuno's face and he began to chuckle.
"After all, my sister is far better adored from afar than at close
quarters, is she not?" He joined Nikkei in a round of conspiratorial
laughter, throwing a comradely arm around the shorter boy's shoulder.
"So, we have a deal then?"
"Of course not."
Nikkei stumbled, caught off guard.
"It is an amusing thought, but I would never lower myself so. I shall
simply pay thy extortionate fee." Kuno passed a handful of banknotes
to Nikkei and tucked away the photos in return. "But now that matters
of honour and base commerce have been disposed of, I find myself
peckish. Since we are presently on cordial terms, would you care to
join me?"
"Um," Nikkei hesitated as he looked at a face so open and honest that
it positively advertised ulterior motives. "Sure thing, old buddy."
He ignored Kuno's wince.
They retired to a mall food court where Nikkei dug into a bowl of
spaghetti. Kuno ignored his food in favour of his photographs and
said, "I admit to envying you your proximity to Ranma. Tell me, does
she speak of me at all?"
Nikkei shrugged and mumbled, "I think she liked the bit with the
flowers."
"Oh joyous day!"
"Keep it down, will you? You're weirding people people out."
Kuno glanced around at the curious food court patrons surrounding him
and dismissed them out of hand. He was thoroughly accustomed to being
the center of attention for one reason or another. "Did she...by any
chance...mention any of her other likes and dislikes?"
Nikkei glared him. "Forget it, Kuno. I'm not going to help you cut
out my brother."
"Is he really that happy with this engagement?"
"He's...getting used to it."
"An endorsement that rings from the rooftops! 'He's getting used to
it' Hardly a state of bliss, wouldn't you agree? His stubborn nature
is such that he would be happier making his own choice, even though
he is offered a face and form that could launch a thousand and one
ships, true?"
Nikkei shrugged. "Yeah, but there's the whole family honour thing.
Mom would be pissed."
"She need never know, but as for honour...I understand entirely.
Forget I ever mentioned it. It would be unfair of me to expect you
to play your family false when I will not do the same, although this
passion of mine drives me so near to madness with desperation
that it over-rides all other thoughts. Your paltry greed and lust
could never compare to such an all-consuming desire that rules my
every thought and deed, so much so that I would stoop to the depths
in my pursuit of it."
Nikkei stopped and looked at Kuno as he deciphered what his
classmate was saying. "Does that mean you are open to a barter
arrangement after all?"
"If you were to assist the course of true love, I would be so
favourably impressed as to offer you an invitation to the Kuno
estate. You could even bring your camera in case anything
caught your eye. Why, I might even show you a certain secret
passage which was used by one of my forebears to spy upon
members of his family." Kuno raised an eyebrow. "I trust you
take my meaning?"
Nikkei licked his lips and folded. "Pandas. She told us that she
thinks pandas are cute. Her mother told us she had to stop Ranma
from trying to smuggle one out of China."
Kuno's perfect teeth gleamed with satisfaction as an arm crept out
from under the table and replaced Nikkei's video camera without being
noticed by either of them. .
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