Never, never lost.
Part 3
The thing about love...
Ranma glared at Ryoga as he sat next to the boy with a scowl on his
face. The three captured travelers were sitting together inside a wooden
building at the center of the tribe. It was obviously used as a prison of
some sort. The tribe members lived in animal skin teepees, but from the
look of the surrounding area they didn't ever move them. Farms and fields
of animals surrounded the village. "Idiot. I could have taken them if you
hadn't been so slow."
The lost boy merely snorted in response. "I don't think it was a good
idea to try and use the 'Saotome secret technique'!"
"Will you two shut up! We have to get out of here!" snapped the fairy.
"Sure thing, we'll just use Ryoga's bakusai tenketsu and dig our way
out," said Ranma.
"Ranma, the ground is made of sand, it won't work," retorted the lost
boy angrily.
"S'never stopped you before," replied the boy as he crossed his arms and
looked away. "What the heck is going on anyway? Why'd they capture us
like this."
"It's just because of Running Deer. We should be fine, but we've got to
leave," said the fairy girl. She quickly covered her mouth and looked
away innocently.
"Hey Ranma, what do deer have to do with us being here?" said Ryoga in
confusion.
"I donno," replied the boy with a shrug. He poked at the ground lightly
with his finger and sighed. "What the heck are you talking about lady?"
The fairy spun around and grabbed the front of Ranma's shirt lifting him
into the air. "Don't you dare call me a lady! I'm a little girl damn it!"
"Little is right," muttered Ryoga with a slightly amused snort.
"Why thank you P-chan!" squealed the girl cheerfully.
"Who are you calling P-chan!" snapped the boy. His angry rage was
interrupted as a large figure appeared in the doorway.
He was old and wrinkled, with a long headdress that ran along the ground
behind him. "How," he said raising his hand to the boys.
"I donno, I think it was Ranma who did it. You should ask him," replied
Ryoga in confusion.
"You idiot! I bet you don't even know what he's talking about!" snapped
the other boy bitterly.
"Come on Ranma, we all know this has to be your fault..." snorted the
lost boy.
"Actually, it's your fault," said the fairy as she pointed at Ryoga.
"What?" said Ryoga in shock.
The old man coughed into his hand and caught the attention of all in the
room. "I am Chief Sitting Bear. Tell me son in law, why is it we have not
seen you for many moons?" The old man had a dangerous tone to his voice
as he said this.
Ryoga blinked and looked at him like he had a third eye. "Son in law?!"
Ranma looked back and fourth between the pair and sat down in the dirt.
After a second of complete silence in the room, he burst into laughter
and rolled on the ground.
"Damn you Ranma! This has to be your fault!"
"Are they always like this?" said the old man as he looked at the fairy.
She merely nodded and smiled to herself cheerfully.
Akane Tendo sighed as she poured a pound of sugar into the sweet and
sour beef dish. "That should be sweet enough, now to find some lemon..."
She rummaged through the cupboard in the ship's mess hall and blinked as
she came up with an entire bag of citrus. "I guess twenty should be
enough, I put a pound of beef in so I probably need a lot..."
Ten minutes later the entire ships crew stared at the purple concoction
before them and did not move. Hook smiled as he stood at the head of the
table and looked down the rows of men patiently. "I know it's a hardship,
but we must eat mother's cooking. Now, show yourselves to be real men of
the sea and be gracious for the meal she has sought fit to bless us with
this fine day!"
The men nodded dumbly and several muttered "Arr's" of agreement floated
through the room. They all seemed to move in unison as they took a
spoonful of the meal and ate.
"This is awful!" screamed one of the men in the back.
"Worst thing I ever tasted!" agreed another of the men as he doubled
over in shock.
Akane stared in horror at the reaction her food was getting from the
crew. "But...I tried really hard too..." Tears began to form in her eyes
as she watched the men...continue to eat it?
"Tis a real pirate meal here! Just like Cookie used to make! God rest
his soul!" said one of the nearby men with tears in his eyes.
Hook blinked in surprise at the reviews the men were giving the meal and
took a spoonful of a nearby man's plate after shoving him to the ground
from his seat. His face contorted and turned slightly green. "Ye gods!
This is terrible! Just like the old days eh men?!"
A resounding "Arr" of agreement filled the room and the pirates
continued to eat. Hook stood up from his place and walked out of the room
towards his private quarters with Smee in tow.
Akane was confused, she wasn't quite sure if she should be angry or
relieved. "What just happened?"
James hook bit into his roasted leg of lamb and smiled at his second in
command. "Well Smee, I think we should keep her around. It's not really
pirating if the men don't eat slop while I dine in style! Kill the old
cook and give her a permanent job!"
"Aye Captain, but...what about Pan?" said the smaller man in confusion.
"What about him? A war can happen anytime. A good pirate cook is hard to
find," snorted the man in response. "Besides, he's in Never land now.
We'll see him again."
Ranma Saotome blinked as he watched the villagers dance around the fire
while he sat with Ryoga next to a pretty young girl in her late teens.
She was giving Ryoga an angry glare from time to time and had yet to say
anything.
"You must apologize to your wife son in law," said the old man
impatiently.
"Stop calling me that!" snapped Ryoga nervously. "What the heck is going
on here?"
"Back when you were a lost boy you saved her from the pirates," said the
fairy cheerfully.
"So?" said Ranma with an impatient frown on his face.
"There was a big party afterwards. Does any of this sound familiar?"
said the girl with a smirk.
Ranma and Ryoga blinked and looked at the Indian princess. It was the
first time she had spoken. Ranma chose to speak first. "Neither one of us
remembers ever coming here before."
The girl nodded at them. "I see."
This time the old man intervened. "It was more than a celebration of our
victory boy. It was a marriage ceremony."
Ryoga turned completely white and looked at the girl in shock. "You
mean?"
Ranma blinked and looked at him. "Boy, Akari's gonna be pissed."
Ryoga Hibiki fainted dead where he sat.
The fairy fluttered down from her perch in a nearby tree and sighed. "I
told you guys we should have gone around this place."
The old man continued to speak ignoring the condition of his son in law.
"Actually, the marriage was a great relief to us. For many moons we had
thought the lost boys were living immoral lives. All those young lads,
alone in the wilderness, wild, free!" He clenched his fist as tears
flowed down his eyes. After a moment he looked longingly towards the
stars and then coughed as he regained his composure. "Ahem, excuse me..."
Early the next morning, before the sun rose Ranma shook Ryoga awake.
"Pst! Hey wake up you dope! We gotta get out of here!"
Ryoga shot up like a rod and looked at his companion in terror. "Ranma I
had the most horrible dream! I dreamt that I married this really cute
girl when I was little and didn't even know it!"
Ranma blinked and looked at his companion in shock. "You dope! What kind
of horrible dream is that!?"
"You've never seen Akari angry!" retorted the lost boy.
"Whatever, it wasn't a dream moron, we gotta get outa here. Akane still
needs our help," muttered the pigtailed boy as he pulled Ryoga out of the
teepee. They had been allowed to leave the prison after the previous
nights events.
"You're right! We'll just deal with this later," said Ryoga as he
suddenly became serious.
"Will you two jerks hurry up? We've got to move! If Ryoga stays here
he'll be forced to grow up!" said the fairy girl impatiently as she met
them at the door.
"No danger of that happenin," snorted Ranma. He promptly tripped over a
rock and fell face first into the dew-covered grass. "Damn!" said
Ranma-chan as she sat up and rubbed her head.
Ryoga tried to contain his laughter. The fairy girl didn't look
surprised at all and pulled on her shirt. "Come on, we've got to find the
lost boys!"
"Why?" said Ryoga after a moments thought.
"Because you'll need their help to fight the pirates! You can't even fly
anymore!" snapped the angry fairy. "You two dopes probably don't even
remember my name!"
"Bitch?" guessed Ranma.
"Misquito?" tried Ryoga.
The fairy's white aura turned red for a moment as she flew off towards
the woods.
"What did we say?" said Ranma with a confused look on her face.
"Too hell with the lost boys, I'm gonna go find those pirates and take
Akane back by force if I have too!" snapped Ryoga.
His rant was stopped as the fairy slammed him on the head with a mallet.
"Idiot! There are hundreds of them! They've got knives and cannons!"
"So?' said Ranma impatiently.
"Just come on! It will be easier if you have help," said the girl as she
started off again.
Ranma and Ryoga looked at her and shrugged their shoulders. "Come on
P-chan, we're gonna find those pirates."
"I agree," said the lost boy as he turned in the opposite direction.
Ranma grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him behind him moving away from
the fairy's path.
TBC...
Next time: Operation rescue!