Getting to some of the backlog finally:
The Smallest Kuno
Kunou: Damn you woman, I may not be a hanger, but I'm perfectly capable of
satisfying any two women.
The car pulled up to the Kuno house and stopped. Its driver got out,
opened one of the back doors, and leaned inside Soon she walked up to the
house and knocked on the door. When she got no response, she shrugged and
let herself in.
That's a wee bit forward.
Principal Kuno lay back in his chaise lounge, sipping his pineapple juice
while the sun lamp deepened his tan. He had his favorite Don Ho CD
playing, his sunglasses on, and was in an unusually relaxed mood. His
students would never have believed it.
The mood was shattered when the sunglasses were snatched from his face.
"Uncle Kuno! Uncle Kuno!"
Principal: You be wantin lil' ole' Tachi den, since everyone know to refer
to me as da Big Kahuna.
He squinted at the source of the sound. A small child was holding his
sunglasses, waving them about gleefully. Behind the child, Principal
Kuno's sister Minori beamed at the child.
overuse of 'the child' in the sentence. Perhaps just saying behind 'her' or
'him' depending on the sex of the child in the first instance.
"There you are, brother! I've brought little Hitoshi to spend the day
with you."
Minori: Really, I'm not leaving the country without the little brat,
honest. I'm just leaving him here for one day, though if I don't come by to
pick him up, assume I died and raise him as your own.
The child ignored her, and ran across the room to a bowl of fruit. He
grabbed several pieces, took a bite of each, and threw them on the floor.
Just like a real child. Best to kill it now before it grows into a
teenager.
"I'll be back tonight. Have a good time!"
Before the stunned man could say a word, his sister was gone.
Never gonna see her again. :)
*****
Kodachi Kuno was brushing her hair when she heard a knock on the bedroom
door.
"Yes?"
It's yo' faddah, sweet t'ing!"
Ah. Using Kodachi as a scapegoat. How brilliant.
*****
An hour later Kodachi heard her name over the loudspeaker system at St.
Hebereke's. She was being summoned to the homemaking classroom.
When she entered, she encountered a sea of unfriendly faces. The
teacher's glasses were cracked, most of the students had food splattered
all over them, and there was a pile of broken toys on the floor. The
teacher picked Hitoshi up and handed him to Kodachi.
So discipline the little brat. Little destructive forces of nature tend to
grow up into bigger ones without some form of control, you know. (ie:
Akane, Shampoo, Ranma...^_^)
"Brother! How convenient of you to wait outside for me. Cousin Hitoshi
needs someone to watch him today, and I'm afraid my schedule is too full.
Since you're so very fond of him, I know you won't object to having him for
a few hours."
Kodachi disappeared. One second she was there, and the next--she wasn't.
I see. How brilliant. Kunou gives the child to Ranma. Ranma suffers from a
nervous breakdown. Kunou gets Akane. Okay, maybe not the last part, but the
rest would work.
Kuno didn't respond. He was much too busy staring at Akane in what he
considered to be a romantic manner. If he'd known that she thought him to
look rather bovine at the moment, he would have been crushed.
Why would she picture him as a cow?
"You don't think Hitoshi did it, do you?"
"He IS a Kuno."
Hell, he's a little kid. All of them do that sort of stuff. It's genetic.
:)
Just then one of the girls shrieked and ran to the sink. She began to cry
as she ran cold water over her hand. The teacher was there in seconds.
"What's wrong?"
"He BIT me!"
Teacher: Bite him back.
"Yes. You want to hear?"
Hitoshi nodded enthusiastically.
If he starts behaving, I'm going to be annoyed. There's nothing about
either Akane or Ukyou that's so much more in touch with child rearing that
they would be any more successful than anyone else that's been in contact
with him. In fact, given how screwed up they are too, by definition they
should fail. It would be much more Takahashiesque to have the plan explode
in their face.
His laughter stopped quickly when Hitoshi's bokken came down on his foot.
"Uncle look silly! Uncle no baka!"
The teacher put both hands over her mouth in an attempt to suppress her
laughter, and fled. Akane and Ukyo didn't even bother to try. They
laughed until they cried.
Now here's where you went wrong. The next part should go like this:
They lauged until they cried, or at least until a little bokken came down
on Ukyou's foot. "Ukyou look silly in boys clothes. Ukyou no baka."
Akane stood up and laughed even harder as Ukyou launched into a series of
protests, at least until the bokken met her foot. Akane looked down at the
child that was standing right at her feet. "Ow! What did yo do that for?"
He pointed under her skirt with the bokken. "Akane Hello Kitty underwear
look silly. Akane no baka." He thumped her toe again.
"Why you little pervert! I can't believe you're peeping at your age," Akane
growled. "You're just as bad as your cous-"
An arm draped itself over Akane's shoulder. "Fear not, Akane Tendou. Many
are the women that hold onto some rememenant of their childhood. Why even
my sister has a stuffed animal she keeps in her bedroom from when she was
but a child. It is no disgace to wear such garments. To prove this, I will
allow you to date me."
A desk met Tatewaki's head, courtesy of Akane.
"Tatty definitely the most baka," Hitoshi confirmed.
The ending with the Kunou's being left holding Ukyou and Akane's handiwork
didn't work for me either. No more than it would if one of the Kunou's went
to the Tendou house, broke a dish of Kasumi's and Ranma was left being
blamed.
The idea worked up until the end. I think it would have been better to have
Ukyou and Akane's plan backfire in some way. Grammar was fine, though.
D.B. Sommer