For the most part a fun story, except for one thing that bothered me
slightly (of
course it's just me so take it with a huge grain of salt...:). It's the
Xelloss/Loki fusion,
and it stems from the fact that I just don't buy Loki in the role of Xelloss
as shown
in this fic.
Xelloss rarely lose his emotions or cool as he does in this fic, a trait
common with Loki in the Thor comic (Well it was when i read it way back
when...^^;;;;). He
always watches on in amusment regardless of what happens, though he will
show
an amused sydistic streak when he's forced to act.
Here 'Xelloss' loses his cool when attacked with a simple arrow by Hawkeye,
and comes close to blowing his top repeatedly during the fight. I would of
thought he
would of watched on with a more amused exrpession and would of paid the
arrow no head (Especially given the way he handled events in Next...:) Given
the way he acts in this story I doubt Loki would be able to keep his cool
when Lina starts letting lose with her destructive magic...(He'd prolly lose
his cool quickly and make an idiot of himself...)
So I'd suggest maybe tweaking the fusion here a bit, having Xelloss acting a
bit more calm in alot of the situations (especially with Siff, he should
enjoy taunting her before he leaves). He definitly should act calm and
rexlaxed about the arrow shot since it can't really hurt him.
Again, take with a grain of salt and feel free to ignore...:P But for me I
would of liked the fusion to show more Xelloss in it than just Loki using
the name Xelloss...
Ja ne!!
Richard Beaubien
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Akari-chan, Multi-chan, Serio-chan....Wai!!!
Fanfic Homepage http://www.anime.sobhrach.com/~beaubird