Hi, Morgan!
Hello, my friend!
> Well, here we go again, right?
Yeah, and here goes this tiny piece of C&C.
Wonderful! I always love getting C&C. Let's see what you've got for us,
shall we? ^_^
> As always, C&C is appreciated, cherished, and
> usually responded to, barring system crash (don't laugh - it HAS
happened).
Yeah, _I_ should know. ^_^
THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT. THE LIST BOUNCED IT. :p
> And, without further ado, away we go!
Ahem, you forgot again, my good friend. Don't worry, I'll always
remember.
After all, the last time you weren't 'oficially' chastised. ^_^
Blast! I knew I had forgotten to do this, the second I sent it. I thank you
once again for your timely assistance, man. I really do need to start
remembering that. ;)
If any of you, good readers, want to see what Ronin Summer has to offer,
then visit its site at http://dataraven_659.tripod.com/roninsummer.html
or
at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Underworld/4709/roninsummer1.html
Well, there you have it, gang. I couldn't have put it better myself.
Apparently, I couldn't put it, period, thanks to my forgetfulness! It always
gets in my way, just like... uhm, just like... ^_^
There you'll find so many chapters and story arcs of this wonderful
series
that you won't even know where to begin (though the beginning would be my
choice).
Mine, too. Oddly, most people seem to start with Shell Games. (shrugs)
Before anything else, there were formatting glitches in this one, too.
Nothing serious, but see what you can do.
I've DONE it, pal! Now that my usual computer is humming again, I can attach
these chapters instead of pasting them. That ought to fix up the formatting,
no sweat! And best of all, I can make them as long as I want, now! ^_^
<ALREADY A SNIP?>
> "Would you be referring to the decaying flesh," Holts gagged,
> "or the rotting bones?" Thraw looked as though he might enjoy both,
> in her opinion. He was at least two heads taller than she, and nearly
> as broad as he was tall. His black pants were already coated with
> a layer of blood and grease from entering the room, and the thick
> leather belt he wore was covered with small metal hooks. Bare for now,
> but Holts knew all too well the number of weapons he would hang there
> before the day was out. His bare chest and arms were covered with an
> intricate network of long, angry scars, and his left ear was missing.
Kinda like Van Gogh, ne?
Well, Vincent chopped off his own ear by choice. Thraw's ear was kind of
removed against his will. And under protest, I'm sure.
<TINY SNIP>
> "Hey, I work just as hard as everybody else!" The young girl
> replied hotly, crossing her arms across her chest as the jointed spines
> that grew from her back rattled. "I'll have you know that I've been
> awake for six whole hours! In a ROW!"
Heh. I already love this character. I can hear her saying: "...and I mean
sixty-minutes hours! SIXTY MINUTES! And six times sixty is... Oh, I'm too
tired to do a calculation now, maybe later."
LOL! That fits Holts to a "T"! I'm rather fond of her myself, I must
confess. She'd really be quite frightening and dangerous, but it just sounds
like too much work for her. ^_^
It's hard to dislike a villain who prefers naptime to... well, pretty much
everything else, come to think of it...
> "A new record," the man grunted as he rolled a few more skulls
> off of the piles that he was surrounded by and tossed some spinal
> cords after them. A few shards of purtefying flesh still hung from the
putrefying
Gads! A typo! Will fix. ^_^
> yellowed bones, and Holts pinched her nose. "You must be proud."
>
> "Be quiet," she hissed to her brother, "it's starting!" Looking
> up to the ceiling, where she was pointing, Thraw's eyes widened. The
> small channels and grooves were indeed slowly filling with a syrupy
> red fluid that they knew all too well.
Jelly? LCL?
Do you REALLY want to know? ^_~
> Erdge's eyes nearly popped out of her mask. "But the bones
> are still... Oh, my. We have to move!" Her form blurring as she raced
> past her two siblings, Erdge began grabbing and tossing arms, legs,
> skulls, and ribs into the cleared middle of the room almost at random.
> Cursing mightily, Thraw joined her in the task, hurling a pelvis like
> a discus and rolling skulls like bowling balls.
What an interesting new sport... Skullball? Boneling?
It might catch on, with a cast like this. Although I think Rajura would beat
Thraw : more experience and better form. Plus, Rajura's a dirty cheater. ^_^
<ANOTHER MINI-SNIP>
> The three siblings stood in silence around the calm pool as it
> did its work. Erdge wrung her braid in both hands and glanced nervously
> at Holts, who barely restrained a yawn and began filing her nails on a
> stray rib. Thraw stood as close to it as he could, his shoulders
> rising and falling as he took deep breaths of the fluid's sickly sweet
> bouquet. "Ahh..." He crooned, as the first skeletal hand burst through
"Ahh..." he crooned... (as that's the sound he's crooning, right?)
Sure! If you say so, consider it fixed.
> the surface, followed quickly by thirty more. "Battle..."
>
> ***********
>
> Anubis awoke to the smell of smoke, and the feel of fingers
> around his throat. Balling up one fist, he lashed out and broke the
> nose of his assailant, slightly disgusted by the foul smelling slime
> that seeped from between its sodden black rags. Coughing violently,
> the Masho of Darkness grabbed his unexpected opponent by the head and
> slammed their skull against the stone wall until all he was holding
slammed its skull (there's only one oponent in that moment, I believe)
Very true. "Its" it is! ^_^
> was a fistful of red ooze and a few shards of bone. Making a face, he
> wiped the guck off on his white nightshirt and leapt out of bed.
>
> Halfway across the room, another of the ragged black figures
> lunged at him from the boiling clouds of smoke. Stepping back, Anubis
> barely avoided its rusted blade and grabbed the stool he had thrown
> his pants on when preparing for bed. Swinging it like a bat, he quickly
> blocked the creature's blade and twisted the weapon out of its hands.
> A backhand with the stool snapped his assailant's spinal cord and
> silenced it forever.
Not that he could talk before, as he had no vocal cords, right? ^_^
You're catching on! Just goo and bones : nothing else to them!
> Entering the corridor, Anubis coughed and doubled over in an
> attempt to stay below the smoke drifting about him. Another of the
> strange figures in black lunged at him, this one armed with a short
> spear. The pair locked arms and struggled for a moment, Anubis trapping
> the creature's wrists in a grasp that could shatter rock. His opponent
> gurgled angrily, and the Masho of Darkness felt a warm and slimy fluid
> seeping through its rags. Trying to readjust his hold, Anubis lost his
> grip on the creature's arm and gasped as it rammed the javelin it
> carried deep into his side.
Are a short spear and a javelin the same thing? Maybe it's a stupid
question
(probably ^_^), but I wonder...
It's not a stupid question at all! A short spear was a weapon used by
Europeans. It was simply a spear, with a metal head, that had been shortened
for use in close combat. A javelin was a weapon used by Romans. It was a
length of wood, sharpened at both ends, and was used like a spear, either
for jabbing or throwing. A javelin may not by the same as a short spear, but
it's okay to call it a short spear because it IS a spear that is short.
<NOT-SO-TINY SNIP>
> Erdge blinked as she looked down at the girl. Some little brat,
> probably, judging by the sound of her tone. Although, she had to admit,
I'm not sure about this. 'The tone of her voice' sounds better, I think.
I agree! Fixed. Boy, this is easy! ^_^
> that was a very lovely ring on the girl's finger. It would of course
> look MUCH better on Erdge's own slender digits, though...
<SNIP>
> Rajura staggered back against the wall, gasping for air as he
> watched Sailor Thunderstorm dispatch another of their faceless,
> voiceless enemy with a crackling disc of electricity. The golden bow on
enemies
Not necessarily. "Enemy" can be used as a plural, if referring to a group
working together. For example, Shampoo and Kuno are "enemies" of Ranma, but
the Zentraedi are the "enemy" of the Robotech Defense Force.
Ah, English. Where you can park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway. ~_~
> With no warning, one of Kayura's Guard flew backwards and
Guards (and why not 'guards')? Or maybe 'one of the members of Kayura's
Guard'?
"one of the members of Kayura's Guard", it is.
> clattered to the floor, his gutted armour already releasing the thick
> black mist of his soul. The Spider Masho watched with growing
> apprehension as a tall and muscular man walked forward, smoke still
> rising from the axe in his left hand. He was bald, and missing one ear.
> From his belt hung maces, swords, javelins, nunchaku, and other weapons
'nunchakus', right? I mean, the other items are all in the plural.
Nunchaku IS the plural of nunchaku. It's one of the things about japanese
words : the plural is the same as the singular. I can fight off one ninja,
or six hundred ninja. They might have one katana, or two katana. As long as
I have all of my samurai, or even one samurai, they cannot defeat me.
And so on. Frustrating, ain't it? ^_^
> Rajura had never seen before.
If there's a weapon Rajura hasn't seen before, then it's time to worry.
True. Although, having never visited Australia, I'll bet Rajura doesn't know
a boomerang when he sees one.
<SSSNIP>
> "You're right," Rajura said, and kicked Thraw in the crotch.
> "Fair IS fair." As the man doubled over, he felt the Masho's hands
> gripping the back of his head, slamming his face into a rising knee.
> "And I, to date, am NOT." Rajura raised his clasped fists over his head
> and brought them down in a double blow on the base of Thraw's skull.
Heheh. That line was priceless.
Thank you. I'm rather fond of it myself. To quote Beast Wars : "If you want
to fight with a rat, you better be prepared to fight dirty!" ^_^
> As the man fell to his knees, dazed, Rajura looked around the
> battlefield. The crackles of elecricity down the hall told him that
electricity
Oops!
> Thunderstorm was still going strong, and two or three of Kayura's Guard
> were still earning their pay nearby, but the minotaur Takenoko was
> nowhere to be seen. To his surprise, a man in black hakama and a
> stained red nightshirt stumbled around the corner and thrust a bloody
'red-stained' sounds better, IMO. What do you think?
MUCH better. Will fix.
> javelin through the chest of a figure in now-familiar black rags.
>
> "Rajura!" The Masho of Darkness called. "Are you all right?"
>
> "Nothing five days alone with that Pedri boy and a meathook
> won't cure," Rajura responded, then glanced at his comrade with
> concern. "What about you, Anubis? How are you doing?"
>
> "I'm alive," Anubis groaned, "but I'm not too friendly. Where
> are you headed?"
>
> Rajura shrugged. "I'm headed for our yoroi. Upstairs. You?"
Why 'our'? The only available yoroi is Rajura's, right?
Sore wa himitsu desu. ^_^
Seriously, just because Kayura doesn't like wearing her armour all of the
time, that doesn't mean she would leave home without it... And Anubis has to
be forcibly removed from his yoroi, so you just KNOW he brought it with
him...
<BIG SNIP>
> The tank almost burbled loud enough to drown out the screams.
Oh, such a lovely ending for the chapter...
Yes... Not the most loving of families, are they?
> TO BE CONTINUED...
Well, Morgan, another great chapter. This one was very polished, and I
didn't find much to say. Some typos, but those are nothing. As David
said,
the villans are most interesting, and the dialogue keeps its usual
excelent
quality. Good work!
Thanks! It's nice to know the siblings are catching on with you great
people. And just think, there's three more you haven't met! ^_^
This came even faster than I thought; I wish I could write as quickly as
you
can. Now get to write next chapter! ^_^
"Wow, you're fast. Now hurry up!"
I'll see what I can do, my good man. But only if you promise to get to work
on that Silent Battles of yours, all right? ^_^
Well, that's all for now. See you, man,
Thanks again for the great C&C. I really did enjoy and appreciate it, as
always. See you around!
-Morgan Hudson
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