...Um...sorry. Bored in precalc, so I kinda started writing this. It's
impro, but it's also a crossover, as I just added anime into an existing
story, but it's also a poem, because it's a..poem, but..Oh, hell, just read
it.
*****
Standard disclaimers apply.
Takahasi=genius and owner of characters
poem=not mine, either
santa=retarded myth to commercialize CHRISTmas, a RELIGIOUS holiday
And, as always, PACKERS SUCK!!!.
Sorry. Loyal son of MN, here.
*****
NOTE: these mean that footnotes pertain to that part of the story. *
If you see one of those stars after a sentence, that means it has its' own
special sentence at the end of the fic...crossover...poem...thing
*****
(UNTITLED)
by Charlie-Baka-Sama
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
all the Tendos were stirring, and Nabs with a mouse*
All the fiancees thoughts hung o'er Ranma with care
with hopes and dreams Ra-n-ma just couldn't bear.
Ranma was warm, snuggled up in his bed,
while visions of A-ka-ne played in his head.
Genma, he napped, with no nightshirt or cap
Panda-form, he lay, for a warm winter's nap.
When from up on the rooftop there arose such a clatter
the Tendos woke Ranma. "He'll deal with this matter."
he crept up the stairs, sleep almost winning the fight
"who the hell would come here at this time of night?"
He jumped up to the rooftop. The sky was quite clear
and in front of him stood...Santa...with beer?
His stomach was round. 'Twas a large, large beer belly.
When he belched, his abdomen, it jiggled like jelly
"What's up?" Croaked Santa, 'tween two swigs of beer
"I'm Santa. You're Ranma. And that's why I'm here."
Ranma was stunned. he just couldn't believe
that Santa wore wife-beaters (T-shirts, no sleeves)**
His beater stained brown from great spills of beer
Santa's unshaven face held a grin - ear to ear
"I am here to give you a present. Pure joy
Your reward," said Santa, "as a good little boy."
He turned right around, and leaned into his sack
and he showed, noticed Ranma, way too much of his crack***
Then Santa, he rose and he held his head high...
And he hocked, then he spat into the night sky***
He turned. "So Ranma, what I have for you here
Is something you've wanted for over a year."
Ranma looked at his box, then looked at the beer
then at Santa's old sleigh, and his worn out...2 deer?
"Budget cuts," explained Santa, climbing in to his sleigh
"It's the elves, those short bastards****, they demand too much pay."
"Open the box," smiled Santa with glee
Ranma picked up the box. VERY CAREFULLY.
Ranma's present, it's said, was a box filled with smarts
common sense, and maturity. And most of all, heart.
Ranma changed on that night, though not a whole lot
He still fought with Akane, but get hit he did not.
He proffessed on that night, what his heart held most dear
and the thing he had hidden for over a year
He did love Akane, and he stated as much
Akane confessed, "How I cherish your touch."
(They got hitched, how ironic, and completely non-canon
But, Hey! This was impro! I wrote this sans plannin'!)
And above the house Tendo, Santa cursed "*#&^@^% beer!
6-Pack my ass! To a liquor store near here!"*****
But unfortunately, the author, quite quickly he died
The flames he recieved made him look quite deep fried
And with this, my dear friends, I end this tonight:
"Ranma! Akane! For God's sake, DON'T FIGHT!"
************
Starred references:
* = Computer mouse. You know, last-minute shopping via internet?
** = That's the only thing I've heard them called. 'Wife-beaters.' Sorry,
but that's all I know them as. If I've offended anyone, sorry.
*** = SORRY! Gomen nasai gozaimasu! Juvenille, sick, and bad, but they
were the only things that fit with the image of Santa I was going for:
everyone's fat, drunk uncle Bill at Thanksgiving.
**** = If I've offended any bastards or elves, I'm sorry.
***** = In all seriousness, don't drink and sleigh-drive. Too many people
are killed that way. Designated teamsters. It's the smart thing to do.
**************
Um....sorry.
Please go easy on me. I was bored! You understand, don't you.....?
Please?
Charlie-Baka-Sama