Okay, this is a repost.

WARNING

There is at least one fairly dark theme in this- that of rape. It's ages since I wrote this, and I decided to update/rewrite bits of it.

I hope you enjoy it.



C&C/MST's greatly appreciated.

Closer

A NGEvangelion fanfiction

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Shinji sighed. Would Rei ever get that doorbell fixed?

Unlikely. Anyways, here he was. Rei hadn't been in school
the past couple of days, which was odd.

But then, everyone got sick occasionally. Didn�t they?

So he'd volunteered to take the printouts. She never emptied
her letterbox, so he'd have to go in, rather than just post them
through the door- she�d never see them, that way.

He knocked, twice, just to be sure that she wasn�t there.

No answer.

Remembering the last time, he shoved the door, gently. It opened.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Silence.

Not quite. A creaking... very soft.

"Hello?"

Shinji walked onward to Rei's bedroom.

She was sitting there, on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest.
She was rocking, slightly, her arms round her knees, wearing a
stained and well-worn nightdress. Even for her, that was unusual.
Every time she moved, the bed creaked slightly. Her eyes stared
at the wall -if, indeed they saw anything; they had a vacant look,
one that should not be seen by anyone, nor should be worn by anyone.

Looking at her, noting the slight pungency, he got the sick feeling
that comes with unpleasant surprises- that she'd been like this for
the past two days. She noticed someone was there, it seemed , and
lay back, parting her legs. Her eyes kept their vacant glaze, and closer
to, he could see that they were slightly reddened and puffy. She seemed
to be on autopilot, not consciously operating; her actions not those of
her mind.

He sat beside her on the bed, and saw, to his growing unease, her eyes
close, tightly, crushing themselves. Her face was streaked- something
he�d never seen on her before.

He reached out to touch her face, and was shocked as she flinched
from his touch, gentle as it was.

�Ayanami, what are you doing? It's me."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. Slowly, the glaze disappeared,
quickly replaced by recognition. And misery, mixed with relief. Rei sat
up, and, suddenly, grabbed him, pulling him against her, burying her face
against his shoulder.

"What happened, Rei?"

No answer.

Just a soft, almost imperceptible sound.

A sob.

He stayed like that for a while, as the heartrending sobs- soft, but filled
with loathing- rose to a crescendo, and died away, until she stopped
crying and stayed against him, gripping his shoulders as if afraid she
would fall off him.

Slowly, Shinji pulled his cellphone from the loop on his belt and quietly
pressed the autodial.

"Misato? It's me, Shinji. I'm at Rei's. Get Ritsuko here now. I don't care
where she is, just get her here now. Something's wrong with Rei."

*****

"She's been raped."

The statement was exactly what Shinji and Gendou had feared.

"Do we have DNA samples?"

"Yes. But the criminal may well turn up again tonight at her apartment.
Apparently, he's been coming along for the past two nights, and so the
likelihood is he'll be there again tonight."

Gendou stood. "Thank you, Doctor Akagi. I will deal with that." He
turned abruptly, and left the room, allowing the door to bang behind him.

Ritsuko turned to Shinji. "We feel that it's best if she stays with someone
for the duration. How about Misato's?"

"I don't think that Misato would mind. Asuka, though..."

Ritsuko�s demeanour became harsh. "Asuka can go jump. This is Rei we�re
talking about. Pilots are hard to find, and losing one now would really annoy
your father. Besides,� and her face softened a bit, �She really ought to be
among friends for a bit. It will help her cope- I think that she�s a very resilient
young woman. She only went catatonic- as you described it- because she
never thought that this could happen.�

�She didn�t think rape happened?�

�No; it quite simply never occurred to her that anyone might do that. She had
heard of it...� <Gendou can be too damn protective at times...> �Anyway, I�ll
contact Misato later.� Ritsuko�s voice became softer and lower. �She thinks
very highly of you, you know."

"I don't see why."

Ritsuko shook her head.

"You've saved her life on several occasions. You're the only person who talks
to her outside of the geofront.  How many friends do you think she has?�

Shinji thought for a second.

�Just me and my father...?�

�Correct. You are the two people she trusts most. You because you have never
been threatening towards her, and your father... Well, he�s the first person she
really knew here. Besides, I don't think you'd take advantage of her."

Shinji blushed. "It's partly her fault. She never locks her door. Anyone could
get in." Ritsuko�s expression changed, slightly; it became harder, and a touch of
annoyance. What he�d said had come out all wrong.

�I mean, anyone could... I could have done...� Ritsuko�s face hardened a bit more.
�I think I�ll shut up now.�

Ritsuko�s face softened, and she  nodded. "We really ought to have a word with
her about that. But for the next few days -maybe weeks- she'll be staying at Misato's."

�Oh... her apartment could do with a little brightening up, if that can be arranged.
It�s so _bare_.�

Ritsuko nodded thoughtfully. �You�re right there. Things ought to change. And
it�ll probably make her feel better about the place- probably herself, as well- if the
place changes a bit. Something in pale blue... Duck-egg, or Eau-de-nil... hmmm...�

�And her doorbell. It doesn�t work.�

�Really? We�ll see to that as well.�

*****

"Great! Wondergirl gets screwed so she has to stay with us. Abso-bloody-lutely
brilliant! Another girl around here for Shinji to drool over!"

Asuka was taking the news as well as could be expected. She was getting into a
furious temper; near hysterical, in fact. Shinji would have been glad that he wasn't
there, if he had known.

"Now that's enough from you, missy." For once, Misato was sober and forceful.
"Rei is only staying for a few days until she's feeling better. And remember: she
was raped. She didn't want any part of it."

"Wonder girl probably went out to find a guy and got more than she bargained
for..."

"Asuka?"

"Mmm?"

"Shut up."

*****

Rei arrived with a minimum of baggage. It was, truthfully, all she had. Misato
was there to greet her when she arrived.

"Umm... I set up a camp bed for you. I suggested that Asuka let you sleep with
her, but she was less than enthusiastic about the idea."

Asuka had exploded, in fact. Misato wasn't much good at dealing with her most
of the time, but Asuka in full frenzy was more than she could handle. Besides,
she'd threatened to pour all Misato's beer down the toilet, which had settled matters.
Rei was sleeping elsewhere.

"I understand." Rei's voice was as emotionless as always. Misato continued.

"We're getting Pizza in tonight. Anything special for you? It's no trouble at all."

"Anything vegetarian. No fish, no chicken, no meat."

"Fine! Fine. Aheh..." Misato had never felt particularly settled around Rei in a
social context. But she felt that there was something she had to do. Squatting,
she brought herself down to Rei's level. "Look... if you want to talk about it,
you know..."

Rei looked levelly at her.

"About what?"

"..."

*****

Gendou Ikari sat watching the door. He didn�t smoke, or read; he just waited.
The lights were out, and it was nearly eleven o'clock.

Footsteps. Just outside the front door.

He stood, silently, and moved to a corner; from here, there was no chance of
being seen. It was the right guy. The door opened, and a stealthy tread paced
down the short corridor. The man was silhouetted as he approached the bed-
the stench of alcohol wafted around him.

"She's not here."

He spun at the sudden voice, coming face to face with Ikari Gendou. "Oh
Gods... you're police, aren't you? I'll come quietly..."

"No, I'm not."

There was a brief, muted bark, and the man grunted, falling to his knees,
then onto his face, clutching his stomach where the bullet had entered.

"And you won't."

With that, Gendou fired three more rounds, into the back and the back of
the head. Gendou checked for a pulse, and placed the pistol back into his
shoulder holster, ignoring the blood pooling on the floor.

Leaving the apartment, and pulling the door to, Gendou pulled a small radio
out of his jacket.

"Team 1? There's a body to be dealt with in the first child's apartment. No trace."

*****

It was nearly one, and Shinji couldn't sleep. The moon was shining directly into
his face, and he was still worried about Rei. Her emotionlessness was normal for
her, but he wasn't sure if this time it was a deliberate attempt to deal with
something she wasn't used to by not dealing with it. It was strange, he thought,
that she would act like this... but then, a lot of things about her- and the rest of
NERV- were very strange indeed.

His musings were interrupted by their subject entering his room.

"Ikari-kun."

"Rei?"

Were those tears on her cheek?

"I... I am uncomfortable sleeping alone tonight."

That was understandable. She was still dealing with her experience.

"I see. Feel free to move in here... but wouldn't you be better off with Misato or Asuka?"

"I doubt that Souryu-san will be happy to see me, and I dislike the smell of alcohol."

Shinji nodded. He could see that she wouldn't like to sleep with Asuka, and he knew
from experience that Misato's morning breath could strip paint.

"Bring your bed in then."

"There is ample room in yours." Shinji boggled. This was unexpected. But then, Rei's
behaviour wasn't always in tune with everyone else's.

Rei climbed into the bed, quietly. She was wearing a nightshirt, and Shinji (to his relief)
had decided to wear boxers and a T-shirt that night.

*****

Sleep wasn't easy. Rei was snuggled up against him, and he couldn't tell if she was asleep
or not. She had pulled his arms round her, and had shifted his hands into what he thought
she felt was a comfortable position.

Then, against all expectation, she started moving his hands for him. The right went down
to her crotch, and the other up to her chest.

�Rei? What are you doing?�

�It is what you want before you accept me.� She twitched her hand against his, and he felt
his fingers brush against a light thatch of hair, soft and curled against his fingers. He pulled
his hands away, as if they were on fire. He gripped her by the shoulders, and turned her
round, so he could see her face. Her eyes were glistening.

�So it is this way you want me.� She seemed close to tears; in fact, Shinji thought that she
might break down at any moment.

�Rei, Rei... whatever made you think that?�

�I... I do not interact with people much. The man who came to me was kind afterwards.
I felt that I should offer myself as... as a means to being accepted. Do as you wish...�
And with that, she closed her eyes, lying back against the sheets.

�Rei... I would not do that to you. And it wouldn�t work. I already like you. You don�t
have to do that. It�s not how people gain acceptance. They gain it through other means,
like talking, and sharing time together. That�s not the way to do things, Rei. And most
importantly, Rei- it�s only if two people really like each other intensely- love each other,
I suppose- that they decide to join souls.�

Rei opened her eyes, still brimming, and looked at him. �So you do not wish to become
one with me? Am I unattractive? Or do you not love me?�

�NO! I mean, Not that way. I like you a lot- but I don�t know if I love you. I might love
you- but I don�t know yet. You are beautiful, and I would argue with any man who said
otherwise. But I�m not ready to... and you don�t really want to, do you?�

There was silence for a moment, and Rei shook her head, her eyes closed against tears
that promised to pour at any second.

�Cry, if you want to. It helps with the pain.�

And Rei did cry, sobbing against Shinji, as she told him what had happened. About what
the man had done to her, and what he�d said.

And Shinji�s jaw set solid, as he listened to her and vowed never to let her get hurt in such a way
again.

*****

The next morning, Misato woke up, stretched, yawned, scratched, winced and swore at her
headache, and got up to wake Rei- assuming she hadn�t already got up.

�Come on, Ayanami- rise and shine...� Misato had gone into the kitchen, and poked her head
back round the door.

The camp bed was empty.

Asuka was woken up by the following...

�Hey, Shinji, have you seenWOAH!�

*****

A little while later, Shinji and Rei emerged.

"Thank you, Shinji-kun."

"Anytime, Rei." And with that, he kissed her, gently.

Asuka watched, open mouthed.

*That... that... PERVERT! And that.... BITCH! He's mine, all mine!*

*Well, both him and Kaji...*

A little later still, at the Geofront...

"Ritsuko, you can tell Rei that anytime she decides to return home will be fine. There is nothing else
to fear there. I dealt with the matter personally."

"Understood. And, sir, I believe she and your son have grown somewhat closer."

--End--

Disclaimer: All characters property of Gainax/Anno Hideyaki. No profit has been made from this.

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