Greetings!
I know it's been a while since I've posted here, but
real life's been very hectic for me recently. Like
TimeRunner said about the Gratuitous Theatre project,
it's a bunch of us who're rewriting each other's work,
which is not to say we're doing this cause we're just
not currently inspired to write. I've got a whole
passel of projects and very little time to get to
them all. But anyway...
I picked So Many Memories largely because it was a short
finished TimeRunner fic. I figured the work would go faster
that way. Plus the original is one of my favorite
shortfics. Anyway, enough blabber. On with the story!
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So Many Memories: Scriviner Reprise
Warning: Contains Spoilers for the entire A!MG OAV series
The sky. It always hurt to look at it now. Not from
looking at the sun, of course. The pain was inside him.
Although, it wasn't quite pain... the feeling was like pain
in the same way that holding your finger just an inch away
from someone's skin was like a touch. It was the
anticipation of a feeling the gnawed at him. What he felt
that frightened him the most about it, though, was that if
he were to experience it in full... he didn't think he
would survive it.
Yet, he couldn't keep his eyes away. Constantly
searching the skies for shapes in the clouds or shadows in
the distance. He knew there was something out there that he
needed to see. He couldn't understand why he always felt
like this now. It was almost as though he'd lost something
he couldn't quite put a finger on. But that, was obviously
ridiculous.
Since last year, he had everything he could've wished
for. Except maybe a little more height, but that was fine.
He was doing well in school. His name had become pretty
well known on campus, because of all of the Auto Club's
activities. He was even living with beautiful goddesses
rent free, in a roomy temple.
He chuckled at the last. All in all, he really was a
lucky guy, but still, his face took on a look of concern...
He didn't really feel that way. If he thought about it
logically, he'd most definitely say he was a very lucky
guy. But he didn't feel it. Not where it counted.
He slid his hands behind his head where he lay on the
hardwood floor of the temple's porch. His eyes were still
on the sky. He thought for a moment that one of the clouds,
off to his right looked vaguely like a woman's face
watching him, but the wind shifted and the image broke up.
"Keiichi? Dinner's almost ready." A voice called
cheerfully out from the kitchen.
He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment before
replying. "No hurry." He called back. She does so much, he
thought, then winced to himself, I don't appreciate her
enough. I don't think I let her know how much she means to
me. Her company was probably the only thing keeping me sane
nowadays.
She'd caused him so much trouble when they'd first
met, but he couldn't find the heart to resent her for it.
Now... he didn't know what he'd do without her. He sat up
as another thought occurred to him and he glanced back
towards the open doorway to the kitchen.
Was that what's been missing from my life? He asked
himself. Passion? Romance? He shook his head, as he laughed
at himself. Attractive as she was, he could never make
himself think of her in quite that way.
He sighed. Then again, it wasn't even as though he
thought of anyone in that way, really. The more he thought
about it the more sense it made. Maybe he did need someone
for that sort of thing... That was what he'd been missing.
He glanced towards the kitchen once more. Now, there was an
entertaining fantasy, he thought as a scene of domestic
tranquility with his goddess popped into his head. He
chuckled.
As he looked away, his eye caught a photo that had
been taken last summer. The glass of the frame was cracked
and he'd been intending to replace it, but he'd never
gotten around to it. He supposed he was used to seeing it
like that. It was comforting in a way.
The photo bothered him. It showed him, with the beach
behind him. He stood up and picked up the photo to give it
a closer look. He frowned. Whoever had taken it, obviously
wasn't used to centering his subjects. He chuckled. There
he was off to the left, leaving the ocean to be seen hazily
on the right side.
It wasn't the fact that it wasn't that well taken
that bothered him. In the photo, his face had a smile so
happy that it was almost scary. He didn't know what
could've brought such a smile to his face. Why had he been
so happy when that picture had been taken? That wasn't the
smile of a man who'd managed to be at the beach after
months of hard school work. That was something else. That
was the smile of a man who had everything.
Keiichi shook his head and grinned. What was it about
that day? He remembered Urd's antics... and her 'help'
which had landed him hanging over Mishima Sayoko. If the
love potion hadn't given out at the last moment... he would
have... have... have...
The thought sputtered to a halt. What would he have
done? It certainly wasn't THAT incident that gave him that
smile. Was it? The more he studied the photo, the more the
vague disquiet crept over him. It was just like when he
looked at the sky. The same strange anticipated pain that
threatened that had nothing to latch on to.
He frowned once more and padded softly around the
temple as a thought occurred to him. He found a photo album
of the past year in his room and brought it out with him to
the porch to look at. He thumbed through it slowly,
studying his expression in each picture with great care.
Why were there so many blank photos? There was simply
no subject in them, just some badly focussed backgrounds.
He knew he hadn't taken any interest in landscape
photography. If he had, he was certain he could've taken
better shots than these.
The other pictures only strengthened his feelings of
disquiet. He found dozens of pictures of himself. In each
and every one, there was that smile. That happy, satisfied
and totally unfamiliar smile. In every photo that he found
that expression on his face, was a conspicuously empty spot
near him. Always. In each and every single photo. He stared
at it in confusion. There had been quite a number of weird
things that had happened to him in the past year, but he
wasn't quite sure how to classify this.
An unfamiliar expression.
A blank space.
He looked up into the late afternoon sky again.
The empty spaces of the sky.
These indistinct feelings emptiness.
It was the blank spaces that kept drawing his eye. He
felt them relating to his own inexplicable sense of loss at
his center. That somehow something in them was what used to
fill his life. Why did these empty spaces seem to mean so
much?
He looked through some more photos... there was one
with him and the goddesses just after he'd whipped
Aoshima's behind at that race last year. Again the smiling
expression. Again the blank space right next to him. He
remembered vaguely that Skuld told him that she'd souped up
Aoshima's bike so the guy would win... it was
understandable, of course since if Aoshima had won, he'd've
gotten... he would have... what? What would he have gotten?
His thoughts were interrupted as Skuld walked past
him from the garage. She was wiping the sweat on her brow
onto her sleeve, she flashed him a brief, sunny smile and
said, "Keiichi, your bike's finished."
"Thanks, Skuld."
"Anytime." She gave him a puzzled expression then
stopped to look over his shoulder, "What're you doing?"
"Just looking over some old pictures."
He couldn't understand the melancholy look that
passed across her face, before it composed herself into the
smile he'd become so used to. "Oh, I see. It's good to see
you're not just sunning yourself on the porch again."
"Well, you can only do that so often." He shrugged.
"I guess," Her expression slipped for a moment as she
glanced at the photos, but covered it up quickly and said,
"Well, I'm going to go clean up for dinner."
"Alright."
She skipped off, moving deeper into the temple very
quickly. He looked bemusedly as Skuld passed him by. There
was a time when she didn't like him at all. He couldn't
remember why, exactly. She was kind of a brat... but after
a while they did learn to get along, especially after last
Christmas. He smiled vaguely. When he'd worked himself
practically into the ground. He frowned. Why did he do
that? Was there something he wanted? Did he and Skuld start
getting along because he gave her something? That answer
felt almost right... but no... not that either. He probably
wouldn't have worked himself into the ground just so Skuld
and he could get along better, would he?
He shrugged the thought off and added to himself,
besides, her company was welcome too... the temple would've
seemed lonelier if she hadn't been here.
He felt it again. Now like a man grasping for
something in the dark for something he knows should be
there but isn't quite where he remembered... lonelier? In
comparisson to what?
He stopped at that thought. Who had left the temple?
No one else but he had stayed here when the goddesses were
together. He wet his lips as he tried to remember. He'd had
so many memories in the past year. Good, bad and strange
but he could find no answers in any of them. Nothing.
He got to his feet, an uncertain plan forming in his
mind. He had to know what this emptiness was. He needed to
know. Clutching the album and the framed photo to his
chest, he walked purposely to his room. There were other
things he needed. The things that gave him these vague
empty feelings. Everything that made him think that there
was something that wasn't there...
He could hear vague sounds of an argument coming from
the kitchen, but he was in a rush. He thought he could hear
a few snatches of it."... tell him already! He can feel
it..." "... you want him more hurt than he already is..."
"He's already hurting..." "We can't. It's for his own
good..."
Urd popped her head out of the kitchen as Keiichi
rushed past, "Um... hey, dinner's ready."
He smiled at her. "I think I might have to skip
dinner... could you just keep it warm for a while Urd? I
might get hungry later, after all.
She frowned slightly as she absently wiped her hands
on her apron, "What? Where are you going?"
"I just have something to do. I'll be in my room." He
caught a glimpse of himself in the glass frame on a table.
He was wearing that smile on his own face. He knew he was
on the right track.
Urd looked worriedly at him, "If you're sure... I
guess Skuld and I can just..."
"It'll be fine. I'm sure you did a great job on
dinner, but this is really urgent." He added silently, it
smells good from here and it hasn't tried to crawl out, so
it's probably okay.
Skuld stepped out of the kitchen looking disraught,
"Keiichi... what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong Skuld." He held the album and the
framed picture tighter to his chest. "I think everything's
going to be fine." He looked at them both fondly and added,
"Thanks for worrying. I really appreciate it."
As he rushed off to his room, he could swear he heard
Skuld's voice behind him, no doubt addressing her elder
sister, "See? I told you... he's snapped."
"How is he?"
"Same as last night. Still in his room."
Megumi put her hands on her hips and sighed, "What is
wrong with him?"
The lady she addressed shifted uncomfortably, but
flashed the girl a bright smile, "It's nothing... he's
probably just a little tired."
"That's not 'a little tired'! He's been like a
vegetable all week. Wanders around campus looking totally
wasted half the time, cuts class the other half. Doesn't
want to do anything when he gets home but hide in his room.
We haven't seen him at the Auto Club in weeks. People are
getting worried." Megumi folded her arms across her chest
then looked thoughtfully at the woman... the exotically
beautiful foreign woman who'd been living with her brother
all these months. Little whirring gears clacked around in
her head as certain thoughts and certain other thoughts
added themselves up. One guy and one girl and eight months
living together came together and added up to a single
three letter word...
"What?" the woman asked, a little disturbed by
Megumi's expression.
"Look," Megumi spoke hesitantly, "He's an adult and
all, but he's still my big brother-- and maybe it's not
really any of my business-- "
A slightly confused expression on her face now,
"Yes?"
Megumi's voice dropped, "Did you do something with my
brother?"
"What do you--"
"I mean," Megumi made a few vague gestures and the
embarrassment was plain on her face, "Are you doing
something-- with my brother? Like in... um... bed?"
The woman's eyes widened as she began to get a
glimmer of what Megumi was trying to say. She gave an
amused grin, "You mean sleeping?"
Megumi was both speaking very quickly and hesitantly,
speaking in stacatto bursts as fast as she could, her face
was bright red at having to ask, "Yeah-- together--
sleeping-- together-- in bed-- or wherever else-- cause
that's okay too and-- I won't tell our mom and dad... but
really--!"
The woman smiled again, but there was a hint of
something else in her eyes as she spoke. "I'm not doing
anything of the sort with him."
"-- not that I'd know personally-- but you REALLY
should let the guy rest every so often-- cause otherwise
he's going to be worn out all the time if you keep him up
all night doing-- uh, whatever-- totally tired-- JUST like
the way Keiichi is nowadays and... and..." she stuttered to
a halt as what the woman said finally caught up with her
ears. "You aren't?"
"We aren't, I wouldn't dream of it."
Megumi looked skeptically at the woman for a long
moment then nodded, "Then its something else then." She
glanced at the door leading to the porch and nodded to
herself, "It was kind of a silly thought I guess. I'm
pretty sure he'd look happier if he were actually getting
som-- yeah."
The woman's face was impassive as she followed
Megumi's glance, "Yes." She sighed.
"I mean what with all the rumors last Christmas and
the rumors going around now?" Megumi added glumly.
"What're the new ones?"
"That you know... he got some girl pregnant and now
they're saying he's been depressed cause... she miscarried
or something..."
Urd laughed, "Whoo-boy! That's an unlikely one."
Megumi nodded, "So... do you know what's wrong with
him?"
"We're not sure, really. Skuld and I barely see him
around the temple anymore." She folded her arms, "He stays
in his room all day, darts out to grab stuff from some of
the other rooms, then heads back in and locks himself in."
"Haven't you tried going in there to find out what's
going on?"
She sighed, "We've tried. Last time we did, he
screamed at us to get out."
"He... my brother raised his voice?"
"He was pretty furious." Urd nodded, "Skuld was
beside herself all week."
Skuld stepped out of the kitchen, "I heard my name?"
"We were just worrying about Keiichi."
"Oh." Skuld sighed and flashed Urd a glance that
Megumi couldn't read. Her expression suddenly changed to
one of annoyance, "The tea cups are missing."
"I saw Keiichi pick them up last night." Urd replied.
"Oh." Skuld sighed. "Well, so much for that. We've
already lost half the cutlery to him."
Megumi frowned, "Aren't you two worried that he's
going to do something drastic? Maybe all the pressure from
school finally got to him?"
Urd and Skuld exchanged looks again and both replied,
"Probably not."
"That does it! I'm his sister, I'm going to talk to
him!" With that, she stormed off towards his room.
Urd sighed as they began to follow her, "Well,
that'll be the easiest way for her to learn not to bother
him."
"I still say we should've told him. Maybe it wouldn't
have come to this." Skuld gave her sister a worried look.
"I'm starting to think you may be right."
Megumi pulled Keiichi's door open without and the
lecture she was intending to deliver died in her throat.
His room was a total mess. All over, small scattered pieces
of paper, like confetti littered the room. Near the window
was a huge pile of junk attached to a large pane of glass.
Keiichi, who was sitting in the middle of it all,
wearing a vague little smile glanced over his shoulder at
her. "Oh. Hi, Megumi."
"Hi, Megumi? Hi MEGUMI?! That's all you have to say
to me after making me and everyone else worry?"
His face was tranquil as he turned to face the glass
pane. "I'm done. I found the shape of it. The emptiness..."
Megumi frowned. Urd and Skuld stood behind her,
peering around, trying to see what it was that Keiichi was
talking about.
He beckoned them in, motioning them near where he
sat.
All three filed into the room, taking the clutter in.
Urd tried to speak, "Keii-"
Keiichi shushed her, "No... just look" He gestured to
the pane of glass.
The two goddesses gasped. Megumi simply stared at the
stack of cutlery, cloth, and paper in bewilderment. She
tilted her head a little to the right, then she saw it.
Like one of those magic eye paintings that you had to be
looking at just right to see it clearly.
It was the figure of a tall, slender woman, wearing a
sweater and a long skirt. Her hands were clasped in front
of her as if in prayer. On her fingers was a small but
obviously expensive ring. Her face in calm repose, but with
a small, tranquil smile. She seemed to glow and about her
head was a halo.
If the eye lingered to long on any single detail, she
would suddenly become no more than her components... the
skirt was an old futon from that room no one used. The
sweater, that hand-knitted one Keiichi always wore. Her
halo was made of knives and forks and her feet from
teacups. Her face was a mosaic of cut up photographs. But
taken together...
"Wow." Megumi breathed. "It's beautiful."
"Yes... she is. I can almost remember now..." Keiichi
said quietly. "So many of memories, all of her. She brought
out that smile. I know... I really know now..."
Urd and Skuld simply kept quiet in the background.
Tears were trickling down Skuld's face.
"We didn't have to tell him..." Urd murmured.
Skuld simply shook her head.
The light from the setting sun kept Keiichi's
creation aglow and for a moment, they could all swear the
figure moved... preparing to step off of the reflective
glass pane to which she was affixed.
The End
I loved the original of this story. It was very short
and very subtle. I like subtle. Unfortunately, I'm not
very good at subtle myself. Sometimes I'm a little too
subtle, and the rest of the time, I give myself away
too soon. But I also liked twisting and tweaking things
within the logical boundaries set by the story. So
this is my interpretation of what would happen in
TimeRunner's set up. I basically wandered a lot further
from the original then TimeRunner did in writing his
reprise to my 'Two Hearts of One Mind', but the point
of the exercise was to write in our own styles. And
mine tends to get away from me if I let it. Hence,
this.
Send C&C public and private, I love 'em both
and Lord knows I haven't had my fix of C&C in a good
long while now.
-sincerely,
Scriv
w.o.m./w.o.d.
The Scriviner's Vault
http://www.geocities.com/scriviner/