Subject: [FFML] [GW][kinda WAFFy] The Famous Witch
From: Alan178@aol.com
Date: 4/22/2000, 7:52 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

Konbanwa, minna-san.  I hope you enjoy this little 
ficcy.  All C+C requested but please be gentle to me.
::Whimpering::

Disclaimers:  The characters don't belong to me.

The Famous Witch
    By Alan Kim

    There once was a famous witch named Dorothy 
with freaky looking split eyebrows who worked hard 
on her potions and magic.  Many people came to ask 
her for advice and buy her potions.  However, she was 
unhappy.  "What good is it that I'm well known only 
now?  After I die, no one would ever remember me 
anymore!"

    Then she came up with the world's most 
fabulous plan to be remembered for all eternity.  You 
see, Dorothy has a younger brother named Trowa.  
Trowa was about sixteen years old with bangs of baby 
soft brown hair hung down over emerald green eyes.

He had skin like soft white petals.  Dorothy 
decided to summon the gods and promise whoever 
could make her famous to marry her brother.

    The witch made preparations and cast her spells 
to summon the gods.  The gods were not happy with 
this idea, neither was Trowa who was never asked if he 
would agree with this plan.  "I can't believe this.  She's 
selling me off like I was some kind of exotic pet!"  And 
the gods agreed with this.  They also promised each 
other not to go with this plan.  

    The witch cast one spell after another but none 
of the gods came.  Then one day, Dorothy got lucky.  
A golden squirrel named Quatre answered to her 
summons.  Quatre was there during the gods' 
agreement but being a squirrel with a relatively small 
brain, he forgot about it.  With a puff of smoke he 
arrived at Dorothy's cottage.  He looked up at 
Dorothy with shining blue eyes. "Nuts?"

    Dorothy stared at the squirrel god before she 
threw a fit.  "The only god who answered me is this 
ridiculous squirrel?"  She then calmed down and 
thought it over, * A god is still a god.   Who cares if it 
is just a squirrel god? *  She bent down to face the 
small god.  "Listen Quatre, I'll give you my brother's 
hand in marriage if you'll make me famous for 
eternity."

    Quatre looked up at her confused.  "What is a 
brother?" he asked.  "A new kind of nut?"

    "No!" Dorothy began pulling out her hair.  "He is 
a boy, my younger sibling, the most desirable male in 
this whole country."

    "Ohhh I see. A whole country of nuts.  I want."

    "No!  You stupid squirrel, my brother is."

    "Brother a nut?  Where's nut?"

    Dorothy decided to give up.  "Go all the way to 
the east.   You'll find nuts there."  With that Quatre 
ran off in the speed that surpasses even the Wing 
gundam.  She breathed out a sigh of relief.  
"Talk about a nut," she muttered.

    The squirrel god ran all the way to the coast.  
Miles and miles of glorious white sand covered the 
beach.  Quatre began to dig for his nuts.  Within an 
hour it was decimated to nothing but millions of holes.  
"No nuts here," he declared.  He ran all the way back 
to the witch's cottage.  "No nuts on beach."

    Dorothy turned and screamed," You again."  
The squirrel didn't hear her and was busy digging 
through her skirts in search of a promised nut.  * I'll 
have to get rid of him.  Hmmm... I'll send him to 
the Bottomless Lake.  Even a god would drown in 
there.*  "Stop that.  Go to the east to search for the 
nuts."

    "Nuts?" asked Quatre hopefully.  "In the east?  Sure?"

    "Yes, I'm sure.  Go, you troublesome squirrel, leave me be."  

    Unfortunately, Trowa foiled her plan.  He had 
been listening at the door since his sister began her 
summoning for the gods.  He loved all kinds of animals 
and didn't want Quatre to die.  Fortunately, he just 
bought a bag of walnuts and caught the squirrel god 
before he left.  "Here Quatre.  I have some nuts."

    Upon hearing the word 'nuts' Quatre bounced 
into Trowa's lap  as he sat down.  He sat on Trowa's 
lap as he ate and cuddled against the boy's offering 
hand.  When the bag of nuts was gone, he looked up 
at the boy for more.  "Sorry Quatre.  I have no more."

    "No more?  Easy to fix."  The small god
focused on the bag and it became filled with walnuts.  
He began to eat some more of it.

    Dorothy was steaming mad.  "What good is
 that he could magically refill the bag with nuts?  I have 
no use of it."

    "No like nuts?"

    "No!  I want some gold and fame!!"
"Oh, easy to fix."  Quatre turned his attention back to 
Trowa.  "Dump nuts out."  Trowa turned the bag 
upside down.  The walnuts left in the bag fell out and 
instantly turned into gold.  "There.  All done.  Bye-bye 
nut boy."  And with a puff of smoke, he was gone.
    
"Now that's more like it."  As Dorothy bent down to 
pick up one of the golden walnuts, it turned back into 
its original form.  But when Trowa touched it, it turned 
back into gold.  "That no good squirrel!"  Whatever 
gold she touched turned into walnuts.  She began to 
pull out her hair until she was bald.  Trowa had no 
choice but to send her into the asylum.  She got one of 
her wishes granted.  Her story is still told today and 
laughed at it.  Dorothy became known as the witch 
who turned gold into walnuts.

    Trowa was intelligent to know that magic did 
not last.  The bag only gave her gold for a year.  But 
before the year ended, he poured out a king's ransom
 of  gold.  Quatre never forgot about his nut boy.  

The squirrel god turned himself into a human 
and his intelligence grew.  Quatre became a beautiful 
teenage boy with golden hair and deep blue eyes.  He 
then married his nut-beauty and the couple lived 
happily ever after.

~Owari

Hoped you enjoyed that.  Ja ne.

~Alan Kim
Duo's unknown and insane cousin who likes to crossdress
Owner of the Frying Pan of Doom


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