Here's a little something I wrote up and had several people comment on
it already, so I thought I'd post it here and see if you had any
comments to add.
@@@ The Warped Gate @@@
The night sky twinkles with distant lights, billions of star wink
back. Many of those lights team with life far different than that of
our own. Creatures of various shapes and sizes, some not much different
from ourselves, others more bizarre than anyone dare imagine. Talking
mushrooms, were once thought as merely a hullucination, now they are
reality. Small fuzzy things with 8 legs, Large Hairless things which
use Small houses for foot stools.
The wonder of the galaxy focuses it's gaze on the insignificant world
on the edge of the galaxy. A small blue planet which we Terans call
home, Earth. Why have these creatures whose immense technology have
come calling on our pitiful little planet. Conquest - No, Development -
No, Charity - No, band aids - no. They have come because we possess a
culture which is truly unique throughout the known Universe.
With that, many races spanning huge space covering empires have come
humbly to this small little planet to learn.
But not all are happy with this, small corners have gathered together,
and have created a new dread, a name yet unheard. One that will shake
the universe, and cause Billions to drop to their knees and howl with
laughter. The doughnut liberation and really bad people soceity. Yes
Terror has a new name, and it's really stupid.
"Lord Tin Lips, we are approaching The Planet Dirt" intones a
faceless minions all dressed in plaid. The colours themselves are truely
a thing to behold, as Bright greens clash with vibrant orange, and muted
browns. Kind of like a disco pumpkin. GAG!!!!
"Thank You, Thank you very much!" returns the reply in a classic
imatation of The King. A being turns in it's chair to face the view
screen, in one hand it holds a wine glass, half full. In the other hand
you see him holding a bottle of wine labelled, Rodregious 98 1/2. His
style of dress obviously didn't come from a derange halloween party. As
the being is dressed in a Black Dress suit, complete with black loafers,
and Black shades. The face can not be seen as the whole face seems to
be covered in a steel mask of some sort. The being watches the view
screen for several longs moments, before breaking the silence. "They
dare give this insignificant planet the glory of being the greatest
culture in the universe. They will learn their error soon. No one can
thumb their nose at us, We The doughnut liberation and really bad people
society will never, I say again never will allow it. The galaxy will
bow on it's knees before us. That and the fact we must capture all
those helpless doughnuts and torture them ourselves. These earthlings
have absolutely no class when it comes to true terror."
"Lord Tin Lips, we are aproaching the outer defensive perimeter."
Just then a small figure dressed in a brown ninja outfit goes
screaming by the view screen, "MMMMMMYYYYYY PAAAAANNNTTTIIIIEEESSSS!!!!"
"Correction we are now with in the defeisive perimeter." intones the
faceless minion.
"Raise the cloaking shield" commands The Black Suited menace.
"Lord Tin Lips, I have an object approaching us at a high rate of
speed. It should hit us in 12 seconds."
"Did we jump out of warp to soon, they shouldn't have detected us so
soon. The I'm an innocent asteriod hiding a bad man spaceship sticker
is still on, isn't it." The being with dark glasses exclaims.
"Yes sir, the sticker is right where it's supposed to be. Impact in 5
seconds."
"Take evasive action!" The Dark suited man yells as he jumps up to a
standing postion.
"To late, brace for impact!" The faceless minion screams in terror,
"MOMMMYYY!!!! I want my Barney doll."
A moment later a youth with black hair and pony tail, dressed in a red
chinese shirt hits the view screen. "Kawaiikune!!" Before it drifts
back down to the planet below.
The man in the Black suit turns to the faceless minion of evil.
"You'll bring no Barney toys aboard this vessel unless you give them to
me. THERE MINE I TELL YOU ALL MINE, HOW DARE YOU DEGRADE A MONUMENT TO
ALL EVILDOM."
The camera spans around the room, and you see the rest of the minions
with large sweat drops running down the ack to their heads, as the man
in Black laughs histerically.
"Lord Tins Lips, the cloaking shield is now up and at full power.
Nothing will be able to detect us."
"Good, watch the planet below, especially a place called Tokyo. The
galatic Congress has set up secial schools to teach Earth culture, and
one of those schools resides there."
Just then a knocking can be heard from the port window. A Faceless
minion wanders over opens the window to see whose there. A Cabby looks
at him and snarls, "Hey you can park this thing here, it's resevered
parking for the Universal taxi, and Get as lost while costing you money,
In care of Nabiki Tendo comany."
"Oops sorry didn't see that, we'll move right away."
"See that you do!" growls the cabby.
"Oh mighty Lord Tin Lips, we have to move the ship, wew are illegally
parked." The faceless minion turns to The man in Black.
"What move, never, the doughnut liberation and really bad people
society shall never be routed. All must cringe before us" The man in
Black strikes a dramatic pose.
"The cabby said it this space is owned by a Nabiki Tendo, oh Great
Lord Tin Lips." The faceless minion of evil adds.
The man in Black turns pale, and deflates to half of his normal size,
"Down just stand there move the ship. There's no disgrace fleeing
before a superior opponent."
The entire bridge crew facefaults.
************
Meanwhile, several teens stare through a telescope at the starry
night. L'Drey turns to Grunt, "have you ever seen a worse paint job in
all your life!"
"Only once!" Grunt answers
"Oh! what happened?" L'Drey inquires.
"I ate it." Grunt replies with a perfectly straight face.
"How did you stomach it?" returns L'Drey.
"I didn't!" Grunt answers back.
"Oh?" L'Drey raises his eye brow at his friend.
"The ship was called space barf" finishes Grunt with complete aplomb.
L'Drey simply turns away, shaking his head and muttering under his
breath.
<< And here you thought Strangness was dead. :) >>
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