"Excuse me," she said, taking a deep breath that was almost
calm. "What the hell is going on here?"
--------------------
End of Part Twenty-Three
Author's notes:
This isn't a dark fic. Really! I swear! Things are going to
get better in the next (hopefully concluding -- but how many
times have I said that? >_<)
ARRRHRHRHHAHAHAHAHAHRHRHRHRHRHRHRRHRHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!!!!!!
Damnit, Krista! AAAAAAHAAHAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay. Now that I've got that out of my system....
C&C...
While the pacing for the scenes between Ranma and Akane were just right, I
still feel like the Nabiki-Kunou scenes move a little slowly. While the
content is good, I feel that you could trim a few lines here or there to
speed along the general progression of the story.
Waiting for 23 with a stop-watch.
C.
* * *
C. Jones - guilty@furinkan.net
http://www.furinkan.net
Two skies are falling. Assume two perfectly spherical
Chicken Littles and two round, featureless planets. One
atmosphere is 1.78 times denser than normal and is
imploding at the speed of sound. The other is composed
entirely of Sarin gas. On which planet will Chicken
Little survive the longest?