Yo. I've been gone, due mostly to real life grabbing me by the gonads and spitting on me. (Figuratively speaking) That caused me to pay a bit of attention to it, so I've been ignoring you wonderful people... Anyhow, this is the first of (way too) many fics ive got backed up. Oh, and if the formatting is screwed or something, drop me a line, eh? Thanks.
-Forrest "DUNOTS" Walker
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http://www.n2mail.com
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[YO YO YO! It's me, your old pal, Forrest "DUNOTS" Walker! This is a wierd story I got the idea for in a dream (Who'da thunk, eh?). It's kind of a fusion, inasmuch as it takes place within my GaengerWelt setting (see http://DUNOTS.tripod.com for details), but that setting isn't mutually exclusive with Ranma 1/2, so I don't think it counts. Anyhow, if you find it confusing, don't worry. Or do. I'll try to make all clear over the course of the story, but if you don't feel cool with it, as it were, or just have any C&C, email me at Big_Joe@n2.com. (Please, don't just reply to this post; that's a different address.) Ciao!]
The First Time Around
Prologue
"You are SO uncute!"
"Jerk!"
A young man dressed in red and black soared upwards, over the head of a black-haired woman who happened to be walking next to the Tendo Dojo. A smile crossed her almost weary face. To the normal observer, she appeared to be somewhere in her early forties. That description is accurate enough.
As the young man ran past her and into the Dojo, she sighed, "I still can't believe it."
Every day for the past year, she had walked past the Dojo, and she still couldn't believe fate's sense of humor. She had yet to accept that all of this was really happening. Today would be the day she confronted it. Gathering her resolve and clenching her fists, Akane of Soun knocked on the door.
"I'll get it," Kasumi called, to no one in particular. Her father and Mr. Saotome were playing shogi, Nabiki was in her room studying, and the "happy" couple were doing the usual.
Opening the door, Kasumi was greeted by the sight of a woman around Mrs. Saotome's age, dressed in what could best be described as a gi suit. This style had a good chance of succeeding in Nerima, all things considered.
"Hello," Kasumi greeted, "May I help you?"
"I need to speak with, um, everyone, I guess..."
Kasumi led the way inside. "Oh. Are you a friend of Father or Mr. Saotome?"
"Not really."
Kasumi motioned for her to sit at the table. "I'll go call everyone in. Please, stay here. Oh, would you like some tea?"
"No thanks," the woman answered, looking somewhat nervous.
"What's all this about?" Soun Tendo asked, upon joining the rest of the household at the table.
The youngest daughter, whom Akane recognized as being the other Akane, looked at her intensely for a moment. That was understandable. The physical resemblance was slight, but it was there.
"My name," Akane of Soun began, "Is Soun no Akane."
Much as she expected, they all gave her looks ranging from disbelief, to confusion, to complete blankness. Mostly it was the one called Ranma giving her the blank look.
"Excuse me?" Akane Tendo asked.
"As I said, my name is Akane, and my father was Soun."
The middle daughter sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"
Given some of the events Akane had seen them bear witness to, it was an easy question to answer.
"No... no, it can't be!" The man she knew to be Genma Saotome shouted.
Soun was taken aback. "What, Saotome?"
"She... she must be Akane... COME BACK THROUGH TIME!"
Ranma gave his father a look. "I'd say that's a stupid idea, but it's the only one I can think of that makes any sense."
Young Akane looked at the older woman with confused, and maybe hopeful eyes. "Is it true? Are you me?"
Akane of Soun laughed, "No, I'm not you. I'm a different Akane. But not totally different."
"What do you mean, not totally different?" Young Akane asked.
"History has a funny way of repeating itself," Akane answered, "The only way for me to explain this properly is to just tell you my story, I guess."
All the others looked at her expectantly.
Just then, an indigo haired girl glomped onto Ranma firmly, rubbing her head against his.
"Ranma take Shampoo to date!"
As the others leapt in surprise, Akane of Soun simply added, "Absolutely amazing."
The girl stopped her rubbing and looked up at Akane.
"Who strange woman? She your mother, Akane?"
Nabiki intoned, "Actually, we're not quite sure who she is either, but she was about to tell us before you interrupted."
"That's all right," Akane of Soun commented, "This concerns Lumpy, too."
"Lumpy?" Genma asked.
"I mean Shampoo. That was my pet name for her."
Once again, everyone looked at Shampoo, who seemed overall confused.
"Shampoo not know what lady talking!" Shampoo insisted.
Soun took the initiative and asked, "Please, can you tell us your story before anyone else interrupts?"
Akane grinned. "Sure. It all began in the year -28,246 Ts..."
"The year WHAT?" Ranma interrupted.
"Terran Standard years. You'd call it 28,246 BC, which is to say, 16,247 years ago."
Unexpectedly, Kasumi interjected, "What an interesting way to number years." Everyone else was having trouble reconciling the date and the woman in front of them.
"You mean to tell us that you were alive sixteen thousand years ago?" Nabiki asked sarcastically.
Akane had a realization. "Oh yeah! You guys don't know about we Aria!"
"Shampoo head hurt!"
"Basically," Akane continued, "Like all other alien races in this galaxy, we're descended off of humans."
Funny looks.
"Um, it involves a bit of time travel. Anyhow, we Aria are the most highly evolved. Plus, we get these perks, like living a thousand times normal human length."
Genma nodded. "I can see how that might be useful."
"The easiest way to spot us is by our eyes."
Young Akane looked into Akane's eyes and gasped. "They're like a cat's! wow..."
"So, as I was saying, the year was -28,246 Ts, and I was but 11,102 years old."
Young Akane added, "SO does that mean you were a kid or an adult like now?"
"I was about as mature as a twelve or thirteen year old."
A couple people made motions as if to say something, but stopped, know its underlying futility.
Akane continued again, "That was the year I came to Marue, a big city on the planet Sareja. Sareja is in House Vesadi of the Gaians, who are one of those other alien races. They're basically like you, except for some funny marks on them, which look like tattoos. Oh, and they don't know about us Aria either, so I could sort of fit in."
For the umpteenth time, everyone seemed totally lost.
"Don't worry about it, it's the story that's important. Speaking of which..." Akane cleared her throat, "I'll never forget that year, or that spaceport, because that's where I met my first true love."
"How romantic," Kasumi commented, "Who was he?"
"She," Akane corrected, "Was a girl everyone called Shampoo."
Shampoo, who had been silent and unmoving, suddenly collapsed. "Aiyaa! Shampoo no remember this! Shampoo not even born! What lady talking?"
Everybody facefaulted.
"It was a different Shampoo," Akane explained.
"Okay," Shampoo exclaimed happily, suddenly sitting up and smiling, "Shampoo get now! You alien woman what live long time, go to Gaian city, meet girl, fall in love. Girl have same name Shampoo, obviously very beautiful. Shampoo want hear story! ... Does have Ranma?"
A few people sighed. The others stared at Shampoo in disbelief.
"Just like Lumpy," Akane muttered, "To answer your question, Ranma doesn't show up till later."
Ranma's eyes went wide. "WHAT? There's a copy of ME in there, too?"
"I told you history repeated itself."
"The mind boggles," Nabiki added, this time serious.
Akane steeled her resolve again, and continued speaking, "Now, if I could just tell the story, or at least the first part? Just, uh, hold all questions to the end, alright? Thanks.
"Okay, here goes..."
[Notes: What did I tell ya? Confused. I pretty much know how the story's gonna go; I just have to write it. Now, just remember, these are different people, but fundamentally the same, if that makes any sense. Oh well, you'll see what I mean as the story pans out. As to why Akane calls Shampoo "Lumpy?" I don't know myself. That's just the name Akane used in my dream, and I thought it was funny. Also, the scene I'm gonna have of them when they first meet is straight from my dream (as is the crime syndicate setting), so blame my subconscious, not me.
Another interesting point: In my dream, the planet was Mar Sara (yes, from StarCraft) and it was ruled by Jabba the Hutt. Shampoo sort of took Akane under her wing and taught her to live on the mean streets that she grew up on. (That's still the premise, really.) And then giant robots in the form of Volvos and Mercedes Benzes fought and caused a mess. (They were guardians, something else I'll eventually explain) Just thought someone might find that interesting.]
VOOON!