First, thanks to everyone for the C&C. I dunno what's going on with the asterisk crap. I'll play around to see what's going on... Also fixed the "1940" typo several have pointed out.
Anyway, I posted it knowing it was flawed, but not quite grasping what was wrong. I think Mr. Gilson got at what most disturbed me about the fic without conciously realizing what it was.
Michael Gilson <mgilson@home.com> 03/21 12:32 AM >>>
I have mixed feelings about this. I did enjoy it, but it
seems too much like the attitudes of 1990's Ranma to believe
in 1941.
I agree. Another problem is, as someone else pointed out, it's not "Japanese" enough. After I reread my fic keeping this comment in mind, I think it's still too American. I guess it's natural, since I'm an American, but fixing this is going to be my priority for the third draft. Of course, I will keep other comments in mind, too.
The views expressed in these letters would tend
to bring down the wrath of the Kampei-tai thought police.
And Ranma lets slip too much military info for the letters
to get past military censors.
True, true. I was very aware of this when starting out, but I'm not attempting to get absolute historical accuracy. One thing I decided early on was to sacrifice a little reality in order to more easily document the changes in Ranma.
This doesn't mean I'm abandoning all efforts at accuracy, however. While I can do better (and will try in the next draft), the dates and campaigns are accurate. In fact, WWII buffs should have a real good idea where Ranma's unit is going after reading the last letter in part 1. Believe me, I chose the dates carefully (except, of course, for the inadvertant 1940... well, no one's perfect, I guess)
Thanks, all!
tom.