C&C would be appreciated
The Name
By Bastet's Chosen (Matthew Lewis)
Disclaimer:
Sailor Moon and the characters in that world are not mine, and
never have been. Seeing as I write this with the utmost respect and I'm
not making any money off it, I hope to avoid any lawsuits.
It's not the name.
Shakespeare was right; Usagi or Serenity, it's
still me. I'm not the one that changes.
It's what they mean when they say Serenity.
I don't want to be Serenity for them. That means
that they need Serenity. That they've failed to manage
on their own. I don't want that to happen, I don't want
to be needed.
I want to be Serenity. I want to stop people from
hurting. I want to make things better. I want to make
it all work.
And I will be. Some time in the future they will
fail and will need me and ice will cover the Earth. I
might even bring it, defeating some new threat. That
might even be best. It wouldn't be nuclear winter, it
wouldn't be the imposition of some enemy killing
millions. I think most people would rather sleep in ice
for a while rather than have their life force drained to
kill others. Nuclear winters bother me. Waiting for
isotopes to go away would be a good reason to pause our
lives for so long. I hope it isn't. I hope it won't
be.
I have some selfish reasons. It'll be harder for
people to be friends with Serenity than Usagi, because
of who Serenity is. I made a mistake telling Rei about
fighting Galaxia and Chaos. She figured it out. She's
Sailor Mars because she is Mar's star seed. The body is
a just a reflection of the star seed; that's why you
fade when it's removed. Ami is Sailor Mercury because
she is Mercury's star seed. But I'm not Sailor Moon.
My star seed is the Silver Crystal. I'm the Silver
Crystal. I'm Sailor Cosmos.
And I told Rei. Before I figured it all out. And
she figured it out. She doesn't say anything. She
doesn't treat me differently. Well, continuing those
tongue wars might be a little obstinately unchanged, but
I love her for it. But then, I love everyone. I love
her more for it. It's not the same way I love Mamo-chan.
I'm not ready to see how close it is, though.
She knows. I don't think she prays to the kami
anymore. She doesn't even pray anymore, really; she
asks. She concentrates, she meditates, but she doesn't
supplicate; she asks. She asks, because she's
addressing her friends. Mina, Makoto, Ami. And me. I
can't be sure about the others but I can feel when she
asks me.
So it won't be so bad. I'll have my Senshi, and
they'll still be my friends. I'll have my Mamo-chan.
I'm so happy they're with me. Because even if they
weren't here, if the cost of having them call me
Serenity was loneliness, I would still do it.
Because they hurt.
Because I love them.
Author's notes:
Well, I've rewritten the third chapter of Balance and Ruin (BGC/El
Hazard fic) three times already, and in the middle of a final, but this
forced its way out of my head. I feel like it's become fashionable to
paint Sailor Moon with a darker brush than the original. Crystal Tokyo
brainwashing its citizens and Usagi's christ like death to bring us a
'perfect' world are usually the two main ways its done. And they
work. They fit, and it's not like you'll find another well known series to
rail against 'utopias' with. And its good those messages get out. But I
get sad seeing something that could be so nice twisted like it needs to be
twisted to convey those messages so well. So I guess, like Usagi, I feel
that it's good it happens, but I'd rather it wasn't needed.
("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
Bastet's Chosen `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
mal@bulldog.georgetown.edu (
_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'
_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
(il).-'' (li).' ((!.-'
Beware of organizations that proclaim their devotion to the light without
embracing, bowing to the dark; for when they idealize half the world they
must devalue the rest.
-Miriam Simos