On Wed, 15 Mar 2000 20:52:42 -0600, Steve Pardue wrote:
Genma's Daughter
Part 2
Original concept and sketch by Steve Pardue
Story by Deborah Goldsmith and Steve Pardue
I just finished part 2 and I must I like this story a lot. Very
WAFFy, had me teary-eyed at some points, ROTFL at other points.
Regrettably it takes me so long to do a proper C&C that I doubt I'll
be able to send any before Saturday or Sunday night, if then.
Some of my favorite Ranma stories have dealt with him having to live
as a girl. I don't think I've seen your variation before. It's
quite compelling to me, for reasons I won't go into.
I would like to mention that Parts 1&2 actually make a fairly
complete story. It has a beginning, a roller-coaster of a middle and
decently resolved ending with Ranko facing forward toward the future
with high if not great expectations.
True, there are some things that need further resolving. Kuno,
Genma, Soun to name a few. But when I finished Part 2 I felt it was
a good ending.
What I am trying to say is that it is obvious that the ending of Part
2 is not a cliff-hanger. Instead, when I finished I felt a certain
amount of satisfaction that things had turned out well for Ranko.
This type of story could have taken a very darker turn if you had
wanted it to do so.
I am, therefore, with a lot of chutzpah, suggesting that, when you
finally get the inevitable revisions and corrections done, you
rename Part 3 as a new story. A continuation of the first story
"Genma's Daughter", maybe "Genma's Daughter: The Junior Year" or
"Genma's Daughter: School Days". You get the idea.
Anyway, it's just a suggestion. I'll enjoy reading the story as it
continues in whatever form you issue it. ^_^
Richard Person
Seattle
<Where the Sunshine, dry or wet, never ends>