Symmetry of Pain
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I traveled to those foreign lands seeking one thing and one thing only:
vengeance.
I ended up getting far more than I bargained for.
I guess the best place to start would be right at end of the journey. An
irony, that, but then life is full of irony. There were important events
that led to the beginning of the journey, of course, but here is where it,
for all intents and purposes, ended.
The trails leading to the remote mountain village were actually quite well
worn. Between that and the directions we had been given in Kwanglung, it
made finding our way easy. It would have been simpler still if Mr. Saotome
had remembered the way, but he had left in a hurry the last time he was
there, so I suppose he could be forgiven.
The mountain air was crisp and noticeably cleaner than what was back home.
The temperature noticeably dipped several degrees as the three of us made
our way up the mountain, though dark clouds had gathered overhead and
blocked out the sun, which helped lower it all the quicker. We paused only
long enough to relieve ourselves and eat some of the rice and dried trail
mixes Father had packed for us. I had very little, forcing myself to eat
despite having no appetite. It was a condition I had been suffering from
for some months. Mr. Saotome ate the most, but it was just a shadow of the
amount of food he usually consumed. It wasn't surprising. We were quickly
approaching the moment that would lead to the culmination of months of
preparation and training. There were more important things on our minds
than eating.
We were no more than a couple of miles from the village when the first
notes of a melody drifted towards us from somewhere up ahead. The tune was
bright and cheerful, reminding me of simpler times when I was a small
child, nothing more than an uncomplicated creature full of an innocence I'd
never feel again. That realization made me feel bitter. The melody that had
probably been composed to bring joy to people's lives served only to darken
my spirit. It weighed me down, and I needed no such distractions from my
goal.
As we drew closer to the origin of the music, my depression grew until I
felt as though I would fall to my knees and cry, had I not lost that
ability so long ago on the night of pain. I picked up my pace, hoping to
get to the musician and silence the song before it messed up my
concentration badly.
Father and Mr. Saotome kept pace and within minutes we saw the musician.
She sat back in the high, wide branches of a tree, playing a long silver
flute from which the bright melody came. She wore a cheogsam, mostly red
with a green border that fell across her frame somewhat loosely. From where
I was below, I judged her to be pretty, oddly enough reminding me of my
mother in some strange way. I think it was because the stranger's hair
style was so similar to hers.
As we came within several paces of the tree, she stopped playing. She
looked the three of us over, examining us closely, then shifted her body so
that she fell from the tree. For a moment I thought she had fallen, until I
saw her tense up and her body shift in mid-air. I relaxed as she landed
nimbly, her knees bending only slightly as though she had made a jump of
only three feet instead of thirty. Of course she would know martial arts.
Didn't everyone from around here know them?
The woman gave a soft, guarded smile toward our little party. She came
within four or five long paces before saying in Chinese, "Greetings,
travelers. Where do you hail from?"
"Japan," I answered before either Father or Mr. Saotome could. It was for
the best; my Chinese was far better than either of theirs. I had spent more
hours than I cared to count learning it so that I would not sound foolish
or inferior, like that bitch did. I might not have been fluent, but I could
both speak and understand it well enough for what I needed to do.
"You have traveled far," the woman said, giving us a look that showed
neither suspicion or hostility. That irritated me slightly. I had hoped she
would have been antagonistic and unfriendly. I wanted to think of her and
her kind as things. Adversaries. Enemies. Not as people, like me or my
friends. The latter would only serve to distract me from my goals.
"We have come here seeking the village of Joketsuzoku," I said.
That aroused a slight curiosity in the woman; it was written all over her
face. "Might I be so bold as to ask why?"
"I seek to challenge one of the villagers," I answered
"Who?" she asked.
"Shan Pu." I made certain to pronounce her name correctly. It wouldn't do
to think I was being insulting; too much was at stake for me to ruin it all
by making a stupid mistake like that.
The woman considered my words. After several moments of silence, she said,
"Joketsuzoku is my home. I would be happy to guide you there. Please,
follow me."
I looked to my father and Mr. Saotome. I could see the concern in their
eyes. It was possible this was some sort of trap, but I doubted it. There
were a dozen more efficient ways to have set one up and the manner of the
woman, while eliciting trust, could have been far friendly if she wanted to
lure us into a false sense of security. Most likely she was nothing more
than a guard ordered to watch for travelers and head them directly towards
the village. It would be easier than having them randomly stumble about and
accidentally causing who knew what sort of havoc.
Like eating first prize in a tournament.
That thought gelled my own. If it was a trap, then it would be sprung and
then whoever made it would end up sorry. I'd make them sorry.
We agreed and she began leading us up the path we had already been taking,
the one that we had been told led to the village. That further reinforced
the idea that this was nothing more than a standard procedure for her, but
still I kept up my guard.
We walked in silence, at least at first. The strange woman maintained her
pleasant demeanor and eventually said, "My name is Jade. Might I ask your
names?"
Dad spoke up at this point. In heavily-accented Chinese, he said, "This one
is Soun Tendou." He pointed to himself, uncertain if his meaning was clear.
He then turned to me and Mr. Saotome. "This one is mine daughter, Akane
Tendou. And this one is Genma Saotome."
If the woman recognized our names, she gave no indication of it. "It is an
honor to meet people from such far off lands." She turned her attention
from my dad to me. "There is something you should know. Challenging a
member of my people is no simple thing. Certain forms must be maintained,
or there will be undesirable results from your challenge."
"I know all about them. I know what challenge I wish to make," I said
acidly, my tone clear, even in Chinese; I could tell from the way the
woman's demeanor changed. After some searching, I had managed to buy a book
of Amazon laws in Japan. A recent print that cost me a small fortune and
was worth every yen. I had what I needed to know memorized, permanently
etched into my mind. If Jade asked me any questions about Joketsuzoku
challenges, I could be able to answer them without hesitation.
I was disappointed as Jade merely nodded her head solemnly. There was still
no anger in her (at least none that I could sense) in my declaring that I
would challenge a member of her people, knowing the consequences of such an
action. Again, I found myself hoping for hostility, but again I was denied.
As we continued onward, the faint smell of woodsmoke became noticeable. We
were drawing close. I could feel it, and my heart began racing faster.
Soon, we crested the top of a small hill, and I set my eyes upon
Joketsuzoku for the first time.
I didn't know what to expect. Perhaps there would be a high wall
surrounding the place, making it seem like a giant fortress. A host of
armed Amazons walking around with weapons drawn, waiting to impale anyone
daring to draw too close. Something, anything to make it appear violent and
dark. But there was no wall. All the village contained were simple
one-story houses, none of them particular dark nor bright. There weren't
any sentries posted. The people didn't walk about with weapons drawn. All I
could see was them working at various, and disgustingly mundane, tasks, or
walking from one place to another, talking in pairs or in small groups, or
just standing alone. It looked just like every other village we had seen in
this area, identical save that there were more woman about then men.
But appearances didn't matter. I knew what they were really like. I would
be on guard, watching everything and everyone. According to the book, if I
made my challenge openly I should go unmolested, but who knew how close
they really stuck to their laws? Perhaps they would just attack me outright
and the three of us would fall then and there. A pessimistic view, perhaps,
but over the last few months I could see things in no other light.
As we approached the edge of the village, I saw everyone looking in our
direction, more in expectation than surprise. I wondered how that could be,
then it occurred to me that Jade had taken her time leading us here, and
she had not seemed overly surprised to see the three of us on the path.
Perhaps there had been another guard spotted us before, alerted Jade, then
gone on ahead to warn of our impending arrival. I became much more on
guard, realizing there were things going on that I did not know about.
Things were not what they seemed, and that suspicion helped fuel the anger
within me. I refocused myself on what I had to do. Soon, I would issue the
challenge. I didn't know what would follow, but that wasn't important.
Achieving vengeance was the only thing that mattered.
We approached a small woman, gnarled as a dried-up monkey and about as
tall, wearing a plain green robe. She had short gray hair, but there was an
aura about her that implied she had power that I could never match. The way
she held herself reminded me of one used to wielding influence over others,
like some of my more strict teachers back home. I knew that she was the one
that would judge if I had any right to issue a challenge. In theory, there
should have been no problem, but the book on laws had been vague when it
came to the authority of the village elders.
Jade led us directly towards the elder, most of the people of the village
beginning to draw closer in curiosity. There was no surprise in the small
woman's eyes; clearly she had been expecting us. All three of us bowed at
the same time Jade did. The old woman nodded her head only slightly in
return.
Jade began to speak, "Elder Be Dea. This outsider girl wishes to issue a
challenge to one of our villagers. Shan Pu." That caused a low rumble from
the ever-growing crowd around us.
For the first time, the old woman's face betrayed in emotion: mild
surprise. "Does she understand what challenging Shan Pu would mean?"
Jade looked at me, gave a sad look, then turned back towards Be Dea. "Yes,
she does understand and is still determined to do so." I was surprised Jade
took me at my word about understanding the laws. Apparently, she was
affording me a great deal of respect, more than I might have received at
home had I, a mere girl, been in a similar situation. I found myself
unwillingly respecting her back.
The elder moved closer, looking me over until she was no more than two feet
in front of me, forcing me to crane my neck down to look at her. Her little
oval face looked squarely up into mine. "Go home, Japanese girl. You are no
match for one of our champions."
Anger filled me, roaring through my ears and drowning out everything else.
How dare the little hag tell me I was inferior! It was the same damn
attitude Shan Pu had shown towards me, the same way everyone back home had
treated me, and I despised the little creature all the more for it. She was
underestimating me, and all because I wasn't one of her precious little
Amazons. But I was better now. I'd show her. I'd show them all.
Out loud, I said, "Even if what you say is the truth, it does not matter. I
wish to issue a challenge to her."
Much to my surprise, Be Dea just shrugged, obviously giving up. I had have
expected her to protest again or hit me for rejecting her advice. After
all, I was nothing more than an outsider. Perhaps she thought it wouldn't
be worth the effort and Shan Pu would resolve the matter anyway.
"It's your funeral," she said without the slightest hint of doubt in her
voice.
Her attempt at intimidation, or blindness in pride, failed. I would issue
the challenge anyway, and I would win, the consequences of my actions be
damned. Even if I knew the entire village would fall upon me after I won
and ripped me to shreds, I'd still do it. It would be worth it. My need was
that great.
Be Dea turned to one of the younger girls in the crowd. "Go fetch Shan Pu."
The girl turned to go, but then the crowd parted to allow someone to make
her way towards our group. Evidently one of the villagers had already gone
to inform Shan Pu of my presence the moment they learned I intended to
challenge her.
Shan Pu approached us without saying a word. As she drew nearer, I realized
that even as I looked upon her, it wasn't really Shan Pu I was seeing.
It was a bonbori poised high in the night sky, hesitating for the briefest
of moments as though it would be turned away...
...and then descending so quickly it was little more than a blur. It was
the sound of bone breaking as solid metal, backed by stone-breaking force,
met an arm raised blindly above a head to ward off a blow.
It was the mate of the first coming down just as hard on the arm,
shattering it irreparably.
And then the first sphere, having gone back up as its partner descended,
coming down a second time and meeting a skull.
Which was followed by the other bonbori coming down for a second time, on
the same new target, as the first.
And then a third blow.
And then a fourth, a bonbori now decorated in a bright splattering of
crimson.
And then a fifth, bathing itself in blood so as to match its mate.
And then a sixth, looking even more scarlet than before.
And then they stopped.
The bonboris and their wielder left by leaping over a wall, their task
complete. I remember running over, then falling to my knees and cradling
Ranma's broken head in my arms. Everything after that was a blank until I
woke up the next day in bed, and the horror of everything hit me all at
once. I screamed, but I didn't cry. I should have. Some part of me wanted
to, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't cry that day, or the next, or the
day after that, or the week after that, or the month after that. Even now,
with my memories forcing me to relive the pain of that horrible, night, I
still had no tears to shed.
Oh, but I did have hate. That I had in abundance.
"I, Akane Tendou, challenge you, Shan Pu of the Joketsuzoku, to a
one-on-one combat. To the finish." I kept my accusing finger leveled at
her, using the proper form the book of Amazon laws talked about when
issuing such serious challenges. There was no way it could be
misinterpreted as anything else.
I heard the crowd gasp in astonishment, despite knowing what my intentions
had been from the beginning. Perhaps they had thought an outsider such as
myself wouldn't go through with it. If so, then they were idiots. Nothing
would prevent me from fighting Shan Pu. Nothing.
Shan Pu just stiffened slightly, then nodded grimly. I found myself
surprised by her reaction, or rather lack of it. I had expected her to
boast or fume, giving me the same contemptuous stare she had always used
when regarding me, even when we were under the roof of my own home. But it
wasn't there. Instead, there was something else in her eyes. Something I
couldn't identify. I was still trying to figure out what it was when she
took a deep breath, then indicated I should follow her.
The crowd parted wider, allowing both myself and my two companions to
follow her. The elder traveled alongside us, looking impassive the entire
time. I couldn't say why that was, other than possibly she intended to keep
us out of trouble, or maybe she wanted to listen in on our plans. If it was
the latter, she would be disappointed. We had discussed the plan
beforehand, and knew what we had to do. We had tried preparing for every
eventuality, from Shan Pu's outright refusal, to the Amazons somehow
stacking the deck in their favor. But so far everything was running
smoothly, and hopefully it would stay that way.
We made our way to the outskirts of the village to a wide open area. The
elder indicated we should stop there, while Shan Pu continued on until she
stood directly across from me, about twenty meters away. The rest of the
villagers began to form a makeshift circle around us. However, there were
not enough to make it an unbreakable wall of flesh, even with new arrivals
coming every minute; the circle was too large.
I looked to the elder. "This isn't the challenge log."
Again my display of Amazon knowledge failed to surprise her. "For combat
such as this, between two such fighters, we would not risk the destruction
of the log. You shall fight on the ground instead. Worry not, there are no
tricks here. You will be allowed to have your challenge without
interference, not that it would change the outcome."
I turned to look at Shan Pu. Another elder, looking just as shriveled up as
Be Dea, hopped over on the end of a staff to stand next to Shan Pu. The two
of them spoke quietly to one another. I saw my opponent nod once, then
shake her head vigorously. Again she looked towards me, and again I was
disappointed to see not hate, but some other undefinable emotion in her
eyes. She refused to make this any easier on me by fueling my anger with
some unjustifiable hostility of her own. Not that it would stop me or save
her.
I noticed Be Dea scowling in Shan Pu's direction, then she returned her
attention to me. "I have no love for outsiders, girl, nor do I hold any
affection for Shan Pu either. There is no sense in you dying this day. Ask
Shan Pu for a pardon for your challenge, and I'll call this match off. It
is within my rights."
I just stared at her with a look that would have burned holes through her
if it could. She understood and backed away from me.
"You're certain you're ready for this?"
I looked towards my father, surprised that he would ask me such a thing.
Preparing for this was all that we had done since that night. "Of course."
"Are you certain you want to go through with this?"
That had come from Mr. Saotome. Now I was confused. After that night, he
had retreated into himself, a mere shell of the man he had been before.
Under the circumstances, I wouldn't have blamed him from drinking himself
into oblivion or leaving to wander the lands again, though this time alone.
I think that was all he knew about life. But he did neither of those
things. Instead, he had just seemed to sit around, sleep, and occasionally
eat, but not so much that he did not lose weight. He was unwilling to play
even a game of Shogi with my father. It wasn't until I asked him to train
me a week later, so that I might gain retribution, that he seemed to come
alive.
At first he was unenthusiastic, just going through the motions of training
me without putting any of his heart into it. It was like being taught be a
dead person. I think things would have remained that way until, in a fit of
blind frustration, I called him a lousy teacher and it was no wonder that
Ranma had died. I barely saw him move as he exploded, attacking and hurling
me through one of the walls of the dojo where I landed in the yard beyond.
I was an agony, physical pain that, while intense, fell well short of the
emotional one I carried within. Father surely would have stopped Mr.
Saotome had he been present, but he had gone out to help Kasumi purchase
groceries. We were alone.
Mr. Saotome pulled my fallen body up by my hair, and probably would have
hit me again had a not looked at him with the hunger that welled within me.
"Go ahead and hit me with everything you have if that's the only way you'll
show me the real techniques of the Saotome School of Martial Arts!" I spat.
That seemed to snap him out of his rage. He looked at me, I mean really
looked at me, and then set me down gently so that I was standing (shakily)
once again. "Very well," he said in that solemn tone he had always used
with Ranma, even when he was giving weak or useless information to him.
Although this time it was different. I could see resolve in his eyes as he
truly looked at me for what I believed was the first time since he had
arrived at the dojo.
>From that moment on, our training took a serious, almost deadly, edge to it
that had been lacking whenever I had trained with my father. I gave up
everything else in my life. I dropped out of school. I ignored my friends
completely, refusing to even return their calls. I never went anywhere
unless it involved training. The only people I spent time with were Mr.
Saotome and my family, and even then it was primarily only with my father.
Every hour of every day was spent in training in martial arts, until my
body failed and then I would switch to learning Chinese.
Mr. Saotome was an incredible trainer and put me through the same training
he had with Ranma. As time passed, I began to see how Ranma had become a
nearly invincible fighting machine. I tried to learn as best as I could,
though I felt I was still failing no matter how hard I tried. After a month
of intense training, Mr. Saotome gave his evaluation of me. I was slower
than Ranma, not as powerful, not as durable, not as graceful, and it took a
lot longer for me to learn techniques. But I could learn. And even if I
couldn't be what Ranma had been, I could be more than I currently was. Much
more.
More than enough to kill an Amazon in the name of vengeance.
At the end of a training regimen of what I would have termed hell (had I
not once cradled my fianc�'s broken form in hands and learned the true
meaning of the word), Mr. Saotome judged that I had learned all that I
could, or at least all that he could teach me in three months' time. My
need for justice, for closure, had become so great that it affected my
ability to learn new moves. Mr. Saotome told me that I was now better than
Shan Pu had been. Much better. Not enough that I should take her lightly,
for that would be the quickest way to defeat, but enough that I should
definitely achieve victory over her, in whatever form it should take.
And now Mr. Saotome was behaving as oddly as my father had been. "Of course
I want to go through with it. It's what you've trained me for. It's why
I've gone through all that I have and learned. It's why we're here."
He nodded his head, though I couldn't tell if it was in satisfaction or for
some other reason. "You've learned all I can teach you, for now, Akane. Now
it's up to you."
I understood what he meant: I was the only one that could truly avenge
Ranma.
At least that's what I thought he meant.
My father and Mr. Saotome backed away, and I turned to the inside of the
combat circle and faced Shan Pu. The initial wave of hatred I had towards
her tapered off, and went to just simmering beneath the surface. I needed
to keep it there so I would have full control over myself in the fight. Too
much hate would make me sloppy.
I cleared my mind as best as I could and truly evaluated the opponent I
would be facing. Now that I looked at Shan Pu with a more detached eye, I
realized something was off. She didn't look as particularly evil or wicked
as I remembered. There wasn't even the look of unbridled energy that had
been associated with her in the brief time she spent in my house. If
anything, there seemed to be an overwhelming sadness about her.
But it couldn't possibly compare to the one that I held within me. Even
after I was through with her today, it would still fall short of the
suffering that I had endured because of her. I'd show how I suffered by
unleashing it upon her with everything I had.
I began moving in. Shan Pu did likewise, matching my pace and stride. We
stopped no more than five feet apart from one another.
"<Akane should no be stupid and challenge Shampoo to match. Is no need.
Akane no can win and Shampoo no want to hurt her,>" she said to me in
Japanese.
"But I want to hurt you," I said, refusing to switch back to Japanese.
Since it was Amazon law that had begun this, it was only appropriate it end
with Amazon law as well, and that meant speaking in the language that they
used. "Where are your bonbori?" I wanted to have her use them against me
just as she had with Ranma. I wanted her to be exactly like she was on that
night, making the defeat perfect.
"Shan Pu no need them to deal with you."
There was still no arrogance in her eyes. Rather, that sorrowful look that
she had remained and ended up being directed towards me. That was all I
could take. How dare she feel remorse for me when she showed none to Ranma!
She was incapable of anything feelings like that! She was evil. I knew it.
It was all a trick she was using to try to lower my guard with sympathy.
I cursed her and immediately attacked. I could see the false remorse change
to surprise at the speed of my attack; she had thought I was still the
same, weak girl I had been before. She had thought beating me would be
easy. That mistake would cost her everything.
My punch connected with her stomach and drove her backward, though I was
surprised to discover that she felt a lot more solid than I had thought she
would. I landed effortlessly on my feet as her body fell to the ground.
Relentless, I kicked her while she tried to regain her footing, catching
her in the jaw. I saw some blood fly from her head as it snapped back, and
I wondered if I had managed to strike a fatal blow early. Some part of me
hoped not; I wanted her pain and suffering to last just as mine had. She
had to suffer before she died.
I tried kicking her again, but she rolled out of the way and to her feet. I
could see that her lip was split open, the source of that blood that had
gone flying. I felt some measure of satisfaction at that. I had scored with
first blood; a good omen.
Her eyes were slightly unfocused as she threw a punch at me, one so awkward
that I could have blocked even before my months of training. With my new
skills, I not only blocked it, but turned it into a body toss. Remarkably,
Shan Pu bounced back to her feet from the blow. But it was with her back to
me, so I got a clean shot into her kidneys, which drove her backwards
again.
My training was making it easy. I would have challenged her sooner had I
suspected I was this much better than her. As dazed as she obviously was,
it was a testament to her skills that she blocked a fist to her chest,
which had been nothing more than a faint as I drove my true attack, an open
palm thrust to her face, that nearly broke her nose.
"Fight back!" I snarled. I was disturbed at myself. I was not feeling as
appeased as I thought I would at seeing Shan Pu losing so badly. Beating
her to death, just like she had Ranma, was supposed to make me feel better.
She blocked the next series of punches aimed at her, so I went to the air
and struck her with a leap kick that connected with the top of her head.
She teetered backward and fell again.
I heard the villagers gasp and begin to give a variety of shouts of
encouragement to Shan Pu. Apparently, seeing their champion being
unexpectedly beaten so soundly shocked them, and they felt their support
could somehow help her.
They were wrong.
It was as I planned my next attack that I heard an anguished cry of "Shan
Pu!," far louder than the rest, reach my ears. I turned in the direction of
the sound and saw a young man, about my age, dressed in white robes and
wearing coke-bottle thick glasses leap over the crowd and into the circle.
At last the Amazon treachery I had feared had made its presence known. I
saw a set of chains suddenly shoot out from one of his voluminous sleeves
towards me. I prepared to jump out of the way of the threat when a staff
met the chains in mid-air, wrapping them up and preventing them from
reaching me. That was followed by an orange sash that snaked out from the
crowd and wrapped itself around the boy, pinning his arms to his side.
"What are you doing?!" he screamed at the elder that had hurled the staff,
the one that had been talking to Shan Pu earlier.
"This is an honorable challenge match!" she snapped at him.
"Shan Pu's dying!" he protested.
"That is her right." I saw the old woman shake her head sadly, then nod
towards the blonde girl that had the boy wrapped up in her sash. I quick
tug on the flowing garment sent the boy flying back into the crowd. The old
woman hurried back to the edge of the ring as well. It appeared my fears
about interference were groundless. At least the other Amazons seemed to
know something about honor.
The boy confused me though. I managed one good look in his eyes, and saw
nothing but total devotion when he gazed at the girl lying on the ground.
How could someone care so much for something as worthless as Shan Pu?
Shan Pu! I turned quickly to see her still lying on the ground. From the
point when the boy had leapt in to the moment when I returned my attention
to Shan Pu, the interference had taken less than five seconds. I still had
the advantage. Thoughts of the boy's misplaced caring flew from my mind as
I felt more angry than ever at almost losing the initiative. Shan Pu had
managed to get to her knees when I leveled another kick into her stomach.
She refused to fall over this time, so I aimed a punch to her jaw, which
she blocked, then struck with a haymaker to her stomach again. It felt like
punching a brick wall, but I was strong enough to shatter brick walls now.
I drew back my fist, intending to use enough force to break her hated face
in half. I took an extra second to muster all of the strength I had, made a
prayer to Ranma, wherever he was watching, and aimed right for the spot
between Shan Pu's eyes. I wanted to be looking into them when the light
faded from them forever. I screamed and lashed out at last, my fist coming
up to meet her face...
...and being stopped cold by Shan Pu's open palm.
"<Shan Pu think that enough of that,>" she said as a small flow of blood
continued to trickle from her lip. For the first time since I landed my
first kick, cognizance had returned to my opponent.
I was stunned by the seeming ease with which she stopped my blow. The
surprise was total, as my righteous vengeance was impossibly halted. For a
second, I left my mid-section open, which was all Shan Pu needed to launch
her own counter-attack. I saw her aim for my open spot, and tightened up my
stomach muscles to accept the blow. The endurance training I had
learned/suffered at the hands of Mr. Saotome would enable me to withstand a
dozen such attacks from her and still be waiting for more. I was already
planning my counter strike as I saw the fist about to hit me, and then for
some inexplicable reason my vision blurred, or so it seemed since I was
unable to make out her fist clearly. And then my guts exploded in pain.
All the air was driven out of me from the unexpected power behind the blow.
How could she have hit me so hard? She wasn't anywhere near that strong. We
had all seen her fight before, and she had never displayed that kind of raw
power. Yet it had happened, and I found myself gasping for air as I backed
away and tried to think of a defense until I got my wind back.
It was Shan Pu's turn to be relentless. She came at me with an incredibly
fast uppercut that caught me in the jaw. Curiously, it didn't hurt as much
as the blow to my stomach; nowhere near as much, and my vision did not blur
this time. I had no time to ponder that curiosity as she delivered a kick
into my leg, nearly breaking it. Then a roundhouse kick caught me in the
head.
Shouts of concern became cheers of delight as Shan Pu began to press an
advantage that shouldn't have been possible. I was better than her, much
better. Mr. Saotome, my father, and I had known it. She couldn't possibly
win. She couldn't!
I lowered my shoulder and shouted, "You bitch!" as I charged her. She
dropped to the ground and lashed out with her leg, kicking mine out from
under me. But I managed to twist my body around just enough to land on her,
our heads next to one another. For a moment, I lost control at being so
close to the person I hated more than anything, more than everything, else
in the world. All of my newly learned skills were forgotten as I did what
came instinctively to me and bit down on the part of her head nearest to
me: her ear.
I was rewarded by a scream of pain from her and felt the salty tang of
blood pour over my lips. The delight at my opponent's suffering was
short-lived as my stomach exploded in agony once again. The pain from the
blow caused my jaws to tighten as my head snapped back. I felt myself
thrown off her and to the side. I quickly regained my feet only to feel
something still in my teeth. I spat out the offending object: the top half
of Shan Pu's ear.
Blood poured from the wound and down my opponent's neck as she screamed out
in a mix of pain and rage and hit my face with her fist. I tried to block
it, but it was too little, too late. The blow connected directly above my
left eye, and I felt white shards of pain come not just from my face, but
from the orb itself. The view of the world from that eye went black as
shards of bone were driven into my optic nerves, severing them. I would
never see anything from that eye again.
The pain was far worse than anything I had ever felt before, but I would
not give up. I went beyond the pain and lashed out with my elbow into Shan
Pu's chest. I was rewarded with what felt like something give in her ribs,
and I heard her cry out in pain. My victory was short-lived as I fell
victim to a combination of kicks and punches that I was too dazed to see as
I was sent reeling backwards. As much as I wanted to deny it, what was
happening became obvious.
I was losing.
NO! I refused to lose. I had trained for months, suffered through endless
days and nights alone and in pain and wanting it to go away. Shan Pu was
the only one who could make it go away with her death, with ending my need
for revenge. She had to die by hand, even as Ranma had died by hers. It was
the only way I could ever know peace. I had trained until I was much better
than her. She could not possibly equal me and my skills. Dying was not an
option until she was dead too. I would not be denied that which I needed,
that which I deserved.
Within me, something snapped. Power unlike anything I had ever felt before
filled my form, giving me unbelievable strength. I knew what it was.
Towards the end of my training, Mr. Saotome had tried to teach me some
advanced techniques. But I failed to master them because I could not access
the power which flowed within every living person, the power of my chi.
But somehow, my anger had released a floodgate, and it could not have come
at a better time. I was dimly aware of a red glow surrounding me, chi
emanating from the rage I felt, giving me the strength to finish the job I
had started.
Shan Pu's eyes widened in shock. Apparently she understood what I had
tapped into as well. Much to my further anger, rather than backing away in
fear, a calm seemed to settle over her and she fell into a defensive
stance. If she had thought that would somehow blunt my anger, she was sadly
mistaken. I gave a cry of rage and attacked with everything I had.
Shan Pu was put on the defensive almost instantly. She didn't even try to
attack as I threw punch after punch, which she managed to dodge or deflect.
She yielded ground to me at a ridiculous rate, backing away, but not nearly
fast enough to actually escape me.
My red haze of rage, as well as only having vision in one eye, had made me
only dimly aware of the crowd backing away further, undoubtedly afraid of
the power I was now displaying. They need not have worried; there was only
one person that I was going to kill. It didn't matter if it was their
stupid laws that Shan Pu had been obeying; she was the one responsible for
her actions, and she was the one that would pay.
I noticed that my attack was forcing Shan Pu into making a critical
mistake; one that was going to cost her her life. She was retreating in a
circle, matching the one we were in, but the circle was getting
progressively smaller as I forced her continuously backwards. If she didn't
realize her mistake, the idiot was going to have to turn and run or stand
and face me. Either way she would lose.
As we finally got to the center of her retreating spiral, I saw through the
red haze that it was going to be the latter as Shan Pu stopped at last. I
shouted out something incomprehensible and launched one more attack at her.
Just as it was about to hit, she shouted out something about rising
dragons. The cry made no sense to me, and it mattered little. Perhaps her
mind had snapped once she realized she no longer had anywhere to run.
My fist was only a couple of inches away from her face when I suddenly
found myself lifted off the ground by some unknown force. I was hurled up
high and fast into the air, and was only dimly aware of a vortex of power
that surrounded me, hammering me with its hot and cold winds, driving all
the strength from my limbs.
And just as suddenly as it started, it stopped, and I was driven into the
ground like a falling meteorite, impacting hard enough to shatter the
ground beneath me and make a small impact crater.
I didn't know how long I lay there, completely senseless. I don't think it
was for more than a few moments, because my senses returned as I saw Shan
Pu approach me from several meters away. Blood continued streaming down the
side of her neck, and one of her eyes had swollen shut from one of my
earlier blows. From the look she gave me, I knew I would receive no mercy
from her. The fight was about to end, and there was nothing I could do
about it.
As I lay there and waited for the inevitable, it finally occurred to me
what hole there had been in my brilliant plan to improve my martial arts so
that I could defeat Shan Pu. It was simple, really, and given how often
plans around my home seemed to work out, I shouldn't have been surprised
that it had happened this way.
After all, if I had the time to learn some new moves, what would have
prevented Shan Pu from doing the same? And since she had been better than
me before my training, well, it was no wonder I was the one laying on the
ground and she was the one about to achieve victory. I wondered what it was
that had driven her so that her skills had still ended up surpassing mine.
I wished I could cry then, but still the tears refused to come. It wasn't
fair. I was on the side of justice. I was in the right. I had to avenge
Ranma's death. I was the good guy. I should have won. I had even gone
beyond my normal abilities and accessed power I had never been able to use
before. And yet it hadn't been enough. Shan Pu had learned more than me.
She had beaten me completely and utterly. Ranma's death would go unavenged,
and his killer was going to get off free.
I tried to rise and failed. I couldn't even get up. It was complete
humiliation. Shan Pu took care of that problem by grabbing me by the back
of my neck and holding me up so that my face was staring directly at hers.
She drew her fist back, looking me straight in the eye even as I had
imagined I would do to her when the end came at last.
"<Why?>" she asked.
"Why what?" Even at the end, I would not give in to her and speak Japanese.
I might have failed, but at least I would die with what pride I had left.
"<Why Akane come all the way here to avenge lying girl-type Ranma?
Girl-type Ranma lie to Akane too. Trick her into becoming fiancee when
Ranma really a girl, not boy.>"
It took me a moment to realize what she was saying. Even after all of that
time, the idiot still hadn't figured out that Ranma had lied to just her. A
soft chuckle escaped my lips.
Shan Pu looked at me in confusion, the poor dear. She must thought I was
going insane or something. "<What so funny?>"
A laughed harder. The look of bewilderment made the pain of failure almost
worthwhile. Well, not really, but it was the only measure of revenge I was
going to get. "You, you idiot. Ranma wasn't really a girl. He was a boy."
"<No,>" Shan Pu said softly. "<Is not true. Ranma say she girl-type, not
boy.>"
"Is true," I mocked.
"<No!> she said more forcefully this time. "<Ranma girl. Ranma say so to
Shampoo. You lie and try to trick Shampoo.>"
"No. The only one that tricked you was Ranma." A trick that had cost him
his life.
"<You lie!>" And much to my amazement, tears started to form in her eyes.
That made no sense. Why was she crying? She had barely known Ranma. She
couldn't have loved him. She had killed him.
"You've heard of Jusenkyou," I was speaking much more softly now, though I
couldn't say why. I was still so very angry. "It was hot water he poured on
himself, not cold."
"LIAR!" Shan Pu drew back her hand then, and though some strength had
returned to me, there was nothing I could do to prevent the blow. I closed
my eyes, waiting for the end to come. Perhaps I would get to see Mother and
Ranma soon.
I was thinking that Shan Pu was taking her time about dispatching me when I
felt the hold on my neck released. I opened my eyes to see Shan Pu
staggering back, as though she had fallen victim to one of my blows. She
gave one last look, full of pain, towards me, then screamed. At first it
sounded like a 'no', then the denial became something more akin to a primal
howl that managed to shake even me to the very core of my being.
Afterwards, Mr. Saotome and Father said it was the exact same cry I had
given when I'd held Ranma's broken body in my arms. It took me a moment to
understand what had happened: Shan Pu finally knew the truth as well.
Shan Pu continued backing away from me as she howled out in agony. She was
about a half dozen meters away before the cry stopped, and she fell limply
to her knees, as though she had been nothing more than a marionette whose
strings had been cut.
I felt strength return to my limbs, enough to raise my damaged and aching
body to its feet. I made my way towards her, hopping more than walking
since I had broken my ankle in my fall from her attack. I stopped in front
of her, waiting for some kind of response.
Shan Pu looked up at me, tears coursing down her face. I couldn't believe
anyone could cry that much. There was no mistaking the pleading look in her
eyes, all but begging me to end her suffering for her. It would be easy.
With her head tilted up, her throat was bared for me. All it would take was
a quick strike to her windpipe and it would all be over. Vengeance would be
delivered at last.
I brought my fist back until it was level with my head. I paused for a
moment to take one last look at Shan Pu. The once proud and vibrant Amazon
had been reduced to nothing more than a pitiful broken creature. Truly a
worthless and pathetic sight.
Exactly like myself.
Do you think we weren't the same? We were in all the ways that mattered.
Shan Pu had been crippled by following her laws. I had been crippled by
taking the path of vengeance. I had forsaken all of the important things
that used to matter to me. My friends, my school, my entire life, all so
that I could travel to a far off land and kill someone who had killed
another close to her because of some moronic laws and a lie.
And I thank god to this day that I understood that before I unleashed my
blow.
Instead of lashing out at her (as perhaps 'justice' demanded), I fell to my
knees and embraced her. As she felt my arms envelope her, she began crying
even harder, a mournful wailing that sounded as though it would never end.
And as the full impact of what I had already done to myself, and what I had
almost done, reached me, and as I understood the true depths of sorrow that
my opponent felt, I at last felt something snap inside of me, something
that had been buried deep within since that night a lifetime ago. It might
not have ever returned had I completed the path of retribution I had taken.
I cried. Oh, how I cried. Three months of tears let loose in a torrent that
matched Shan Pu's sorrow. Drop for Drop. Soul to soul. What a sight the two
of us must have made, not that either one of us cared. We just continued on
and on, joining in our symmetry of pain.
I bet you're thinking that I was foolish. That I should have killed Shan Pu
anyway, since no matter how badly she felt about it, she had killed Ranma.
Perhaps I was, but I've never been able to convince myself of that. Not for
once second. There were many reasons not to do it. Shan Pu, damn her eyes,
had killed based on a lie. Not out of enjoyment or some imagined wrong, but
because the fool had thought it was what she was supposed to do. And Ranma,
poor, sweet, dense, caring Ranma, had decided to take his life into his own
hands that night. He would have accepted the consequences of his actions,
no matter what the outcome would have been. He would never have insisted I
kill anyone because of what he had done. Even in the short time I had been
with him, I knew that wasn't his way. And the most important reason of all,
I didn't kill her for me. I'm not a killer, not in my heart, and had I
struck Shan Pu down in this way, I would never have been able to wash the
blood from my hands. My life, as I had known it, would have ended forever.
Killing her would have changed nothing. Ranma would still have been dead,
and I still would have been just as miserable as before, and with another's
death on my hands as well. No, Shan Pu's death would have served no useful
purpose, not even to fulfill some vague sense of punishment.
Besides, if I had to live with what she had done, she should have had to
live with it too. And through our strange joining, having felt the depths
of her sorrow even through my own... well, let's just say I hope she lives
a long, long life.
Now don't get me wrong. To this day I still curse what happened that night.
I curse the fools that came up with those ridiculous laws concerning
marriage and death. I curse Shan Pu for following those stupid laws instead
of her heart and darkening all of our lives. I curse Ranma for being a
coward and lying to her about what he was instead of telling the truth and
trying to deal with the situation. But most of all, I curse myself for just
standing by and watching instead of putting an end to that ridiculous
farce. We were all to blame in one form or another, to greater and lesser
degrees, and that's the truth, as much as I might wish it were otherwise.
Now I have to live with that knowledge as well.
As we finally began to cry ourselves out, one of the elders, the one with
the gnarled staff, declared the match over and that both of us had won.
There were some cries of protests from the crowd, but those were quickly
silenced by one look from the old woman. I managed to collect enough of
myself to release Shan Pu, who did likewise to me, and got up (though I
still continued crying). I went over to my father and Mr. Saotome,
believing they would reject me in shame. I barely noticed the old woman go
over to Shan Pu and offer her own shoulder for the younger girl to cry on.
Part of me felt bitter about seeing someone so deserving of her pain get
any measure of relief from it, but another part of me felt relieved as
well. I don't know whether I should have been ashamed of that compassion or
not, but with what life has since taught me since that day, I've come to
think that compassion is not something one should ever feel ashamed to
have. Never.
I had thought that Father, or at least Mr. Saotome, would be ashamed of my
actions, for turning away from vengeance, but instead both men smiled at
me. Father said he was proud of me for my restraint, and Mr. Saotome said
that Ranma would have approved because he would never have wanted another's
blood spilled in his name. Not like that. Never like that. Mr. Saotome also
said that, if I was willing, he would continue teaching me the art, since,
in light of my choice that day, I was now fully prepared to travel that
path. I accepted, and haven't regretted it to this day. I might not be as
great as Ranma would have been, but I'm the best I can be, and I take pride
in that.
With the matter of Ranma laid to rest (as laid to rest as it would be, for
a part of him would always be with me), we returned to Japan and I began
putting my life back in order. I hadn't realized how much my friends and
school meant to me until I returned to them. How could I have been so blind
as to forget the important things in life? How could I have come so close
to throwing them all away? It was a near thing, and I still give thanks
each time I wake up in the morning that I avoided making a mistake that
would have tainted my life forever.
I did put my life back together, and it was almost the same as before,
though I had changed within a great deal. I was no longer a little girl I,
but a woman that was more mature then her years, thanks to the events in my
life. I managed to regain my old friends and made new ones as well. I went
on to graduate near the top of my class, and got accepted into a major
university. I easily adapted to there, living through good times and bad,
through happiness and heartbreak, and doing the same even after graduation.
In essence, I lived my life to the fullest, and that was the best thing I
could have done to honor Ranma's memory.
Sometimes I look to the west and wonder how Shan Pu's doing. Part of me
hopes she's still as miserable as when I left her. I might have forgiven
her for what she did, but to this day I still hate her all the same. She
took Ranma from me. What I felt for him hadn't been love, we didn't know
each other long enough for that, but it might very well have turned into
it. I truly think it would have, but now I'll never know. I hate her for
denying both of us that opportunity as well.
That's not to say I'm sorry for the path my life has taken, however. I
don't think either my husband or two children would be pleased about that.
I love them to death and wouldn't change a thing about any of them in the
world. It's not a perfect life, but no one's is. Besides, a perfect life
would be boring, and my husband and children make sure that every day is
anything but boring. I'm proud of the woman, of the mother, I've become,
and I think Ranma would be too.
And it all went back to that day in China, where I learned that sometimes
the things we seek are not things we either truly want or need. And thanks
to that, I've learned how to be happy once again. That is a lesson I will
hold in my heart from now until the end of days.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well, that takes care of that. First straight Ranma fic I've done since
August, by my recollection. I hadn't realized it's been so long since I've
done one. Up next, it looks like a quick revision and rerelease of Roses
and Swords chapter one (since its placement in Quantum Destinies has
finally arrived), followed by the next chapter of Vacation Days. It all
depends on the muse, after all.
And for those that want things spelled out for them, specifically how and
why Shampoo improved her martial arts. When she returned to Joketsuzoku
after Ranma's death, she was grief-stricken with remorse (Small surprise,
that). After a couple of weeks of Shampoo acting as though she were walking
dead, Cologne decided to try to get her over it by increasing her training
to the highest levels she could handle (which would also hopefully improve
her skills to the point where she wouldn't be defeated by an outsider again
and have to go through the whole ordeal once more) Shampoo learned, but as
Akane correctly surmised, remained depressed.