Hello! Me again!
Well this one is the first part of an on going thing I'm calling The Last
Place You'd Look. A continuation, blah blah blah. The normal stuff I've
gotten the impression you guys are long since sick of. I'm planning to set a
few people up during this one.
HOWEVER I plan to pull out every over used plotline in the fan fiction
book while doing it! ::evil chuckle::. Including but not limited to: Too many
amazons, bad accents, passion spice, yet another fiancee, the return of
characters most people who watch the anime have never heard of, and anything
else I can find to poke fun of.
Honestly this one was partially inspired by a lot of the people on the
list. All I've been hearing is 'God that plot is old'. Well if I'm going to
have to use something old (since it ALL seems old) I may as well have fun
doing it! Hope you all enjoy. C&C is welcome.
Oh and before I forget. I'm thinking about putting in a plot to get Shampoo
married to Ranma by Shampoo, Cologne and Mylee. If you decide to C&C then
please let me know if you think that would make the story more enjoyable.
Thanks
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The Last Place You'd Look
Shampoo I Challenge You!: A Mysterious Woman comes to town and challenges
Shampoo
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
It was a quiet, peaceful day at Furinkan High. . . (well as quiet and
peaceful as Nerima gets) . . .
"You pervert! Come back here!!" Happousai sprinted down the street, ignoring
the angry mob of women shouting battle calls behind him.
"What a haul! What a haul!!" He laughed with childish glee. He turned an
alley and skipped onto a rooftop, the mob of women passing him by. Well, it
was just about time for gym class, time to stop by Furinkan for a little
locker room pastime. . .
Happousai grinned as he landed in the school yard of Furinkan.
"Perhaps I'll stop by the lunch room and see what dear Akane is-" Everyone in
the school yard turned at the familiar sound of a wall crumbling accompanied
by the ring-ring of a bicycle bell.
No one noticed the twitching old man beneath the wheels.
Akane Tendo turned from her conversation, her eyes narrowing as they met
those of a purple-haired amazon. Dark clouds began to gather over the school
and thunder rumbled loudly.
"Hmm...looks like rain." Nabiki commented, glancing up from her ledgers.
"Hey Shampoo, what are you doing here?" Daisuke asked, braking the exchange.
Both girls looked away as if the other weren't even there.
"Shampoo bring Ranma too too delicious ramen for lunch." She flounced (a
remarkable feat when seated on a bike) and looked around for the
aforementioned pig-trailed martial artist.
"Theres a thought, where is Ranma?" Hiroshi asked. Daisuke shrugged.
"I haven't seen him since right before first class." Daisuke said.
"People people, where have you been all day? Mousse challenged Ranma this
morning. I've been swamped with bets." Nabiki strolled up, glancing at a
fuming Shampoo.
"How fast did he go down this time Nabiki?" Hiroshi asked.
"Last update Mousse was still standing."
"Wow he must be improving." Daisuke said. Nabiki just smiled in an
oh-so-secretive way and continued walking.
"Stupid Mousse! If he no challenge Ranma then Shampoo be on date by now."
Shampoo raged. Akane didn't get the chance to respond, or even ignore the
comment. There was a collective gasp from behind them and everyone turned.
A female form in a yellow and green embroidered robe was perched on the
fence, a hood covering her face from view. She crouched low, and then sprang
into the air, her robe billowing out to block the sun as the group followed
her progress up.
She landed right in between Shampoo's bike and Akane, standing slowly to face
Shampoo, her eyes eerily covered by shadow.
"Wow reminds me of that martial arts movie I saw last week."
"Yeah gives ya a real sense of impending doom huh?"
"Who do you think it is this time??" Voices whispered.
"Another fiancee maybe?"
"Could be, that would make the count what? Four now?"
"Seven, including the disposed of ones and the boys." Nabiki corrected in,
watching the new variable with intense interest.
"Oh.. . .Wait a minute, BOYS?!"
Suddenly the figure threw off the robe in one graceful motion. There stood a
beautiful young woman in yellow and green Chinese embroidered silk. Her hair,
long and black, was swept up and held in a partial bun by a butterfly pin.
There was a fierce look in her jade eyes. She snapped open a fan with a green
dragon on it with a dramatic sweep.
"Shampoo! I Mylee! Great warrior of Jaylong Amazons! I come to challenge
you!" She shouted, her voice delicate but firm. Shampoo's expression hardened
and she jumped from her bike, landing in a battle position, her bonburi
suddenly present.
"We fight then!"
Mylee snapped open her fan again, blades popping from the spines and screamed
a terrifying battle cry. The two women charged towards each other, and just
as they would have met-
Ranma and Mousse crashed down between them.
Both women stumbled back, waiting for the dust to clear as the two men faced
each other. Ranma stood over Mousse, watching him cradle his arm.
"C'mon Mousse, we've been at this for hours, give up already." Ranma said
with a fed up sigh. Mousse flinched as he stood, still protecting his left
arm. He squinted at Ranma, his glasses pushed up onto his head
"Never!" He yelled, raising his right arm. Out shot a small globe, about the
size of a baseball. Ranma caught it easily, frowning at it. Was this all
Mousse had left? Had he finally exhausted his never ending supply of weapons?
"Come on Shampoo, lets get out of here!" Mousse yelled in his squeaky voice.
He grabbed hold of a stunned Mylee, picking her up in his arms and running.
'Sssssssssssssss. . . " Ranma frowned, holding the ball up to his ear. He
blinked. It sounded like a. .
"Ranma run! It's a-" Akane's voice called from behind him, cut of by the loud
(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!)
* * *
"I've finally beaten him." Mousse whispered, stunned. He looked over his
shoulder at the blast site, seeing no sign of Ranma. (Not that he could have
without his glasses on)
"Did you hear that?! I've finally beaten him Sham-"
"Ni Hao," A smooth, sexy voice whispered in his ear. Mousse blinked,
squinting at the woman in his arms. She curled her own arms around his neck,
cuddling closer to him.
Everyone stared, amazed, as Mylee transformed from a hardened warrior into a
cute amazon. . .who was looking starry eyed at Mousse!?
"Your not Sham-"
"Stupid Mousse!! Shampoo over here!" Shampoo kicked him, then rested her foot
on Mousse's head as he cradled Mylee in his arms. "Put glasses on!"
Mousse slipped his glasses off his head and blinked as he came face to face
with the beautiful Amazon in his arms. She looked up at him through her black
bangs, her long black hair falling gracefully over her shoulders and down her
back in a sexy slide.
"You save Mylee's life. . . Shei shie." Thank you, she whispered, still
holding on to him as he dropped her in surprise.
"Umm. . ."Mousse tried to back away, but Mylee had glomped onto his neck and
stayed with him as he moved, even managing to press closer.
"Get off Mousse!! We fight now!" Shampoo ordered, stomping her foot as she
watched the exchange.
The student body took all this in as they did the usually daily soap opera.
They gossiped.
"Geeze you'd think she was almost. . ."
"Jealous?"
"Yeah. And over Mousse too."
"Shampoo is no jealous!!" Shampoo shouted as she turned on the crowd of
onlookers. They all took a step back, together.
"We fight later Shampoo." Mylee said, dismissing the other girl as she drew
lazy circles on a panicked Mousse's chest.
"No, we fight now!" Shampoo repeated, taking a battle stance. Mylee just
ignored her again. While Mousse looked as if he might pass out.
"Shai shen. . .Mousse." She whispered with a devastating smile that the male
student body would never forget (especially since it was targeted at Mousse).
She then turned and disappeared the way she had come.
"Darn martial artists, taking all the women. . ."
* * *
"Did I miss something? Who was that?" Ranma asked, letting go of Akane as
they reached the school grounds.
"I could have taken care of myself you know!" Akane told him for the
hundredth time since he had picked her up. Stupid tomboy, getting so close to
that bomb. . .
"Yeah yeah, don't make such a big deal out of it. It's not like I wanted to
hold ya or nothin'." Ranma told her, watching the retreating figure of Mylee
with interest.
* * *
"Let me get this straight. Theres a new girl in Nerima." Daisuke said.
Hiroshi nodded.
"Right."
"And she's not out to kill Ranma?" Daisuke asked. Hiroshi shook his head.
"Nope."
"And she's not here to marry Ranma??" Again Hiroshi shook his head.
"Nope."
'Wow! Ranma must be loosing his edge! I wonder if that means the rest of us
will have a chance now?"
That was the first thing Ranma Saotome heard after school when he entered the
Cat Cafe. Ranma froze. Loosing his edge with women?! It couldn't be possible.
. .could it?
"Aya! Ranma!" Shampoo glomped onto Ranma, not noticing the worried frown on
his face.
"Ranma come have special yes? Is very good! Great Grandmother make!" Ranma
just nodded his head, sitting down as Shampoo disappeared into the kitchen.
Nah it couldn't be. After all, the Mylee everyone was talking about had just
gotten here. They hadn't met yet that was all. Ranma sighed, relieved and
started to eat the ramen Shampoo slipped before him.
"AYA! Mousse!!!" There was a loud crash and Ranma turned, ready for battle,
only to find a beautiful woman embracing. . .Mousse? You've got to be kidding
me Ranma thought. Anyone else I could understand, but the duck?!
Ranma took a moment to observe the strange scene. No wonder Akane gets so mad
when Shampoo does that, he thought, watching the amazon nuzzle Mousse.
"Mylee miss Mousse so much! She look everywhere for Mousse but no find! What
you doing here in Shampoo place?" She asked, smiling up at him with eyes full
of love.
"Hey there, I'm Ranma Saotome." Ranma flashed her a boyish grin. Mylee just
looked at him for a moment. Then returned to nuzzling Mousse.
"Nice to meet. Go away now, Mylee with Mousse. Been very very long time
apart." Ranma almost face falted. Go away? Was she joking? He was. . .well. .
.he was Ranma Saotome and everybody loved Ranma. . .
"Mylee get off Mousse now! He have work to do." Ranma turned, taking a step
back as he saw the black aura crackling around Shampoo as she watched Mylee
and Mousse.
"No." Mylee said simply. Shampoo's aura flared, and then died down as she
shot them one last glare, latching on to Ranma.
"Fine. Shampoo no care what stupid duck boy do. Shampoo and Ranma go on date
now." She started dragging him out of the cat cafe, ignoring his protests.
What was going on here? A beautiful woman was in love with Mousse and Shampoo
was jealous!?
"HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD??!!" Ranma screamed as they left the Cat Cafe. . .
* * *
"Shampoo! Wait! I-"
"Mousse forget about Shampoo now, she go off with boy, now we be alone."
Mylee told him, dragging him to the back room.
"But-But-But. . ."
"Mylee love you Mousse." Mylee whispered as the door closed, hugging Mousse
again. "Have loved Mousse since you save Mylee from bomb. "She pressed
closer, trying to express what she was feeling in the strange language she
had only just learned.
"Mylee has never seen man so heroic." She confessed, looking up at him with
eyes full of adoring love. She then continued nuzzling his chest.
"But it is Shampoo that I love!" Mousse finally managed to squeak out. Mylee
stilled, then pulled back to look into his eyes.
"Oh. . ."Mylee was silent for a moment, looking at the floor. Mousse's
shoulders slumped. Was she . . .crying?
"But Mylee thought Shampoo engaged to weak girl-boy. Was in all papers back
home." (GRETUIDIS RANMA REFERENCE!)
"For now he has her, but one day Shampoo will be my bride!" Mousse vowed, his
eyes determined.
"Oh. . ."
"I-I'd better go now, theres no telling what that dog Saotome might have done
to my dear Shampoo!" Mousse turned and left, feeling it was better to give
Mylee some privacy if she was going to cry.
Mylee wasn't crying though, she was biting her lip. . .thinking. She only
moved when a small figure with a staff stepped from the shadows.
"Excuse me young one, but I couldn't help overhearing your little trouble. .
."
* * *
"Aya!! Shampoo marry Ranma and Mylee get Mousse?!" Mylee squealed, bouncing
up and down with a new light in her eyes.
"Yes, aren't you a lucky girl." Cologne commented, watching Mylee.
The younger woman’s eyes narrowed. She understood that Mousse had this. .
.this crush on her rival, but it was not meant to be. She had studied her
enemy, and if it was one thing she had learned it was that Shampoo was
selfish and spoiled. Shampoo would never appreciate Mousse the way she could.
She would never see him for the kind and brave man he was. She had to save
him from a fate worse than death. . .marriage to Shampoo.
Her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits and her smile took on a curve Kodachi
would have been proud of.
"Then Mylee help Shampoo get Ranma."
* * *
"Stupid Mousse ruin everything!" Shampoo pouted, letting the glass door smack
Mousse in the face as he tried to fallow her into the Cat Café. "If Mousse no
distract Shampoo then she no loose Ranma! Shampoo be on date with Airen now
if not for-"
"Great-granddaughter, I have news." Cologne interrupted as she wandered out
of the kitchen. Mousse entered the Cat Café, his glasses on his head as he
rubbed his nose.
Wonderful, not only was Shampoo displeased with him again, but the old monkey
had come up with yet another plan to help capture her son in law. Mousse
cleaned his glasses and put them back on, ready to do whatever he could to
stop their scheming.
"Great-granddaughter. I would like to introduce you to our new delivery
girl." All noise in the Cat Café stopped as Mylee stepped out from the
kitchen, a cute smile all over her face.
* * *
Ranma-chan looked up in mid-rant at Akane, a frown on her face.
"Did you just hear something?" She asked, ringing the water out of her
pig-tail and walking from the koi pond.
Akane frowned, forgetting for the moment the mallet in her hand.
"Thats strange, it sounded like a scream."
* * *
Shampoo fumed, absently smacking Mousse away as he ran towards her in
concern. Mylee started towards him, but Cologne made a motion with her staff
and the girl reluctantly stopped where she was.
"No!! Shampoo no want stupid fan girl work here!" The purple haired amazon
stomped her foot, but Cologne did not bend.
"Come great-granddaughter. I will explain all." Cologne ushered Shampoo into
the back room, and as the two disappeared customers warily crawled out from
under their tables. Mylee ran to an unconscious Mousse, cradling his head in
her lap.
"Oh poor Mousse." She cooed as he opened his eyes. Mousse blinked, looking up
into the face of the woman cradling him in her arms. And for once he
recognized that this could not be his darling Shampoo.
"Ack!!" Mousse jumped away, nearly landing on a group of customers. They
waited for him to get off the table, then continued eating.
"Shampoo no hurt Mousse?" Mylee asked softly, standing and slowly making her
way towards him. How cute he was, that hair, those glasses. . .
"N-no of course not! My darling Shampoo would never hurt me. . .too badly."
Mousse backed away, customers deftly moving out of range. Mylee smiled. How
kind he was to her rival. So gentle. He would make the perfect husband. Mylee
sighed, and was just about to glomp a cornered Mousse when Shampoo and
Cologne returned.
Mylee turned to face Shampoo, her arms crossed. If Shampoo wanted a fight
then Mylee would be more than happy to get rid of her rival the easy way.
Obstacles were for killing, even if they were amazon in nature. The two
glared at each other.
"Shampoo let you work at Cat Café and let you live in spare room." She
informed Mylee hautily.
"But you slow on job and Shampoo kick you out herself." Mylee grinned as
Shampoo stomped off to her room.
And promptly glomped Mousse.
* * *
"Ranma no baka!!"
Ranma screamed as a mallet skimmed the back of his ankles.
"Akane your overreacting! " He called to the girl chasing behind him with a
mallet almost bigger than she was. The mallet slammed down again, almost
hitting him this time. She must have been training with that thing again
Ranma thought.
"I’ll show YOU overreacting! You-YOU CASANOVA!"
"It wasn’t a date I tell ya Akane!"
"Ranma NO BAKA!!"
(*CRASH*BOOM*CRASH*CRASH*)
Ranma groaned, not even realizing yet that he was air born. He had run a race
with the mallet of doom. . .and lost.
* * *
"Teriyaki ramen very good today. Mylee bring right out. "Mylee smiled at the
customer, glancing back at Mousse, bussing tables before she started towards
the kitchen. She repeated the order to Cologne and then returned to watching
Mousse.
How suddenly he had found his way into her heart. She had heard of it
happening before, when an amazon was beaten it was only right that she fall
in love with her new husband. It was every girl’s dream to find a man who
would beat her in combat. . .
But Mousse had not beaten her, he had saved her when they had first met. A
circumstance that fit his loving nature. And when she had looked into his
eyes . . .
Still, there were problems standing in her way. She had no prior claim on him
for one. His constant professing of love for her rival was another.
The most important was how the elders of her village would react. The
Joketsuzoku and Jaylong villages had always had a small rivalry going. Each
village was proud of it’s own bloodlines and loved to pit their best warriors
against each other.
Since Mousse was a man of the Joketsuzoku amazons and a former pursuer of
Shampoo. . .it would make a welcome of the match less then likely. She did
not even want to think of how her teacher might react. . .
Mylee sighed, picking up the ramen and carrying it back to the table.
He might not be the strongest of men, but it was hard to find a man that
could beat you after you reached the level Mylee had. Shampoo was lucky she
had not trained outside of the Amazon ways as Mylee had. She had found a man
to best her, but in all her traveling, Mylee had yet to find hers.
Much to the disappointment of her teacher. He would be furious when he found
out Mousse had not beaten her. If only she could find a way to marry Mousse
before her master followed her here from China. . .
Mylee shook her head to clear it, setting down the ramen in front of the
customer. It did not matter any longer if a man bested her in battle. Mousse
was a kind man, and he would be a good and obedient husband.
Mylee watched Mousse bus the tables, the sun streaming through the window
shown off his glasses and she smiled. . . No, that battle was not important.
Mylee glanced back at Shampoo, cooking ramen in the kitchen. A dark shadow
fell over her, only a strip of light illuminating her eyes. A few confused
customers looked around for the source of the sudden shadow. . .
But this battle was.
* * *
Ranma Saotome’s eyes narrowed as he looked out over Nerima from his perch on
the Tendo Dojo roof. This couldn’t be happening to him. . .
Ranma must be loosing his edge . . .
Ranma growled, and shot to his feet. NO! He was not loosing his edge! He
would prove it to them all!
And with that Ranma Saotome set out for the Cat Café, determination in his
blue eyes.
* * *
Mylee smiled, humming as she walked along the brick wall lining the back of
the buildings in this area. She and Shampoo had been busy all day making
deliveries all over Nerima. It was a Saturday and no one was in the mood to
cook tonight. It was a great day for business.
But that wasn’t the reason she was so happy at the moment.
She was almost dizzy with happiness, because Shampoo’s current delivery was
ALLLLLLLL the way across town.
So when Ranma Saotome dropped down from a right in front of her she only
paused for a moment, then smiled sweetly and jumped over him and continued on
her way, her pleasant mood still in tack. She didn’t however, notice the
black cloud hanging over Ranma Saotome’s head.
* * *
Ranma scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets. He had never been so
thoroughly ignored by a woman. Well. . .not since coming to live in Nerima.
It was starting to nag at him, despite several attempts he hadn’t been able
to get Mylee to do more than glance at him.
It was starting to bug him. . . Not like he needed another girl chacin’ him
or nothin’, it was just. . .
'Wow! Ranma must be loosing his edge!. . .
Loosing his edge. . .
Ranma screamed in frustration. WHY WOULDN’T SHE LOOK AT HIM?! It just wasn’t
normal! This was Nerima! He was Ranma Saotome! Women-
Ranma stopped in his tracks. . .
Could it be?. . .Could Mylee be like. . . Tsubasa? A memory of a bubbly, and
well. . .bouncy Mylee flashed in his mind.
Nah couldn’t be that. . .but then. . .why? Why didn’t she like him? Why- . .
.Why-
"WHY THE DUCK??!"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next up: Back and Bad! Pantyhose Tarou Returns!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Luck and Love,
Lady Cailin
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I haven't failed. I have successfully discovered 12,000 ideas that don't work.
--- Thomas Edison
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
--- James Dean