A Brief Bit Of Insanity
Miko / M A Davis
Sort of original, sort of AMG, sort of other stuff
A strange anime romp, in a growing number of short acts.
I swear, this is the last time I ever promise to put out a new
section of story every day until I'm done. What an idiotic idea
that was. =P
I hope to have Muyami Academy 9 posted in a few days, but I
need to revise it and the two previous chapters first.
Act VII: Put Your Abilities to Use
In the bugrom throne room, Katsuhito Jinnai sprawled on
his throne, snoring. Jordan's cell phone lay in his lap. Queen
Diva smiled on him fondly, then stood, looked over at one of
the guards, and gestured to the stack of scrolls on the dais.
"Pick these up, and come with me," she commanded. The
guard warbled back and carefully gathered up the scrolls, then
followed its master out of the room.
This left one guard, and the sleeping Jinnai. For several
moments the room was completely still, then three small
goddesses floated across it and up to Jinnai's throne. The lone
guard that remained, stationed on the far side of the room, did
not move a chitinous appendage.
Hovering over the sleeping madman, Belldandy carefully
lifted the cell phone free. She floated to the ground in front of
the throne.
"Did you see the keys?" Keiichi whispered. Belldandy
shook her head.
Keiichi and Urd searched the throne and dais, and Jinnai's
sleeping form. A few minutes later they gathered again in front
of the throne.
"Can't find them," Keiichi said. "What are we going to
do?"
"Well," Belldandy said, "we only assumed that he has
them. Maybe he doesn't after all."
"Then where could they be?"
"They could be in one of his pockets," Urd said.
"But if we look we might wake him," Keiichi added.
"Well," Belldandy said, "we may not need them. We can
always let one of the others call Clotho again."
Keiichi raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that abusing the goddess
relief system?" she asked. "We probably shouldn't be doing
that. Let's look for the keys some more."
Urd laughed. "Keiichi," she said, "the more abusive your
friends are with the helpline, the faster someone notices and the
faster we get you back to normal."
Keiichi blinked.
"Forget the keys," she said. "Let's get back to the jail
cell."
***
Five minutes later, the three miniature figures phased
through the dungeon door and landed just outside the jail cell.
Inside the cell, Jordan, Marika, Kit, and Shawn stirred. The
latter's movement knocked a stack of empty Dr. Pepper cans
over, scattering them across the floor.
"Urd!" Shawn exclaimed.
"In the flesh!" the dark-skinned, white-haired goddess
replied. She bowed. "How did you know my name?"
"Everyone knows your name," Jordan said. "Urd, older
sister of Belldandy and Skuld, goddess of the past, designer of
pills and potions that never quite work as advertised...."
"No way! Kit said. "It's mini-Belldandy, mini-Keiichi,
and now mini-Urd! When's Nezumi-san showing up?"
"Mr. Rat?" Keiichi repeated. "Nani?"
Urd narrowed her eyes. "You people know a lot about
me, considering we've just met," she said darkly.
"Of course they do," Belldandy said. "I should have told
you, Urd. They're from an anime-manga dimension."
Urd raised an eyebrow. "Really? A world where we're
just stories?" Keiichi looked from Belldandy to Urd in
growing confusion. For her part, Urd glanced at the four
Americans, and added, "A world, in other words, of drooling
fanboys?"
"That's me!" Shawn said proudly. "Guilty as charged!"
"Lovely," Urd said, placing her hand to her temple. "And
I suppose you have pictures of me stored on your computer
hard drive, then?"
Shawn nodded.
"In the buff?"
"Er... yeah, actually."
"How many?"
"Ah," Shawn said, "that is, I'm not exactly certain...."
Urd rolled her eyes, then laughed. "More than my sisters,
I hope," she said.
"Ah... yeah."
"They you have good tastes, at least."
"Can we please escape now, and discuss who has naked
pictures of whom later?" Marika asked. "Where are the keys?"
"We don't actually know," Belldandy said. "We couldn't
find them. But we brought back Jordan's cell phone...."
"Give me that!" Jordan said. He snatched up the phone
and began dialing.
"This, again?" Shawn asked.
Jordan listened to the phone a moment, nodded, and hung
up. White mist began pouring from the mirror outside of the
cell.
"How often are we going to do this, anyway?" Marika
muttered.
"Until we get everything fixed, I guess," Shawn said.
"More likely we'll get things so screwed up that they'll never
straighten it all out...."
Clotho formed from the mist and bowed. "I'm the
goddess Clotho, and I... what? You people again?"
"I'm afraid so," Marika said.
"This is most unusual," Clotho said, "one mortal getting
two wishes. Well anyway, make it quick, I've got a busy
schedule to keep." She glanced to the side and added, "Hello
there, Urd. I guess I should have expected you to show up
sooner or later."
"Hey, Clotho," Urd said. "Running a tight ship as usual I
see."
A look of momentary confusion passed over Clotho's face,
but she dismissed it and turned back to her victim. "Okay, out
with it," she said. "What's your heart's desire? And make it
snappy!"
"I wish that all of our previous wishes were reversed!"
Jordan blurted out.
"I can't do that," Clotho replied. "No wish may counteract
a previous wish."
"Well, that's just it," Jordan said. "I didn't make a wish the
last time."
"Yes you did," Clotho replied. "I heard it very clearly.
Now quit stalling. You've got sixty seconds to make your
wish, then I'm out of here."
"Clotho," Belldandy said, "perhaps you should be more
careful in granting your wishes...."
"I don't have the time!" Clotho snapped. "If you and your
sisters didn't spend so much time down in the mortal realms,
maybe we wouldn't be so far behind!"
"Look, you twisted my words around," Jordan said. "I
wasn't ready to make a wish yet. I was just saying "what if". I
mean, you can't just grant wishes indiscriminately based on
offhand comments. You have to make sure the person really
wants what you think they want. Their heart's desire, right?"
"Forty seconds," Clotho said.
"You can't seriously think it was my heart's desire to have
Keiichi turned into a girl."
"Jordan," Shawn said, "don't be an idiot. Just wish us
back to Earth, now!"
"No way!" Kit said. "We haven't seen the Priestesses yet!
Just wish for the keys! That's all we need!"
Ignoring his friends, Jordan continued his argument. "I
mean, if I were to w... to ask for a curse like Ranma's, or that
Madoka from Kimagure Orange Road was my girlfriend?"
"Dude, that's the one you want. Wish for your own
Madoka."
"Hey!" Keiichi said, "he's already got me!"
Everyone looked at Keiichi. Belldandy's eyes went wide.
"I mean, not that I'm thrilled with the idea," Keiichi
stammered, turning red in the face. "It's just that ... it was a
wish that tied me to Jordan. You can't break the bond like that.
I should know. I mean, even with me like this, Belldandy is
still tied to me because of my own wish...."
Belldandy nodded. "That's true," she said, "since one
wish can't undo another."
"My point is," Jordan said, not about to be deterred, "you
granted my last wish too carelessly, so therefore it should be
invalidated."
"Sorry," Clotho said. "Ten seconds."
"You brainless bimbo!" Jordan yelled, throwing his hands
up. "You can't just turn Keiichi into a girl because of some
stupid offhand comment! What if I'd asked for godlike power?
You'd just hand that to me, no questions asked? What if I
asked to be Superman? For that matter, what if I wished to be
Pretty Sammy? Without a second thought, you'd just turn me
into...."
Clotho turned her face upwards, and a beam of light
stabbed the ceiling of the darkening room.
"No! Wait!" Jordan held up his hands, a look of horror
on his face. "You can't! That isn't what I...."
Jordan paused. He -- or rather, she -- was instantly two
feet shorter, with aqua-blue pigtails that defied gravity. She
wore a sailor-style fuku in blue and white, with a rather short
skirt.
"Your wish has been granted," the goddess said. "Now, if
you don't mind, I've very busy...." She sank into the tiny
mirror and was gone.
*To be continued*
Miko!
Ranma sighed. Her whole life she'd planned on becoming a martial arts
Sensei. It had seemed like such a noble calling. She just hadn't
realized how much it resembled babysitting.
"It's a joke," Ranma said, sitting up. "All I meant was, what hit me?"
"Um... I did, Sensei."
Ah, thought Ranma. It begins to make some sense...
"Hmm? Nice try, Tamakaji, but we both know you can't lay a finger on me.
I may not remember what happened, but for you to get through my
defenses...."
"But I did, Sensei. You were distracted."
"A martial artist is never distracted, Tamakaji. Remember that."
"As you say, Sensei."
"Good. Next question. Why am I a girl?"
"Your niece threw water on you," the student said.
"Ah. This would be just before you didn't hit me when I wasn't
distracted?"
"Hai!"
Ranma put her hand to her head. "It's all coming back to me now. We were
all celebrating the opening of the new dojo, and the dormitory on the
third floor. All my family was here -- mom, pop, Kasumi and Tofu-Sensei,
even Nabiki. We were giving a short demonstration in the dojo, after
showing off your award for first-place in the all-Tokyo competition..."
Ranma stopped, glancing up at her student. "I didn't just dream that
part, did I? You really won, didn't you?"
"Hai, Sensei! Just last Saturday!" Kazayuki produced the blue ribbon and
beamed with pride. "You said I was the luckiest S.O.B. you ever saw!"
(Seven Fianc�es)
Nausicaa@sprynet.com Belldandy@angelic.com
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