On Wed, 29 Dec 1999, DangBat wrote:
When Kasumi says she wants a vacation in Tokyo, Nerima is
a district of Tokyo, so you might want to change the city, since that's
not really such a big deal, to go to Tokyo for them.
Kasumi, Mariko's best friend? Since we never see Mariko in the
series/manga, you might want to come up with a side story explaining how
they became friends and kept in touch. You mention that Kasumi wrote her
letters, but the conclusions that Mariko comes to do not seem like the
kind of stuff that Kasumi would write (specially Akane's personality).
Plus, she seems to know a LOT about the current events, and apparently
knows Akane quite well. That just begs the question: How?
I don't believe this Mariko to be the same one as the Cheerleading Mariko.
After all, one of Kasumi's highschool friends could very well have been
named Mariko. She might have come over a few times and Kasumi could very
well still talking to her on a fairly regular basis.
Phuc Tram
Master Pivot - Wielder of the Coherent Light Bokken
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