Subject: [FFML] Re: [ffml][ff][ranma]Shantyworld Chapter 3: The Party
From: David Johnston
Date: 12/11/1999, 9:43 AM
To: William Morse
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

as he sauntered towards them. Ranko dropped her parcels and assumed a
defensive stance. Several of the men drew rifles from out of their 
robes.

Drew...rifles?  You ever try to walk around with that size weapon 
underneath your coat?  There's a reason why stick-up artists prefer
pistols and sawed-offs, you know.  

all," he said grinning like a hungry carnivore. "We don�t want a fight 
here,

I'd suggest, "with a carnivorous grin"

"There is no evidence that the Governors have anything smaller then 
Peace
Robots to maintain order," Akane said slowly, succinctly and loud 
enough for
the entire neighborhood too hear her. "Oh and Ranko?"

"to hear her"

Interesting, the merchant on the top of her list had been fighting 
ongoing
rumors of pedophilia. It was so convenient that she had so much 
information

If they're a slave society, what's the big deal?  

remarkably active for this hour. As people desperately tried to make up 
for
the time that they had lost avoiding the Star's piercing brightness. 
The

Sentence fragment.  

"There, your sense of humor is returning already, "you'll have a 
wonderful
time, I can tell. Just enjoy yourself and bask in the admiration."

You left something out there.  

"What ordeal are you talking about Lord Kunou?" Akane asked. She 
wondered
how Kunou knew about the fight in the alleyway.

What, was that an attempt to steal Ranko?

"But, Mistress he."

Doesn't make sense.  

Kasumi laughed, "don't worry, Ranko. Nothing is going to happen." She
pointed towards the vestibule to prove her point.

Kasumi laughed.  "Don't worry

Kasumi smiled "Kyouko, In case Lord Kunou asks I regrettably seem to be
booked solid for the next few months. Give him the usual story, he 
always
seems to except it."

"accept it"

This one excepts the female human's gratitude, Kak! As it is intended, 
Kak!

"accepts"

She had just finished talking with the last couple. When she saw one of 
the
flagged people on Nabiki's list. One of the people who she had 
privately
hoped would not show up.

Sentence fragments.  

Kunou had always found the younger man arrogant, egotistical and more 
then a
little vein. Mendou, Kunou had said to himself more then once, was 
nothing

Do not trust the spellchecker.  The spellchecker is not your friend.
"vain"

Mendou nodded, "the pleasure is all mine Tatiwaki," he replied.

Mendou nodded.  "The pleasure is all mine Tatewaki," he replied.

"It helps too know who ones friends are, young lords," Soun Tendou said 
with
a smile.

"to"

"Well, look who's here.  Miki-chan, it's been so long." Mikado 
Sanzenin,
only son of the Mayor Sanzenin turned to see Nabiki standing beside 
him. She
did look absolutely stunning in the tight golden feathered dress she 
was
wearing. 

Redundant.  

The song that had just started was titled "Boyfriend" Kasumi hoped that 
was
not someone's idea of a joke if it was she did not find it funny. 

joke.  If it was, she did not find it funny.

The freetrader smiled sweetly. "Yes, Skuld-chan, the Benpai is a 
wonderful
ship but unfortunately it can only hold ten tons of cargo. With a 
capacity
that small we can't be choosy."

On the contrary.  With a capacity that small, they _must_ be choosy.
They'll want low bulk, high markup cargo.  Luxuries and high technology 
for the most part.  

"This is ridiculous! If I don�t finish Master Tendous report by 
tomorrow
he'll have my hide." Godai stammered.

"Tendou's"

times. Lum had also taught her that the Gentle Orchid where anything 
but.
She decided to listen at a distance.

Do not let the spell-checker substitute for actually proof-reading your 
work.  "were"

"I'm a good girl Sempai." Akane did not like where this was going.

No, she's a good girl, Sempai.

Ranko said nothing. For some reason she could not understand she had 
been
utterly obsessed her hands and stared at them whenever she thought no 
one

Missing word.




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