Subject: [FFML] Re: [c&c][sm]eclipse of the moon 5&6
From: Miashara
Date: 12/11/1999, 7:06 AM
To: Pinoyeva00@aol.com
CC: ffml@fanfic.com

Sorry this couldn't get to you sooner. I'm pretty busy
most of the time.

It's ok. My monitor caught fire. Thats why I couldn't reply earlier
myself.

The annyoing fact is that isn't an excuse. The damn thing just started
burning.

: As a result, all five of the sailor
: suited heroines were freezing their...were very cold.
Awww, no nipple joke?

I do have some taste. Not much, but some.

: Luna and Artemis, always there for the councils, had
: arrived and the discussion was running fast and
: furious.
Well, the Senshi were, I'm not sure the discussion was.
Try instead:

"Ohmygodthere'sabigfatmeanthingytryingtokillusoutthere
andheyVenusIcanseeyournipples!" Usagi said. Of course,
they had all accustomed themselves to the rather
excitable princess, and could easily understand her.
Venus blushed. Cold was bad. Yep, and staring, Artemis
was.
   Time to kick some cat butt.

But appearently you don't.
I wish I had thought of that.


: Topaz, ever willing to move which ever way the wind,
: opened his mouth
forgot 'blew' or, perhaps 'broke'

Why is it that my really good C&C comes from wise asses?

: Perhaps the most unusual thing was that in the twenty
: minutes of active battle, neither one had reloaded
: once.
active battle? ...cut back on the ff...

I haven't played FF in minutes I'll have you know!


: And Ami returned to eating herself.
^_-  I don't think I should mention what I was thinking
the second time I saw this...(or the first)...

Ok. Dative case. Not accusative. Ya sickos

: There was a single light hanging from the ceiling,
: lacking any setting or ornamentation. It swung
: slightly, back and forth, on the cable which
: hung from the ceiling.
For the first sentence, I think you may want to put the
second clause in the description that talks about the
room itself, and not the light. For the second, 'hung
from the ceiling' is sort of repetitive considering you
mentioned that detail in the previous sentence.

Point.



: He checked clock on the wall.
Minako no need time, or definite article!

Minako special like that!


: I can't tell you how honored I am this our school got
: chosen for this quick story."
Well, I would say there's something wrong with the
sentence, but he is a *principal* after all. :-)

See Ranma 1/2, Principal Kuno for scholastic infallibility.


: The footage was broadcaster that night on the Eleven
: O'clock News. Almost one third of the national watched
: it.
'broadcasted' 'national (world?)'
And, 1/3? Isn't it in Japanese? And about a local high
school...? Why would...
Oh wait. Its about Ami. nevermind.

It's a puff story on the major news channel. Considering how many people
watch the nightly news, 1/3 isn't that unlikely. And like you said, it's
Ami.

: Cyanide looked up from his weapon cleaning.
Oh my.  ^_-

You need a hobby, you know that? You really do.

:
: I was not the man on the grassy knole.
: I did not kidnap the Linberg baby.
: I am not really here. This message does not really
: exist. You are having
: a drug induced hallucination. What would your mother
: say if she knew
: this? Tsk tsk tsk. Go to Rehab you fool.
Yes, hallucin...Must, grassy knoll...baby...no, eat
baby, yuummmiieeee baby....

Case in point.

: She say she had a message.
I say she no have no message, or no right tense.

I say she do!

: She didn't know why, but she abruptly knew what
: he was asking for Ami Mizuno about.
Well, its not too 'hard'. After all; he's a got a big,
shiny, piece of metal in his hand, and he's ready to
'blow' Ami's brains out. I'm sure, if one grasped the
situation enough, one would come away quite quickly with
a titillating idea.
  ^_-

Hmm. I think he's trying to tell me something. I can't tell what though?
Hmmm.


: Upon hearing the shot behind her, threw herself to the
: floor
That would be Ami, right?

Nope. Miss Japan. She was picking her kids up from school.

: "Fuck me in the goat ass!"
Cyanide's Scottish?

Just swears like one. Sometimes.

: Cyanide tuned the rest of the transformation phrases.
For SailorMoon phrases, 24-7, tune in to
http://www.SailorMoon247/trnsfrmphrse.htm! We have your
selection of:"Mooooooooooon Crystaaaaaaaaaal
Maaaaaaaaaaaaake Up!"or even, "Venus Crystal Power, Make
up!"in the original Japanese. The only thing you can't
get is Sailor Saturn's, despite her being one of the
coolest Senshi in the entire series! *sob*

(The address is FAKE if you're actually typing it in...)

Oh. Damn.


: "Great. I'm getting a porn show from a bunch of
: thirteen year olds in the back of my van."
Fourteen, but actually, I guess he wouldn't know. But
shouldn't Cyanide have some basic info about them?

Sarcasm on behalf of our dear friend the gun man.

And,
isn't he supposed to be swerving cars instead of looking
back there?

As someone else commented, think of all that light going into one
rearveiw mirror.

-Yeah, its bad, so whatcha gonna do about it?-

I'll take Laugh My Head of for 600 Alex.

: Can I at least get a "I no longer think you should be
: burned alive for having written this piece of trash"
: or so? Please?
No.

Damn.

I'll shut up now...

Just don't do it perminantly. Thanks a lot.

Miashara



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