DISCLAIMER: I deny it! I deny it! I wasn't even there! It
was my evil twin Skippy! I had nothing to do with it!
(Actually, I did it, but I'll never admit it - never never
never!!)
-----------------
Ranma 1/2: A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - pt. 11
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
----------------
<Dammit!> the Creature fumed.
It remembered watching the little shrivelled Amazon use that
whirlwind attack before against the Warden in his form. Not
to mention that the other man-thing made it worse.
And it had let itself be distracted long enough for it to be
used! It had barely recovered soon enough take control of
it's flight!
Well, it would focus this time. No getting distracted by
annoying human-things.
At the tip of it's tail, the eel-tongue flicked out, tasting
the air. The octopus tentacles stretched, feeling the trace
chemicals on the wind.
A scent.
No more Mister-Nice-Nightmarish-Horror. This time, one blow,
and that's *it*!
With a bellow, the Creature flapped it's wings and headed
toward it's prey.
* * * * * * * * * *
"That should take care of it for a few minutes," Ranko
stated as she and Ranma landed next to the bubble.
Tofu flicked his finger against the wall of the bubble,
quietly popping it out of existence. "So, are you kids going
to explain to me what happened?"
Shampoo, Ryoga, and Ranma all opened their mouths at once,
catching the doctor up with what happened, from Pantyhose
getting injured to the mirror allowing the curse-souls free.
Shampoo immediately started calling "Here, kitty-kitty!" as
she looked for her cat-half.
"Wait a minute!" Ranko exclaimed. "That thing's still
charged?"
"Yeah," Ranma replied. "We saw the monster come out
ourselves."
"Aw, hells. And it's after Pantyhose, huh?"
"Why not?" Ryoga retorted. "I'd be upset if my other half
was like him."
"It's a bit deeper than that, Lost Boy." Ranko remembered
what it was like, before she and Ranma could speak - staring
out of other eyes while another moved the arms and legs and
mouth, able to live only in dreams and desperate struggles
for control ...
A roar interrupted the committee meeting, all five heads
turning toward the sound.
"Fun while lasted," Shampoo sighed. "How we stop it?"
"You got some magic, doc," Ranma remarked. "You have
anything that can stall it until it rains?"
"That's about all we can do, even then, we can't let our
guard down since it has all of Taro's skills. But it may be
easier to control it on our level. Back to the clinic -
that's where Taro is, and where the Creature will probably
be headed." Tofu turned and raced down the street, followed
shortly by Ryoga and Shampoo.
Ranko stood where she was, staring at the doctor. Ranma
waved his hand in front of her face. "Hey, Ko-chan, no time
for day-dreaming."
"Huh?" she blinked, looked up at him. "Gomen. Just
thinking."
Ranma grabbed his sister's hand and both leapt up to a roof
in pursuit.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akane had found the glass doors of the clinic shattered. She
was even more surprised junkies and thugs weren't looting
the place (but those type had started avoiding the Furinkan
area for some reason these past few months). She disregarded
it and took in Pantyhose, now regaining consciousness.
"Argh, my head ... " he murmured. She gently laid him down
on an examination table, leaving momentarily to wet down a
washcloth.
"It's okay, you're going to be okay," she cooed softly,
patting his face.
"Izzit you, Kasumi-chan?" he asked.
Akane paused. <Kasumi-*CHAN*?? What the hells' been going on
since Ranma and I've been gone?>
"I ... found my name ... and a sign really did come to me
... "
"Shh, don't talk. Doctor Tofu will be here soon."
"It may be too late ... damnit, this hurts ... Kasumi-sama,
I want to tell you something ... "
<Kasumi-*SAMA* now??>
An inhuman roar filled the air. Akane felt the floor rumble
under her.
"The monster is coming, it has to wait," she told him as she
picked him up again.
"Monster? Damn yeti ... even when I was a kid, it would pick
on me in my dreams ..."
Akane listened with some interest as she carried Pantyhose
to the basement about the lifelong feud he had carried on
with the curse-soul within him. Akane couldn't help but
think about how Ranma and Ranko might have been like that
had they never found out how to speak to each other.
"Well, I can get it now ... on my right hip ... the Bridle
of Anubis ... old magic ... got it for the Old Fart ...
control it ..."
As Akane put Pantyhose down on the basement floor, she
checked the pouch on his right hip.
The Bridle was a glorious thing - all silver and gold wires,
twisted together cunningly, like shining metal threads tied
into a series of intricate knots and gleaming loops. A true
piece of art.
"But how do I use it?" Akane asked.
But Pantyhose wasn't listening.
* * * * * * * * * *
The assembled fighters arrived at the clinic (Ranko looking
self-conscious at the door).
"AKANE!" Ranma called out.
"Nabiki??" asked Ranko.
With much huffing and puffing, Nabiki jogged in the front
door, a cat and piglet in hand. "<puff-gasp-puff> You guys
gotta run all over the place like that?"
"CAAAAAATTTT!!!" Ranma screeched, leaping up and clinging to
the ceiling.
"Damn!" Ranko cursed. "Nabiki! Take those animals to the
doc's office!"
Nabiki nodded and almost ran into the panicky Akane as she
dashed up from the basement.
"RANMA! I'M COMING!!"
A second later, Akane was in Ranma's arms, both in an
intense liplock. Shampoo cleared her throat and Ryoga
blushed in embarrassment.
"Come on, you horndogs," Ranko sighed. "We got a monster
coming this way for Pantyhose."
"Mmrph! Right!" Ranma pulled away from his fiancee -
reluctantly. "What've you got?"
"Pantyhose said we could use this on the monster," she held
up the wire object.
Tofu pressed his lips together, studying it. "Well, I
wondered where that went to. Best thing we can use at the
moment."
"What is it?" Ranko slid next to him to take a look.
"The Bridle of Anubis. Magical object that allows a person
to control another. It acts as a sedative by pressing on
certain shiatsu points. Supposedly created by the Egyptian
god Anubis to control the god Typhon."
"Then how's it magical?" Ryoga asked.
"Changes size and shape. It can fit over the Creature's neck
without stretching, and can adapt to faces or muzzles. Not
to mention it's indestructible. Perfect," he remarked,
grinning. He squeezed Ranko gently around the shoulders with
one arm and accepted the Bridle from Akane. "I have a plan."
Ranko gazed adoringly at the powerful, decisive man before
her. Her naked adoration was noticed by everyone in the room
- except Tofu.
"Ranma, Ranko, Ryoga, Akane - are you rested enough to use
your ki-attacks?"
"Can't, doc," Ryoga said. "I can't use the Shishi Hokodan
while I'm medicated."
"Well, you and Shampoo will have to work together, then."
"Don't forget me, doc."
They all turned toward Pantyhose, standing in the hall,
looking exhausted as hell.
"I don't know, Taro -"
"Jiro," he insisted. "My name is Jiro Hibiki."
Ryoga grinned, raised a hand in welcome, and stated, "Glad
to meet you, oniisan."
"Better than the other one he picked for himself," Ranma
muttered, making Akane and Ranko stifle their giggles.
Jiro Hibiki smiled painfully. "Just remember that, *little*
brother." Turning toward the doctor, he continued, "Forget
leaving me, doc. That thing has been tormenting me since I
could remember. It's about time that I tame that bastard
once and for all."
"But your injures ... "
"Nothin' but a flesh wound," he chided, carefully making his
way toward the group. "Doc, I'm gonna get that son of a
bitch, whether you want me to or not."
* * * * * * * * * *
Akari had worn herself out beating on Mousse, and had
recovered enough to start beating on him again (after he had
recovered enough to take more of her rage). He turned,
blades out, deflecting blows from the scimitar she held in
her dainty hands.
<And I was worried that the Rage Essence might have lost
potency,> he mused.
"You blind moron!" she shrieked. "I trusted you to help me
get my Ryoga-sama back, and you mucked it up!"
"I swear! It was an accident! Ow!!! Mama!!! Stop that! We
can find them again!"
"It's too late!" she swung again, the weapon making contact
against the side of a cistern water tank, spraying water out
and covering them both.
Mousse flapped around out of the stream, honking in anger.
Akari held up the sword, a mad look on her face, "WHO WANTS
MANDARIN DUCK?!?!"
A panda suddenly appeared, bearing a sign saying [How long
until he's ready?]
Mousse quacked, taking to the air as the girl and panda
chased after him.
[Hey! Come back with my free food!] the panda signed.
* * * * * * * * * *
The ground shook as the creature landed, the pavement
cracking beneath its hooves. The backblast from its wings
blew debris through the air, and it's roar caused residents
to peak out of windows, then retreat to their basements.
It tasted the air again. It's prey had left, had run off to
another part of the city ... away from the city. What fools
these humans be, believing they could run and hide. No more
running, Warden, the time of retribution has come at last!
The Creature spun around, lifting up into the air again,
hunting for the Warden.
* * * * * * * * * *
The martial artists raced through the streets, Jiro being
supported between Ranma and Ryoga as they ran ahead of the
girls and the doctor.
<My brothers ... > Ranko thought to herself, letting Akane
whip behind her as she held her future sister-in-law's hand
in her run. <Damn, who would have thought ... >
"Hey, doc!" Ranma yelled. "You said this place has a hill we
can use to spring on the monster?"
"Yes, a large one, quite steep on one side."
"Good ... " Hefting up Jiro on his side, the three shot off
toward the outskirts of town, away from innocent lives.
It might get a little ugly.
* * * * * * * * * *
The Creature circled around the hilly landscape again,
feeling the traces of teenagers dotted among the grasses
below it. So, the final battle to be outside of
'civilization'. Not a problem at all.
The beast opened it's jaws and bellowed, "{Come out, little
boy, and let me eat at your soul again!}"
Jiro's face went ashen, then he set his jaw in determination
as he marched resolutely forward from his hiding place, as
steadily as he could manage without falling over.
"WELL?! COME AND GET ME, YOU WORTHLESS CARCASS! LET'S END
THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!"
The Creature glared at Jiro Hibiki, hate pouring off of it
in a visible battle-aura, red as blood. As irresistible as a
volcano, it stepped forward, toward it's nemesis.
Ranma, Akane, Ranko, and Doctor Tofu watched from a high
hilltop, waiting for the Creature to come into range.
Ranma squeezed his sister's hand and whispered, "I'm so glad
we never reached that." Ranko smiled in return.
Akane was excited - her first real battle at Ranma's side!
Not as a hostage (or a rescuer), but an equal facing an
opponent together!
"Ranma-sama!" she whispered.
"What, Akane?"
"I just fell in love with you again!"
Ranma grinned, no longer embarrassed or ashamed of his
feelings. "Ai shiteru yo, my fierce warrior-lady!"
"Yuck, fish," Ranko remarked, wrinkling her nose at the
Creature's smell.
Tofu took Ranko's wrist.
"Sensei?"
He leaned over, kissing her mouth briefly, then released
her. "For luck."
Akane and Ranma smiled at them. Ranko smiled at nothing.
"ATTACK!!!" Tofu yelled out.
The four hilltop martial artists stood and held their hands
before them.
"MOKO TAKABISHA!"
"DOKO RAKURAI!"
"JEIGOKU SEISATSU!"
"SHEI-YAHH!!!"
Four energy bolts slammed into the Creature's gut.
"NOW!!" Shampoo cried out from the field.
Ryoga and Shampoo leapt out from their concealment, bonbori
and combat umbrella striking together.
Tentacles whipped out, attempting to grab at the martial
artists on the hill. They bounced off, some landing on it's
face, others into the grass.
Doctor Tofu and Ranko landed in the grass, both
somersaulting in landing, then sitting up.
"You know," she sighed, pulling herself up. "We have to come
back here and have a picnic sometime - when we're not
battling monsters."
"I highly agree, Ko-chan," the doctor replied, weaving his
hands and forming a teal sphere of energy. Her hands raised
into another ki-blast.
Ryoga and Shampoo leapt out of the tentacles' paths, going
back to beating the Creature's sensitive back knees. She had
lapsed into a berserker state, singing old battle songs in
her Uighur/Tibetan dialect with scattered bits of the
Amazonian Greek. Ryoga tried to ignore his little
understanding of her languages, as most of the lyrics were
graphic in their narratives.
Ranma and Akane kicked and plowed their fists into the
monster's face, slamming forces against it's eyelids, all
while trying to avoid it's hands from grabbing them.
Ranma grinned, delivering a hard punch into the Creature's
left eye. "Let's kill him, lover!"
Akane squealed in delight, landing a kick against the
monster's right eye.
"FINAL BLOW!" Tofu ordered. "Make it hard!"
Shampoo pulled a chopstick out and shot it up toward the
head. Akane caught it and plowed it between the Creature's
eyes.
Ranma directed a ki-blast on top of the beast's head,
sending him and Akane in the other's arms flying high into
the cloud-covered night sky.
Ranko and Tofu let a ki-blast and a magic bolt rip toward
the beast's tender gut.
Ryoga and Shampoo swung umbrella and bonbori simultaneously
to the back of each knee.
The Creature bellowed in shock and pain as it toppled
backwards, it's huge numbers of limbs flailing wildly.
Jiro stood straight, all traces of weakness suddenly gone
from his aura as he had waited for the right moment. He
leapt across the distance separating himself and his
enemy, the Bridle swinging from his hand.
The Creature jerked, trying to escape -
- as the Bridle slapped it in the face.
The Creature roared as the Bridle wriggled, shaped itself to
its face, settled tightly to it.
The warriors assembled as the Creature calmed, then lay
still.
Jiro Hibiki, formerly Pantyhose Taro, laughed as he stood
upon the chest of his oldest enemy. "I WON, YOU PATCHWORK
FREAK!! YOU HEAR ME?? I WON!!"
"Gee, what a gracious winner," Ranko said snidely as she
watched Jiro dance around on the helpless creature's chest.
"Nice how he shares the credit, too," Ranma added.
"I may never change again, but it's worth it if I get rid of
*you*!!" he cried, kicking the creature over and over.
"Should we tell him?" Akane asked.
The clouds rumbled.
"Nah," Ranma said. "He'll find out in a minute."
"Find out what?" Shampoo asked. "We separated from curses -
we not cursed, right?"
The rain began to fall.
Ryoga-buta and Shampoo-neko struggled to get out of their
clothes, while Ranma-onna looked on with some amusement, and
Ranko-kun winced as his panties again hurt him in an
intimate fashion.
"Now you know why I wear boxers," Ranma-onna said.
"Shut up," he replied.
Jiro-kaijuu looked around in shock, staring down at the
transformed Creature, now resembling a naked Jiro.
"He should be easier to handle this way," Tofu said, bending
down and picking up the helpless young man. "Let's go back
to the clinic, and we'll get all of you some hot water." He
looked at the Bridle-wearing Kaijuu-Jiro in his arms.
"Except you, of course."