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MSS Productions
A division of SIPP
presents
Self Insert Hunter
"The Rabbit That Could"
[part one of three]
by wx721
**NOTE** Don't take this fic seriously. If you do, you'll suffer brain
damage. I meant to write a SI-parody, but unfortunately it ballooned into
this. Blame Avatar who gave me the idea years ago for this fic. ^_^;
Disclaimer: This work is not meant to be published or distributed for
monetary units. Author permission required for posting and/or
transmission. Copyrighted characters and/or concepts held by their
respective owners (Pioneer/AIC, CLAMP, Baen).
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*Insertion successful.*
Fighting down the headache, Myung saw an inky black expanse
streaked with faint rivers of stars. Space, the final frontier for many
civilizations, he thought as he grinned.
Hmm, this case might be interesting if the misson profile was
accurate.
Then again... maybe not as 'interesting' as his last case, where
he had to hunt down Happousai in reality 9.641x10^18, the universe of
anime women. 9.641 seemed to attract dimensional transients like crazed
flies for some odd reason.
The hunter repressed a shudder in the vacuum. Bad. He had bad
moments in 9.641, especially when the twisted lecher groped Ralley Vincent
and Mitaka Arisa in their respective shower stalls. The result was... not
pretty.
Thank goodness Happousai was a malleable animate. He deserved
whatever he got, but at least the old dwarf was alive and had a big, goofy
grin when he got Removed.
Sigh.
500,000 cases down. 2.5 million in the queue. Reality
3.219x10^26 as his current assignment. Good Town was still far away.
He looked at his Scanner and found his objectives were out of
range. *Search for our targets, C,* Myung telepathed as he cloaked
himself.
The invisible guide-cube promptly responded. *Requesting Control
for assistance.... All are within a volume of 3.5 LY cubed, due vector
0-3-2 by 4.08LY, L-speed constant within 0.0001% of your home world
value.*
Myung was glad that C was still with him after so many cycles.
It made his work so much easier. Guides were in high demand in Purgatory.
*Alright, prep slide to that area.*
*Inter-spatial slide is ready.*
*Translate.*
= = = =
Reality hit back at him. Vertigo blurred his vision, but faded
away as Myung rapidly blinked his eyes. Far to his right was a seemingly
small blue-green planet, lit by yellow-blue binary stars.
*Incoming threat!* alerted the cube.
*I don't see anything. What are they, C?*
*183 projectiles, speed 1000 KPS, heading 2-1-5. They will pass
by in 30 seconds.*
Myung snapped his fingers and phased out of the 3.219's matter
stream. Missiles? Was there a battle?
*Here they come,* the hunter thought to himself. Trails of light
by the dozens ripped past his position and disappeared into the darkness.
Close call.
*C, calculate my relative velocity to that planet.*
*Scanning.... The planet is inhabited -- detecting intersteller
capabilities. We are drawing closer to it by 5 KPS. The nearest target
is to our right, 150 TK away.*
*Alter our course, gradually, toward the target. Can you make a
guess on who it is?*
*Changing trajectory. Contacting Control.... I'm unable to get a
clear reading through it. Sorry.*
Myung pressed his mouth into a thin line. No solid reading --
that could mean several things. *Prepare for another slide, C. Close to
that target this time, with 4 MPS as outcome velocity.*
*I wouldn't recommend it. You just slid.*
*I know, C. I have a feeling about this.*
*Okay. Inter-spatial slide is ready.*
*Go.*
= = = =
Crystallized water droplets wildly swirled in the vacuum as Myung
slid out next to a hulking metallic bulkhead. The hunter took a moment to
regain his senses.
*Are you alright?* ask the cube with concern.
He blinked his eyes. *I'm fine. Jeezes, this looks bad.*
Stretching for tens of kilometers was an expanding cloud of vapors
and odd fragments mixed with gargantuan pieces of what remained of an
armada. Vast ruptured hulls shaped like hammer heads littered the area,
sometimes still smouldering with fierce plasma fires and nuclear
reactions. The hunter's face hardened as he saw thousands of vaugely
familiar four limbed things adrift in the debris field.
*A battle.* Myungsu punched in commands into his Scanner. The Rip
surrounding this one was localized 0.68km to his bottom left. It wasn't
too strong, which was good news. He didn't want to deal with any
side-effects.
Heading toward his target, he silently went through the debris
field, feigning indifference to the wreckage and bodies marred by
radiation and explosive decompression.
He found the target, or what remained of it inside a crumpled
life-pod -- another addition to the statistic of reality hoppers that
perished. The target looked like a female human with coppery hair.
*That must be Jinnai Nanami. Contact Control of a fatality, C.* Myung
snapped his fingers and raised the neutrino field.
*Contacting.... Control has locked on to the target.*
*Remove.*
Space folded, and the body was gone. Feeling a little down, Myung
softly queried his cube. *Any comments from Control?*
*Stand by.... Comments are as follows: Jinnai Nanami matter
secured. 3.219 flow disruption increased by 50% since last monitor cycle.
Primary agitator -- target designation Mokona. Advise extreme prejudice
in Removal. Change of mission time table. Conclude operation in 4.5
standard hours, local time. Total erasure deemed necessary if Instability
spike detected.*
Cripes. Total erasure. Was this reality screwed up that bad?
Shayla had failed to mention that to him, which wasn't surprising. Maybe
these wrecks were the result of the Rip; that idea was unsettling to him.
And 4 hours was too short.
Be quick and dirty, the hunter thought to himself. *C, patch
through Control again and get a fix on primary target.*
*Processing.... Associated Rip distance 0.6 LY. Its vector is
closing in fast to this system. I estimate entry in 1-2 hours.
Remaining three targets are within 2000 TK.*
*Alright, get the slide ready.*
*We must specify the location first.*
*Jeezes.... Still dizzy. Lets clean out the others before Mokona
gets here. Who's our nearest target?*
*Processing.... Designation, Jinnai Katsuhito.*
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next: part two of three
"Oh, Admiral! Your ears are so big!"
"PuupuPuuu!"