Finally had time to read and reply to this one.
Ranma's fate was certainly a surprise. It's hard to comment on the
overall story without knowing where you're going with it. If this is it
as far as Ranma goes, then my gut feeling is that you probably revealed
his fate too quickly. This almost makes the identity of Akane's poisoner
(which is presumably the focus of the rest of the story) a moot point;
does it really matter after this?
If, OTOH, there's more developments on this, then I don't have a problem
with it. Maybe the remainder of the story is going to turn the tables
and let Akane save Ranma. Or maybe she'll try and fail.
Now, just a couple of relatively minor points.
First of all, what's become of Akari? Ryoga went through his whole
internal monologue without her even crossing his mind. Why? If she's
dumped him, or he thinks she has, we need to know.
Secondly, Kasumi lecturing Akane on her treatement of Akane. This I just
couldn't swallow. In the original series, Kasumi rarely ever told people
what to do, and (with the notable exception of Genma in volume 1) when
she did she only gave them suggestions, not out-and-out scoldings. She
might change this behavior in exceptional circumstances, but I don't see
why that would happen here.
Looking forward to the next chapter....
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html