DISCLAIMER: I do not admit that I don't deny not owning the
lack of rights to Ranma 1/2.
-----------------
Ranma 1/2: "A Matter of Romantic Chemistry - pt. 5
By Lady Tesser and Jack Staik
----------------
"He's got to be around here!"
"Bweee..."
"I know, buta-chan, you're homesick. But as soon as we find
Ryoga-sama, we'll go home."
"Bwee?"
"I'm not sure. We could try his house; he may have left a
message. If not, we can try the Tendo place."
"Bwee."
"I'm glad you approve. Onward, Katsunishiki!"
* * * * * * * * * *
Pantyhose Taro finished his breakfast, thanked his
unconscious hosts, and departed, but not before telephoning
the police concerning a certain former drug parlor.
He had no tolerance for junkies or the garbage that sold the
junk, but they always had plenty of money to donate (after a
bit of 'persuading'), lots of food for their munchie
attacks, and when they tell the police about the hideous
monster that wrecked the place, no one will believe them.
The thought of the pushers explaining to the cops what
happened always cheered him up.
He had considered staking out the Tendo place until the Old
Freak showed up, but that was taking too long; the Bridle
had to be used with the next 13 days - the seventy-eighth
new moon of this cycle - or it would be useless for another
six years.
So he was going to do something that revolted him, nauseated
him, and went against every instinct in him.
He was going to ask for help.
* * * * * * * * * *
Ranko and Nabiki walked silently to school, both lost in
their own thoughts. Last night had been exhausting for both
as they dealt with odd family relations and reunions.
Nabiki rolled over her regret of not being able to fetch her
camera quick enough to get some nudies of Ryoga. She was
sure that very odd pig-obsessed girl Akari would have use
for them, but she wasn't going to contemplate what their use
would be. Kasumi had conveniently brought down a guest
kimono for the Hibiki boy. <Oh, well, there's sure to be
opportunity enough, since he's practically an in-law. Ick.>
Ranko's storm of emotion barely showed on the surface. A
fitful night of dreams revolving around Ranma disowning her
for attacking Nodoka and her own hands taking the woman's
katana to end her own short existence had plagued what
little sleep she had. <Is she the monster I know her to be?
Is this female creature truly my mother? Was I once born
from her womb in a former life that ended before it began?>
She needed release, a chance to vent this frustration in her
thoughts.
It came in the form of Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of
Furinkan High.
The upperclassman stood before the clock tower of the
school, watching the redheaded bombshell approach through
the gates. The Horde of Hentais he had spurned on to beat
Akane were now milling about and clearing a path for her.
She smiled a bitter smile at them.
Kuno pulled a rose from the same place mallets and other
offensive weapons are kept and flicked his wrist to shoot it
toward her.
Ranko turned her head and caught the flower between her
teeth as the petals stirred in the breeze.
"'A thing of beauty is the rose
of which love eternal grows
But not as fair as the maiden
of whom my heart is laden.'"
Nabiki stuck her finger in her mouth, making retching
noises.
"So full of crap his eyes are brown," she muttered, walking
off to take bets from the horde surrounding the two.
Ranko slowly turned her head to face him, the rose still
clutched between her teeth. Kuno felt his Shorter Partner
stir around as he took in the sight of her wild, loose hair
and the too-tight uniform over her full curves.
She pulled the rose from her mouth, a demonic smirk very
slowly spreading across her pretty lips.
"Have you come to duel me, Tatewaki?" she asked.
<Oh, Gods, how beautifully she says my name!>
"Correct. I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, Tatewaki
Kuno, shall claim you, My Redheaded Goddess. But, first - "
he held up the bokken. " - you must defeat me in combat!"
"Fine, Tatewaki," she replied, slipping the blossom behind
her ear and placing her books down on the ground. "Let's
dance."
"Dance?" he puzzled over her use of the term, then
discovered her foot was plowed in his gut.
"And if I win," she said, smiling, "I win the right to not
date you, since you aren't man enough for me."
"What?" he cried in shock. Then he cried out "ugh!" as
Ranko's dainty foot slammed into his cheek in a roundhouse
kick.
"And if you win," she continued, "you have to admit you're
not a man, since a real man doesn't *need* to beat up a girl
in order to date her!"
"No!" he welled, slashing at her head. Ranko ducked the
blow, then backflipped, kicking off Kuno and shoving the two
of them apart.
"By the way, Tatewaki," she commented casually. "What's my
name?"
"Huh?" He asked intelligently (possibly the most intelligent
thing he'd said in his life).
"How many times must I tell you, you moron?" She twisted,
sending her foot across his face again. "My name is Ranko
Saotome! That would make me Ranma Saotome's sister!"
She dropped, letting Kuno regain his bearings. His bokken
came swinging down at her; she leapt up and landed
delicately on the blade, balancing as she performed a
pirouette on it.
"Since Ranma Saotome is my *brother* - " her voice became
louder, catching everyone's attention. " - there are laws
regarding the intimacies of siblings."
Kuno stared up at her, grinding his teeth. He made a grab
for her skirt, but not before she backflipped, kicking his
face in the process.
"And you have publicly accused my *own brother* of having
sexual relations with me! On numerous occasions!"
Nabiki noted the rise of anger in her future sister-in-law's
voice. <Oh, hells, time to hide! Don't want to get innards
all over my jumper!>
The sound of rooba-rooba from the crowd realizing that Ranko
and Ranma were, in the most simplistic terms possible,
brother and sister hit them.
Kuno got up, making a grab for her jumper front but grabbed
a breast instead. She stood there, wide-eyed in surprised,
watching the faintest trickle of a nosebleed.
"WHEN *YOU* ARE THE HENTAI THAT MOLESTS ME!!!" she shrieked,
kneeing him in the groin.
He released her to grab hold of himself as he doubled over
in pain.
Ranko spun around in a complete circle, battle aura lit, and
cupped her hands in front of her.
"Kuso!" Nabiki screamed, scampering over a wall for
protection.
"DOKO RAKURAI!!!"
The brilliant yellow-white ki-blast tore the cement up as it
raced to Kuno, sending him into orbit with singed hair and
shredded clothes. He became a dot in the sky.
The students stood around Ranko, speechless and petrified
with fear.
The redhead's battle aura cooled down, and a smile of relief
fell over her face. "Gods, I needed that. Come on, Biki,
we'll be late for class."
Nabiki poked her head from around the wall, checking the all
clear.
"You know, Ko-Chan, I think you might have a bit of a
temper."
* * * * * * * * * *
Ryoga awoke in his room the next morning. He stared at the
ceiling for a long time, recalling the 'discussion' he and
his father had on the way home from the Tendo Dojo and over
a late supper then far into the wee hours of the morning.
How *dare* he take advantage of a young girl's innocence by
posing as a pet. How *dare* he try to kill the girl's
fiance. How *dare* he intentionally avoid taking his
medication. He made it sound like it was all Ryoga's fault!
He couldn't understand why his father was so adamant about
him fighting with Ranma Saotome. Ranma was a bastard, he
told his father. He would hear none of it, demanding to know
what his son had been doing by not taking his meds. Ryoga
tried to explain his ki-blasts ... and they both got into an
argument about the proper use of martial arts.
He sighed, then moaned, remembering that in his fear of
seeing his father, he forgot he was nude in front of two
women - one of them Nabiki, no less! He prayed she didn't
have her camera around to sell any pictures to Akari. He
didn't need her to bug him right now.
Was it true, though? *Had* Ranma and Akane run off together?
Consenting, no less? No, Ranma had to have kidnapped her,
that was the only explanation (that he could grasp).
He got up and wandered around his room, trying to locate the
closet for a fresh tunic and pair of trousers. At last, he
dressed and left his room, locating the kitchen where his
father was making breakfast. A bottle of medication was
setting alone on the counter.
"Take your meds."
"Yes, sir."
He gazed at his father, noticing the lines around his mouth
and eyes. His weather-beaten skin and tired face. Ryoga's
face, in another twenty years or so. He was surprised he
recognized his father, being he was always gone on business.
"Ryoga, I do want you to understand that I don't hate you."
The Lost Boy nodded, opening the refrigerator to find a
carton of milk. "Sure, Dad, you just don't like me. I'm a
big-ass disappointment to you, and you can't stand it."
"Where'd you get that idea?"
"You. I'm a complete mess, in your opinion. You say I stalk,
try to murder, am a hentai, and too violent." He slammed the
carton of milk on the counter. "DAMNIT, DAD, I'M NOT
PERFECT!"
"I never expected you to be," Hibiki remained calm. "But if
you're able to get yourself into trouble, you're old enough
to get yourself out. You're seventeen years old, Ryoga, I
expected better from you by now. You still act like you're
ten."
"You think this is easy, dad?" he asked. "You think having
this stupid 'lost' gene is any better? I can't stand it! I
can't, I can't, I can't!"
Ryoga bared his fangs in a full fit. Ichiro casually stuffed
a riceball in his son's mouth, who chewed and swallowed it.
"My son, we must come to an understanding. I do not hate or
dislike you. The things you have done must be repented and
fixed, and you must do that on your own. You can start by
taking your medication regularly."
"I don't want to. The stuff gives me heartburn."
"It's a gel caplet, you take water in your mouth first and
then drop them in. Your saliva makes it sticky and it sticks
in your esophagus until it dissolves, that's why it feels
like heartburn."
"Oh ... " Ryoga mumbled, inhaling a mouthful of milk and
tilting his head back. He dropped the caplets in his mouth
and swallowed the mix down.
"It'll take a few days for it to start taking effect. I want
you to promise me you'll take them every day at the same
time."
"Sure, dad ... But why do I have to? I was doing fine
without them."
"You were destroying property and threatening to kill
people. That's not normal behavior, son."
"So, what *is* normal?"
The door chime interrupted. Ryoga stole another riceball and
stuffed it in his face as his father went to answer the
door.
On the other side, Ichiro found a young lady with long
purple hair and wearing a nice Chinese dress in magenta. She
smiled daintily up at him.
"Ohayo," she said in a lilting voice.
He bowed deeply to her, then greeted her in Canton Chinese.
Her face split open in a sunny smile, and she replied in her
dialect.
He paused, realizing she was a Chinese Amazon. He racked his
brains to remember the dialect used around Jusenkyo.
"{What may I do for you, young lady?}"
"{I am looking for Ryoga Hibiki. I understand that he lives
at this address.}"
"{What business have you with my son?}"
"{Are you his father? An honor to meet you at last. I am
Shampoo, and have come to speak with Ryoga of marriage.}"
Ichiro proceeded to facefault in the doorway.
"{Mr. Hibiki?}"
Shampoo shook her head. Men were weird the world over;
aggressive and violent, but not strong enough to handle such
basic things as love, childbirth, and raising children. She
picked her future father-in-law up and stared him eye to
eye.
"{I know Ryoga has not mentioned me to you, but according to
the Goddess, Ryoga is my True Love. I must take him as my
husband and have many children to make the Amazon tribe
strong. I do admire him despite his shortcomings, and I will
do all I can to make him happy.}" <Work that magic, girl.
You got to get on your future in-law's good side to get the
man.>
The senior Hibiki nodded, dazed by this development. "{You
have to understand, my son is ... not healthy.}"
<He's as nutty as a fruitcake, old man, but he's got a cute
butt.> "{I understand completely. I want to help him. He has
qualities that I admire, nonetheless. Is he here?}"
"{In the kitchen.}"
"{Thank you.}"
He allowed Shampoo to enter, catching the scent of cherry
blossoms as she passed him. The thought that an Amazon
desired his son as a husband floored him. Yet, he smiled.
Perhaps a tough Amazon was all Ryoga needed. He ran across
them only a few times, not long enough to know a girl and
have fun with her, but long enough to develop a mutual
respect.
<I'm getting too old for this.>
Ryoga looked up to see the purple-haired bombshell enter his
kitchen. Involuntarily, his eyes swept over her figure in
the tight dress, lingering over her breasts and the
wonderful curve of her hips.
He covered his face with a napkin to hide his nosebleed.
Shampoo chuckled to herself, proud to cause his reaction.
She so delighted in her power to cause men to go nuts.
Finally, his gaze got all the way to her face.
"ARGH!!! THE GLOMPER!!! KEEP AWAY, YOU CRAZY CAT!!!"
His father blinked. "Cat?" he asked.
"She has a Curse, too," Ryoga explained, climbing up on the
counter. "She turns into a cat when splashed with water!"
"And you turn into piggy!" she replied. Then calmed herself
and switched to Cantonese. "{Ryoga-kun, I have come to
formally ask you to be my husband.}"
Ryoga wasn't fluent in Cantonese, but could follow it. He
paused, a little surprised at the seemingly increased
intelligence when she spoke in another tongue. Still ...
"Why do you want me as your husband? You love that idiot
Ranma!"
She blushed, and answered, "{That was not of my doing. My
grandmother insisted I pursue him because of the law in
which we were to wed because he bested me in combat. I am
now free of that bond since Akane Tendo has defeated me for
his hand. I have chosen you as my fiance because you are
strong and respectful, and I have always admired you
whenever we fight together.}" <Is that a reasonable enough
bait, honeybun?>
Ryoga was now perched on the top cabinets, looking down
fearfully at her. In truth, he was scared of her. Strong
women always made him shy, and the fact she was gorgeous to
boot and made little stirrings inside him was beside the
point. He didn't believe for an instant that Shampoo was
going to let him gently love her either.
<NANI?! What the hell am I thinking?! I don't want Shampoo!>
"Um, Shampoo? I don't - I mean - I - I can't have a
relationship with you!"
"{Why not?}"
"I'm - uh - gay!"
Shampoo shook her head. "{I saw how you were staring at my
breasts. Try again.}"
"I've - got a girlfriend!"
"{That doesn't wash, either. Akane wants you as the
centerpiece of a luau.}"
"I meant Akari! Akari Unryuu!"
Shampoo digested this. "{Then how come I've never heard of
her before?}"
"She doesn't live around here."
As Ryoga continued weaseling, the door chimed again. Ichiro
left his son and (he was certain) his future daughter-in-law
to their little talk in private.
* * * * * * * * * *
Pantyhose hated doing this.
He had spent his entire life being independent. He didn't
ask for help from anyone. He was strong and didn't need
anyone.
But if he was going to get any straight information about
the old freak from the Tendos and femboy, he needed someone
they wouldn't suspect to talk to them.
And aside from the Amazons and the Tendo Dojo crowd, the
only other person her knew in Tokyo was ...
His father opened the door.
Ichiro's face broke into a smile. "Son! It's good to see
you!" He reached forward to embrace him.
Pantyhose sidestepped his father's attempt at affection.
"Hi, Ichiro. How's tricks?"
"Can't you call me 'Dad', just once?"
"No. Nice place."
"How did you know where to find me?"
"You left one of your business cards with Mom, remember? It
had your address."
Ichiro smiled. His oldest son had an amazing memory, and
sharp wits. Even with a spotty education, he had a first-
class mind. If only he didn't have the Hibiki temper, or the
Hibiki stubbornness.
"How is your mother these days?"
Pantyhose's attitude became cold. "I wouldn't know. We
haven't talked a lot recently."
Ichiro looked sad. "I'm sorry."
"Give it a rest," Pantyhose said scornfully. "This should
cheer you up - I need your help."
Ichiro looked stung. "I don't feel glad that you need help,
but it does my heart good that you'd come to me."
"Yeah, yeah," he said absently. "Look, Ichiro, -"
Ichiro took Pantyhose's hand. "Come along. This is the
perfect time to meet your brother and his fiancee!"
"BROTHER?!?"
"Yes. This is my wife's house."
Pantyhose was stunned. He had a brother?? And a stepmother,
too, apparently.
Curious, he allowed his father to lead him to the kitchen.
* * * * * * * * *
"Because - she's got to take care of her grandfather! Now
quit bugging me!"
Ichiro came back into the room. "Son! This is a joyous day!
Your older brother has arrived!"
Ryoga looked shocked. "I have a brother??"
Shampoo looked surprised. "You not know you have brother?"
<He's denser than I thought.>
"He is my son from my first marriage - I was married and
divorced before I met your mother. Now he's here, and my
sons can at last meet! Son, come in." Ryoga and Shampoo's
eyes widened as the familiar figure entered the room.
"PANTYHOSE?!?"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" he snapped. "What are you doing here,
pig-boy?"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!" Ryoga snapped. "And I live here!"
"Boys! Please!" Ichiro shouted. "Calm down! I won't have my
sons squabbling!"
The two boys looked at each other, then at Ichiro. "*HE'S*
my *BROTHER*?!?" they both exclaimed incredulously.
"Monster Boy is Airen's brother??" Shampoo asked. <I don't
want to be related to him! It'd be ... embarrassing!>
Pantyhose looked at Shampoo, then at Ryoga. "You're marrying
*her*?!?" he laughed.
"No!" Ryoga protested.
"Just love 'em and leave 'em, huh?" Pantyhose teased. "You
picked the right one, then." He turned to Shampoo. "Hiya,
cat-girl. You tell him about that weekend we had?"
Shampoo blushed. "Who care about past?"
"Huh??" Ryoga boggled.
<Oh dear,> Ichiro thought. <This is not going well.>
Outside, listening at the window, lurked another person of
Shampoo's past, who had remained in her life, despite all
odds.
"Shampoo is *mine*, you one-night stands!" he spat hatefully
toward the voices.
Mousse remembered back when he and Shampoo were ten, when
she first kissed him. He knew, from that day forward, that
she was his. A few years later, they both explored the
Mysteries of the Flesh for the First Time together.
He was certain that he would marry her and keep her forever.
She was his First. He was her First. There was no other way
about it.
All these other young stallions that have tasted of his
Shampoo have known his wrath. Both her Airens have known how
possessive he was of her, how he was willing to kill ...
He checked his sword; Jealous Lover ki-energy poured through
his veins, feeding his strength and skill. Two brothers
waited to be annihilated by his hands.
<MOUSSE stands triumphantly over the mangled bodies of
SHAMPOO'S former lovers. Nearby, SHAMPOO gazes at him in
rapt adoration.>
<SHAMPOO: Oh, Mousse, how could I have ignored you?>
<MOUSSE: Just be mine forever, my Shampoo.>
<SHAMPOO: Of course I will! I love you, my Airen!>
Once he defeated the asses inside first, though.
He took a deep breath, then crashed through the wall.
"PREPARE TO DIE, HIBIKIS!!!"
"Who's that?" Ichiro asked, watching the bespectacled young
man wave a B.A.S. (Big-Ass Sword) around.
Shampoo slammed her hand over her face and moaned. "Mousse
from Amazon village. He big pain in ass. He try to kill
Airen."
"Ryoga, he's been trying to kill you? Why?"
Pantyhose only laughed harder. "Because he's a jealous
little mother ducker." He chortled at his own word-play and
Ryoga groaned.
"My wall ... " the senior Hibiki sighed.
"You both die for taking advantage of my Shampoo!" Mousse
cried, starting to slash at Ryoga.
<WHANG!> "Not *your* Shampoo, duck-boy!"
Mousse found a frying pan had slammed down on his head.
Shampoo lifted it up, grinning, "Shampoo enjoy that. Hiba-
chan good teacher."
Taro guffawed hysterically, leaning in the doorway of the
kitchen. "Heh heh heh. Maybe this marriage will work out,
pig-boy. She'll ... cat-whip you in an instant."
"Will you *shut up*?!" Ryoga yelled, leaping over Mousse's
dazed body and slamming into his brother.
Ichiro grabbed his hair in his hands, horror crossing his
face. <This was not what I had in mind for their first
meeting!>
Shampoo sighed and patted her future father-in-law's arm.
"{Don't worry, Hibiki-otosan. I will get Airen out of this
fight. I promised you I'd look after him.}"
She took a deep breath, and as Ryoga and Pantyhose bit and
snarled and kicked each other in a ball of fury around the
kitchen, pulled out her bonbori and slammed them both on top
of the head.
"If stupid boys going to fight, at least do it properly! Not
rolling around on floor like little babies!"
They pointed to each other and yelled "*HE* STARTED IT!!"
simultaneously.
Mousse regained consciousness, and the first thing he saw
was Shampoo standing over his rivals. Immediately, his hands
sprung huge masses of blades. "I knew you'd fight for me, my
Shampoo!" he cried as he leapt to deliver the coup-de-grace.
In mid-air, the feet of Shampoo, Ryoga, and Pantyhose hit
Mousse in the gut, slamming him backwards through the
kitchen wall - and the kitchen sink.
Water sprayed through the room, drenching everyone.
Ichiro looked on as a pink-and-purple cat and a black
bandana-wearing piglet leapt outside onto a top-knotted
duck, as a gigantic winged minotaur-monster shrugged off the
remnants of the kitchen ceiling.
"Oh, my God!" Ichiro exclaimed. "Oh, my God! Can't you
children stop this?! You're making a mess!"
Pantyhose-kaijuu roared, causing the small animals to look
behind themselves and get shocked. They knew he was big, but
their small perspectives, combined with proximity, made him
look like Gojira on steroids.
Pantyhose-kaijuu's fist went to his father's head, but was
blocked with a casual wave of Ichiro's hand.
"How could you, Son?" he asked. "Striking your own father?"
"[DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!]" he bellowed in his monster-tongue.
"[YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!!! YOU ARE NO KIND OF FATHER!!!]"
Tentacles lashed out -
- only to be immobilized in an unbreakable grip.
"The tentacles are new, Son," Ichiro said calmly, one hand
holding the tentacles without apparent effort. "We'll have
to discuss that later. Now, you need to calm down."
Casually, Ichiro heaved Pantyhose-kaijuu into the air with
one hand and slammed him into the ground.
Ryoga-buta, Shampoo-neko, and Mousse-oshidori boggled.
Ichiro walked up to the assembled small creatures. He stared
at the glasses-wearing duck. "You've attacked my sons and
made a mess in my house. I'll have to ask you to leave."
The rational part of Mousse-oshidori's brain told him that
this guy had just taken out Pantyhose Taro one-handed, and
to listen to him.
But the much stronger part of his brain said, <He's trying
to keep me from my Shampoo!!>
With a mad "Quack!", Mousse-oshidori flapped into the air
and unleashed a torrent of blades at Ichiro Hibiki.
Shampoo-neko and Ryoga-buta gasped in horror, then in shock
as not a single projectile reached the salesman, all
casually deflected.
<Amazon Hidden Weapons, eh?> Ichiro thought. <Easy enough.>
Ichiro walked through the cascade of lethal weapons unharmed
and swatted the duck.
"Box-Blower Blow!"
Mousse-oshidori stopped hurling blades and started panicking
as his feathers shuddered. Then, in an eruption of chains
and knives and assorted oddities, the duck vanished.
A geyser of metal erupted from Mousse-oshidori's plumage as
everything he had hidden on his person was violently flung
outward, burying him under the mass of concealed weaponry.
In seconds, a mound of bric-a-brac three meters high stood
in the Hibiki yard.
* * * * * * * * * *
Akari and Katsunishiki heard the eruption from the side
yard, and went over to investigate. Seeing her precious
Ryoga-sama in his adorable piglet form, she leaped off of
her sumo pig, bounced off Pantyhose-kaijuu's gut, and
scooped him up in her arms as she landed.
"Oh, my darling Ryoga-sama! Reunited at last! When you got
lost coming back from the wedding, I was so worried!"
Katsunishiki followed, also bouncing off of Pantyhose-
kaijuu's gut, which awakened the monster and made his eyes
bug out.
"Pardon me miss, but who are you, and what are you doing
with my son?"
"Oh, hello, Hibiki-san!" she said cutely. "I'm Akari Unryuu,
Ryoga's girlfriend. And this," she said, indicating the sumo
pig, "is Katsunishiki the Fourteenth, Champion Sumo Pig of
Japan."
<She's real?> Shampoo-neko thought. <I thought Ryoga was
making her up, just to weasel out of a relationship. Well,
I'll have to do something about *that*!>
"Unryuu?" he said, alarmed. "Are you any relation to Kichiko
Unryuu of Osaka?"
"I have a cousin with that name," she replied. "Do you know
her?"
"Whew! Dodged that one."
"Beg pardon?"
Before Ichiro could avoid explaining, a roar interrupted
them as Pantyhose-kaijuu slammed the pig that had hit him in
the gut into the ground.
"My baby!" Akari cried.
"Bwee!" Ryoga-buta cried as he struggled to get away.
"Rowr!" Shampoo-neko yowled as she leapt at Akari, claws
extended. <Hands off my property, girlie!>
Ichiro sighed. Children could be so rowdy.
Pantyhose-kaijuu raised his hand again, preparing to finish
off the pig, when a flying idiot slammed him in the head.
* * * * * * * * * *
Doctor Tofu felt the disturbance around him, the energies
flaring nearby. Like during the typhoon, but less intense.
Without second thought, he grabbed his bag and raced through
the streets toward the smoking house that was once the
Hibiki home.
Outside in the yard, he found half of the usual Nerima
Wrecking Crew in their cursed states, including one monster
in a semi-conscious daze that he immediately recognized as
Pantyhose Taro, one incredibly huge swine that had it's back
end sticking out of the ground and feet kicking in the air,
one young girl with claw slashes all over her face, and
Ichiro Hibiki holding his bleeding head in his hands,
sitting on what was left of the wall of his house.
Tatewaki Kuno, his clothes shredded and smoldering, was
sprawled on top of the monster, completely dazed as well,
appearing to have landed on him.
Tofu took inventory, and attended to the girl first.
"You okay, little one?" he asked her, pulling out sterilized
dressing pads to soak up the extra blood from her wounds. He
noted the pattern of the scratches as Shampoo's handiwork,
and made a note to talk to her as soon as she turned back.
"Mostly ... " she answered in a slow daze. "That cat wants
my Ryoga."
Tofu raised an eyebrow. <This is new.>
He turned and approached Hibiki. He chuckled and examined
his head. "Well, Ichiro-kun, looks like I pull you out of
yet another mess, my friend."
Ichiro looked up at the younger man and chuckled as well.
"Things always do find a way of going 'boom' around me, eh?"
"Mind telling me what happened?"
"Remember the time we met up in Bangkok, with that odd
family ... ?"
==============
A note on the suffixes:
-buta = pig
-neko = cat
-kaijuu = monster
-oshidori = mandarin duck