In a message dated 11/14/99 02:56:41 PM, wandererd@yahoo.com writes:
Yo! It seems some people actually liked Evaslayers! Wow! Never thought
it possible, actually I thought comments would be more along the line of:
YOU @#$*&! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO EVANGELION! YOU PUNY...
Yeah, you get the idea.
Well, not exactly for me. More like that I find it hard to believe how things
had turned out in your Slayer/NGE fic. For number one reason: Slayerverse
and NGE's world aren't even in same timeline. Not even in OUR timeline,
much less even Ranmaverse's, as a friend of mine pointed out for my
Ranma/Slayer xover fic (ulp!).
But if I just trash this fact, then I've no problems with it, and in fact
am even enjoying it. :)
"So what's your point, miss Inverse?"
'Miss' should be captialized.
The teacher walked towards her. "You cannot abandon class!"
"Shadow Snap!" Out of no-where Lina pulled out a small knife and
threw it at the teacher's feet. That stopped him cold, as everyone
looked at her in surprise. She smiled and left the room.
Rei looked at the new girl as she left the building. She hadn't seen
the knife before she pulled it out of no-where. Intrigued, she stood
and followed Lina out.
The old teacher could do nothing but watch them go out. He quickly
snapped out of it and tried to follow them, but, to his surprise he
couldn't move an inch.
Ah, the Shadow Snap. But that's rather diffuclt to pull off, especially
since the teacher wouldn't be casting much of a shadow, with all light
and sunlight in the room.
Lina stopped and turned to look at the girl that was following her.
"What? I hope you didn't come to try to stop me!"
Rei only shook her head, frowning a little. "I came to ask you, where
did you pull out that knife?"
She said it flatly that for a moment Lina didn't understand it was a
question. "Oh... that knife is created when you cast the Shadow snap."
Actually, that's not how it works. You need a weapon, usually a knife in
order for the spell to work. When the spell is cast, the weapon pierces
the shadow and through to the Astral plane, immoblizing the subject.
"Cast?" Rei asked in almost the same toneless voice as she caught up
with Lina.
"Yeah, Shadow snap is a spell that immobilizes the target for as long
as their shadow is in sight."
That other part of definition of the Shadow Snap is correct. ;)
Xellos had been prepared for anything. From the physical attack to
a Dragon Slave, to bickering. He however was certainly not expecting
a hug.
Much to Xellos' surprise, Lina threw herself at him and hugged him
fiercely, he was further surprised when he felt tears through the
soft fabric of his fake uniform.
"L-Lina?!" he stammered. For once, in his whole life, Xellos didn't
know what to do or say. This was very much unlike the Lina Inverse
he knew... he honestly didn't know what to do.
"Xellos..." Sniffed Lina. "I'm so glad to see you..."
Xellos' brain was in override. "Ah...ah..." Mazoku weren't trained
for this... he tentatively hugged her back.
"Lina?" Shinji looked at the couple.
Uhh, Lina and Xelloss a couple?
Seriously, it's perfectly understandable for Lina to react like this,
but not Xelloss. He'd be more likely to react like a stranger trying
to comfort a child who's been lost.
Xellos suddenly found himself wishing he didn't have to tell her.
"Did you check you things, Lina?" When she nodded, he continued.
"There should have been a message sphere in there, did you find it?"
Lina nodded again. "Did you use it?" Lina shook her head no.
Xellos sighed. "We should go and have you watch it Lina."
That last sentence sounded bit akward to me.
They arrived to Shinji's and Lina's apartment. Misato was still
out so they walked inside without a problem. Xellos looked at the
two kids. "Listen, this will be hard to Lina," he whispered as she
went to her room to fetch the sphere. "I know you are her friends,
so I want you to swear that you won't mention any of this to anyone,
okay?"
This seems to be a bit OOC for him. Xelloss has never shown any trace
of genuine concern for anyone. Not even Lina. In fact, he once planned
to sell Lina's life out just to get a certain bad guy to join his side.
Lina came back with the crystal sphere and placed it on the table.
After a moment everything became black and ... two breasts covered
in leather appeared. Shinji bigsweated. The breasts pulled back to
show the image of a woman barely covered in a leather bikini with
spikes.
LOL!
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The windows of
the apartment threatened to break.
"Lina Inverse! I your greatest enemy, 'Naga the White Serpent' have
come up with a great plan to help you recover!"
Leave it up to Naga to boast about it; she'd never resist rubbing in
the fact that Lina owes her big time.
"As you can see, the second casting of the Giga Slave left you
without energy, if you had stayed like this, you would have aged in
a coma state for the rest of your days. Therefore I have devised a
spell that will stop time for you at the same time it lets you gather
back your energy, and recuperate."
Forgive me for being bit blunt here, but how much do you know about
the Giga Slave spell? There's another factor involved in it that avid
followers of Slayers should be aware of by now, now that the final
episodes of Slayers NEXT has been released in US.
I could explain it to you privately, if you want. But be careful, because
it's a definite spoiler. BUT... It could be useful in the upcoming Third
Impact... hehe. ;)
Lina was now crying, holding the crystal sphere in her hands. She looked
up at Xellos.
"What happened?"
Xellos sighed. "Well, some idiot had the bright idea of waking another
part of you know who. Cephid had to come back since your sister was
Lemme guess: Ruby-Eye Shabranigdu, right?
unable to beat him and both dragons and Mazoku started fighting all
over the world, not sparing any place. If there was space to fight, it
was fought for, they eventually made it to Sailoon, where all of us
were at the moment, the magic destroyed most of the city, the few
survivors ran to the mountains, where the altar was hidden, we went with
them, but the Dragons and Mazoku eventually found us. We had to keep
fighting for almost a day, Gourry... he stayed by your side 'til the
end, Lina. Amelia died during the battle, which enraged Zel to no end,
when the fight ended he said that he didn't have anything else to stay
for, as he buried his wife next to Gourry and Luna, then left. I never
saw him again. Before he left, we built a small shrine for Naga next
to the others."
I personally doubt that Luna would be killed that easily. She's probably
the most powerful human magic caster in the world, with Lina trailing
behind her.
"Oh well, I suppose you should know anyway. That happened before this
universe was created."
Rei arched an eyebrow. Shinji was a little more surprised.
"BEFORE THIS UNIVERSE WAS CREATED?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN THAT BE?"
Xellos shrugged. "That's a secret."
Oh. I suppose that this could explain why Lina and Shinji's timelines
are different. Someone cut the cosmic string, didn't they?
Which also brings up a question of Xelloss' existence; if this universe was
recreated, then how come Xelloss and Lina are still alive? This blows a big
hole in the Big Bang theory if you're planning to use it. No way they would
have survived the Big Crunch, then later the resulting Big Bang.
Lina had cried herself to sleep. Xellos was a little spooked about that
since Lina had never, ever cried before. He couldn't do anything about
the conflicting emotions seeing her like that brought around.
He had left the house shortly after, leaving Lina in the care of the
two kids.
If anything, I think Xelloss should be curious, not worried about this.
End chapter 2
Overall, there's bits of slight inconsistencies that should be ironed out,
and I'd strongly recommed that you add five space charcters or a tab after
a hard return to indent paragraphs, like this paragraph is.
Other than those bit problems, and Xelloss' characterization (which I
don't agree with), the part 2 seemed to be okay. Not the best, but not the
worst either. Only by writing, you'll improve.
Third, if you like it... TELL ME PLEASE!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!
I liked it. ;)
-Wanderer D
... and NO I DON'T LIVE IN A HAY HOUSE! [Although sometimes I wish I did...]
Dark Alpha <AlphSailor@aol.com>