Hi!

This won't be much in the way of C&C, I'm afraid - it's a costly IP I've got; actually, the IP is cheap, the domestic call's a killer.

Anyway: I liked it, which surprised me, since I'm not usually into this type of fics - meaning, the self-insert type.  Not that it's necessarily a self-insert, but anytime a first-person persepctive gaijin character shows up, who knows martial arts - it's a fairly obvious assumption to make.  Done better than average, though, here, which is why I kept reading.  I liked what I read, anyway.

A few comments: why the spot usage of Japanese? It's an old debate, maybe, but since (presumably) the whole fic is a translation from Japanese (since the manga is) it seems odd, and unnecessarily distracting from the reading of the fic, to suddenly slam into a piece of Japanese.  With some words, it'd be obviously silly to translate, like character names, or 'sushi' or 'tatami,' or maybe even move names... but throwing in taidaima or itedekimasu or wakatta, seems unnecessary, and probably fails to convey a sense of cultural flavor (at least for me.)  Cultural details, i find, are better conveyed through prose details: heck, even mentioning tatami, or something about the nature of the roads, teh weather, or... any of a thousand unique Japanese details.

Nice to see another side of genma: he so often demonized (and often deserves it) that being presented a decent side to him is an interesting change.  Nodoka makes for an intreguing character, too, though I don't agree with the master-warrior interpretation of her (often used in fics) - I mean, this is the woman who slipped with her sword and sent it flying the first time she pulled it out when visiting the Tendos.

Other than that, interesting fic - hope to see more, although I hope it continues to focus on the cast regulars over the possibly self-insert character.

Later!
Mike Noakes

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