Ranma - Castle yarn, no sleeping allowed
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^
"It's not as it seems"
A wise phrase gently repeated in my dreams.
Surprise surprise when the dreams come real
and the stuff of nightmares distort what I feel.

When magic starts to work, people die.
When a life without her brings a tear to my eye.
When a life of my own/martial arts turns to a life of dreams.
I hear it a lot. "This' not as it seems"
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^

The world was a blank.
It wasn't totally dark or totally white or even grey. Not what you would expect from nothingness. It was "blank". As in the fact that nothing was there. Except of course that something was. A world isn't there unless there's something in it, however small that something may be. There wasn't much, not by a longshot. But enough to be there. And given that there was nothing else, it was a lot in itself.

This was until something else showed up. Something big. Three things actually. The one that was lost, the small one and the one that was many. They where different, they talked, the big ones did anyway.

-Where am I now?
-What did you do?
-Shush, I'm going to send you back.
-Now would be a good time.
-Quiet let me consentrate.
-Now!
-This is just so wrong, I'm not used to passangers.
-And I'm not used to...      to...
-What? Dimension-hops?
-Yeah! That! I didn't ask to be moved away from food.
-Just be quiet. I think it's...
-AAhh where's my legs! My body! What did you do?
-Inbetween, funny you shouldn't be aware...
-Undo this so I can beat you to a pulp!
-1,2...

There where no soundeffects. Not even the slightest noise. The something that was left shifted. The "something else" that had come, had left again. It was therefore possible to leave. The small something left as well. Nothing was left behind. Not even a place to be in.

--

Once upon a time there was a castle. It was a castle without a name. Not that it never had a name (wich by the way is Anthrax and no, it's not -that- castle) just that it doesn't have one right now. This castle (without a name) is situated in the middle of a large forrest, in a country that nobody ever heard of. Not even the people who lived there*.

It is common knowledge that a castle out in the middle of nowhere is a) a treasure trove, b) full of monsters or c) an abandoned ruin. Sometimes all together at once. In this castles case though that is not to be expected. But, heck, two out of three ain't bad, right?

--
* This' because everyone thought they belonged to another slightly bigger country
--

There was a flash. Ranma and Iruka appeared and at their feet was a small black pig.

-Yow! That hurt.
Ranma grabbed her head. Her pigtail had been cut off. She glared at her surroundings while lifting the little pig.
-Were are we?

They stood in a large room. One that best could be described as a banquet hall. It was built entirerly in stone and looked very gloomy, something that was enhanced a lot by the late hour. Shadows fell into places best avoided and the light that still came, came from a moon hanging in the sky outside.

Iruka looked hesitant at first but started talking anyway.
-We're in a castle, built in a gothic style, nobody around... hmm. I'd bet we're going to meet vampires. Though of what kind, I have no idea.

Ranma frowned.
-Monsters?

-Most likely, yes.

Ranma stroked the piglet carefully. Trying not to wake him.
-Could we get out of here quickly then?

-Not until the spell's worn off.

She frowned.
-Not good enough.
Without waiting for a responce, she pushed open two large double-doors. Built up of interlocking arms and a pair of snarling goblins on either side.

-Wait! You can't go alone. Who knows what you'll face out there!

-If you're so worried, you can come along. I'm warning you though. Don't kill my monsters before I'm done with 'em.

-Alright. But if they're too powerful, promise that you run.

Ranma looked at him annoyedly.
-Nothing can beat me. Her eyes glinted and she walked out.
Iruka looked after her retreating form.
-Sometimes I wonder how you could ever stay friends with my uncle.
He sighed deeply and began walking after her, almost falling over when he stumbled on a tuft of red hair. Curious, he picked it up and looked it over. After looking in Ranmas direction, he quickly pocketed it and started running to catch up.

She had already come a good distance but a tapestry had caught her eye. She stopped to examine the picture of her male form on it. The picture looked a litle bleak and the eyes seemed empty but it looked alive in all other aspects. An unsettling experience to say the least

Iruka slowed down as he came up to her.
-What're you up to? He asked.

Ranma failed to respond. She just stood the like a statue, totally mesmerized. Iruka knocked on her head softly. When Ranma still didn't respond, Iruka just nodded and grabbed her arm.

At this moment Ryo-chan, the pig in her arms, woke up. He looked around sleepily and saw Iruka, a corridor with lots of doors on either side and at the end of it, stairs leading down.

He was just about to close his eyes again and go back to sleep when he noticed the tapestry. His small pighairs rose in anger and he stood up in Ramas arms, ready to jump at the thief who took away his last chance to get back to his human body.

They both waited, Ranma and Ryo-chan, for the picture to move. The slightest pust of wind would have made them attack it.

-Beware the midnight hou...
-YAAAAAH!!!
-Ouch!

Ranma stood poised, her hand an inch from Irukas face, though it as scewed up in pain anyway since the pig had already bitten down into his hand.

-Whatever did you do that for? He shouted.

Ranma smacked him over the head.
-You startled me moron. Ryo-chan, let go of his hand. See, you startled him too!

-Sorry for being alive. I was just reading something interesting.

-What?

-Here. He pointed at a bit of text below the picture.
-It says, hrmhrm,
"And beware the midnight hour when monsters strike at thee. For in my castle midnight means a dussin deaths times three."

Ranma snorted, looked warily at the picture and continued on her way.
-Big deal, the guy looked familiar but otherwise...
She turned around and looked faintly annoyed.
-Are you coming or not?
-No, I think I'll catch up. There's some more interesting text here. Iruka answered.
-Not you, the pig!

Ryo-chan let go off Iruka and ran towards Ranma who picked him up with wide-open arms.
-We're going exploring Ryo-chan. You and me.
The pig bweed happily in responce and snuggled up to her.
Behind them, Iruka was left standing, eagerly reading the engraving.

--

As a note to all readers, this might be a good time too have a break. Go get your mug of coffe, go to the bathroom or whatever it is you do on those five minutes when the advertising's running during television shows.

[five minute break, have a kit-kat, be an energixer bunny or drop by at C&C]

Are we all back? Are we all collected? If not suggest taking a longer break (isn't great that there's no specific timetable? It's the advantage of books and fanfics) otherwise, sit back and enjoy the rest of this fanfic.

--

There is room as large as a small house in this castle with a candelabra the size of a shack. It should also contain a certain red-headed girl and her black pet pig. Unfortunately, they're not there. At least not yet. I'm not quite sure of the reason but I'll leave them alone for now.

The room that I mentioned earlier was a dining room. Not that you'd notice really, the tables and all the chairs except one had been taken out. That chair stood in the middle-back of the room. That is, if you came in from the only visible door. Otherwise it just looked like it was standing slightly closer to one wall than the others, facing inwards.

The one rug that was there covered almost all of the room save two inches on all sides, it had a clock-design on it. With arms made up of gold threads and the number twelve equally so. Everything else was in red and brown.

The windows were painted black while the windowframes were white and all the windows were placed on the wall to the right of the chair.

The walls themselves were white with yellow trimmi... WHERE THE HECK IS EVERYBODY? Ranma should have arrived a long time ago. Something must have held her up. I better check.

She could be in the dungeoun. Some monster could have dragged her off. So that's were we'll go. Moving down two floors we find the first part of the dungeoun. Where the kitchen is.

There are pots and pans and giant cockroaches. Cookbooks, herbs and kirbysaurs. All the things you'd expect and more besides. But, no Ranma.

A little bit below the kitchen, we find a marsh filled with unspeakable horrors and since they're unspeakable, I won't speak of them. Suffice to say, there's no Ranma here either.

Below that is the ghosts and the spiders domain. Populated by, typically, ghosts and spiders. It's a place of clickety-clackety running around the corridors, whoshing noises, gray stone, lots of gray stone, whining, shining, darkening (and a lot of other things ending with -ing) and spider webs. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending, Ranma isn't here either.

Finally and most ceartanly least, is the mages quarters. Every wall in every room has ten shelves, all filled to the brim with grimoires and beakers (filled themselves by different-colored potions), toy sized inventions, leaflets from spell'R'us, amulets stacked like pog bricks and whatever else you could imagine being on a shelf in a wizards home.

In one of the rooms (a little bit to the left and a far way up if you have a map of the castle in front of you) Ranma and Ryo-chan were tied up on two seperate stretcher-tables.

Ranma was lying there unconscious. Even though she was tied up, limbs akimbo in all directions, she looked restful and at peace. Now Ryo-chan on the other hand. He was fully awake and strangling to get himself lose. It actually looked kind of funny. The little black pig bounced on the wood many times, appearing to the common bypasser as a bouncing black ballon with two stings going through it. The blue napkin had fallen to the floor.

-He e eheh e eh he ehe e It's time to see what the orc dragged in! I can't wait to see how he took my new potion. The most beautiful indeed. Anything beautiful to him must be hideous to me!

Around the corner he came. He held his glasses in his left hand, searching for the light switch with the other. He soon found it and with a flickering the light went out. The only light left was from the crown with four now glowing stones on the skinny wizards head.
-Oops! I seem to need my spectacles today. Oh what a pain. I wish I could have fixed this. Such is the prize you pay for ultimate knowledge.

He turned the light back on and put on his glasses.
-Much better! Now I want to see wh...
His eyes caught the sleeping beauty in front of him.
-Oh my Go...
He rushed up to the table.
-It's a...
He took a step back.
-This can't be...
His hands shoot into his pockets. (Wich amazingly apppeared out of nowhere)
-I have to make a memory of this.
He took out a little yellow papper box and put it in front of his eyes.
-There! Now what to do about her?
He carefully slithered closer. Wary of waking her.
-If the master gets to know about this he'll fry me.
Quickly closing his eyes, he mumbled a few incomprehensible words. Below him, he felt a spider die.
-There. Now to untie her.
He hurriedly loosened the knots and slid them off.
-Can't have such a beauty in bonds can we?
-Nope. She answered and kicked him in the head.

Ranma repeated the procedure on her pet pig and scooped him up in her arms. She jumped over the body and ran out of the room. The next room was filled with books. The room after that had medallions on the walls. They soon became a blurr as she ran though them.

One left, two right and a lot to the left, she found the stairs leading up. She paused for a bit but started walking.

--
At this moment outside the castle, no-one howled, no-one rustled in the bushes, no-one ran up to the castle and no-one opened the doors. And all of this was alright because, no-one heard it.
--

Iruka felt grumpy. "auntie Ranma", his favorite grownup when he was a kid, had gotten lost. She hadn't even bothered to let him know where she'd go.

He walked away from the stairs, towards a door right in front of him. He hadn't even got there before the door started to open. Unfortunately, he was in his own little world at the moment and so, smacked right into the door as it opened.

-I'm sorry! A girl in a tightfitting maids-outfit looked sadly down at him.

-No problem. He answered.

-I didn't know...
Iruka looked at her questioningly.
-Have we met before?

-I don't think so...
She let the answer draw out until it finally just hanged there, a question in itself.
-You're Ukyou, right?
She stepped back an inch and put her hand on her bussom, acting very amazed.
-How did you know?
In responce, he grinned widely and got up.
-I get around.

-Oh really? Where?
He gestured vaguely with his arm.
-Urm... I don't really know actually.
-Want me to show you around here then. The smile on her lips was almost feral.
Iruka nodded dumbly.
-Just follow me.
Ukyou walked around the door and like a happy puppy, Iruka followed.

--

Right around now Ranma and Ryo-chan should be wading through a march, with several spiders tracking them. As I find that a rather boring concept I'm going to skip ahead to where they're done with that.

*Whhhiirrr*

Ranma breathed heavily. This was the last straw. She took careful aim and ran head-on through the big double doors. She arrives in the room with the strange clock-design on the carpet.

-Alright you! I've beaten all your underlings, I demand that you let us go,

The black chair turned around and in it sat _Ranma_.

-I am afraid that I cannot...
(Okay so that was to far ahead. A little bit bak then.)

*Whhhiirrr*

She smirked and klapped Iruka hard on the back.
-I thought that we'd never get rid of her.
-But...
-Liven up a little. It wasn't that bad.
-You...
-Be a little bit grateful bow.
-She...
-Yeah, so what.
-Eat me...

Ranma shook her head and dragged Iruka along with her.
-Woss.
(A bit more...)

*Whhhiirrr*

Ranmas jaws fell to floor as she witnessed Shampoo unscrew her head ands tip
herself over to let the shampoo trickle out.
(nope)

*Whhhiirrr*

-There is no way that I'm eating that. Ranma pushed the plate away from her.

-Unh! The pigheaded man pushed it back.
-Unh? He pleaded.

Ranma sighed and took a piece of the pigslop to try and put in her mouth. She didn't get to however. Ryo-chan had already bitten down on the spoon.
(Again)

*Whhhiirrr*

Ranma walked past the corner and saw, Ryouga??
Ryouga turned around showing a face that not even Akari could love.
-Ryouga, man what have they done to you?

Eyouga led her to a table and put a
-Akane cooked this right?
-Unh. He nodded.

-Man, I feel sorry for you.
Ryouga nodded again but continued with eating motions.

-There is no way that I'm eating that.
(hrm...)

*Whhhiirrr*

She jumped through the spiders web and threw a Moko Takabisha at the huge spider guarding her way.

-Whhoooooo!
Ranma scanned her surroundings quickly.
-What was that?

A white blurr moved through her, like a fog with a mind.
(Where is the end of the march?)

*Whhhiirrr*

-What?

-Here. He pointed at a bit of text below the picture.
-It says, hrmhrm,
"And beware the midnight hour when monsters strike at thee.
For in my castle midnight means a dussin deaths times three."

Ranma snorted, looked warily at the picture and continued on her way.
(Oops, to far back.)

*Whhhiirrr*

...and Iruka watched the hand move. Slowly, it krept past ten. Soon it would start on eleven. Soon, it would be twelve.
*Tick tock*
They waited.
*Tick tock*
The air seemed to grow thicker.
*Tick tock*
He could feel the presense closing in, almost like a cat moving for the kill.
Drrrrrrr...
-We can't stay lik th...
*Ding Dong*
-You're right we haf...
*Ding Dong*
Without wasting any more time, they ran out of the ballroom. They swerved around the left doorway-wall and skipped/jumped down the stairs.
*Ding Dong*
(That was too far again)

*Whhhiirrr*

Iruka screamed in pure terror.
-Now, now precious. Don't disturb my meal now.
The halls filled with clickety-clackety as the spider moved closer.
-I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die...

-Be quiet meal. Taste well. That's all you have to do.
Ukyous voice rang in his head.

It did more than that, she stood beside them saying it again.
(Yeesh. I never liked that part.)

*Whhhiirrr*

The black chair turned around and in it sat _Ranma_.
(Urm... let's just go on from here, okay?)

-I am afraid that I cannot do that. Feeding time starts at twelve and I'm sure that the ones you thought you killed will find you an interesting meal.

Iruka pointed to the clock on the floor and gulped.
It had started moving.

-Impressed? It was my own design, as beautiful as can be and rigthly so since it's the last thing of beauty you'll see in this world.

Ranma and Iruka watched the hand move. Slowly, it krept past ten. Soon it would start on eleven. Soon, it would be twelve.
*Tick tock*
They waited.
*Tick tock*
The air seemed to grow thicker.
*Tick tock*
He could feel the presense closing in, almost like a cat moving for the kill.
Drrrrrrr...
-We can't stay lik th...
*Ding Dong*
-You're right we haf...
*Ding Dong*
Without wasting any more time, they ran out of the ballroom. They swerved around the left doorway-wall and skipped/jumped down the stairs.
*Ding Dong*
Ranma rolled to the side as she landed, letting Iruka thunder down the last steps.
-Were should w...
*Ding Dong*
-No time. She cut off, grabbing his arm
*Ding Dong*
Krashing through the window they got out of the castle.
*Ding Dong*
-YAAAAAaaaaahh!
*Ding Dong*
The monsters collected at the windows, watching them fly.
*Ding Dong*
-THAT WON'T HELP. MY FOLLOWERS AREN'T BOUND BY THE WALLS OF THIS...
*Ding Dong*
Ranma turned to Iruka.
-Ca...
*Ding Dong*
-...ke us away rom here?
*Ding Dong*
He nodded and they became a ball of light. Shooting upwards to the sky.
*Ding Dong*
The air staled. No sound was heard. Everything was still.
No-one laughed and no-one followed them.
--
Authors word:
@_@ Finally. The last chapter in the first book is finished. To commemorate the moment I've made another poem.

A yarn of tall tales
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^
I dream of reality.
As real as mine is.
A place full of horror.
And of beautiful dreams.

Where panda turns 'to man and man into pig.
Where my gender is switched and I'm bound by a word.
Where sweetsmiling tomboys feed toxic to me
and the cats of this world try to drag me away,
I know I should wake up, but...
                    ...I want to stay.
^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^
This has been (and will be for quite some time) a labour of love [$_$]. To huge to imagine and to wierd to take seriously. It is a good thing that I can write this thing to relax instead of, as with the other things I'm writing, to work my way through thick walls of frustration just to get them from the plot-bit to the final stage.
(just as with this last one actually)@_@

^_^ I am greatful to everyone who wrote to me and said they liked it. To one who gave "tips" on how I should write. (Sledgehammer-method) And to Freemage who stores all of this on his webpage.

^_^ Thank You All!

/._/. And now for the guest.
-What a frightful mess! If you'll excuse me, I simply must clean up a bit here.

/._.\ Urm... Sure, go ahead. But stay away from my pile-of-notes(tm)

-This desk needs a good going through.

(.)_(.) NOOO! Not my computer.

*Fwoomp*

-I'm sorry, I couldn't see it for all the papper bits on the desk.

.\_/. THOSE WEREN'T "PAPPER BITS" THOSE WERE MY PILE-OF-NOTES(tm). You, you GHAAAARGHH!

-Oh my!

-------------
I don't think.
I write!

______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com