Jed M Bidwell <Jedediah@tri-countynet.net> wrote:

       Well, that's Issue Five. I'm a bit worried about my character
representations, especially since issue four was completely ignored by the
FFML at large.

Don't make me get out all those "Tips on Getting More C&C" posts
again.... ^_^

       How'd I do?

Well, from where I sit you were doing fine until you brought in the
super-costume. It wasn't just the ad-hoc plot deviceish way in which it
was introduced; that, I could handle. It just seems too early for such a
development. We still haven't finished exploring the possibilities for
Gos as the Lee/Dikto Spiderman; he still has to deal with the Kingpin,
with the other Nerimites, and lots of other stuff. I wanna see how he
does at controlling himself with this level of power before moving on to
other things. I'm sure there are a lot of good character development
possibilities with the black costume, but it's just too soon.

Nabiki's reaction to Gos seems a bit off. I'm not sure why she's
concerned with his disappearance at all. If she was, no way would she
let him insult her and get the better of her like that. "I'm sorry to
inform you, Hikaru-chan, that your seventy-five hundred yen equipment
deposit is forfeit. Should've brought back that box of toothpicks that
you signed out."


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html