On Sun, 26 Sep 1999, KaraOhki wrote:

Vince,

After reading this, I came out of it with two things to say:

1.  As always, it was beautifully written, and kept me interested to
the end.

Well, that's something.  :)  Thanks!
 

2.  I can't accept the Kasumi/Taro matchup.  At least not yet.  It
seemed to come out of the blue, without enough reason to make me want
to accept it.  I think this part of the chapter needs work, or
expansion, or something!  Kasumi wanting not to be alone isn't
enough...

Well, neither I nor they have accepted it, either; it's just a possibility
at this point.  That said, what about the matchup is implausible to you? 
What are the most important reasons that Kasumi has to reject Taro, and
vice-versa? Do I need to stress that Kasumi finds Taro physically
attractive, or show that there are aspects of his personality and behavior
she finds interesting? 

Thanks for the comments!

Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
CSUS hired me to build their LANs, not to give away the homeworld.