And now, a word from our sponsors:


[Scene: Interior, staff room-day. A rather frail but pretty
looking young woman in a nice business suit is distributing
coffee at a business meeting. She's almost trembling under the
weight of the tray of cups as she carefully hands them out to
the all-male executives surrounding the long staff table.

The executives don't even know she's there. They're too busy
talking business to really notice her presence. She's doing a
hard, unappreciated job, but she's serving her time in the
trenches in the hope that one day she can work her way into one
of the executive positions.

As she nears the head of the table, one of the executives, a
rather nasty looking, leering, older man pats her bottom as she
places coffee in front of him.

She jerks at the pat, which is almost a squeeze. Startled and
stunned by the harassment, she drops the tray with a loud
clatter. Scalding hot coffee goes flying *everywhere*, covering
both our heroine, the CEO and all the chief executives with the
exception of the bottom-patter. The villainous executive looks
at her angrily.]

Leering Executive: Can't you do anything right, Chioko?

[Chioko looks down in shame and loss of face. A smooth, low
male voice begins to speak:]

Tuxedo Kamen (V.O.): Life is seldom fair. You can try your
hardest and achieve nothing if you are working against forces
more powerful than you. There is something *you* can do to even
the odds, though.

[Scene: Interior, dark creepy castle-night. Tira and Chocolate
Misu from 'Bakaretsu Hunters' are facing off against a well-
dressed, foppish looking sorcerer.]

Tuxedo Kamen (V.O.): There are those in life who are controlled
and there are those who *take* control...

[Tira and Chocolate 'transform', whipping off their cloaks and
going into full 'Queen' mode with the accompyaning dramatics
and colorful crossfades.]

Tira (cracking her whip back and forth): Ohohohohoh!

[Chocolate just snaps her steel cable at the sorcerer. Tira and
Chocolate go to town, 'punishing' the evil sorcerer. 

Quick Fade to next scene.

Scene: Exterior, forest-day. Yohko Mano and Azusa from 'Momano
Hunter Yohko' are walking along chatting amiably when a demon
leaps out of the bushes at them.]

Tuxedo Kamen (V.O.): There are those who are dominated, and
there are those who dominate...

[Yohko and Azusa go into their respective transformations.
After all the clothes are ripped off their bodies and Momano
Hunter outfits replace them in a shower of light, they begin to
shred the demon with sword and spear.

Scene: Exterior, Juuban High-day. A goofy looking youma is
draining students at random, causing havoc, doing damage,
disrespecting authority, etc...

Five young women run up and hold aloft their various wands and
pendants.]

Tuxedo Kamen (V.O.):There are those who are overpowered and
there are those who *take* that power back...

Ami (shouting): Mercury Star Power...

Rei (shouting): Mars Star Power...

Makoto (shouting): Jupiter Star Power...

Minkao (shouting): Venus Star Power...

Usagi (shouting): Moon Cosmic Power...

All five: MAKE UP!!!!

[Scene: Interior, staff room-day. Our heroine, Chioko, is
trembling in righteous rage and frustration. Her teeth and
fists are clenched.]

Leering Executive: Well, Chioko, what do you have to say for
yourself? How can we be expected to conduct business when you
are so incompetent?

Chioko (almost in tears): ....

Leering Executive: Well?

[Chioko looks up in anger and reaches into her breast pocket.
She produces a short, pink wand and holds it aloft]

Chioko (shouting): OFFICE LADY POWER, MAKE UP!!!!

Tuxedo Kamen (V.O.): Sometimes, the odds just have to be
evened.

[Swirls of light and dance music surround Chioko as she is
lifted off the ground by magical energy. She begins to spin and
her clothing disappears in a spray of light and glitter. New,
glowing clothing replaces what she had on before.

As the music dies away and Chioko's feet touch earth again, we
can see that she is wearing a pink version of her dress suit
that is much shorter and much tighter than what she was wearing
before. Her flats have been exchanged for pink heels and her
hair has turned a festive lime-green color. She is wearing
bright pink lipstick and has a glowing silver star on her
cheek, just under her left eye.

Magical Warrior Chioko begins to shout in accusation at the
leering executive]

MW Chioko (shouting): The office is a place to conduct business
and make money by providing useful services! You have defiled
that sacred contract with our customers by abusing your
employees. For this sin, I, Magical Warrior Chioko, cannot
forgive you!!!!

Leering Executive [confused]: Nani?

MW Chioko: CHIOKO KICK!!!!

[Magical Warrior Chioko dropkicks the leering executive's
groin. He falls over to one side in pain. The rest of the
executives grow *big* sweatdrops. Chioko smiles broadly.]

MW Chioko (cheerfully): Now, who else needed coffee?

[The room is filled with shaking heads and embarrassed
executives.

Scene: brightly colored background. Tuxedo Kamen is standing on
a featureless plain, addressing the camera. He is holding a
long-stemmed rose casually in one hand.]

Tuxedo Kamen: Crystal Tokyo Brand Henshin Wands, because every
woman needs a transformation sequence. You can take the
punishment, or you can dole it out. The choice is up to you!

[Tuxedo Kamen throws his rose into the ground and leaps out of
frame. Crossfade to a product shot of Crystal Tokyo Brand
Henshin Wand, next to its attractive pink packaging. Title in
lower half of screen: 'Because every woman needs a
transformation sequence...']


* * *

Did anyone cover this one already in the last round of
commercial fics?

C.


* * *

The Ranma 1/2 Gallery: 
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"...And though my incredible talent for violence frightens
even me, I know now that this is MY ONE TRUE DESTINY!!!"

- Jeffery (from Slayers: Jeffery's Knighthood)