Here's another bit of insanity that sprouted in my unnaturally 
fertile insanity...

     Disclaimer: I am not at this time, nor have I ever been, a member
of the Communist Party. However, I have been a member of several 
Theatre Cast parties, and more than a few Con parties...


                   A Stunning Development

     School ended at its usual time, a time marked by the traditional 
launching of Kuno into the wall of the school - or into the 
stratosphere, as the case by me - and the collection of various bets by

Nabiki. Rifling through her new collection of wonderful paper currency,

the middle Tendou daughter whistled herself home.
     A loud crash from the dojo caught her attention. It repeated 
itself, and she nodded. Akane was breaking bricks again, which means 
that she had probably knocked Ranma halfway to jubaan, then gotten 
angry at the thought that he might take the opportunity to go to Ukyou 
or Shampoo. Nabiki considered this proof that her little sister was 
still a little girl. A more mature young woman, like herself, would 
know not only that Ranma would do almost anything for Akane, but that 
he was also hopelessly clueless where the opposite sex was concerned, 
and probably needed a little talk about the birds and the bees, as old 
as he was. Her chances of becoming Ranma's sister-in-law were almost 
100%.
     "Oh, welcome back, Nabiki." Kasumi leaned out through the doorway 
of the kitchen, an oven mitt on one hand. "Could you do me a favor?"
     She considered charging her big sister, but couldn't bring herself

to do it. She didn't normally give freebies, even to family, but she 
could never refuse the eldest Tendou daughter. "Sure, oneechan. What do

you need?
     "I just finished a batch of cookies, and I was going to bring a 
plate out to Father and Mr. Saotome. Would you do it for me, so I can 
finish the rest of the batch."
     Soft thumping noises behind her prompted Nabiki to glance behind 
her. Sure enough, there was Genma Saotome, Ranma's father, in panda 
form. He seemed to almost spend more time in panda form than he did in 
human form. She had grown so used to seeing the huge black and white 
form, that she never even paid any attention to the sight. However, 
this time, something caught her eye. A detail too rich to ignore.
     After about an hour and a half, Ranma came squelching into the 
house, in his cursed form. It wasn't raining, so the old lady had 
probably ladled him with water again. Nabiki smiled, sensing the 
perfect time to make money, and really get at the elder Saotome in the 
process. "Oh, Ranma. Good. You and I have a business matter to
discuss."
     Before the negotiations began in earnest, however, Kasumi called 
them all to the table. Looking at the gathered family, she began again.

"Ranma, I have information that you may find worth the price. At 
whatever price we agree on."
     "Ohmf, yeah, sho whazzis inf'mshun abouf?" asked the pigtailed 
martial artist through a mouthful of yakisoba.
     "Honestly, Ranma. You shouldn't talk with your mouth full." Akane 
didn't seem angry anymore,  but was still mildly irritated.
     With a loud gulp, he swallowed the meat and vegetables that had 
been at war with each other in his mouth. "Right. So, Nabiki, what's 
this information about?"
     "About 5000 yen." She smiled, knowing her answer would annoy him 
to no end.
     "No, no, no. What am I getting information on?"
     "It appears that your father here has a dire secret he has been 
hiding from everyone in the entire household. Even you had no idea. And

it is a secret that has been hiding in plain sight." She directed a 
penetrating gaze at the panda, frozen in the middle of raiding Ranma's 
plate.
     Everyone's ears perked up at this, even, though no one else 
noticed but Nabiki, Kasumi's. "What sort of secret have you been 
keeping from us, Saotome?" asked Soun, his stern voice one of the few 
shadows of the bold martial artist that he once had been that remained.

     Genma pulled a sign from behind his back with is right paw, while 
sneaking another morsel of food from his son with the left. The sign 
read, 'I don't know, but I'll pay 8000 yen to keep it quiet!'
     Ranma jumped to his feet. "Ten thousand, Nabiki! I wanna know what

Oyaji has been keeping from me this time!"
     The sign flipped around. 'Fifteen thousand for your silence!'
     Ranma just stared at his father. All he had was the ten thousand, 
and that was squirreled away for future use. He wouldn't even admit to 
himself what that future use might be, but it was all he had.
     "Twenty thousand," chimed in a sweet, modulated voice. All eyes 
turned to Kasumi, as Genma dropped his sign. "Well, I do think I...er, 
Ranma has a right to know. Don't you, Akane?"
     "Me? er, well, yes, but..." 
     "well then. Twenty thousand, Nabiki." Kasumi stepped into the 
kitchen, and came back out with a large number of bills. Some were old,

some new, and some still had a little bit of perhaps mildly radioactive

okonomiyaki batter from Akane's last cooking attempt. Nabiki accepted 
the bills anyway.
     "Growf!" Genma bolted for the door, but was tackled from behind by

Ranma and Akane. 
     "You ain't gonna get away that easy, old man!" said the younger 
Saotome. "Alright, Nabiki, so what's his secret?"
     "Well, it seems..."
     "Yeah?"
     "...it seems..."
     "Yes, daughter?" piped in Soun.
     "...it seems..."
     "Oh, just get on with it!" blurted Akane.
     "Oh, alright. It seems that Mr. Saotome _really_ fell in..." she 
paused for dramatic effect,"...Spring of Drowned FEMALE Panda!" She 
finished her statement by pointing to the evidence at hand. Or not at 
hand, as the case may be.
     The crash from the resulting mass facefault was mistaken by many 
neighbors to be another Ranma-Ryouga fight, and thanked their lucky 
stars (and insurance agents) that there was no major property damage in

the morning.


- Valandar the Red of the Empty Tankard
    (who should really not stay up until 5:00 in the morning anymore -
those delerium dreams just stick with you the rest of the day...)
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Bid and sell for free at http://auctions.yahoo.com