From: <MercutioV@aol.com>

    Sigh, computer all shot to hell in something smaller then a bread
basket, less comfortable then a poke ball. After a rather touching rendition
of the death scene in Camille... it saw fit to lie there, being dead, in
that oh so annoying fashion of things that no longer live... <sniffle>

    Still, I got something to work, and since I promised myself I'd spend
some time today, reading other peoples work, and I seem to have lost my file
of Things Gary Wants READ Lest Yea Be Branded A Shiftless, Worthless
Pauper... guess I'll enjoy some Lain.

    Oh, please excuse any formating errors, this is NOT my usual e-mailer

present time
present day
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hmmm, I see Mark Hamill has landed another V/A job. Such bliss...

Serial Experiments Lain: The Wired.
-by Mercutio.

It had begun as a fairly ordinary day for Iwakura Lain. Get up, wash, eat,
put silly hat on, walk through weird bloodstained shadows to the train,
listen to the power transformer hum....... the basics.

    No down time in the bear suit? Calistenynics from her Bjork Milita guide
book? Zen Poohism as she becomes one with the Eaters of the Dead?

School was fairly usual as well. She handed in her homwework. The teachers
gave more homework. The circle of life continued.

    Some young moppet with too many curls began singing Aretha Franklin
style until a pride of Lions ambushed her...

<snip>

Then in fifth period, right in the middle of copying down math equations,

the

room suddenly decided to go on a psychedelix twisty fun whacky hyper

spinny

whirl while her fingertips spewed  white smoke into the air and the

teachers

voice became an odd, almost otherworldly cacaphony to her ears.

    Voice Over: We've secretly switched Lain's usual breakfast of coccoa
puffs and LSD with... Corn Pops... and LSD. Let's see if she notes the
difference.

    It's CEREAL experiment Lain!

<snip>

The strange sedan parked outside her house seemed to be empty today, Lain
noted absently as she made her way inside. That was good. She was

begginning

to tire of running in fear for no apparent reason.

        Least today she wouldn't get mugged by overzealous Saturn owners.

She reached for the door to her room, opened it, and stepped back in

surprise

as the tall, imposing black man (bald, she noticed absently) in the
trenchcoat and dark sunglasses looked down at her. He would have had to

have

been standing with his nose practically agianst the door.

    Sadly, the door opened inwardly... <WHAM>

"Huh-who are y-you?" she said nervously, taking a step backward, "H-how

did

you get in-inside....."

The man ignored her questions, instead taking a step forward to match the

one

she had taken back. His face loomed impressively above her, his stark
sunglasses glinting with reflected light.

He spoke.

    He shot... he SCORED!!!

"Do you wish to know of The Wired, Iwakura Lain?"

The Wired.

DID she wish to know of The Wired?

Well.......

    Damn, another kid with a magazine drive... goddess, how many
subscriptions to Wired, Maxim, PlayBear and Untamed Pokemon, Swimsuit
Extravaganza did one need?

Lain swallowed once, and nodded. "hai......" she said softly.

<snip>

What? You didn't think I'd actually LABEL my spamfics as such, do you?
Dedictaed to Matthew Lewis, from whom I stole this idea. And he said I

wasn't

this shameless....... ha!!!!!

    Dear ole' traveling Matt... now then, for AWA...

SE Lain belongs to whoever the hell owns it. Ditto for Morpheus and The
Matrix.
This was a Matrix rip, BTW.
In case you didn't get it.

    Got it, though some Keanu isms would have been fun. Maybe Lain getting
rather glassey eyed and going... "Whooah!" There could have been a bit more
fun with the concept I think. The payoff is too... well, possible to be
honest, for it to make much of an impact, so you need more time playing
around with the world itself. Just my thoughts of course, all in all, very
funny ^_^

    This is the second enjoyable humorous spamfic I've read about Lain,
almost getting to be it's own subsection... Sasami Lemons, Nabiki Gaijin's,
Lina Inversely Proportional, Pokemon Yaoi... hokay, maybe not that last
one... yet.

    Nope, not a challenge, more of a threat ^_-