I hope you don't mind if i review this.  :)  If you do....gomen and blame 
Kenji-kun.  I don't know why yet but it is always his fault. :)

Revolutionary Mistakes

M A Davis / Miko

Characters and concepts from Revolutionary Girl Utena are
copyrighted and not my property, used for the purposes of this
nonprofit fanfiction story only.  And... my apologies to the creators.



       "I never thought it would end like this," Kiryuu Touga said.

       The members of the student council of Ohtori Academy, plus
one non-member, stood in a semi-circle on the dueling arena
platform.  A breeze rustled the leaves of the forest around them.
Here, in the secret, forbidden forest in back of the school, they had
witnessed and participated in so many duels.  Here, apparently,
they had witnessed their last duel.

       Grief and shock were etched on their faces.  Arisugawa Juri
looked on, sadly, but somewhat impassively as well.  Kaoru Miki
held his hand to his mouth in disbelief.  Saionji Kyouichi's face
was flushed with anger.  He looked ready to explode.

       "I'm sorry," Tenjou Utena said.  "I... I'm new to this.  I didn't
realize...."

       Saionji took a step forward, but council president Touga held
up a rose-ringed hand.  "No," he said.  "It was an accident."

       "But the Rose Bride..." Saionji began.

       "Yes," Touga replied, "but there was no way for Tenjou
Utena to know.  Perhaps, if we had explained things more clearly,
this might not have happened."

       "Without the Rose Bride," Juri said, "How will we
revolutionize the world?"

       The others looked again to where  Himemiya Anthy lay, in a
spreading pool of blood.

       "I'm sorry," Utena said again.  "I just assumed, that since the
sword came out of her breast, that when I was done...."



FINI

Okay, my over all review.  The wake up scene adds a nice touch.  I could 
tell at the beginning you had a great idea of where you were going and 
toward the end, maybe through too many suggestions or too many ideas, you 
lost the beaten path.  In the end, this may be good but you'd have to spend 
more time in your planning phase to find out if this new path is for you.  
With the exception of the porn scene, I like the way you presented the 
story.  There is an extreme verbiage issue at several points in the story 
and your grammar causes major comprehension problems.  Sometimes you have to 
get to the point quicker and other times walk slowly to take in the full 
view.
I love this by the by.  I am still crying from the humor.  Brief and to the 
point too.  LOL!

Mallet scale:  the more mallet's you have the better the work, I think. :)  
With a average mallet scale of 3 or more, I might actually MST the work. 
:):)

5 mallet (excellent presentation.  Your insults were perfect, I couldn't 
have done better but you've been knocked into LEO)
4 mallets (great understanding, one more insult and it might have been 
excellent.  Definitely a hospital trip.)
3 mallets (you insulted me enough to get my attention.  For that I had to at 
least pound ya for sticking around long enough to pound ya.)
2 mallets (unclear and not organized.  you might have been insulting me but 
I totally missed it.  The look you gave me warranted a knock on the head or 
two, though.)
1 mallet (um, extinguish the fire of your work and start over.  I beg 
ya...for humanities sake.  I never even heard you calling out my name.    I 
hit you for just being pathetic)

Plot: 5 mallets
Grammar:  5 mallets
Punctuation: 5 mallets
Characterization:  5 mallets
Creativity:  5 mallets
Avg:  5

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