Author's Notes- Hello.  This is the first fic (well, poem) I've ever posted 
here, so if I do something horrible outlandishly wrong, please correct me.  
This poem is based on the character Infurita from El Hazard.  The OVA, not 
the TV series.  I hope that you enjoy it, and if you don't then foo on you.  
*blink* Did I just say that?  I must be more tired then I thought... Oh, a 
slight warning, my poetry has a tendancy to be rather depressing.  This is 
more light then what I usually write, but what I usually write is really 
dark, so that ain't saying much.  OK, I've babbled on long enough


The Monster I Am

For hope to spring eternal
I must kill my sense of self
You say that I am innocent
That others will see that
But you can't see me as I do.

I look in the mirror
And all I can see
Of my own body
Is a pair of eyes

The rest of my body is covered
In dark ash and wet blood
All that remain of countless
Civilizations destroyed by ME!
And in those eyes is fire
That which destroyed
The final traces of those lands
Killed by ME!
If I cannot forgive myself
How can the people?

I love you for freeing me
But I hate you as well
For while before then
I understood death
Understood pain and loneliness
But never before had I realised
The monster I truly am
         -Deirdre Winter 08/05/1999


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