Subject: Re: [FFML] {Dominion}Just A Night on the Town
From: miashara
Date: 8/1/1999, 1:16 AM
To: Platinum Dragon
CC: ffml@fanfic.com
Reply-to:
miashara@geocities.com

Very nice. There was good characterization though the dialogue didn't
flow as well as it could have. I recomentd you use ellipses only when
you're leaving something out, not to represent a pause. You suffered
through overuse of them. 
The action was good. I'm not sure how the spider tank could have cut up
all those men like that but it's anime and laws of physics be damned.

Miashara