JJ Corley wrote:

Mai-Jitsu - Vigilante

     The woman cried, broken. Her husband lie in her arms, dead. His

"lay".  That's not a very smooth way of writing the first couple of
sentences.

killer towered above her, the barrel of the odly shaped weapon still

"oddly"

smoking from its single, ill-fated discharge. 

I dunno.  Sounds to me like the discharge worked just fine.  

His laughter echoed across

the dark alleyway, scattering the silence before it like a shark
scatters a school of fish.

Don't repeat "scatter".  Perhaps, "like a school of fish, frightened
by a shark."

     The insane laughter shriked into a high cresendo as the man pointed

"shreiked", "crescendo"

the weapon at her. She bowed her head, waiting for death to claim her,
as it had her beloved.

     A single shot rang out, an electric blue beam of death speeding to
its errand.

     A bright flash of red light intrupted the surrounding night; the

"interrupted"

man�s laughter stopped.

I find this description of what happened to be inadequate.  

*
Eleven Months Later
*

     Mae woke from her fitful slumber, reaching to where her husband
should have been. There lies, instead, her saviour from that night;

"lay"

awake, even now, in his eternal vigilance.

     Blue trench coat. Matching fedora. Glasses so dark the word black
is inadaquite. Shade armor. These were the things that defined the

"was inadequate"

insubstantial man from a different world who had become closer to her
than her husband.

    Jiyuu stirred, his senses noticing her mood. He wrapped himself
around her, fusing with her, lending her his strenght and support. The

"strength"

two became one.

     The being known as Mai-Jitsu frowned. It knew the feeling of loss.
The two individuals that composed it had more in common than they
realised. No matter. It melded with the shadow and reapeared before the

"reappeared"

bedroom window. The city below was a hive of sin and depravity. And
somewhere in it was the man Mae and Jiyuu sought.

     The man that killed Mae�s husband, Shiro; the man who shattered her
life, forced her into circimstances beyond her control.

     The man that decieved Jiyuu, and forced him to destroy his own life
in the search for the truth. The man that he had hunted for one hundred
years, through twelve dimentions to execute.

"dimensions"

    Gyaku Uso.

    The being�s low bass rumble intoned a phrase.

    �For each truth has its opposing lie.�
--------------------
Notes:
Character names:

Mae � before
Jiyuu � freedom
Mai-Jitsu � each truth
Gyaku Uso � opposing falsehood

    Based on the phrase: �Before freedom can truly be attained, each
truth must be weighed with its
opposing falsehood.� �unknown

    I urge anyone who wishes to jump in and take over. Otherwise, I�ll
keep at it for a bit. Too many flames and I�ll send this to the recycle
bin. Too many comments and my ego will swell to unpresidented levels. Oh
joy.

     Will write for C&C. Send it, onegai!
--------------------
 -JJ Corley
Probably the biggest unspoken fan of MCFF Ultra there was.