All comments strictly my opinion and offered in good spirit, just like
yours.  :)

For the full scoop, read the previous parts at
http://www.dougmacd.net/fanforks/

http://www.dougmacd.net/fanworks/

But nice HTML save.  :)

  Ranma 1/2     "The Nature of the Curse"
 Hard Battle    Story by Douglas MacDougall

   Part 12      The Proof is in the Pupil

    "When the hell is Pop getting home?"  There was nothing left to
watch on TV, and Ranma was getting tired.  As he lay on his side, with
his legs under the low-set dinner table, he wondered how much longer he
would he be able to avoid going to bed?  Leaning over, he hit the power

longer he would be able to avoid going to bed.  {?}

button on the television and sat up.

{I wonder how many TVs he's demolished that way.  :) }

 Glancing outside, he didn't see
the tent Ryoga had set up in the yard.

{suggest} He glanced outside, but he couldn't see {as that implies that
he knew it was there, which seems to be the case.}
 

    He beat his head on the table.  What was he thinking?  That was the
absolute last thing he wanted to do!  His immediate fear was putting him
on edge, and making him forget Ryoga's stupid story.  Akane would kill
him if she found out he'd crawled into Ryoga's tent!

{Hey, he could get lucky: she could clobber Ryoga. What do you think?
Outrage or jealousy? :) }

    The past few days, his mother had been all too willing to change in
front of him.  He knew she thought it was manly to peep, but this was
just a little too weird, even for her.  It was like she wanted him to
look at her.  He shivered at the thought.  With the old man gone, there
was no way he had wanted to be alone with her when she put on her little
show.  Fortunately, it looked like he had been spared.

{I'm not sure what's going on with Nodoka; my own feeling is that this
is a bit over-the-top even for her, but not far enough that I'm going
to make an issue of it.}
 

    Uh oh.  She might have already changed, he still had to.  Did she

{suggest} changed; he

want to watch HIM take his clothes off?  "B- But, my favorite ones are
in the laundry."

    Nabiki threw open her door and muttered, "What's with all the noise,
you people?  Some of us are trying to sleep!"  She looked in either
direction and saw first Akane, then Nodoka in some sort of staring
contest.  Small smiles almost imperceptibly grew on their faces.  Then
they simultaneously turned around, with Nodoka stepping into her room,
and Akane walking back down the hall into her own.

{uh... (sweatdrop) OK, I missed something, and I have no idea what it
is.}
 

    "How many times did you sleep with Ryoga?"

    Ah.  The nightmares were going to come before unconsciousness,
tonight.  "Wh- What?"

{Nice line.}

    It was just as well that he never found out that Ranma had snuggled
next to him in the middle up the night.  Hell, he'd never find out if
she had anything to say about it.  Becuase the worst part of it was,

Because

she'd been a guy at the time!

    Akane...  Sometimes he understood Akane.  Maybe it was because she
was a 'sometimes' martial artist.  He understood her when she was angry,
or wanted to fight.  Half the time he insulted her so she'd get riled up
and start acting like the Akane he knew.

{Yup.}
 

    "Uh..."  Embarrassed, Ranma glanced at Akane and the woman ladling
water out onto her steps.  He'd been walking right towards the woman,
and Akane had been trying to steer them away.  "I guess I got things on
my mind."

    She frowned at him momentarily, annoyed either at him or maybe about
getting wet.  "You're acting really weird, you know."

    Ranma tried his best to control the coughing fit that followed.

{Oh, the injustice of it all...  Nice setup.}

Fire hydrants.  Pipes.  Small children with water pistols.  Everywhere I
go in this city it's like someone or something is trying to splash me.
I won't have time to pull out the umbrella and open it while still in
time to avoid getting wet, so I'm just keeping it out and opened."

{suggest just} open it to avoid

    "Didja fall into one of the springs?"

    "No."

    "Oh.  Were you pushed?"

{*guffaw*  Oh, very nice.}

    Akira stopped short.  "What?"

    "Were you pushed in?

    "No, I--"

    Didja jump?"

"Didja
 

    "No!  What are you--"

    "Baptized in one of the pools?"

{heh!}

    "Who on Earth would...?  NO!  None of those things.  You don't live
and work by Jusenkyo without learning how to avoid the springs.  It's a
survival skill."

{Except for Mousse.  And Herb.  I guess they're special.  :) }

    "Hey, yeah."  And Ranma wasn't.  AND Akane had her elbow crooked
around Ranma's.  What was up with that?  "Hey, RANMA!"  Hiroshi
bellowed and waved to his friend (and sometimes-babe).

{I think the usage would be "sometime babe", but I'm not sure.}

    Akane let go of Ranma arm and spoke to him. "I'm going to go to my

Ranma's

locker to get some spare clothes.  I'll see you in a bit, okay?"

    The pigtailed boy whirled on him.  "You!  Thanks to you, Akane
thinks I'm some sort of pervert!"

    Startled, Akira stepped back.  "What?"

    Hiroshi titled his head in confusion.  "Akane's always calling you a
pervert, Ranma.  Why's it suddenly such a big deal?"

{Ow.  GOOD shot!}

    Ranma growled, "Nothing."  Akira just squirmed in the air.

{That must look really funny -- Akira's significantly taller than Ranma,
yes? I love the mental image.}

    "What's the big deal, then?"  Hiroshi eyed his friend warily.  He
couldn't recall ever seeing him so worked up.  Usually nothing could
faze the guy.  Well, that wasn't really true, but he never got mad.
He'd just happily beat up the source of his problems.

    Where was Kuno, anyway?

{*rimshot*}

    Ranma finally replied, "Akira thinks that the curse affects my
head."

    "But it does!  You only think-- ulk!"  Akira's rebuttal was stopped
short by a quick shake from Ranma.  Hiroshi thought could hear the

thought he could

fabric of Akira's jacket start to rip under the strain.

    "And," added Ranma, "He says that it's affecting my head so that I
don't REALISE that its affecting my head."

it's
 

    Hiroshi blinked, trying to make sense of what Ranma was saying.
"What do you mean, affects your head?"

    A slightly dazed Akira raised his finger.  "He thinks like a g--"
Another strong shake silenced him.  This time Hiroshi was sure he head

heard

a tearing noise.

    Akira woozily lifted an arm and said, "R- Ranma."  His head bobbed
about, and his glasses were no longer on straight.  Ranma flicked his
arm again, whipping Akira for the third time.  The strain was too much
for the collar, which ripped off of Akira's jacket, causing the taller
boy o fall on his butt.  Dark threads wisped away from the piece of

to

fabric and backing now held in Ranma's hand.

    Ranma frowned and tossed the collar aside.  He stepped over towards
Akira.

    "wait."  Akira wobbled.  "Wait.  WAIT!  Ranma!"  He covered his
head, crossing his arms in front of him.

{huh? Isn't that an odd reaction for a guy whose head is tougher than
his arms?

    Hiroshi laughed lightly, "Well, it's not like it makes you think
you're a girl or anything!"

    Ranma twitched.

    "Right?"  He continued to laugh, although more uneasily.  No one
else was laughing with him.  Where was Daisuke, anyway?  "Uh..."

{Oh, my.}

    Akira finally cleared his got, got up, and said, "Hey, Ranma.  Is he

{"cleared his got"?}

your friend?  Does he know you?"

    "Hiroshi," asked Akira.  "Have you ever known Ranma to act...

{suggest} "Hiroshi," asked Akira, "have you

differently, when he's cursed?

cursed?"

    "Y- You honestly think..."  He started to chuckle, "That Ranma, Mr.
Macho, really turns into a girl?"  He almost fell over, laughing.  "I
can't believe it!"

{The setup...}
 

    Of course, if what Akira was suggesting were true, then maybe...
Wouldn't it be worth finding out?

{Aiya.}

    "Forget it, Tsu.  Just admit you're wrong, for once.  You can't just
come sauntering in here and claim you know everEEE!"  A splash of cold
water later, and Hiroshi was hugging Ranma from behind, fondling her...

{Suggest omitting either "later" or "and", your choice.}

upper torso.

{...and the payoff!  Nice.}

    As he said the words, he flicked the tip of her chest, causing Ranma
to stiffen.  "Hmm, these should get hard."  He rubbed his fingers along
her thin shirt, feeling her...

{Clearly this is not from experience.  The wrong sort of books, perhaps?}

    "I'll 'woman' you!"

    Daisuke helpfully supplied, "Don't you mean 'un-man'?"

    Hiroshi turned and whimpered, "Dude!  SHUT UP!"

{LOL!}

    "What is WITH you people?  Why does everyone want to feel me up?!?
I'm almost used to Happosai.  But Ryoga!  And you!"  She was breathing
heavily, tightening her grip on Hiroshi.  The heat of her battle aura
was singeing his shirt, and making him sweat profusely.

shirt and
 

    Daisuke blinked.  "I..."  Ranma wheeled on him.  Those couldn't
possibly flames in her eyes, right?  If there were really flames they'd

pissibly be flames  {...}  If those were

evaporate all the liquid in her eyeballs and they'd bulge and holycrap.
"I'llbegoingnowbye."  He scrambled off in the same direction Hiroshi

{Suggest "scurried".}

had gone flying.

    Akira swallowed, looking around.  There was only one male left in
the area for the redhead to vent upon.

{Insert ominous music...}

    "Well, I'll be able to gauge that for myself, now won't I?"  The
other boy leaned away from Ranma's challenging gaze, but the lenses of
his glasses ended up reflecting the morning sunlight into Ranma's face.
"All I need are some photos."

    "Set of five, only one thousand yen."

{LOL!  Oh, excellent timing.}

    "Ya!"  Akira leapt back three feet, drawing everyone's attention.
"Wh- Where did you come from?"

    Amusement spread across Nabiki's face.  "Why I'm always there to

"Why, I'm

help people in need," she purred.  "How about it?"

    He looked at the photo again.  If was from months ago, when he had

It was from {or perhaps} It had been taken

been trying to get Happosai to release his battle aura, so he could
defeat him with the hiryu shoten ha.  "I-- I destroyed all these!"  He

{suggest}  Hiryu Shoten Ha  (well, I capitalize it, anyway...}

glared at Nabiki.

    "I have ACCESS to one," she clarified.  "Meet me at the nurse's
office after school, gentlemen, and you'll have your gizmo."

    "What's it gonna cost," asked Ranma warily.

cost?"

    "I DON'T want to know!  Geez, do you have some kind of death wish?

wish?"

    Hiroshi smiled.  "Why, I think this is something all the boys would
want to know about."

    "..."

{Aiyaaaa.}

    She responded before he had even finished talking, "That's great!"
Now for business.  "And have you managed to free my sister and the pig-
tailed girl from 'sorcerer Tsu,' yet?"

Tsu' yet?"

    "Ah yes, the new student.  But why do you call him a sorcerer?  Even
you must recall that it is Saotome who holds my two beloveds?"

beloveds."

    Nabiki's jaw hung open.

    "Indeed, you were the one who told me of his magical spell that
binds the pig-tailed girl's body and soul."

{Long, long ago, in a high school far, far away...}
 

    Akira moved to block her view again.  "I won't need you're help with

your

Kuno.  We've...  Come to an understanding on our own."

come

    "He quickly flipped through them, separating them into two piles.

He

    Nabiki though about it.  Fifty photos of different men.  It would

thought

actually be somewhat difficult.  Guys wanted photos of anything with
curves, but the girls tended to fixate on just a few particularly
handsome or popular boys, the best example of which was Ranma.  Over
the years, however, she was sure she had picked up enough photos to
cover his needs.

{Uh oh.  She has photos of Ryoga, doesn't she.}

    "Three.  I'm already giving you five thousand for a rental"

rental."

    And even if she couldn't figure out how to make money off the fact
that Akira didn't know that Ukyo was a girl, Nabiki was sure she'd still
manage to get a great deal of enjoyment from it.

{Oh... my.}

    Ryoga blearily opened his eyes, and stared up at the ceiling of his
tent.  Glancing outside, he looked at the rising sun.  Judging from how
far it had climbed up the Southern sky, it was at least eight or nine in

southern  (this, on the other hand, I don't capitalize...}

the morning.  He'd really slept in!  Yawning, he stretched himself out
of his sleeping bag.

    Getting up, he found his backpack and grabbed a bucket of
toiletries.  He clawed out of his tent, trying remember where he had set

{suggest} clawed his way out of his tent, trying to remember

up camp.

    He started to walk towards the building when he stopped himself.  It
was always these rash decisions that got him into trouble.  Glancing
back at the door in the wall, he noticed it did not have a roofing over

have roofing  {or}  have a roof

it.  And it was only a single door, rather than two large swinging
doors.

    Tendo Dojo
    Rear Entrance.  Enter here to fight owners in savage combat.

{heh. I always thought there wasn't a back door, and the sign was just
to make challengers REALLY savage... :) }

    The Martial Arts Dating Club

{Oh, is THAT what they call it!}

 of Furinkan high had not had the

High

opportunity to mass attack a cute girl ever since Ranma ended their

{suggest} mass-attack

symbols of affection to Akane.  Sure, there was that brief stint when

{suggest} demonstrations of affection

    However, they had some reservations about the one Hiroshi was
suggesting.  One boy spoke the thoughts of the others, "But, Ranma's

others: "But Ranma's

a BOY!"

    Others murmured agreement.

{suggest}  The others  {to resonate with "the others" in previous sentence}

    Hiroshi waved down the growing sounds of dissatisfaction.  Standing
on one of the benches in the locker room, he addressed the boys in his
gym class.  "I have reason to believe that Ranma has been hiding the
true nature of his curse from us this whole time.  New evidence has
come to light that Ranma's girl side, may in fact, be 100% girl!"

Ranma's girl side may, in fact, be 100% girl!"

    "We don't know for sure.  That's why we need you, the fine men of
the Dating Club, to find out.  We don't know what his girl-side's
preferences are, but I'm sure that among all of you, there must be one
that has the qualities she wants.

{Bets?}

    "What?"  She cowered before his intense, animalistic eyes.

    "Where...  Where is Tendo bathroom!?!"

{Heh.  Poor Ryouga.  :) }

    Startled shouts and squeals stopped the lessons short as water
sprayed down into the classrooms.  The teachers attmepted to maintain

attempted

order as the students held up backpacks or books to try and stay dry,
while rushing out of the building.

    One girl in particular had problems of her own.  Aside from the fact
that mere moments before she had been a boy, the male students were
starting to mull around her.  Akane and the other girls -- a group which

mill {? or perhaps} gather {or} swarm

included the petite Miss Hinako -- had already dashed outside, leaving
her behind with the boys.

    Ukyo scraped the top of her portable grill with one of her small
spatulas, thinking about what she had just done.  Or rather, hadn't
done.  She'd known about the boy's plan.  She could have tried to stop

boys'  {or maybe} Martial Arts Dating Club's

them.  Or at least tell Ranma.  A couple days ago, she would have told
him.

    Thinking about it, she felt she made the right decision not to try

she had made

to stop them by herself.  The boys looked rather... fervent, and
wouldn't have taken politely to dissent.  She had no desire to fight off
a school full of boys, as Ranma was now.

{suggest} was doing now.

    Ukyo couldn't help but grin.  "Well, ask whenever you're
comfortable; I won't bite."  Sayuri started to pay her for the food, but
Ukyo held up her hand.  "On the house.  You seem to be my only customer,
so it's not worth unlocking the money tray.  Besides, you've been good

been a good

friend, recently."

    Once again, all the girls had turned their back on her.  Or at

backs  {...} Or, at

least, were treating her differently.  All except Sayuri.  A little
free okonomiyaki was the least of the ways to thank her.

    "It got wet, too.  I'll dry off faster, this way."  She moved a
little closer the grill and put her hands over it, as if to draw in the

closer to the

heat.

    "Don't be shy; I can tell you want more."

{As the double-entendres fly thick and fast... :) }

 She poured some more
batter on the grill.  Sayuri started to reach for her change purse, when

{suggest} purse, but

Ukyo shook her head.  "Like I said, on the house."

    "R- Really?  You think I'm pretty?" Sayuri giggled.  Ukyo shook her
head gently while grinning.  She never really understood meek girls.
She'd tried to act that way herself a few times, but it always failed
miserably.  A girl should go after want she wanted.

what

    Ukyo turned her head to the side.  When her hair was long, the
gesture would have swept her mane about with a dramatic flair.  Of
course, nothing happened, now.  A little annoyed, she growled, "I cut
it, alright?  What do you want, anyway.  Wait!  Let me guess.  You need

anyway?

to find the Tendo dojo!"

    "We're already in the Tendo grounds.  I think it's transdimensional,
or something."

{LOL!}

    "Ryoga," explained Ukyo slowly, "We're not at the Tendos'.  This is

"we're

Furinkan High School."  Ever the consummate cook, Ukyo flipped Sayuri's
'yaki off the grill and onto her plate.  Not even a distraction like
Ryoga would make her burn food.  "Here you so, Sayuri-chan."

go,

    "I know were still at the Tendos'.  I stayed here overnight, and

we're

I've been trying to find the main building ever since.  I've seen the
Tendo gates at least four times, and always made sure not to go through
them, so I HAVE to still be inside."

    "Uh," interjected Ukyo, "That pig sounds like Akane's pet P-Chan.

P-chan.

He doesn't have rabies, and he's quite clean.  She says he's so clean
that she doesn't have to give him hot baths."

{snicker!}

    "Here's your double-pork," she said, handing Akira a plate.  "Eight-
hundred yen."

Eight hundred

    Akira pulled out the money and gave it to her, biting into his
food.  He chewed it and swallowed with a look of delight.  "I love pork.
Best way to get rid of the damned pigs."

{Is steam coming out of Ryoga's ears yet?  :) }

    Ukyo paused, "Huh?"

{suggest} paused.

    "Well that's not surprising.  It IS a horror movie after all.  But

"Well, that's  {...}  movie, after all.

why don't you see it with Yuka?  Or Akane?"

    "Th- Thanks.  So, will you come with me?"  Ukyo noticed that she was
fidgeting again, this time from nervousness.  "It's at eight o'clock, at
the Fountain Cinema," she hasilty added.

hastily

    "Great!  Thanks!"  Sayuri hopped up and clapped her hands together.
"I'll see you tonight!  Bye!"  She waved her hand and dashed off.

    Ukyo shook her head and finished closing down her grill.  She didn't
understand girls her own age.  What exactly did they go through when
they were growing up that she had missed?

{Ukyo's cluelessness, when the audience knows perfectly well what's
going on (or, at least, has a pretty good idea that may later turn out
to be mistaken :), is very original-flavor. Applause.}

    She had gone to the lockers in the separate gymnasium building to
get her clothes, leaving Ranma with the other boys.  Eventually the fire
department had turned off the sprinklers in the main building, and gave

building and given

the OK to go back in.  Of course, most of the other students had already
taken the opportunity to leave early for the day.

    She, however, was waiting for Ranma to finish whatever it was he was
doing with his friends outside.

{Generic mayhem?}

    While she waited, she thought she heard someone moving inside the
nurse's office.  There were voices, too, but she couldn't see who it
was through the frosted glass.

Suggest, to avoid number confusion:}

    As she waited, she thought she heard people moving inside the
nurse's office.  There were voices, too, but she couldn't see who they
were through the frosted glass.

    She frowned at him.  "What took you so long?" she asked.

    "Had to beat up every guy in school," he muttered.

    "Never took me that long."

{Zing!}

    Ranma stared at her wearily.  "Let's just get this over with."

{Ranma really is tired if he couldn't come up with a cheap shot at
Akane's relative attractiveness here. :) }

    The couple walked inside and glanced at the office.  Furinkan was
a pretty big school, but even so, its infirmary was especially large.

{Gee, I wonder why?  :) }

There was the main room that had a dozen beds, most of which could be
curtained off.  There a separate examination room, a bathroom,
janitorial room, an office proper, and a storage closet for bandages,
antiseptic, aspirin, and indigestion medicine.

    Or, as it was more commonly referred to: the self-serve cabinet.

{suggest} commonly known, the
 

    Akane almost suggested that he just spray himself directly from the
faucet (Happosai did it to him often enough), when another thought
distracted her.  "Hey, what do you mean, a normal girl like me?"

{Delayed-blast compliment!  Nice.  :) }

    "Ranchan!  Wow, imagine meeting you, here!"  Ukyo's head peered
around the door.

    "Ucchan, how's it going?  What brings you here?"  Ranma smiled.

{She was lying in wait, obviously.}

    "Ukyo came into the room, closing the door behind her.  I was

Ukyo  {...}  "I

looking for Akira, here."  She pointed at the boy, who was plugging
wires into the machine.  "I met him outside, and I just realized that
he wasn't wet, like everyone else.  I don't suppose you're the one who
set off the sprinklers?"

    "Oh.  Well, speaking of curses.  Akane, what's this I hear about--"

curses, Akane,

    "RANMA!  Akira suddenly shouted.  "We should get started.  If you

"RANMA!"

could lay down?  And Akane, stand by the polygraph?"

    Ukyo giggled, "Don't you WANT me to strap you down, Ranma honey?"

    "Wh- Wha?" gurgling noises came out of Ranma's throat.

Gurgling

    Akane hoped it was a joke.  Yeah, Ukyo wasn't into... bondage, or
anything weird like that, right?  She was a simple country girl.  Of
course, she did dress in boys clothing.  And bind her breasts.

{Woops. That's all the suggestion Akane needs to build a nightmare
scenario. :) }
 

    "Akane?"

    "Bindage?"  The world slipped out of her mouth.

{"bindage"?  Bondage?  Bandage?  /me is confused...}

    "Well, she said that she wanted to be present for the questioning,
but she didn't say she had to be there before we started...  he said

started..."

suggestively.

    "Alright!  Let's get started!"  shouted Ranma.  "Turn that polygram,
on, Akane!  Like the man said, it's Nabiki's own fault she late, and

she's

she didn't say that we HAD to wait for her."

    Akane frowned, but agreed.  "If you say so."  She flipped on the
machine, which hummed to life.  Little needles jumped to attention,
leaving parallel lines on the paper which scrolled underneath, and

underneath and

onto the floor.

    "You won't have to worry about me showing you a picture of a boy,
and then misinterpreting a SLIGHT change in the size of you pupils as a

your

sign of interest, or showing you a picture of a girl, and assuming a
change in the size of your pupils was just due to a small change in the
ambient light.  I won't know which photos are which, so I'll have to
make a judgement without any foreknowledge of what's on the photo."

{This makes so much sense that it's gotta violate some cardinal rule of
Ranma fanfic. :) }

    Ranma frowned, but did as she was told.  After a minute or two, her
eyes became adjusted to the light.  She felt like she was in some sort
of cheesy police movie, getting the third degree.  Actually, since Ukyo
was behind her, and Akane to the side, just of her peripheral vision,

just out of her

and the light darkened Akira's form, she felt eerily alone.

    She heard Akira shuffle the photos one last time, and placed them

place  {since Akira's doing the placing, not Ranma}

face-down on a table next to her legs.  "Now, before we start...  Had
you heard that the Principal is a really a hermaphrodite?"

    A strange noise came out of Akane, which Ranma couldn't identify.
>From behind, she heard Ukyo ask, "Uh, Ranma...?"

{Your mailer put a > in front of From, silly thing.}
 

    "I wonder, do you really believe that?  Or are you just saying it
now so as not to contradict yourself.  It's interesting that you didn't

yourself?

include yourself among guys when you first talked about them."

    Ranma really wanted to hit this guy.  Sure, he wasn't a martial
artist, and he couldn't fight back, but it would feel a lot better than
what he had to put up with now.  A verbal assault, where Akira took
everything she said and made it sound like something completely
different!

{Yipe.  The flipping pronouns are making this surreal.}

    "What?!"  She growled.

she

    "I'm not afraid, I just know you'll take it the wrong way.  So why
should I bother to answer?"  Soul of ice.  Show no emotion.

{I was wondering when Ranma would remember his training. Very good. Now
get 'em all mad, make 'em run around the table, and Hiryu Shoten Ha the
lot of 'em. :) }

    "Ah, no.  I managed to pick some up from your associates.  Not as
many as I wanted, but I decided I could make do.  And I'm sure my
compensation will more then made up for any personal feelings you might

make up

have."  Akane noticed the corner of his mouth twitch just the slightest
bit. "Besides, I wanted to get some stuff out of the way before any
other business you might have with Ranma."

    She blinked.  "Other business?  Why, I'm sure I don't know what
you're talking about."

    Ranma had just finally removed the strap when they all found out

{suggest deleting either "just" or "finally"}

what the other business was.

    "Airen!"

    "Ranma, darl-- You?  The brazen pig-tailed hussy!"

{Eeek!}

    Akira scratched his head.  "You DID say you wanted the tests results

test's results {or} test results

to be unambiguous..."
    "Don't worry, Ranchan.  I won't let them do anything to you.
After all, I'm your best friend, right?  Right?"  Akane wasn't sure she
liked the gleam in the okonomiyaki chef's eyes.

{Woof!  :) }
 

    "But if is DOES?" pressed Ranma.

it

    "STUPID BOY SHUT UP OR XIAN-PU STICK BONBORI WHERE SUN DOESN'T
SHINE!!!"

{heheh}

    "..."  Akira wilted and shut up.

    Nabiki chirped in again, "I'm guessing that Shampoo's statement was
true."

{suggest} chimed in again,

    Akira's gaze lingered on Kodachi, but everyone else put her out of
mind, as soon as he was out of sight.

mind as  {...}  she  {Kodachi?}

    Ukyo was the first to respond, "So you do have a true love?  Are
they in the room?"

Is she in the room?" {Ukyo isn't in any doubt about Ranma's preference,
right?}

    "Did that harridan tie you up?  Did drug you, that hateful witch?

Did she drug

    "Nabiki?"  The girls faced the Tendo behind the polygraph, alarmed
by her silence.  More so by the blush on her face, as she watched the
paper stream by.

    "Oh, Ranma!  I never knew!"

{facefault!}

    "WHAT!?!"

    Ranma shriveled at the group yell.  Even Akane looked betrayed.
"N- No!  The thing's got to be broken!  She's lying, I don't love her!"

    Nabiki instantly dropped the emotional schoolgirl routine.  "True."

    "Nabiki!"  Akane yelled at her sister.

    She sighed.  "I just always thought I was in Ranma's heart.  To
find out he doesn't love me, and know he's telling the truth...  My
poor heart!"

    "Knock it off!"

    "Heh."  Nabiki grinned and stuck out her tongue.

{Very IC for Nabiki.}
 

    Ranma licked her lips.  "The one...  The one I love is..."

    "What?  Am I supposed to come out now?"  An emotional, powerfully
built, but terminally shy martial artist came out of the bathroom.

{ohshit}

    While everyone else turned to see the new arrival, Akane and Akira
stared directly at the eyes of the girl who spoke next.

    "Ryoga?"

    "NO!"  Akane picked up a chair and hurled it at Ranma.  The seat
caught the bound girl directly in the face, knocking the bed over onto
the ground.  The attached cables and wires were suddenly pulled taught,

taut,

jerking the polygraph clear off the off the cart and smashing it into

clear off the cart

the floor.

    "Ranchan!"  Ukyo was instantly by the dazed Ranma's side, using a
small spatula to cut her free from the ribbons.

    "Shit!"  Nabiki was instantly at the polygraph's side, checking the
casing and the mess of graph lines from it's sudden landing.

its

    Ryoga scratched his head.  "Did I come out to soon?"

too
 

    Shampoo's glanced at Ryoga, and then back at Akane.  Her eyes bugged
out.  "YOU!  You stupid pervert girl!  You did it!  You really did it!
You make girl-type Ranma like BOYS!!!"

    Akane backed away, followed by the eyes of Kodachi, Ukyo, and
Nabiki.  "N- No..."

    "What?" asked Ryoga intelligently.

    "But you can't even be BOY right, so now Ranma fall for stupid Lost
Boy!  You really IS sexless!!!"

{Ouch.}

    Outside, Nabiki didn't have to wait long for the sounds of a Battle
Royal from inside the nurse's office.  "Well," she told herself, "They

"they

won't have to go far to patch themselves up.

{Oh, my goodness. The characters got away from you, I can tell. You had
a plot, and they charged into it and twisted it like spaghetti.

Applause, and laughter.}
 

    "Why did you do it?  You only made everything worse!"  You knocked

worse!  You

the lie detector over, so we can't read the lines right, and you
spilled Akira's photos so he doesn't know which ones I reacted to, and
which ones I didn't!"

    "Ranma, that's not true!"  Akane started to chase Ranma down.  This
was precisely the sort of thing that Akane wanted to help Ranma with!
Becuase of her curse, she was insecure about her masculinity.

Because

{Only in Ranma, a sentence like that... suggest ending it with !, though.}

    Akane put her finger on Ranma's lips.  "I love you.  I won't lose
you."  She closed her eyes and smiled.  Time was precious.  Jusendo had
shown her that.  Her mother had shown her that.  She couldn't waste life
trying to deny a part of herself.  Ranma was obnoxious and rude, a self-
centered insensitive jerk...

    But she loved him.  The dummy.

    Ranma swallowed.  "R- Really?"

    Akane nodded.

    "Y- You know that I...  That I..."

    "I know, Ranma."  She wouldn't make her say it.  Ranma wasn't ready
yet.  At least, not to say the words.  Akane could be ready for the both
of them, for now.  "I know."

{sigh...  I just love these scenes.  :) }

-------------  ---------------------------------------------------------
 End Part 12    Next Time:  "The Dew of Love"
-------------  ---------------------------------------------------------

    "Which is it?" prompted Shampoo.  "Who does Airen love?"

    Ranma licked her lips.  "The one...  The one I love is..."

    "Yes?"  All the girls leaned forward.

    "Me!"

    A collective facefault followed.

    "I'm the best looking, I'm a better cook, AND a better martial
artist than all of you put together!"  She laughed maniacally.  "I'm
the perfect wife!"

    Ukyo pulled out a sharpened spatula, and Shampoo matched it with
a glinting scimitar.  "If you're going to be the perfect wife, I guess
we'll just have to make sure you're ALL woman, then," said Ranma's cute
fiancee.

    Akane produced a bucket of hot water and a blunt bamboo shinai.
"This might hurt a bit..."

Cool!  Outtakes!

Okay, I hope that no one thought I was actually going to give anything
away back under the tree when Akira said he was going to tell Akane
"everything".   ^_^

Well, I had hopes, but you cruelly dashed them.  You fiend.  :)

The next part is the conclusion to the first story arc, and should answer
*all* of your questions!   Well, one, anyway. Once and for all, what *is*
the true Nature of the Curse?

"What is Truth?"

It's already a quarter to a third done, so it shouldn't take nearly as
long as this to get out.

I never complain about someone else taking too long. I complain about my
taking too long. :) It takes as long as it takes...

C&C is, of course, appreciated.  I understand that large peices like this
are difficult to work with, so I'll be happy if you can just tell me
whether you felt this episode stuck together as a whole, or felt like
discrete peices pasted together.

It worked for me. I've had this gang massacre my plots, and, man, it's
like going down a waterslide with eight speed-crazed giant otters
harnessed to your innertube. You get to the bottom, all right, but you
wonder how the hell you got there...
 

Thanks a bunch,

Thanks for writing and sharing!


Vince Seifert    Network Analyst     seifertv@csus.edu
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
CSUS hired me to build their LANs, not to give away the homeworld.